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Virgin

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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OL

Untouched and pure, as in "virgin snow." Virgins are new to an IRC channel or a given community. When virgins innocently violate unspoken rules of netiquette, those experienced with the internets flame them into a smoking pile of greasy ashes, much like the NRA encountering Bambi. Because of their boorish behavior, virgins can appear to be trolls. However, trolls are consciously obnoxious for the lulz while virgins have no idea they are idiots. Savvy trolls will often create a sock puppet who pretends to be a virgin.

Sexual Virginity

According to a survey of 13-year-old boys, girls fall into three categories: virgins, sluts, and mothers. According to a survey of 16-year-old girls, females remain virgin as long as they only fuck Jesus and/or only take it in the ass. History demonstrates that most all girls are not virgins (unless they're under 10, you pedo). Much to their regret, most 13-year-old boys are because they have small penises and noone wants them. (And most 13-year-old boys don't like being victim to pederasty, no matter how handsome Noone is.) See also: Technical virgin. Usually virgins' pussies smell great.

Virgins Who Want To Stay That Way

A surefire way to keep the opposite sex off the tip of your dick.
121 reasons why he will always, always be a virgin. And no, getting sodomized by the scoutmaster doesn't count.

Oddly, some virgins wish to continue their useless state of frustrated abstinence.

  • Modest Girls
    • Sample Entry: "I love Jesus. He's my lover and lives inside of my temple...so I don't need to show it off." (Note: An excellent source of what.)
  • Iron Hymen
    • You don't have to be a slut! Instead, you can live a bone-dry life that is bereft of disgusting penis snot that will try to cry its way up your uterus. Yes, you too can be a virgin for the rest of your life!
  • Platonic Love
    • Sample Entry: "Weezer lead singer Rivers Cuomo is continuing his celibacy past his self-declared deadline. 'Abstinence doesn't require as much self-discipline anymoar,' he says. 'We never had any serious groupies, anyway. Our generation got screwed.'
  • Everyone on Encyclopedia Dramatica.
    • I suck cocks.
  • Anne Coulter
  • thepeaguy!!!
  • Consecrated Virgins
  • WheatThins
  • Asexuals
  • Equivamp


   
 

<WheatThins> debating what kind of condom to buy for first time
 


 
 

#ed

Want To Be More Virginal

even if you've been dating for 5 years, sex before marriage is a sin and will send you straight in satan's anus

Fucking for Virginity Page was baleeted.

Chris-chan claims to be a virgin with rage, but when Clyde Cash sent prostitutes to his house, Chris refused them because he wants romance. [1]

What We Know

Not much is known about virgins because those who are virgins typically claim that they are really sex fiends. Scientists speculate that most virgins are actually recluses who have small penises. Female virgins often complain about it on their blog.

Useful Advice For Virgins

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Gallery Of Virgins

PermaVirgin

Typical aspie virgin.


Another lazy dying alone autistic virgin.


A man's penis after having no sex for 5 years.
File:Dox6.jpg
horse cock>women's vagina
This is what happens to male virgins.
Typical virgin penis.

PermaVirgin is an incurable affliction caused by the horrible virus known as "Nice Guy Syndrome". These boys are caught in a downward spiral that keeps them virgins forever, no matter how hard they try or how desperate they get. Part of this downward spiral is them doing exactly what women tell them they want, being a yes man, and buying gifts for her, which, unless they're a dominatrix, triggers the woman's "Don't Fuck" instinct (any real man knows that the key to getting laid is doing the exact opposite of what a woman says she wants, being an asshole to them). PermaVirgin is also known and best described as the Friend Zone. It can also be, and is more commonly caused by internets disease.

Famous Virgins

Famous non-virgins

See Also

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Virgin is part of a series on

Sex

Visit the Sex Portal for complete coverage.

Virgin is part of a series on Language & Communication
Languages and DialectsGrammar, Punctuation, Spelling, Style, and UsageRhetorical StrategiesPoetryThe Politics of Language and CommunicationMediaVisual Rhetoric
Click topics to expand
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Virgin is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChris BenoitCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerKitty0706Leelah AlcornLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler Dumstorf

Those Dying Alone

2 gryphonAhuviya HarelAlex FordAmerica's Third PartyAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoArgent009Arguecat3Sophie LabelleBambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBikerfoxBill9929Bob RehahnBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesByAppointmentToChloe SagalChris CrockerChris-chanChuck M.CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDGTrixieDiaper BoyDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDorian_GayDragoneerDrakonEmoEpic Fat GuyErik RibsskogFagolescentsFanFic CriticFat ManFaust & PoryAnita SarkeesianFilthy Frank Five Nights at Freddy's fansFluffy teh wolfFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleIan Miles CheongIchverbotJINXDROWNEDJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Kathleen ToddKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickLeigh AlexanderLordelthibarManchildrenMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMonica PunkMoviebobMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardNick BravoNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhil FishApril DavisPit ViperRandi HarperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSam PepperSceptreSchnookumsSethistoSnapesnoggerSonmanicSuperlisamcbEric RidenourThe Unknown AutobotTheSockDetectiveTom PrestonTourneyfagTyciolUlillilliaVinceintheBayWeegeeisgoingtokillmYouZoe Quinn

Their Methods

9gagAIDSBoozeAnimuask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsBody PillowsBullyingCosplayDead FriendDeviantARTDiscordDrugEdginessFanFictionFeminism The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGooglewhackingHackingHover handsHufflepuffHypebeastSelf-seclusionInfantilismInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGMen's rights activismHomestuck‎MUDMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of FishRuneScapeSecond LifeTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeTeam Fortress 2The SimsTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube