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skeezer (noun) 1. a Southern "white" woman, with loose morals and pussy, who trolls her trailer park in an attempt to trick men into spreading her STDs. Darnell went to the clinic, fearing a skeezer gave him VD.

Most skeezers do not live over the age of 30, however Hillary Rodham Clinton holds the world record for a skeezer living past that age where they either overdose on heroin/crack/Oxycontin or die a typical white trash death.


Skeezer women are normally French, Slavic, Alabamian, Russian, inbred, or mongrel. This is due to their unquenchable desire to procreate excessively at the cost of the local taxpayers by whomever will accept their offer of unsafe sex in the trailer/back seat of a car. They were shipped to the New World during the voyage of the Mayflower.

File:Lady J skeezer 001.jpg
Inbred redneck skeezers often live in trailer parks.
Thanks for sucking me and 10 of my friends off. Here is a bump of cocaine, a cigarette from behind my ear and you can drink these warm beers.
Textbook example of a skeezer


  • Not fat like your average woman due to the lack of food being available to their overweight mother. Think of it as a white woman trying to be Ethiopian. This can be observed by looking at the skeezer's arms. If it is about as skinny as your tallywhacker, then she is a confirmed skeezer.
  • Drug preference for something harder than marijuana and liquor. Normally it is meth, heroin, crack, Oxycontin, painkillers, etc.
  • A very small percentage can be somewhat attractive, however that shows how the skeezer's genes have allowed her to appear this way, making her more desirable to the unsuspecting man.
  • Skeezer women live a boring life full of drama like some dude who she was cock teasing is now stalking her and is burning his name in the lawn or her hyper-obese mom constantly whines all the time, engages in welfare/health care fraud and won't commit suicide.
  • Receives welfare/disability/public assistance/food stamps/government housing or works at Wal-mart or any 24/7 diner like Huddle/Waffle House, Super Wal-Mart, or school bus driver.
  • Has a shitty car like a early 80s-mid 90s Buick, Chevy Camaro, fucked up Ford Mustang, or a shitty van. One would say the car normally has a broken driver's side door, however it is just a safety feature if you are high on drugs and you have the skeezer urge to end your life. A skeezer car also has fucking up CV joints, loose belts, or some kind of funny noise that comes from it because thats what happens when you buy a vehicle for $500.
  • A skeezer's father is normally a blue collared man who resorts to domestic violence after too much Natural Ice, which is the preferred beer of the skeezer due to a 24 pack only costing $4 worth of food stamps.
  • Smokes black person cigarettes, especially Newports aka "Newps" or Marlboros aka "Cowboy Killers".
    This skeezer holds the record for having the most weight at the weight of 220lbs. Note the placement of the cigarette in her hand and how she is trying to find a decent man to spread her STDs.

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