This article contains SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
You can by minimizing the life-ruining effects.
Reputation Defender is a lulz removing service used by lol-cows. These scam artists take your IRL money and promise they can remove internet information. What? Internet assholes of the highest order, they brag to the media that they send threatening legal letters to websites to remove material - knowing full well they have no basis. Founded by Lawlschool drop-out, delusional douchebag, and noted homosexual meth-addict Michael Fertik, Reputation Defender promises to "DESTROY" e-drama. However, this is impossible as it violates the Second Lawl of Internets Drama-Dynamics: Drama in the E-Universe is always increasing.
Reassuring empirical evidence of the Second Lawl is quickly surmised by reviewing the results of various high-profile Reputation Defender clients...
Reputation Defender's clients include Lolcows (who feel entitled to nothing but Hosannas from google) or crooks (who use RD to cover news reports of their fraud). Here are some of RD's former clients... and the ways they got milked for ca$h and greater LULZ:
Backstory: The full backstory on Nicole Catsouras is ugly:
A job for R-r-r-r-r-r-r-eputation Defender-r-r-r-r-r! Dumbass CEO Michael Fertik approached the Catsouras family with an idea: he would farm out the family for interviews, thus milking the fools of free publicity. In exchange, Fertik promised to nuke the offending pictures from the 'net.
Result: EPIC FAIL. Fertik's shitty company hit the wall harder than the bitch whose family he'd swindled.
—--Michael Fertik, CEO of Reputation Defender, after fucking up the Catsouras case
No shit, Sherlock! Welcome to the fucking INTERNET!
The quest for moar money: Reputation Defender has set up a website asking the internet at large to help remove the fappable pics of Nikki from the face of the internets, much like Nikki's face was ripped from her body. This web site comes complete with a guestbook and a form that allows people to rat out sites that have said photos.
—Profit man, supportnikki.org guestbook
Backstory: Ronnie Segev✡ was pissed off. Priceline charged him for a ticket he didn't buy. So he called for a refund. They told him to fuck off. He called again. They told him to fuck off. So...you get the picture. 215 calls later, the company called the NYPD. Hilarity ensued.
Needless to say, such press doesn't look good on one's google search-results...
A job for R-r-r-r-r-r-r-eputation Defender-r-r-r-r-r! Methed up CEO Michael Fertik told Segev he could erase news of Segev's crime and arrest...by sending websites a letter begging them to take the hilarious shit down. Reputation Defender also tried to whitewash Segev's Wikipedia page.
—--Michael Fertik, revealing the secret behind his company's fails
Result: LULZ! Pretty much every website receiving the letter told Fertik to go fuck himself or to "eat a dick" One webmaster had the LULZy balls to tell Fertik to fuck himself on national television.
Oh, and poor little Ronnie? His OCD-driven blowup still appears on page 1 of his google results.
Well done, Reputation Defender!
—--Michael Fertik, describing his client, Salina Rahim
Backstory: The facts are rather boring on this one: she kicked some dude to the curb, so he set up a muy caliente MySpace profile of her, replete with streaming video and steamy blogs.
Result: Reputation Defender came to the rescue and, after milking Salina Rahim for free publicity, had MySpace remove the site. Now, Rahim can sleep soundly (before her hookup kicks her skanky ass out of bed, of course) since now she knows that NO ONE will EVER write about her on the internets again! Well done, Reputation Defender!
Backstory: Jesus, where you do start with THESE two (or three if the tits distract you)? Iravani and Heller retained Reputation Defender because of online posts they deemed damaging to their reputations. Iravani was smart enough to get into Yale, but too dumb to realize that if you wear boob-hugging outfits, people are gonna talk! Heller was upset that people had figured out she was a stupid bitch.
A job for R-r-r-r-r-r-r-eputation Defender-r-r-r-r-r! You know the drill: sleazy Michael Fertik wormed his way into Brittan K. Heller and Heide M. Iravani's good graces with a promise: let me pimp you out to some news networks, and I'll get those dastardly bad links nuked from the web!
Result: Can you say "boomerang"? The troll community at AutoAdmit was not pleased by the attention.
The blowback was vicious. AutoAdmit trolls dug up the fact that Heide Iravani's father, Kazem Iravani, was a convicted felon for embezzlement (and a fugitive from justice, to boot). One conscientious XO member, lonelyvirgin, decided a Public Service Announcement was in order; so he emailed the entire fucking staff at Yale Law School concerning the Iravani family secret:
As for Heller, she fared a little better. No longer does the first page of her google-result blare that she's a STUPID BITCH. Instead, the first entry of her google-result only proclaims her a LYING BITCH. Good work, Reputation Defender!
It gets better: both Iravani and Heller were COUNTERsued in federal court for libel, slander and filing a frivolous lawsuit! As a result, lying cunt Brittan Heller fled to Korea (then Afghanistan) to dodge service on the suit! LULZ! Heller has since shifted tracks, becoming a fuckup foodie (in hiding) at thesuitcasechef.com
Oh, and Heide Iravani STILL has huge tits!
For MOAR on Sue Scheff, and how Reputation Defender spammed the 'net with blogster crap to cover up Scheff's incompetence, ruining of lives, and lawsuits against her, see here or here or here. Have fun!
Bottom line: Michael Fertik doesn't care whether his clients are accessories to child abuse - so long as he can keep using his clients to milk that free publicity.
