YouTube Thomas Club
YouTube is a home to not only shit videos, but also shit people and communities. These communities either have groups of their own on the site, or are just given collective titles by outsiders to group them together easier. The subject of this article is based on the latter. Enter the YouTube Thomas Club, a thriving, previously undiscovered garden of potential trolling and lulz. The community is mainly made up of man-children, 13-year-old boys, and 16-year-old girls that apparently jack off to Thomas the Tank Engine. They are likely all autists because it is a recognised fact that children with autism prefer Thomas and friends to all other fictional characters. Like all YouTube communities based around a children's franchise, the members can get easily offended. If you give their work thumbs down, it will lead to a shitstorm that will last months.
Thomas the Aspie Engine
Thomas & Friends is a monumentally overblown shitfest of a children's television show that proved unusually popular with autists and aspies. It originally started as a series of books written by an English clergyman turned into high budget television by a business woman. This was nothing special, but the show was quite unusual to Amerifat audiences. One notable 'feature' was each train's static leering faces staring right into your soul. Somehow this is charming to certain people. Despite its fairly simple premise about as deep as a kiddie pool, it caught onto the blooming new generation of autismal children like wildfire.
Even real-life railroad lines got into the faggotry by dressing up engines as Thomas characters, which is largely done not for the kiddies but so Thomasfags can jizz on the dressed up engines. Perhaps it was the simple mode of storytelling that gave it appeal, or perhaps it's because it featured trains, the show wasn't going anywhere despite a decided decline in quality (and going by how the show started, that's an achievement) and well past the show's heyday it still wields an unholy fanbase of freaks who never have and never will outgrow it. With the books being created by assholes, the TV series brought up by stoners, and both being profited upon by toy companies, just how twisted is the Thomas & Friends fandom?
The YouTube Thomas Club is a collective term for the various interesting individuals of YouTube that still watch Thomas & Friends, and have a tendency to make crappy videos in tribute to it. They often use Paint to make faces which often look like shit, they can't even afford Photoshop because they spend most of their money on toy trains. They usually stick together tightly in their little online community because they have no friends IRL. They are rather quiet and often keep to themselves compared to say the Sonic the Hedgehog fanbase, which are very much vocal and tend to breed nutters like Alix Henriol. However, like the Sonic fanbase, it is not difficult to troll these individuals and produce some quick lulz. Most of the members are, unsurprisingly, autistic. This is undoubtedly one reason why the "community" is such a shithole. Likewise, many Thomasfags are also bronies, closeted or otherwise. This says alot about Thomasfags in general.
— A 20-something year old man on the topic of getting his mother to order him a wooden toy railway accessory
With the invention of Windows Movie Maker, even complete dumbasses can make videos. This is evident by the sheer amount of shit produced by these kids and uploaded for other equally thick people to see. There are eight main types of video that they make:
Model train personification
The most common and easiest type of video for Thomas Club members to make. These videos are often produced using old point-and-shoot cameras and involve a prepubertal-sounding person talking to a model train about various things as if it was a real person. When coming across such a video, it is highly advisable to download it, just in case the original uploader takes it down in response to excessive flaming, and then re-upload it afterwards for the entire Internet to see.
One of these uploaders, an NYC-area aspie by the name of "Gordon," has recently become famous on /n/ after a glorious anon posted one of his videos there, causing the first and only shitstorm on that board to date.
The tribute/music video
Another common type of video that these aspies jerk off to. These will most often consist of either slides of stolen pictures, or clips from Thomas & Friends, often coupled with with shitty pop songs such as 'Life is a Highway' and other shit aimed at the High School Musical crowd. Failing to get any decent quality footage, these kids will settle on recording episodes off their TV screen using their $10 webcam.
The episode reenactment
A popular genre that these kids practically orgasm over. Somehow the original stories just weren't good enough and here we have quality re-enactments made by either elitists who gripe over the TV series' adaption or retarded 6-year-olds who think remaking an episode is cool and original. These are made by the uploader simply playing with their train toys in their mother's living room while having an episode playing on the TV in the background to create the sound. Very little is done in terms of proper editing, but that clearly doesn't matter. Retards will give it five stars no matter what the quality is.
The fan episode
Take the above, except replace audio from the TV with audio of the fucktard uploading the video, mumbling their own horseshit fanfic that is most likely a carbon copy of an existing story except with some name changes, and even when it is not it still sucks.
