The JEST board on all of the *chans, and some say the most easy to troll (although we all know /k/ holds that title), /sp/ is 4chan's obligatory sports board. It's a place where overweight armchair quarterbacks (who call themselves /sp/artans but everyone else calls /sp/astics) go to troll back at the trolls trolling them, and discuss sports every now and then. As most sports require at very least some minor social contact, by 4chan's basement dwelling standards, users of /sp/ are considered borderline normalfags, who could possibly be capable of typical human activity such as holding a conversation with eye contact, leaving the house to purchase shopping or attracting a female partner to reproducing with.
As there only so many hours in a week when sports are actually being played to discuss, /sp/ reverts to off topic OFFICIAL POWER RANKINGS of porn stars, breakfast cereals, childhood cartoons etc. Trollball manager general threads discussing the advantages of basing your entire strategy on LONG THROWS and nationalist based trolling where culture-less Amerifats dish out semen rations to starving crooked toothed yuropoors.
To make up for this lack of “real” sports on TV at times, /sp/ substitutes in OFFICIAL GAME THREADS of events that are really not even close to being classed as a sport, such as the Royal Wedding or The Price is Right, as something to argue about and post reaction images to.
Alternative sports names
One of the major pastimes on /sp/ is changing the "traditional" names of sports, to names that more accurately describe their true nature. This originally started from yurofags raging about American Football, referring to it as "Handegg", the argument being that the hands are used more than the feet and it is played with an egg rather than a ball. Butthurt Amerifats struck back with "Grassdive" for the theatrical performance played by fairies previously known as soccer.
These alternative names caught on and expanded to cover most other sports and are the standard response for whenever a niece sport thread is started. For example every time some long haired greasy stoner goon stumbles into /sp/ and starts a skateboarding thread, the guaranteed first response is “Woodflip/Stonerplank/Criminal Wheels is not a sport”
/sp/'s greatest meme and source of win comes, ironically, from one of the greatest sports failures of all time, the 2007 New England Patriots, in which the pissah BAWWston team won 18 consecutive games and then subsequently lost the Super Bowl. Whatever the subject, "18-1" is always the proper response to any Bostonfag saying anything ever, or to anyone else who appears easy to troll, which, again, is pretty much everyone.
In the 4th quarter of Super Bowl XLI quarterback Rex Grossman of the Chicago Bears made one of the stupidest, ill advised plays evar. Instead of making a sure-thing, check-down pass for a first down, he said, "Fuck it, I'm goin' DEEEEEEEP," and threw >9,000 yards down the field only to have it picked off, ensuring the Bears defeat. After he UNLEASHED THE DRAGON, Rex came to symbolize everything fail in sports (this was before 18-1), and thereby was destined to became a favorite of /sp/. When a cancerous newfag accidentally posted the much-win Rax Grissman in a Nod Flenders thread, the board finally had a fitting depiction of Sexy Rexy, as, like Rax, Grossman is a fucking joke.
BRETT FAVRE is a quarterback who is over 9,000 years old and has his own team,
THE JEST The Vikings. In the past few months, BRETT FAVRE has moved to New York Minnesota and had John Madden surgically removed from his dick. This doesn't stop Madden from slobbering on BRETT FAVRE's knob at every chance, uttering his famous catchphrase:
—ESPN on any subject.
Costanza.jpg is a classic /sp/ reaction image captured from the episode "The Abstinence" from Season 8 of Seinfeld. In this episode George Costanza lectures Derek Jeter and Bernie Williams of the New York Yankees on how to properly hit a baseball. When Jeter points out that the Yankees have won the World Series, Costanza makes this face, laughs at them, and says "yeah.... in six games"
Basically it is a great >implying image and is widely posted on /sp/ for implying things such as your social life, sexuality or condiment storage are not normal. The first and most well known incarnation is believed to be " >Putting ketchup in the fridge"
It has since spread to other boards by unfunny tripfags and evolved into "I seriously hope you guys don't do this" where it has been stripped of all traces of originality and context and is now being copy pasted to death.
/sp/ is home to a large Yuro population who talk about nothing but divegrass and Divegrass Manager all day, along with attempts to troll Americans. They also get into arguments with the American posters over what is and what is not a sport and have tripfag circlejerks routinely. They are considered by many the cancer killing /sp/. Their diet consists of nothing but semen and wibbly-smibbly jibblies.
They are also avid players of the game Football Manager, also known as Divegrass Manager, Autistic Manager, or Divegrass Spreadsheet where you manage a divegrass team in buttfuck nowhere and sign fake brazillians to contracts. Many Yuro /sp/ posters do absolutely nothing but post threads about this game and screenshots of their "players" while talking about shit like long throws ratings and complaining about how much virtual funds the virtual oil tycoon gave to their virtual divegrass team. It's best to avoid these people as much as possible.
