Open Water 2

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Also known as Open Water 2: Adrift, Retards on a Boat, and the like, Open Water 2 is a thriller movie about attention whores who have fallen and cannot get back up... onto the boat. A story about typical basement dwellers who have no survival instincts, or brains, whatsoever. This movie is mostly enjoyed by basement dwellers and/or retards. Warning: Reading about the movie and what defenders have to say will have you facepalm.


Six high school friends, and a baby, go on a yacht to the middle of the ocean. There are three girls and three guys. One of the girls is deathly afraid of water, so she gets forced into the water for lulz. Once all of them are in they realize they have no way to get back on board. Instead of thinking rationally and acting on plans to get back up, they wait in the water while whining and complaining. Only two attempts are made to get back on. The heaviest guy tries to climb up the flag, which rips and he falls back into the water. Soon, they hear a cell phone ring. The jacket containing it is in reach and they grab the phone. When the call ends and the signal goes to one bar, the phone is thrown in the ocean. After a few hours, the second attempt is made by stripping and using their bathing suits as a rope. Once again, the heaviest guy tries to climb it, but it falls back into the water. They give up after that and stare at the boat, hoping their telepathic powers will cause the ladder to come down. The father of the baby hits his head on the bottom of the boat and gets a skull fracture from it. The bright idea of using the knife to make a step in the side of the boat is formed. Before it can happen, the dude with the boat says "LEAVE THE BOAT ALONE. IT'S MY BOSS'S" and stabs his friend by accident. Some girl decides to become an hero because of that and drowns herself. The bleeding guy is left to drift off with the remainder of their bathing suit rope. Another girl claims she will swim to shore and goes off. No one cares. The skull fracture guy dies and his wife screams. Now the only two left are her and the guy who took the boat. He tries to kill himself with the glass from his goggles, then realizes he can stab it into a crack to climb up onto the boat. The mother climbs up and pushes the button that lowers the ladder. The guy goes off to die. The mother leaves the baby again and jumps off to save him. They die and a mexican on a boat finds the baby.

Why It's Bullshit

Examples of movie's stupidity

  • They had six fucking people to work with.
  • It took two, in the end, to get back up.
  • The ladder only needed to be pushed with a button to open.
  • The mother left the baby alone for hours.
  • They only tried two times to get back up.
  • The cell phone was thrown into the ocean.
  • The knife wasn't used and was also thrown into the ocean.
  • The swimsuit rope was left to drift away into the ocean.
  • When the mother got back on the boat, she left her baby to save the asshole that got them into this mess, ultimately dying with him.
  • There was blood from a skull fracture and a stabbing. That should have attracted sharks.

Conclusion: The baby was the smartest character. She could even find her pacifier and put it in her mouth (mistake on film maker's part).

Fans and Protectors

Surprisingly there are people who defend this piece of crap. Their reasons being that the movie is very "emotional", "dramatic", "suspenseful", etc etc. Many people claim that they would have been in the same situation, proving that they are fucking idiots.

I found the film very emotionally dramatic from beginning to end with little time for breathers. The actors were realistic and human, with no characters of a particularly extreme nature, which made the film more captivating for me.

The film focuses on clever plotting and creating suspense making it a good thriller and it has enough unexpected twists to make it a memorable and recommendable affair.

The situation they were in is very plausible and the events unfold at a good consistent pace.

All in all I thought the film was very well made and the best sea-based thriller I've seen.


Being a mother of a 10 month old baby girl.. This movie really stuck a chord with me.. Why anyone would take a baby on a yacht and also not have a cot for the baby to sleep in I'm not sure.... You really feel a sense of friendship between the four high school friends. I found myself not caring about the captains 'fling' thinking 'who is she anyway'. I did feel for the father of Sarah but I didn't care about anyone but Amy as long as she survived and saved Sarah I was happy. I am intrigued to know the actual events and how they unfolded... Once the movie finished I went straight into my daughter's room and gave her a cuddle and shed a tear or two....


I have seen many disgusting movies and I think I can handle them well. However, this movie made me very nervous (as did Open Water 1). It's not some just thriller: this stuff really happens. I think this movie doesn't get the credit it deserves. It should really bother you and stick to your brain. If it doesn't, have yourself sorted out.


One of the most repeated defenses for this movie is, "They didn't have enough time to think about lowering the ladder/coming up with a good plan. People can't think well when they're panicking." Even though it took them about twenty minutes to get in the water, plus an additional fifteen for the last two to jump in. For the most part, the characters spend hours just treading water, waiting for something to happen. Everyone who defends this claim gets butthurt and can never think of a good reply back.


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