Admittedly, they are pretty good quality, except that the narrator keeps stammering every ten seconds and the camera work sucks.
These kids just love adding to the shit pile on YouTube that most people call redubs. The sound is usually ass, the quality of the footage is grainy, and listening to kids (and occasional man-child) trying to imitate their favorite characters is just sad.
As if the episode re-enactment wasn't bad enough, they have to create their own retarded series that consists of other users "auditioning" for shitty things they call voice roles. They do this by recording themselves trying to talk like one of the trains. If the fucktard accepts their terrible voice, they use it for their stupid series that no one cares about. The sad part is that they think they are successful actors.
Believe it or not, they will do lines for anything. Anything.
As if the never ending shitpile from the Thomas YouTube club wasn't enough. Some fags steal ideas from cartoons then combine them with Thomas the Tank Engine and noobs actually laugh at this sort of shit. It's bad enough some of these dumbasses still like Thomas, never mind the thought of them having an orgasm over a video that contains no original humor. It's hardly surprising that some cartoons aren't as funny as they used to be when their jokes are being brought down to this level of shit..
Yet another waste of cyberspace. Noobs in the Thomas community will typically take a couple of scenes from a cartoon or a Pizza Hut commercial with Ringo Starr and the Monkees and have Thomas audio in the background or vice versa. A lot of this shit is poorly edited and most use the same clips over and over again. Even the most oblivious cannot fail to see the shitty quality in a lot of these parodies... oh wait, yes they can.
Like all retards on the Internet, they are very docile things at first, but as soon as you say anything that is not 100% praise, they turn on you and get nasty. Some argue that they are like this because their hugboxes are either broken, or they never had them in the first place.
A typical response to receiving a one star rating or critical comment from someone that does not like their work is usually to throw a temper tantrum and get his/her fellow retards to flame the hell out of whoever was not swallowing his/her terrible work like it was chocolate.
These kids also get very stroppy if you steal their hard work or emulate it in a certain way, since they are aspies, and often claim copyright even though they are using someone else's characters/story/etc. This was evident when BLACKbusterCritic started archiving the events of the Thomas community for reference material.
Some members often see this sort of stuff coming, and put a pathetic little notice at the beginning of their videos, saying they will sue you if you steal their video/idea. It it advised that Anonymous steal the videos with these sort of warnings on them, edit and re-upload them, and watch as the little kid on the other side of the Internet tries to hire an e-lawyer for his case.
Meanwhile, here's a much more interactive way to piss off the fuckers. Make your own awesome Thomas parody using dialogue from an adult-oriented movie or TV show. Something you like, which Thomas fans would never touch with a 10-foot pole.
BRWS competition faggotry
One day, a YouTube Partner by the name of Simierski thought that he'd be able to weed out the 4% of the YouTube Thomas community that wasn't retarded by doing a social experiment. For this, he set the community a very simple challenge of creating an original character, that was actually somewhat original, for his model train series that has made leaps and bounds across the Internet. He would then give out prizes to the people that actually did their research on the topic of making a character that would fit into a series about steam engines in 1950's Britain. Amazingly, even the most basic of instructions were ignored, and over 90% of the entries fucked up on at least one of the requirements, if not all of them. Some even stole characters from other sources, including Thomas.
After the winners had been chosen, many of the inbred morons who made completely crap entries started crying about the whole ordeal, even going as far as to draw their creative abortions crying. Eventually, most of the lame attempts at original characters were removed once the competition had ended.
—silverexpress1997 on why his Danish engine didn't win a contest meant for British engines
How to spot a YouTube Thomas Club member
It is fairly easy to spot one of these lurking in a friends list or in a comments box. Here are some pointers:
- May try to show off in comments by posting useless railway trivia.
- May have a channel avatar that relates to or includes Thomas.
- Has a list of friends and foes in the description box of his/her profile.
- Has channel rules in same description box, mostly along the lines of "NO BAD COMMENTS OR I BLOCK YOU!".
- Will most likely list Thomas and the Magic Railroad as a favorite movie even though it is shit.
- Will be friends with loads of other YT Thomas Club fucktards.
- Will always have at least one video of a shitty slideshow dedicated to either their favorite character out of the show or original character bullshit.
