Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting
- "Parkland" and "Parkland Shooting" redirect here. For the 2009 shooting, see Parkland Coffee House Spree
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|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
|Nikolas Jacob Cruz|
|Born||September 24, 1998|
|Highscore||17 killed, 17 injured|
|Motive||Supreme Gentleman, autism|
The Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School Shooting or the Valentine's Day Massacre: High School Shooting Edition was a lulzy school shooting carried out in Florida by Nikolas Jacob Cruz✡, a 19-year-old diagnosed autistic ginger incel manlet who did like Cupid but instead of arrows of love it was bullets of love. Nikolas wanted to get revenge on his school for permabanning him from their campus which resulted in seventeen kills, narrowly putting him on the top 30 at #30 above Thomas Hamilton (in injury count only), and dethroning Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold for the most deaths caused in an American high school. Ted Cruz would be proud.
List of fags fragged
- Alyssa Alhadeff, age 14.
- Scott Beigel, age 35.
- Martin Duque, age 14.
- Nicholas Dworet, age 17.
- Aaron Feis, age 37.
- Jaime Guttenberg, age 14.
- Chris Hixon, age 49.
- Luke Hoyer, age 15.
- Cara Loughran, age 14.
- Gina Montalto, age 14.
- Joaquin Oliver, age 17.
- Alaina Petty, age 14.
- Meadow Pollack, age 18.
- Helena Ramsay, age 17.
- Alex Schachter, age 14.
- Carmen Schentrup, age 16.
- Peter Wang, age 15.
17 + 2
As of March 24, 2019, one former student, big titted Sydney Aiello and an unnamed juvenile have become an heroes due to what is speculated as being survivor's guilt.
As is typical with all school shootings, the media's response is the usual bawww-fest filled with moralfaggotry and concerned mothers calling for stricter gun control laws, because the one thing all criminals have in common is following the law.
It is speculated that Nikolas had an active online presence although what he spent most of his time doing was wallowing in self-pity and shame, hating all of humanity. This can be seen as he'd mostly visit chan boards like /r9k/ and celebrate Elliot Rodger's success. He also expressed homocidal tendencies, as seen from his Instagram page. It is also possible that he wanted to convert to Islam as leading up to the shooting he expressed an interest in the religion of peace, even asking people more and more about its culture from .
Cucked by a black guy
Are you wondering why the virgin Cruz had so much pent-up white supremacist rage against non-whites? Well, the likely answer was provided to us by BuzzFeed in an article you can read here. Cruz had a (very Jewish-looking) girlfriend named Dana Craig, who dumped him for a mulatto named Matthew Rosario. After attempting to get his girlfriend back from another boy (Enea Sabadini) who was close to Craig, Cruz publicly got his ass kicked by Sabadini.
The ADL steps in it
The Anti-Defamation League of B'Nai B'Rith got word of the shooting, and upon discovery that Cruz was a non-white Jew, they became desperate to pin the "alt-right" label to a Jew named Cruz. Unfortunately, the information that Cruz belonged to a local white militia group named "Republic of Florida" came directly from 4chan's playbook which was "eager to play them for fools". The ADL eventually corrected their error, but not before the Southern Poverty Law Center took the opportunity to mock the already failing credibility of the ADL.
Videos of the event
David Hogg and Emma Gonzalez
The media had interviewed David Hogg, a survivor of the shooting who had trouble remembering his lines  , raising the suspicions of various conspiracy theorists, who figured there might be more than meets the eye , like being a puppet of George Soros for example. Things gets more complicated when he mentioned his father, who is coincidentally a retired FBI agent, and some folks discovered another video of him when he confronted a lifeguard in Los Angeles during the summer of 2017 . As if that wasn't enough some evidence surfaced showing he visited CNN before the shooting . YouTube quickly pulled down the videos which proved something is suspicious about David Hogg, but YouTube should have known better because they created a Streisand effect, and people saved these videos and uploaded them elsewhere .
Sheriff Scott Israel
Sheriff Scott Israel stood before the court of public opinion in the form of a CNN "town hall" and claimed the Broward Sheriff deputies "did all they could", and immediately after the town hall he informed the public that at least one deputy, and probably more like four of them, stood outside while the shooter continued his rampage. One deputy quit after being exposed, but Sheriff Scott Israel is still being hailed as a hero by the same audience which watched the CNN town hall as a first step towards the gun grab that is now standard after school shootings.
|Kill count:||17/20 17 injured|
|Style:||20/20 In and out before the cops arrived|
|Butthurt:||20/20 Florida, pussy denial & ass whoopin'|
|Bonus:||20/20 Holiday bonus (Valentine's Day)|
|Total Score: 87/100 (B)|
Song About What Will Happen To Cruz In Prison
- Adam Lanza
- Elliot Rodger
- Gun control
- High Score
- Le 56 Face
- Lindsay Kantha Souvannarath - Another attempted Valentine's Day mass shooter, who was busted before she could shoot up a mall with her two friends because they bragged about it on Tumblr.
- NIU Valentine's Day Massacre - A previous, less successful school shooting that also happened on Valentine's Day. Coincidentally, it happened in 2008, so this shooting happened exactly 10 years after.
- Parkland Coffee House Spree
- School shooting
- Secks - What Nikolas Cruz will finally be getting in prison.
- Stoneman Douglas High School gun control activists
- Valentine's Day Massacre
- William Atchison - Who missed out on seeing his Columbine idols dethroned.
- - Be prepared for a lot of edge.
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- Kiwi Farms. on
Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting is part of a series on Education
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|Featured article February 17 & 18, 2018|
|Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting||Succeeded by|
|Featured article March 25 & 26, 2019|
|Marjory Stoneman Douglas School Shooting||Succeeded by|