Red Hat

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
Jump to navigation Jump to search
International thieves extraordinaire.

In the Linux world, Red Hat is king. No one does a better job of suckering people to buy a free product than Red Hat. Most Linux distributions are based on Red Hat somehow. Sun Microsystems hated Red Hat, and made Solaris free because no one wanted to pay money for something that is just as good, but can be had for free. This is despite the fact that you actually have to pay money for a decent-working Linux from Red Hat.

Red Hat produces two primary distributions: Fedora and Red Hat Enterprise Linux (RHEL). While Fedora is free, nothing works and it will destroy your computer. Only the fucktarded use Fedora. On the other hand, RHEL actually works but you have to pay lots of money for it, and only big, gigantic corporations actually bother doing it. Yet, because Red Hat is stupid enough to include source code in RHEL, other companies give it away for free. Anyone who bothers paying for RHEL is an idiot; download CentOS for free instead.

Alan Cox and Havoc Pennington work for Red Hat. Alan Cox is now at Intel, working with them to make sure running Linux will fry your CPU.
Havoc Pennington was finally shitcanned after he fucked up enough projects at Red Hat e.g. Mugshot and is now working somewhere else as a developer.

Red Hat is also the only reason people use GNOME, the world's most functional and feature-rich window manager.

Origin of the Company Name

Red Hat was named after Richard Stallman's penis. The head of his cock is said to be big and red -- that if you could cut it off, you could wear it on your head like a hat. This, of course, has become a metaphor for how much Red Hat sucks, and why using any Red Hat-produced Linux is a form of castration. Which of course does little to differentiate it from the rest of Linux because all Linux distros are total fucking failures.

Fedora 8 Release

Initial impression of Fedora 8: "HAY GUYZ I'M A HAT"

Other uses

Not to be confused with The Red Hat Cult.

See also

Softwarez series.jpg

Red Hat is part of a series on


Visit the Softwarez Portal for complete coverage.