/hoc/, aka furpuck, is the Hockey faction on /sp/. Most /hoc/ fags are fans of teams in the Atlantic Division (usually the Philadelphia Flyers), Canadafags, and fans of the Red Wings. /sp/ hates Crosby so much, that whenever he is brought up, /sp/artans frequently post pictures of Crosby getting knocked down on his bitch ass, along with the caption "Its only fitting."
"Refpuck" is also another term found many times in /hoc/ game day threads, whenever a Penalty is called against any team for any reason, no matter how obvious the call is, it is almost guaranteed that some retard will claim the Referees are ALWAYS biased against them and often blame their calls on why they lost a game or series.
Other shitstorms in /hoc/ include: faggotry about the Flyers, Rangers, Sharks, Red Wings, or any Canadian team, or how teams in Southern markets such as the
Atlanta Thrashers or the Florida Panthers should move to Canada. If anyone mentions the Boston Bruins in a /hoc/ thread, the common response to said faggotry is 18-1. As previously mentioned. butthurt rants about Cindy Crosby are the most common topic in /hoc/. Also, hate against Gary Bettman is common.
/hoc/ is also notorious for being hated by NBA fans. Both parties end up arguing with each other all the time resulting in each thread being filled with the same arguments about attendance, Versus, furfaggotry, and niggers. Lots and lots of counter-arguments about furries and niggers.
/hoc/ doesn't exist outside of hockey season, until /sp/ discovered YAVA HOCKET.
/cle/ is the delusional Cleveland faction of /sp/ (though this is sometimes extended to Columbus as well), which consists of underage b&s sucking LeCrab James's dick. /cle/ is notorious for having shitty sports teams, especially the Cleveland Browns of handegg and Cleveland Indians of steroidball. When not jacking off to pictures of Brady Quinn or browsing Cavfanatic, /cle/fags will post about how Kobe Bryant is inferior to LeBron (who, last Thursday, was dunked on by a college basketball player), and how Cliff Lee is a legitimate pitcher who didn't just have a fluke season in 2008. tl;dr, /cle/ hasn't been relevant since Lebron left anyway.
On the 18th of October 2010, during a football game between the Jacksonville Jaguars and their divisional rival Tennessee Titans, it was the 4th quarter with just under 7 minutes left to play the Jags were down 23-3. A television camera panned over to the home crowd for a reaction shot and captured this fan, getting up from his seat, rubbing his chin and him cannot helping but smile and shake his head in disbelief at his teams poor performance. He stands there dumbfounded and is unable to comprehend at what he is witnessing, and thus a legend is born.
Jagsfan is posted heavily on /sp/ as a use-all reaction to ridiculous situations. He does not appear often in Jags threads because Jags threads do not appear often anywhere.
THAT. BIRD. is the result of the 2008-2009 NFL season when the Arizona Cardinals (now known as THAT. BIRD.) went on to defy the odds by going against The Best division in football and stumbling into the playoffs with a 9-7 record. They were signed off as a mere mistake, but then ended up lolling their way all the way up to the Super Bowl. The trail of drama and lulz from the teams they left behind are a story of NFL legend. Of course, being the typical massive joke and pile of fail team that they are, THAT. BIRD. Lost the game in the last 40 seconds of the Superbowl to the Pittsburgh Steelers,
who went back home to the City of Champions while leaving THAT. BIRD in extreme butthurt. Shitsburgh is filled with faggotry. "Big" Ben rapes women and is a retard. Also, a racehorse that won the 2009 Kentucky Derby.
Like Rax and 18-1, most of /sp/'s memes come from epic fail in the world of sports. So it is no wonder that Vince Carter is one of /sp/'s oldest and most enduring memes. Unlike Grossman, /vc/'s fail was a more gradual process, as his promising early career turned out to be nothing more than hype and choking in the playoffs. Despite his crappiness, Carter is still good for 13 points worth of dunks every night, proving again and again to be one of the most over-payed players in the history of the game. He serves as a constant reminder to everyone of the mistake in thinking that a guy who's entire game is based on the slam dunk could ever really make it in the NBA.
USA WON FIFA|FUCK ENGLAND
The only Soccer discussion /sp/ usually has is the Soccer vs Football troll threads where Americans pretend to be Europeans and Europeans pretend to be Americans. They spew the same copypasta over and over again and nothing is ever really discussed. In June 2009 however during the Confederation Cup held in South Africa the American Soccer team decided to show up and they defeated Italy 3-0 while Brazil beat Egypt 3-0 in the final games of that group. Because of those bizarre outcomes and the tie breaking formula USA advanced to the next round in the tournament. Suddenly /sp/ was interested in Soccer and the upcoming game vs Spain, it was hyped up and called Megabowl II. Many people knew USA didn't stand much of a chance but patriotism and the possible trolling that could ensue led to about half of /sp/ picking USA over Spain. Game time came and the vuvuzelas were in full BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. USA scored two goals and TIM MOTHERFUCKING HOWARD had more saves than Trevor Hoffman and Mariano Rivera combined. USA won 2-0 and /sp/ exploded in ">spain" and "How does my ass taste Spain?". The Spanish butthurt was immense, America beat Spain at their national sport, the same sport America would otherwise not give a shit about. The Megabowl II gave /sp/ much needed lulz seeing as how the summer sucks for sports.
One day the /sp/artans at 4chan discovered a website entirely devoted to discussing why sports are responsible for everything that is wrong in society; www.sportssuck.org. They proceeded to infiltrate their forums and troll for great justice. One member in Particular really rubbed the /sp/artans the wrong way, that man was FAT MAN at first the trolls thought he might be the greatest troll of all time but they quickly realized he was not. They proceeded to get doc's, and much win and lulz were had.
Though the majority of /sp/artans found trolling sportssucks to be full of lulz, some began to feel the focused personal attacks on Fat Man were going too far. Some were disgusted by the amount of Fat Man threads and left, while others stuck around to complain and sage (saging on /sp/, lol). Though Fat Man raid threads were already responsible for a large amount of /sp/'s content, cries of "GTFO /b/TARDS YOU'RE RUINING /sp/" continued to flood the board, effectively derailing /sp/, making it almost impossible to discuss anything but Fat Man.
The board was split on whether or not these so called "/b/ tactics" were appropriate when dealing with a sad old man. Moralfags claimed that he didn't deserve this treatment just because he dislikes sports, while the trolls argued that anyone so easily trolled must be further pursued. You have to admit, this is pretty fucking funny. Issues about his overt racism, ignorance and intolerance were also brought up as reasons for the raid, suggesting that he wasn't such an innocent old man after all.
It originally appeared that the Super Bowl rid /sp/ of Fat Man forever, but it proved to be only a momentary distraction, and the trolling continues.
>yfw da burrs win da superb owl
Literally the greatest threads of /sp/, there's usually at least an active one every day. Last Thursday, some /sp/artan started samefagging these threads for a month, until he died of a mysterious disease. He always looked forward to da football team da Chicago Bears winning the da super bowl, for some reason. He spelled it superb owl, further increasing the wat. Using the Burrspeak used by the SNL superfans, along with some broken English, this gem was born, long after he was kill. Plenty of /sp/artans caught on to this, posting about the burrs, Mike Ditka, Jay Cutler, Da Fridge, and how much a faggot Aaron Rodgers is. Many lels were and will be had, and everyone lived happily ever after. Da End.
Post Fat Man/Super Bowl, During the Olympics
Presently /sp/ is without a decent mod so cross board raids and other shenanigans have upset the balance of power on 4chan. Some want to just get rid of /sp/ cause they're obviously butt hurt from the cross board raids. While others just wish moot would give /sp/ a mod they deserve.
It was said by moot that /sp/ was the mods least favorite board and thus creating mass hysteria on the board with people believing that /sp/ would be banned for good. While one side of the people of /sp/ were taking this as a joke, the other side had already made up their minds, with their new allies /mu/ they had a back up board if /sp/ was to be shut down.
—CptCanada during the Olympics.
Solid 7 is a /sp/ meme that originates from a TL;DR story someone posted on /sp/ about him on a night out getting cockblocked by his bro from scoring with a girl called “Jane”, whom he classed as a “Solid 7”
After however after he posted pictures of “Jane”, it was immediately obvious that his definition of what classed as a “7” - a fat, fake tanned, trout lipped, pre opp transsexual, was painfully inaccurate in comparison to the rating systems of the majority of the population.
This kind of hilarious delusion in the quality of your female is is very similar to the same kind of hopeless delusion exhibited by the blinded, rapid fanboys of /sp/ in the quality of their sports teams. Who at the start of every season can be found shitposting that this will be their year to win “da superb owl” or “the stan lee cup” until the inevitable colossal wave of reality crushes their dream for another year. (See the typical sub-human scouser fans of Liverpool FC)
Football Manager, aka Trollball Manager, aka Autism Manager, aka Yuro Spreadsheet, is a massively popular computer game series that has been a permanent resident in the best-seller lists across Europe since its first iteration was released in 1994. The image board format is a perfect one for discussing this game, allowing users to swap screengrabs, stories and advice with each other with relative ease, and indeed on an average day there will be around 600 to 1000 /trb/ posts on /sp/, making it /sp/'s very own Brony. However, /trb/ users opt not to do this and instead treat these threads as a kind of island of lost toys for tripfags who can discuss how they're failing at school (because they spend seven hours a day managing a fictitious version of Burton Albion), how they have no money (because they left their job to concentrate on managing a fictitious version of Burton Albion) and how their friends don't want to hang out with them (because they spend the very few minutes when they actually leave the house talking about a fictitious version of Burton Albion).
