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Patrick Stewart

From Encyclopedia Dramatica
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Picard eyes.jpg
Bald people discriminate against fat kids.
When Captain Picard says make it so, you'd better damn well make it so or he'll make you bald.
Yup... still bald.

A born-bald Shakespearean actor from Yorkshire, England, best known for being and starring as the Captain Picard from Star Trek who is bald.

He's bald, has very little hair, and is also bald. He's considered perfect for playing the role of Professor X in X-men because he's bald. His more famous twin brother, Gavin MacLeod (also bald), played Captain Merril Stubing on The Love Boat.

He has fucked untold thousands of hot bitches (including your mom). Many of these were aliens and likely did not have vaginas, but this did not stop him, as luckily even alien women like it in the pooper.

Bald Trivia

Bald and Gay or just bald and British? Of course, they mean the same thing so it doesn't really matter.
Patrick Stewart's Famous Bald Twin
Patrick Stewart bald all ova in Trek Porn
  • Suffers from alopecia totalis, (means he's bald)
  • Is French (le baldé).
  • Is Jewish
  • Is the father of Jon Stewart (who is surprisingly not bald).
  • Patrick's second son, Rod Stewart, is bald just like his father, but hides his baldness under a baldly made wig.
  • Born bald.
  • Is currently bald.
  • Uses the reflection of the sun from his bald head to blind his enemies (furries, of course, who are not bald like he is).
  • Will die bald.
  • Is not only French but also American, hence the baldness.
  • Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the U.S.S. Enterprise, who fears large amounts of hair, is a pretty cool guy to the and doesn't afraid of anything, thus is bald. Is the greatest man known to the Star Trek universe, who's only fear is to be as weak as those with hair. This is noted in the 5th season when he punches Beverly Crusher (a "female docter".......bullshit!) in the face for being late for her shift due to she is a women and spent 3 hour fucking with her hair.
  • When Captain Picard was assimilated by the Borg, he saved them the trouble of shaving his head, as he was already bald.
  • Desperately wants to play bald comic book hero/journalist, Spider Jew, as he is a bald-blood-brother of comic creator/perv Warren Ellis, who is not bald, unlike Patrick Stewart, who IS bald.
  • Has worked tirelessly, despite his follicular disability (baldness), to improve his own life and overcome the fact that he does not actually have any hair, because he is bald.
  • Was born bald (that is, without hair) and will die bald. (Ironic, isn't it? Some people climb mountains, travel the world, or even read a lot of books, but Patrick Stewart couldn't find the time to even try and grow just a couple of cranium-carpet fibers, because he's bald.)
  • Did we mention that he was bald? Oh, yeah, it's right there at the top. Well, in case you forgot, he's bald.
  • Follically challenged (bald).
  • Baldy went, where no one has gone before
  • He has No Hair!
  • It is well known that Patrick Stewart is not a nigger, but the leader of the "Smooth Heads Association" that is why he displays his shiny BALDNESS to the over 9,000 viewers on Star Trek in homage to his BALDY brethren. He is also a kike lover...
  • He is bald.
  • If you are going to be bald this is how you do it.
  • Are you done pointing out that he's bald? (Short answer: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!)

Movies Where He is Not Bald


Congressional Medal of Honor for Service to Bald Men

George Bush greeting Patrick Stewart because he is bald.
Duelling baldjos?
"The great thing about baldly going where no man has gone before..."
Another field of specialisation.

At least 100 years ago, the very bald Patrick Stewart was awarded the Baldgressional Medal of Honour for service to bald men across the world.

Picard Song (warning: performed while bald)

To baldly go where no bald man has been bald before

Patrick Stewart lures children into ginger bread house(with his baldness)

  1. 8:01 - 8:21
  2. ????
  3. PROFIT!




See Also

Patrick Stewart
is part of a series on


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