Well Done, Reputation Defender!
Scumsucking Scammer Rodney Sparrow (Renewable Energy Group)
Dontcha hate it when this happens: you have a perfectly nice fraudulent SCAM going, and then your victims start warning people about your scam over the internet? Sucks, doesn't it? Well, that's what happened to scammer Rodney Sparrow and Rodney Sparrow's shitty ponzi-scheme Renewable Energy Group. Once you get known as a complete fraud, GOOD LUCK getting further funding! What could poor [hhttp://archive.fo/OauxA Rodney Sparrow] do to get new suckers?
Why, turn to REPUTATION DEFENDER-R-R-R-R, of course! Over the last few months, Reputation Defender spammed the internet, trying to bump down all those truthful links about how Rodney Sparrow SCAMMED scores of people out of thousands of dollars (we also hear that, like Reputation Defender faggot Ross Chanin, Sparrow got his ass SUED for fucking peeps over).
All of which illustrates an obvious point: cocksucker Michael Fertik and Reputation Defender don't CARE whether you really raped those kids, scammed old ladies out of their life savings, or even if you tortured kittens for sick "fun"...Reputation Defender will do everything it can to whitewash the internet of all the shit that makes it harder for you to be a child molester, scammer or criminal.
—--Michael Fertik, rationalizing why he has no scruples about spamming google with false crap
In 2012, Dumbcunt Lindsey Stone thought it'd be a hoot to flip the bird at Arlington National Cemetery:
The picture delivered plenty of LULZ...but not the kind Lindsey intended:
A job for Reputation.com!
All was going great until faggot Michael Fertik, CEO of Reputation.com, used their client to scam some free publicity from The fucking Guardian...thus guaranteeing that cunt Lindsey Stone would get REgooglegangfucked.
—Lindsey M. Stone gets re-googlefucked after news of Reputation.com's whitewashing go public. DOH!
—BarstoolSports butthurts Lindsey Stone anew
Great job, Reputation.com!
We've established that Reputation Defender is a huge scam and, by extension, Michael Fertik is a huge cocksucker. So, how is it that the company still exists and is defrauding people out of money? Shouldn't the internet be rife with conversations about how goddamn stupid this service is and how the owner should suffer the same fate as his clients? Really folks, if you want your reputation defended, you might start by hiring somebody who can actually pass the fucking bar exam.
Enter R-r-r-r-r-r-r-eputation Defender-r-r-r-r-r! Michael Fertik spends approximately every hour of his waking life building webpages explaining how serious internet bullying is, and how Reputation Defender will help prevent the evil trolls from burning your curtains and your little dog too. He spends all day linking said clusterfuck of websites and using his magic button to get traffic. Then, through the evil juju of the Google bomb, he tries to force all his detractors to the seventh results page of Google search hell.
—Michael "Yes My Company Is Useless and No I'm Not A Lawyer" Fertik, to the NY Post
Result: You want RESULTS from the Reputation.com SCAM? How about this?
In fact, bottomfeeder CEO Michael Fertik finally ADMITTED that he COULDNT DO SHIT to defend even his OWN COMPANY'S reputation! Check it out:
—Michael "Yes My Company Is Useless and No I'm Not A Lawyer" Fertik, to Business Week Magazine
The sad fact is that as long as there are people who have unwarranted self-importance and money, Reputation Defender will be able to sell its product. And as long as said insecure people give Reputation Defender money, it will have all the disposable income it needs to buy sockpuppet websites, advertise, and bribe people to extol its virtues. Even better, every time Fertik fucks up, he gets free publicity because news reports inevitably mention that he was attempting to defend his clients and not to make their internet humiliation a major news story.
Google suggests "scam" after you type "Reputation Defender" though, so at least the mindless search engine has the right idea.
- Article mentioning Reputation Defender from Reader's Digest
Facts about Clients Heide Iravani McHugh and Brittan Heller
- UPDATE: Heide Iravani into I-BANKING @ Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith Incorporated nao! (link)
- Big-titted Heide Iravani (& Brian McHugh) has a WEBSITE nao
- LISTEN UP niggas! Heide Iravani & Brian Mchugh Wedding Registry
- How big were Heide Iravani's tits?
- NEW HEIDE IRAVANI TITTYPICS!!
- Did Heide Iravani McHugh tits get smaller?? (pics)
- Heide Iravani McHugh? More like Heide McHUGETITS amirite?
- Envy this baby: it'll be suckin Heide Iravani McHugh's HUGE TITS
Reputation Defender Client Brittan Heller? STILL a lying bitch
- Hey, gawker.com totally PWNED lying cunt Brittan Heller!
- DoJ attorneys: beware of lying bitch coworker Brittan Heller
- We must be proud - BRITTAN HELLER married off
- Brittan Heller
Facts about Client Lindsey Stone
- Woman Who Had a Pic of Her Flipping the Bird at Arlington Go Viral And Then Spent the Next Year Googling Herself is Back to Tell Us Her Story
- Lindsey Stone revisited
- Non-profit worker who provoked fury with disrespectful Arlington photo tells how she lost her job, can't date and now lives in fear
- After Flipping Off Dead Soldiers In 2012, Karma SMACKED This Woman HARD
- Meet Lindsey Stone, Self-Professed Douchebag
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