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WhiteMystery is a bisexual goth tranny sysop carebear robot belonging to girlvinyl and possessing 500 e-monies on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Its main directive is to construct additional pylons, and to replicate its genetic material — it comes as no surprise many have mistaken it for a human being. Also, WhiteMystery owns and assumably molests a cat.
Last thursday, WhiteMystery was seen quitting IRC forever after explaining to aempirei that he would never understand the special things that went on in #ed. WhiteMystery had threatened to gline oclet for reasons unknown, and hepkitten explained to him that he would never chat as hard as oldfags like her and oclet and that this was generally a poor thing to lack. Due to the Curse of WhiteMystery, the #ed and the whole IRC network died only 30 minutes later. The manner in which this phenomenon occurred is still poorly understood. General consensus was that chatting is not a crime, and one bystander remarked that WhiteMystery should perish in a fire. Many were left asking, where is the lulz? Others decided they were now officially bored to death. When ED comes out on DVD, we may find clues to what really went down. Because WhiteMystery is a goth tranny sysop carebear robot belonging to girlvinyl and possessing 500 e-monies, he is immune to any form of interference. An ability to gain favor with homosexuals is speculated to be key in his bid for power. Because no one among us can escape this, we can expect our pants to continue being charmed off for years to come. You can detect WM's growing influence on ED by a trademark failed snarkiness and unneccessary usage of his sig within the bowels of the wiki. We're through the looking glass here, people.
Who WhiteMystery Would Like To Meet
— just moments after more than one person told him to chat harder
What You Should Know About WhiteMystery
—read: hispanic and proud!
Most Private Thing WhiteMystery Would Be Willing To Admit Here: