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Miss California 2009

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God likes hot girls, God hates fags, we were created in His image.

Carrie Prejean is a flat-chested attention whore representing the state of California in Donald Trump's Miss U.S.A. fapfest of 2009. Mario Lavandeira (aka Perez Hilton) somehow wormed his way into being a judge in this edition, and used the position to throw a loaded question at Miss Cali in the final round. As for the other finalist, Kristen Dalton (Miss North Carolina), she just got a question on whether she thought the Bailout Plan was right. (Liek anyone was there to hear their opinions on government policies.)

Mario was desperate to troll Carrie on faggot marriage legalization, because what else is a faggot going to do at a beauty pageant, srsly? Expecting her to approve of ass-fuckers tying the knot, he instead got a load of brutal honesty, causing him to limp off and spend a week spewing butthurt in failtown. Most people had never heard of this cum-catching faggot up until this incident. Even his moniker, "Perez Hilton" spews faggotry and irrelevance, choosing an effeminate name derived from a prostitute.

Babe in Bikini Body-slams a Cum-Catching Faggot

Being the combination of faggot, drama queen, fucktard, and IRL troll that he is, Mario called Miss California a "dumb bitch" [1] on his shitty blog.

Perez reveals his true colors as an opinionated flamer, on the way confirming everyone's belief that he is an attention whore, hypocrite, and butt-fucker.

Of course, any sane, straight person would ignore this drama as a pointless tiff between a glorified future centerfold with an opinion and a camwhore drama queen, but Mario implied on Larry King and Access Hollywood [2] that he was responsible for Miss California being denied the crown [3] because a woman speaking her opinion apparently deeply hurt and offended the turd burglar.

Gracious in the Face of Backstabbing

This but not that.

It is a very touchy subject and [Hilton] is a homosexual, and I see where he was coming from and I see the audience would've wanted me to be more politically correct.


—Carrie, on Mario.

Mario says that he cost her the crown

not because she doesn't believe in gay marriage but because she's a DUMB BITCH.


—Mario's lisping announcement on YouTube (below).

I can only say to him that I will be praying for him. I feel sorry for him, I really do. I think he's angry, I think he's hurt. Everybody is entitled to their own opinion. He asked me specifically what my opinion was on that subject and I gave him an honest answer.


—Miss Prejean thinks of Mario's eternal welfare.

Not that saying you will pray for someone is necessarily kindness of some kind, but after all, Mario was stupid enough to call her a dumb bitch and say she has half a brain, then play the attention whore about it.

But, what did we all learn from this? What's the meaning of life? Well, not much really, other than there are quite a few fapworthy pageants out there that we've never heard about. Miss USA, Miss America, Miss Universe, Miss South Carolina and Miss World. That, and that homosexuals have no right to judge a woman's beauty (or marry.)

Can I haz Sex Tape?

Too hot for TMZ

When Carrie (fail) Prejean tried to sue the Pagent the dumb bitch got what was coming to her as the lawyers revealed a self-shot, home-made, fwaping video by Miss dumb whore herself. It took her all of 15 seconds to drop all charges. Unfortunately, the video has yet to be found as no one has lurked hard enough yet. But just like Erin Andrews's tape, it may never surface.[1] HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT,SHE FINGERS TO SUCKED COCKS

Larry King Appearence

Carrie became friends with Sarah Palin and joined the Take Back America movement to stop the gheys from getting married. She appeared on Larry King Live, and refused to answer questions from both the host and the callers, proving she is not only a dumb whore, but a smug asshole as well.


See Also


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Miss California 2009 is part of a series on


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