Protip: Wander into a /trb/ thread and casually ask "So this is basically "FIFA Manager 11" with worse graphics?" and wait for the ensuing meltdowns.
Chargers Copypasta started in a thread laughing at how the top 5 teams in Pete Prisco's POWERRANKINGS picks for the coming season are going 1-4.
This was posted while the game between the San Diego Chargers and the Kansas City Chiefs was still in progress, an incredibly ass pained Chargers fan seeing this, posted a lengthy rebuttal at those seeking to write his team off as loosing the game due them being behind at the half.
—Anonymous Chargers Fan
Many variations of it exist and are often posted in game threads when a team is loosing for trolling purposes.
National anthem of /sp/
—MLSE during Olympics. (Sung to "Won't Get Fooled Again")
Making a Thread on /sp/
- Know nothing about sports.
- Find a game on TV or streaming online to watch while you're trolling on 4chan, because you have nothing better to do with your life, and physical exercise is out of the question.
- Choose your favorite player and make a terrible Leave X to Me shoop in MSPaint.
- Get trolled as your team gets its ass handed to them.
- Attempt to defend yourself by >implying and using reaction images out the ass.
This only applies during the designated America time (19:00 - 04:00 GMT). During Euro Time (10:00 - 18:59 GMT), simply point out Europeans penchant for being overweight and for allowing Muslims to shit all over them. Also - Fuck Handegg.
/sp/ is clutch superbowl performances
/sp/ is the red wings dynasty
/sp/ is the women who dunk in the wnba
/sp/ sometimes includes wrasslin' before it gets moved to /tv/
/sp/ is 18-1, THAT.BIRD, Rax Grissman, THE JEST, BRETT FARVE, USA WON FIFA, WHY, greentext and reaction images, trolls trolling trolls trollercoasters, Kobe rape,
/sp/ believes in delivering all sides of an argument, including side A, side B, and side Sage
/sp/ gives us a reason to live
/sp/ gives us a reason to search for reaction images
/sp/ complains about how the refs handed you the game
/sp/ calls all the other boys bandwagoners
/sp/ appreciates Kobe, LeBron, Crosby, Grossman, and the Mets bullpen the same way it appreciates gay Gundam wing fanfiction
/sp/ knows which sport is the best
/sp/ is a collection of copypasta and copyarguments, but every once in a while there's a thread where we dole out 6 or 7 samefag posts
yet /sp/ is known for delivering humor at approximately sixteen times the rate of all other boards put together, including /b/
/sp/ is the reason I'm on 4chan
/sp/ is the reason I stand up for the Vancouver Canucks, Alex Ovechkin, Roy Halladay, and the collective NBA officiating.
/sp/ is the reason
/sp/ is the only reason
Choose WHY, choose american /sp/, choose divegrass, choose handegg, choose casual racism, choose >mfw, choose >Schalke, choose >putting ketchup in the fridge, choose power rankings, choose is an horse an athlete, choose women’s curling, choose 18-1, choose watching sports with bros, choose Amerifats, choose /hoc/, choose attempting to force terrible memes, choose being alpha, choose USA won FIFA, choose stealing other boards’ gets, choose not being /mu/, choose having in depth discussions about Football Manager tactics at 4am, choose /wc/, choose EXALIFTIN, choose making fun of Europeans or Americans but knowing deep down that you’d be nothing without each other, choose georgecostanza.jpg, choose mocking /a/, choose haxball, choose >shaw, choose procrastination, choose trolling, choose eating your delicious semen rations while browsing, choose laughing at the fat mod, choose not being an obese neckbeard, choose Paul (RIP), choose that feeling when you get home and feel like relaxing and having some casual sports discussion and you know just where to go, choose MESSIMESSIMESSI etc., choose ATH/PTI, choose solid 7s, choose >0 goals, choose luckswing, choose watching 4 games at once on dubious foreign streams, choose apehoop, choose Anonymous, choose that feeling of sharing an unbelievable moment with people all over the world and getting their reactions instantly, CHOOSE /SP/.
Other Memes and Common Images
- 2010 World Cup
- Rax Grissman
- Cindy Crosby
- AH HAHAHA FAGGOT
- Michael Phelps
- Superbowl PORN Accident 2009
- Fat Man
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|Featured article January 12, 2010|