Tess Holliday

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Tess Holiday is a fat activist, and is currently the fattest model signed to a "mainstream" modeling agency. She started the #effyourbeautystandards movement on Instagram and is one of the best known frontrunners for the "Fat Acceptance Movement". And yet, the question remains: Does Tess really love her body? Obviously not. No sane human being can truly be happy with 300lb of fat restricting their movements and crushing their internal organs. Like all fat people, Tess hates her body, and her face (which is always plastered behind gallons of makeup). One would think that someone who has suffered as much as she has due to obesity would encourage others to steer clear of it, but not Tess, who cares more about money and fame than living to see 40.

If she can't be happy, no one can. Tess dedicates her life to encouraging impressionable 16 year old girls to fill their bodies with poison and to wear it as a badge of honor. Tess believes that giving fat people a hard time because of their weight is like being racist, homophobic, or misogynist. She dreams of a future where weight loss camps get picketed by Al Sharpton, or turned into donut factories.

Before Fatty Activism

Yes, take a much slower method of dying than suicide, like diabetes.

Tess went to school in L.A., where she claims to have been bullied for her fatness and whiteness. One thing that stands out about her life story is that Tess claims to have been "verbally abused" by her father over her weight, which probably means that he wanted her to go on a goddamn diet. Like the spoiled shit she is, Tess goes by the philosophy that nothing mean or stern should ever be said to another person under any circumstances, which scores several bonus points with feminists, who see being an intolerable whiny bitch as "empowering". Anything other than the constant asspats she's used to gets labeled as "abuse" or "bullying". Of course, all this does is marginalize the seriousness of real abuse. When everything is abuse, nothing is. Good going, Tess.

She moved to California with her kid (Once upon a time somebody stuck their penis into this behemoth) to live with her then-boyfriend, then dumped him the second she found a few chubby-chasing photographers to screw instead. Her real name is Ryann Hoven. She has some kind of aversion towards her old name, and denies that it was ever her name to begin with. Hmmm.....

Former friend anon here, and well, nothing in particular other than that she's a whiny primadonna bitch on shoots. (Didn't do any directly with her, just more like a few models called to do pinup/rockabilly kinda shit and we were both at the same shoot, anyway)

Most of us were content with doing our own hair/makeup or doing each others (I suck at doing my own hair) and sharing dressing space but this bitch. Oh my god. If any of you have roomed/worked with other girls, you know how there's always one that spreads her shit EVERYWHERE and brings way too much crap? That was Ryann. So much whining and passive aggressive "well I would've done your blush differently" or "that lighting was a bit harsh." She was also a complete cunt to any non-white models, which isn't a surprise considering she's from Mississippi. Before she started "modeling" in Seattle this twunt changed life goals every few months. First she wanted to be a lawyer. Then a doctor. Then an "actress." The "modeling" shit kinda just happened because she's that fucking thirsty for attention. I find it real funny that she's all "love yourself" cos back in the day she'd slut shame six ways to Sunday…let there's plenty of early shoots with her udders out and she's on her twitter with her ass out fucking constantly. She's also ridiculously jealous of actual, successful plus models (ESPECIALLY Robyn Lawley) and would bitch about how they "sold out." Um. Sorry if so disjointed I'm just tired AF and dealing with bronchitis. TLDR she's a two-faced entitled bitch who acts like she loves everyone but is the most bigoted hypocritical moo ever.


—-Former friend of Tess

Public Image and "Activism"

In August of 2014, the actress Keira Knightley, tired of seeing the media enhance her breasts in Photoshop, agreed to pose topless for a magazine under the condition that the image not be modified. On this day, Keira accepted her body as it is, and made a statement to the media on their standard of beauty. On the other hand, Tess Holiday, who claims to go against society's beauty standards, spends a lot of time trying to conform to it. Tess cakes herself in makeup, heavily uses Photoshop, stuffs herself into corsets, does her hair in elaborate styles, and wears five inch heels.

Tess partakes in the whole Rockabilly, pinup-inspired fashion that 90% of all fat chicks love. Why? Because men in the 1950's would fawn over her 300lb ass because of Marilyn Monroe or some shit. Remind her that no one was fucking fat fifty years ago and watch her have a meltdown.

Tess Scams Her Customers

How it all started

One day Tess looked at her bank account and realized that she was running out of Jew golds for McDonald's. Since no reputable modeling business wanted anything to do with her fat ass, she went with Plan B, sell out. She grabbed the cheapest table cloths she could find, slapped the "Eff your beauty standards" slogan on them, and sold them as t-shirts to her fat fans for Forty Fucking Dollars, oh and some small percentage would go to a charity for domestic violence victims. It was the perfect plan.

Except there was a teeny thing that Tess forgot; she actually needed to send the buyer's their purchase. And the charity money? Gone too. Her fans turned against her faster than they could down their extra large Diet Coke. Eventually the company Redress, who has Tess as a client, had to reimburse as many customers as they could. Many asked about the charity, only for Tess to claim, "We were working at a loss".

So what happened to all the money? During this fiasco Tess spent the money on a vacation to FUCKING DISNEYLAND!!

Tess goes to disney.jpg

Weight denial

For someone who advocates health at every size, Tess has no problem with lying about how much cellulose she's really lugging around. Every news article on her so far states that she is 250 lbs. This of course, is bullshit. Anyone that has tried to guess her real weight has guessed it to be in the late 300's.


She's healthy guys! About missing Pics

See Also

External Links

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Featured article November 30 & December 1, 2016
Preceded by
Tess Holliday Succeeded by
Plastic Surgery