Proof positive that even the most mentally retarded niggers can attain high levels of success. Soulja Boy is one of the 37 children Flavor Flav forgot he had. His real name is DeAndre Ramone Way: a seventeen year old rapper of sorts, and without a doubt the dumbest cunt in the hip-hop industry, evar. He is the genius behind that fucktarded song: Crank That that ends every line of every verse by stretching out what some think to be his shitty lyrics. His first, and hopefully last, album Souljaboytellem.com was released on October 2, 2007 and was purchased by millions of MTV addicted teenagers and fags with no taste in real music. Soulja Boy is notorious for having dry, crusty cum on his glasses and oddly enough that cum spells out his stage name.
Soulja Boy was shat out mentally retarded and deaf by a 12 year old mother named LaTrine. At the age of three, Soulja Boy recognized his ability to say things repeatedly and play the skin flute, earning him serious street cred. It wasn't until the age of five that he began to beat on random surfaces, such as women or desks, and to apply his repetitive and retarded lyrics to these "beats". In kindergarten, during recess, the children would crowd around the picnic table as he would make unnecessary noise and jerk his head to the side as if he had some sort of serious mental handicap.
Unfortunately, an entire handful of losers admire Soulja Boy's "music" (if YOOUUU can call it that), causing him to grow a larger head and a nose that could cause onlookers to mistake him for Pinocchio (or a Nigger Jew). The larger, more intelligent, population of the world despises it. Soulja Boy is the target of much criticism, the majority of which he is described in simple terms, as having shitty music.
In interviews, Soulja Boy has attempted to dodge his criticism, stating that "Those who enjoy my music do not have a knowledge of what real music quality is" and "My brain can only remember a handful of words so I am only capable of repetitive wording in my lyrics," he also added "YOOUUU!"
In probably the greatest moment of this niggers career, he released yet another song that was pretty gay, but the lyrics caused so much butthurt, there are few videos on YOOOUUUTube with this song that haven't been reported.
Advice: when YOOUUU encounter a Soulja Boy... FLAG IT, FAGGOT
The Lulz of It
As it so happens, Soulja Boy has achieved a degree of popularity amongst Jewtubers as a source of self-gratification and puerile humor. Because he is, on the whole, rather illiterate (and thus inherently funny, if not intentionally so), his hit single "Crank Dat" now has over 9000 parodies on Jewtube, including ones featuring shitty cartoons such as Spongebob and Mexican (moar like Dora the Deporter, amirite?). While they're all the video equivalent of tracing, they do have the redeeming feature of more competent dancing. A few samples...
Soulja Boy the Gamer
Unknown to many, Soulja Boy is a highly proficient gamer, having achieved a single lifetime kill in Gaylo after 9000 rounds of playing. This is slightly better than the average 0 as is common for most niggers. In the final round of a GNAA tournament, Soulja Boy triumphed over his fellow ape due to the inability of his opponent to handle pushing buttons. Soulja Boy is known to abuse the simplest attacks, a fact which scientists have attributed to his inferior primal instincts.
In addition, Soulja Boy has attempted to review the beautiful art game Braid, however this attempt came out as mindless drivel, much like Soulja Boy's music, which can be seen in his masterful video review:
Soulja Game console
In an attempt to work hard by doing as little as possible, Soulja Boy announced in December 2018 that he would be releasing his own game console. This came as a surprise, especially after it was revealed that said console was actually a shitty Chinese copy of an Xbox One. After the surprise wore off, later digging confirmed that it also included equally shitty knockoffs of PS2 controllers, probably ran on Linux, and was loaded with likely pirated ROMs of games from all kinds of older consoles. This glorified brick can be found on his website for $200, but you can already find it anywhere else for almost half that.
As if his home console wasn't enough to convince you to just buy a normal console from, let's say, Gamestop, Last Thursday he announced that he would be releasing an equally terrible handheld version of the same console, which does the same things, for exactly the same price.
