Paul the Psychic Octopus

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Police.gif On 26th October 2010 Paul left his mortal body, fused with the universe and is now ready to become our beloved, mind controlling overlord!

╲╲╲╲╲┃┊ ◒◒ ┊┃╱╱╱╱╱

To be able to see the future is both a wonderful and a terrible gift. A gift which knows no borders, boundaries, or flags. Good luck to both teams today, but Spain ftw!



Spain redesigned its flag after Paul helped them beat Germany win the World Cup.
Fuck moot, and fuck you. Paul is Time's all time winrar.
Sir Paul is chillin'.

Paul was an English psychic octopus beloved by 4chan's /sp/artans, who lived at the Sea Life Aquarium in Oberhausen of Germany, that had been employed to pick the winners during the 2010 World Cup. His selections during the round-robin, group play and quarter-finals have been right on-the-money 100% of the time making him moar successful than every single sportscaster and self-proclaimed "expert" thus far. He was also 80% at the Euro 2008.

Before Germany's games, Paul was offered identical foodz in two identical perspex boxes decked out with the national flag of Germany and their opponent. It is a known fact that Paul made Vegas bookies shit bricks.

Paul made all of Germany furious when he predicted that Spain would beat them, but redeemed himself somewhat by picking the Germans to win the 3rd Place game against Team Uruguay. Again, Paul was correct. He then went above and beyond the call of duty by picking Spain to beat Dutchland in the final, his first attempt at picking a match winner that didn't involve Germany.

A close match went into extra-time after being tied 0:0 at the end of regulation and given that the Dutch seemed hellbent on proving Paul wrong by attempting to cripple every Spanish player to win, people began to have their doubts. Never bet against Paul though. With a perfect record on the line, Paul psychically took over Spain's Andrés Iniesta's brain and gave him the power to score the game winner as the clock ran out. Paul finished the World Cup 8 for 8 (a win for each tentacle), the chances of which is 1/256

Given Paul's amazing record, one wonders how Paul's 1337 octopus powers would fare in matters of global importance such as cut vs. uncut debates and USA vs. EU flamewars on 4chan.

Paul was found dead on 26th of October 2010. The management of the Sea Life Aquarium insits that it was a natural death - Paul was nearly 3 years old and with that a geriatric octopus. However, we assume that an assassination is being hushed over. Either way, the world lost a great mind and a true hero. Paul was definitely the biggest star and best thing about the 2010 World Cup and will be missed by everyone...except for the butthurt Hollish.

Paul correctly picks Spain FTW despite death threats.

There are always people who want to eat our octopus, but he is not shy and we are here to protect him as well. He will survive.


—Paul's keeper


Paul has spoken. Spain > Germany ftw.

A Challenger Appears

Mani the Psychic Parakeet from Singapore has other ideas though, picking the Hollish (aka the Netherish) of Dutchland to pwn the Spaniards. Pretty ballsy for a fucking bird from a country that doesn't have a world-class football squad. Since Paul > Mani, you can disregard him cos he sucks cocks.

Forgive me for lacking faith, but doesn't this just mean they put Paul's fav food in the Germany box?


—Some lame-ass Paul hater.



Spain 1 - 0 Germany

Paul celebrates.jpg

Spain 1 - 0 Dutchland

Spain won 1-0, Paul was right again and that European better is now out €500,000. Let this be a lesson to all of us. Never ever bet against an oracle octopus.



Told you.jpg

Gallery of Paul

PAUL IS ALL KNOWING! About missing Pics

See Also

External Links

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Featured article July 12, 2010
Preceded by
Sex In Christ
Paul the Psychic Octopus Succeeded by