- Will often cry if you downvote their videos for lulz.
"Normal" Thomasfags VS YouTube Thomasfags
Contrary to popular belief, there is no viable difference between YouTube based Thomas fans and "normal" fans aside from the site they reside on.
The mass of "Normal" fans habitually hang out on the Sodor Island Forums (SiF for short because fuck grammar), a
closed off heavily moderated shithole with no more community than a YouTube comments page a fantastic forum that only the best fans hang out on.
Each member feels the need for undying friendship for one another, despite interaction being relegated to the sporadic forum post.
Members vary anywhere from 12-year-old kiddies who should be watching Pokémon to 40-something-year-olds whom act as senior veteran members of the fanbase despite churning out the exact same type of crap as their young brethren.
Habitually, veteran members of the fandom will usually be the ones calling the shots - usually headhunting shitty fan collaboration projects and throwing up neurotic "theories" about Thomas. One point of lulz was a rebuttal to a troll article written by The Guardian making fun of Thomas - written by no one else than Ryan Hagan (moar like fagan amirite), the king of all Thomasfags and defender of all things Thomas.
The kiddies are no better than their masters, throwing up horrible fan videos and making banal comments all over YouTube.
Those that don't hang out on Sodor Island Forums were usually banned, and make laughable attempts at attack videos against the forum.
This is the origin of many a YouTube Thomas Club member - rejection from a shitty forum (and of course access to mommy's computer and daddy's camera).
Sadly the forum elite take a stance no higher than the kiddies in such arguments, making the SIF versus YouTube conflicts more akin to a case of kiddies versus... more kiddies. In a "community" where the elite leaders are every bit as irritable and immature as the kiddies, it begs the question of such a community's quality.
TL;DR The rest of the Thomas fandom sucks shit, too.
— Lyin' Ryan engaging in a conversation with some kiddie
Seventy years of bullshit
Last year, the entirety of Thomas celebrated seventy years of spreading cancer and hatred across the planet. People who created Thomas and children who enjoy Thomas were interviews as exhibitions of the human gene pool failing on a level not seen since World War II. Seventy years of Thomas means seventy years of children and manchildren equivalent to what became the YouTube Thomas Club. As of 2016, this means the planet has suffered from over seventy years of this bullshit. seventy years of autism, seventy years of sheltering lunacy, and seventy years of that disgusting primary color scheme.
A list of noteworthy members
While the Thomas fandom is chock-full of bronies, weeaboos, manchildren, and literal children, here are some of the more infamous individuals at large.
- TheSiFAdmin (Powerword: Ryan Hagan) - Inbred 25+-year-old manchild and almighty ruler of Sodor Island Fansite & Forums, the unofficial hub for all things Thomas. Gets extremely butthurt when anyone
questionsinsults his totally awesome forum. Not only believes ex-members betrayed him but also touts his shit-hive forum as "the best." When Ryan isn't pitching bitchfits with kids over the Internet, he plays with overpriced bath toy tugboats left over from some terrible children's program over 9,000 years ago.
- thenewtrainboy54 - A disgusting manchild in his 20s who is also obsessed with a shitty cartoon called Phineas and Ferb while making crossovers with Thomas and himself. He sings badly to Thomas songs and still watches The Wiggles). Despite being the biggest source of cringe in recent times, he is completely oblivious to this negative feedback as he chugs along making horrible videos that only morons legitimately enjoy.
- TheNewStoryTeller - Horrific basket-case of an individual who makes very long Thomas stories with toy trains... and ponies, too. Appears to have brain damage. Probably also a pedo since he made video of him singing 'Oh, Pretty Woman' by Roy Orbison for an autistic 14 year old girl.
- ThomasPercyAndToby2 (Powerword: Chris Tomson) - Tetraplegic fucktard who recently gained the use of his mother's computer to spread his engaging ideas and profound opinions. Goes on angry, hate-filled rants whenever anyone disagrees with him. Runs a lousy blog full of reviews not unlike those from MrEnter. Recently claimed to have become more tolerant and respectful of what other people think.
- ericpierre53 - Take from his fedora what you will.
- jlouvier - 30-something manchild who still collects toy trains, also claims to have kids.
