The Eunuch Archive
Is it possible there is a forum so unbelievable and horrifying it's beyond trolling? Perhaps. Some people deliberately cut off their own balls. No, they were not attacked by rabid feminazis or had an unfortunate accident while getting head from their pet dog, they did it willingly. Then they posted about it on the internet.
After mutilating one's private parts, one must create an account on The Eunuch Archive, a place dedicated to those who find satisfaction in removing (and maybe eating) their own cock thus turning into a hormone-less asexual. But however, TEA has everything a Eunuch needs, ranging from a wonderful collection of stories to a personals section, with many users willing to remove your penis if you haven't already.
The forums have wonderful topics such as "I clamped my balls down to 5mm today" and "hey guys, come check out my chopped cock!". That is all there is to it. If you feel there is something wrong with yourself, all TEA members will recommend that you get castrated over any other medical treatment. The forums also have penectomy and transgender sections since simple castration just wasn't enough.
Most forum members wish to be "neutralized", as in getting their testicles removed, or just to have their cock completely ripped off. Wonderful! Now you get the idea why nobody wants to troll this place.
The Eunuch Archive has a lot of terribly written stories dedicated to castration. All of them are quite frankly tl;dr and full of Engrish, and most of them involve buttsex with minors. No, srsly, take a look.
Other stories include husbands simply wanting to cut their dick off out of nowhere and tell their wives about it, a guy in a restaurant literally eating a waiter's dick or teachers mocking a schoolkid as they go to get him castrated with permission from the government. Sounds senseless and will never ever happen irl, but it's what you expect from sick fucks who wish to get themselves castrated in the first place, amirite?
Justin Bieber - A Boy Forever
The best thing TEA has probably ever done is write a fanfic whereas Justin Bieber gets anally raped and then castrated so his manager gets more money from his childish voice. We're not kidding. In fact we wouldn't be surprised if Bieber was castrated already. This makes excellent trolling material against groups of Bieber's fantards.
If what they haven't already got isn't sickening and disgusting enough, there's their Personals section where sick fucks can meet other sick fucks. This includes trannies and people who actually cut off their genitals. They even have a Hot or Not section. You need to register to see these monstrosities, but the best ones have been posted here for your viewing, you freak.
TEA Success Stories
Holy fuck! WHY?!
If you are still reading this article you are probably wondering why anybody
in their right mind at all would want to cut off their own balls and dick. After literally several seconds of deep reflection and thought there are a few possible conclusions:
- They are also members of the Voluntary Human Extinction Movement and / or Childfree.
- They are very impatient pre-op male-to-female transexuals
- Or regretful post-op female-to-male transexuals
- They have been brainwashed by batshit insane feminists
- For the lulz
Though they may not be good theories, they are the only theories which do not involve actually asking these newly-made eunuchs WTF they were thinking. Some things are not worth knowing.
The Good News
Some argue that people who cut off their junk because they want to obviously have severe mental problems. Luckily however thanks to their scrotum-slicing ways they can never populate the Earth with their brain-dead spawn. Perhaps there is some method in the madness.
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