Royce da 5'9"

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Sorry for the lack of dick jokes.

Looking bad ass in front of a chalkboard.

Ya'll know my name, bitch, never change up my language / I'm just a rich nigga from a city that's bankrupt


—Royce, admitting that his hometown is shit

Royce da 5'9", Royce 5'9", or Nickel Nine (Ryan Daniel Montgomery) is a former alcoholic and Mr. Potato Head look-a-like rapping nigger with a nose disproportionate to the rest of his face from the best city in the rap scene. He is best known for being the "Bad" counterpart of the duo Bad Meets Evil with Eminem, who is the "Evil". Irony when you take in the consideration of which race typically commits the most crimes, which race typically screams "dindu nuffin" the most, and to top it all off: the fact that they came from a low-class city full of other artists nobody's heard of that filed for bankruptcy in 2014. He was also featured on the soundtrack of Grand Theft Auto III with other unknown loser rappers signed to the same record label that was only intact for 5 years, something that he couldn't of accomplished without dick riding Eminem in the first place.


Like previously mentioned in the beginning of this very article, Royce is from the shitstain that they call Detroit, Michigan; which is noted for being a scene that's full of rappers who have projects that received generally positive reception. His rap name in high school was R-Dog, which, according to Royce; didn't even last a entire year. The stage name Royce da 5'9" came from a chain that resembled the Rolls-Royce symbol he always wore as part of his outfit. The typical gangster at his finest. Another ironic fact, since we all know that a black person who lives in a bad place known as the hood can't afford anything that exceeds the clearance prices that you would see at Walmart. Fast forward two years or so, a day in particular comes where his oldest son (not to be confused with the one who has legitimate autism) was born, his grandmother died, and the day he met his long-time collaborator, and "Evil" partner-in-crime, Eminem. Another two years later, Sony plus the said label that he was still signed to continued to delay the release of his debut album Rock Cock City even further because bootlegs kept coming out on the streetz. Don't know why someone would want to make any bootlegs of him at the time because he was a literal nobody, but nevertheless, it still happened. Nothing was known on the mental illness birther for a few years because he decided to go back to his old wayz on da streetz of Detroit and show that he was still cool or whatever the fuck. He related to most emos in 2004 with the release of his second album, Death Is Certain, dealing with the illness known as depression and the idea of suicide: both of which don't exist and were made up from the man himself in order to make fans sob like little bitches from the fact that only a few of his friends listened to him.

Fast forward a few mixtapes later, two albums later, and stuff which is not worth talking about, he surpassed the #1 slot from the woman who got punched in the face by Chris Brown with his 2016 album Layers on Billboard's Hip-Hop/R&B chart. The album was supposedly a clusterfuck of how just because he experienced a few traumatic moments in his life, that means that his life is automatically better than everyone elses and therefore was enough to make an entire album about.

Kid Vishis

Royce has a younger brother, named Kid Vishis (Marcus Montgomery). He sounds a lot like Royce, so this is the reason that he will always be stuck in his shadow even though he has been in the nigger game as long as he is. Combine with how many people don't know Royce as a rapper, and Vishis is obviously not going to be seen as "underrated" any time soon.

The Present

Royce is allegedly going to release a new collaborative album or extended play (EP) project or whatever the fuck they want to call it in rap nowadays, but fans speculate this dumb statement from only one thing: lazy ass 6 minute "freestyles" over popular rappity rap instrumentals released throughout the start of 2017 that critics are quick to praise him for because wordplay, single, double, triple entendres, and metaphors get their dicks hard as fuck.

1st "Freestyle":

2nd "Freestyle":

3rd "Freestyle":

4th "Freestyle":

It's ironic too because whenever he's in a project with Eminem, no matter what happens he's always the one who gets shit on the most even though he properly matches the song's structure because he's black and Eminem is of Jewish descent. Go figure, dude.

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