- Thethomaslover1990 - Creator of the brilliant, original series "Engines Tonight," a comedic goldmine encompassing characters from shows like Thomas, My Little Pony, Total Drama Island and the Winx Club. Highly recommended viewing if you want to have a bloody good time.
- TheFattHatt - Pretentious, unfunny, asswipe. Actually lives up to his screen-name (who would've thought!?). Enjoys fapping to UnknownThomasFan1's sister in his spare time. Constantly makes jokes about 9/11 but is really a coping mechanism because his stupid dad died in the Twin Towers.
- Andrew Homer - Respectable gentleman known solely for bitching and moaning about absolutely fucking everything.
- Diesel 20212 - A manchild who is a fan of both Thomas and MLP:FIM. Truly the best of both worlds!
- Sparkshot - A 20+-year-old veteran of Sodor Infantile Forums who films Thomas remakes like everyone else. Also likes to be called "Knuckles" from Sonic the Hedgehog... for reasons.
- ZacheryWanzer - Autistic fag who draws "art" of lousy humanized Thomas characters, see them here.
- Brice Stone - Keeper of the peace who has made it his mission in life to flag every Thomas-related video that he deems inappropriate. Oddly enough, he dislikes bronies.
- ThomasWoodenRailway - Tries to live like another YouTube all-star, starts wars if anyone tries to stop him from collecting his YouTube cash. Also sees himself as a god. Has a $1,000 camera yet makes videos with toys for kids
- TobyandMavisforever - Redneck choir girl who has become the default female voice actor for a vast majority of Thomas videos. Insists on singing at least once in every video she appears in. Also makes Thomas/MLP crossovers.
- SkarloeyRailway01 - At least his "remakes" have slightly higher production values than the rest of this shitty fandom.
- Tines Sensahthe - Freaky, passive-aggressive Welshman who spent two and half years of his life making his own Thomas movie with the railway simulator Trainz. Soon afterwards Thomfags from every corner of the world clapped their chubby, Dorito-dusted hands and had tears of joy streaming down their many chins, proclaiming it to be the single greatest fan made Thomas video in existence. You can watch the aforementioned abomination in all its glory here.
- SonofOdin29 - Internet drama queen who insists on bawwing for sympathy whenever somebody criticizes his behavior.
- OkamiTakahashi - Weeaboo trash supreme. He will rip you a new one if you have not "researched" the show's DEEP LOAR. Also, retcon bullshit.
- Skarloey Rheneas - Emo ginger faggot who tries to kill himself every time anyone dares criticize his Roblox remakes. His friends created the #StayStrongSkarloey movement, thinking that a sequence of letters on the internet would be effective in preventing him from killing himself.
- zMark Anthony - Local neckbearded weeaboo that makes reaction commentary videos of others' Thomas videos, which doubtlessly leads to extreme butthurt in the community and the users make videos defending the user's "creativity" and portraying zMark as a bully. Oh, and he got swatted by the police for criticising Skarloey Rheneas' Roblox remake of 'The Flying Kipper' and that his Henry avatar moved like a Hornby Henry that hadn't been used for years.
- Alexander Hill - Typical manchild as well as one of the Thomas/MLP supporters. Unhealthily obsessed with STS' Mr. Conductor. He also uploads videos of himself lip-syncing songs because he can't sing to save his fucking life and his video of himself "singing" "Happy Birthday" for his mom shows it. Possibly related to thenewtrainboy54.
- Nathaniel Bingham - Voice-acting manwhore whose channel consists mostly of poorly-voiced audition videos which are also poorly filmed with a video camera for projects (most of which never happened). Will voice in any project regardless that it's shit.
- Evil Sonic - Manchild who makes these shitty "Thomas Crap Show" videos on YouTube using his Wooden Railway toys from when he was 5. (He's a teenager.) He uses his iPhone to shoot these videos which clearly shows he's not able to get a tripod, so he holds the fucking thing. He also trolls people on Toontown
- Eli J. Brony (Powerword: Eli J. Brown) - Manchild brony in his twenties who makes shitty Microsoft Paint art and recolors of locomotives.
Gallery of fail
- Bronies - Similar group.
- Ken Friedel
- Nascar221 - Ships himself as a character from South Park combined with a Thomas-style train who's in love with Serena from Pokémon.
- Pooh's Adventures - A similar fantard movement.
- RJ Bandsma
- Special poetry slam
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