By the time Nintendo comes for him for selling stolen copies of their games, Soulja Boy will have "announced" yet another console. This one differs in that he doesn't even have his name anywhere near it, and that this is a real console sold in China, even going so far as to have its own games. It was designed to compete with the Xbox One and PS4, but fails miserably at both.
Clearly not understanding that no means no by this point, Soulja announced another handheld which is even worse than the last one. It's basically a shitty copy of a GameBoy, which will make you question why someone would pay $30 for what essentially amounts to a paperweight.
Since the start of his career Soulja Boy owns a Chat Room where his fans can discuss their opinions about his music. The chatroom has been a favourite place for raids. For moar information about this, see: Soulja Boy Tellem Chat
Trolling: Soulja Boy Himself
As with all typical retards, Soulja Boy has an online personality. Go to his YOOUUUTube account: it has EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM. His YOOOUUUTube channel has:
- his sites, inc. his MySpace, Blog, IM, Chat, etc.
- his CELL PHONE NUMBER
- HIS XBOX GAMERTAG (XBox fans, YOOOUUU know what to do, it's Souljaboytellem).
Soulja Boy's Parents
Mother: Carlisa Way
Father: Tracey Jenkins
Street: 226 Van Voris Street
City/state: Batesville, MS 38606
Soulja Boy vs. Ice-T
Around the 24th of August 2008, some Azn dude called Ko phished Soulja Boy's MySpace, YOOOUUUTubes and emails, and posted scat porn for all of Soulja Boy's fans to see. Soon enough Soulja Boy regained control and then posted a video calling his personal army to take on the hacker. However this backfired and the internet hate machine sprung into action to defend our great hero Ko and DDoS'ed Soulja Boy's website in the process, putting the uppity fool in his place (27/08/08).
— Soulja Boy
Gay Niggers? On MY Internets?
On 09/03/2008, footage of Soulja Boy partaking in gay nigger sex was leaked onto the interbutts. Anonymous, being the internet heroes they are, felt it their duty to spread this shocking new to the world.
Soulja Boy later admitted to his habits in a YOOOUUUTube video.
— Soulja Boy himself referring to a room full of dudes
He Don't Learn
Not long after the first, a second tape was discovered. Shock and disgust ensued.
— Soulja Boy himself referring to a room full of dudes
Thinking About Quitting?
2010: Soulja Boy Rips from Death Note
Of course, the weeaboos at Sankaku raged hardcore. They made up scenarios of characters from the anime series writing in Soulja Boy's name in a death note so he would get a heart attack. They also threatened to murder him in other ways, and saying things like "Black people stealing things? I never heard of that!" The weeaboos' smug racism and death threats grew. Some of them compared Vocaloid to Soulja Boy, saying how much better Miku was compared to him.
Soulja Boy is an obvious weeaboo. In this song he raps about anime. And in this one he raps about Goku.
Right Here - Deactivated
If his excessive love for anime could get any weirder, Soulja Boy blantly told the world that he has a secret deviantart account on his Twitter. As soon as every deviant heard the news, they came in rushing into his account flaming him with tl;dr paragraphs. He basically ignored all the "haters" at deviantart and continues living his fantasy life as a no longer colested weaboo. Although this can also be claimed as a case of epic trolling or a failling movement of gaining a new fanbase.
- Lil B: who Soulja Boy wishes he was
- DOUBLE NIGGER
- Bix Nood
- IM PRESSIN CHARGES
- Soulja Boy Tellem Chat
- But YOOUUU are died!
- Death Note
- Official Soulja Boy website (couldn't pay for a web developer so made a website on the Ning platform)
- Soulja Boy's Chat Room - Raid for easy lulz
Soulja Boy's NewgroundsBALEETED!
- Soulja Boy's DevianTART DEACTIVATED!
- Soulja Boy's Fiance - DAT ASS
- Gay sex tape 2
- Proof that Jewish/Australian journalists are basically press-release whores.
- Reverse engineering of Crank that.
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|Featured article August 28, 2008|
Senator Barack Hussein Obama
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