Hannah Wagner, also known as is a 20-something big-titted, Philly-living, weeaboo attention whore who makes YouTube videos about Japanese shit nobody cares about, bad reviews of retarded Apple technology, and her obese cats. Yeah, really. She's internet famous for having large tits, big eyes, wearing shitloads of makeup, and has an obsession with Gingers. She targets the weeaboo and Japanese audience to most successfully profit off her wonderful "personality traits". When it comes to writing, she also had a completely fanboy'd Wikipedia article, which unsurprisingly is now a redirect because it was completely fapped dry to deletion, until everyone blew their load all over sex dolls with her face on it.
MHM has a terminal case of gotis (not to be confused with goatse, there is a huge difference), which is continually reinforced by her rabid fanboys who have been fooled into thinking that if they defend her e-honor, they might get to see her tits. According to certain users with experience on the subject, her tits would sag like two plastic bags filled with ketchup and water if it wasn't for her industrial strength push-up bras. Give it 10 years and they will sag, regardless of bra strength.
Who or What is Minxy?
Hannah "Minxy" Minx grew up in Philadelphia and ate a lot of Philly cheese sammiches. The fat from these sammiches went straight to her bodacious double D tits. then spent some time in Japan doing some smoking fetish videos under the tag of "LaMinxette", which ironically had the same goal of videos she is making now, just with the cigarette. During this time she became what every Wapanese manchild/fangirl aspires to be - famous for being some kind of Japanese-speaking, big-boobed superstar idol for no explicable reason other than your looks and personality. Unlike most of her Wapanese contemporaries, this one has a decent grasp of the language of the Moon (albeit with a thick American accent) and a couple other useless, dead dialects, so she wasn't completely shunned by the Slants for her fan-tarding over the years. Holding this aside though, she's pretty much knocked out the rest of the weeb stereotypes and become an annoying, desperate attention-seeking facet of the internet of which is not only unforgivable, but downright retarded. Even her explanation of her catchphrase/nickname/lifestyle/etc., "Minxy," is proof enough of her epic failure upon culture.
Assuming your ears aren't bleeding halfway through her videos, the main problem with Minxy's "work" on the internet can be seen - you would think someone that has been to the country and understands Japanese culture and lifestyles wouldn't be such a cunt about it, much less deliberately sound like a stereotypical weeaboo goth speaking in Engrish. Unfortunately for us, but probably fortunate for her, most of the internet consists of /b/tards, Gaiafags, Tartlets, and Fantards who think the only thing that comes out of Japan is Naruto and Gackt, and thus, you see the sellout skank before you that gets about a thousand follows a day and may very well surpass all those pairs of tits before her who tried being Queen Wapanese. Plus, you'll come to notice she has many more videos that make God cry, much less most YouTube Japanophiles being jealous, so you can't miss her even if you tried.
After spending enough time watching her, fapping to her and reading about her, some would just ask, "Why?" when you account for the facts that at one point or another, she could've stopped acting like a Wap, and that she has the skills and potential to not become another dumb, white, annoying animu-tard, it all comes back to a simple cry for attention and a strong case of GOTIS, as previously stated in this article. She's also proven on many occasions that she'd rather be making YouTube videos than having an IRL most of the time, further strengthening the attention whore image. In essence, in a retarded need to have herself known and get exposure via the YouTube and other social media has now turned into what could be considered a personality that is either fake and means she's exploiting the Waps, or it's real and she's this annoying IRL.
In one of her lame vlogs she claims that she has to remain single so she can be productive, which means making more videos on YouTube so she can get more Wap fanboys to fap to her boobs. The truth is, nobody reasonably attractive or with a decent personality wants to date her, so she chooses to believe that the perfect punk boy is just waiting for her, and she's too flaky and busy with her "work" to notice.
Music Video Challenge
Recently, there was a a shitty Minxy tribute video made by to, as many suspect, draw attention away from the ED Singers song above, also titled "Minxy". Further proof of this was not only the cameo appearance of the weeaboo in question in this new "music" "video," but this response to the video to make moar covers of said shitty song to completely bury the ED Singers song on YouTube views 40:1. One way to combat this would be to do covers of the ED Singers "Minxy" song (the lyrics are on video's page on YouTube), or begin spamming the link to the ED Singers song (CLICK HERE) on either of the video pages; hell, why not both? Or really, get creative - it's all the same and the best work may get posted here for the world to see!
I thought 2chers were smarter than this!
There are FAR too many bad interviews with bands that were too busy attempting to not stare at her rack or make fun of her for being the only girl at a Metal concert wearing bunny or cat ears, but if you want to see her ruin some of your favorite music, there's an interview channel and here's a few links to the ones still on her page:
- Part One of the Converge interview (with random appearances of Mastodon and Dethklok members getting moar beer)
Also, according to the lies of TOW, she hosts a college radio show, Minx Punx, and does ghost writing and reviews in the college newspaper. Of course, getting either of these jobs in college only requires a set of basic skills and going through some form of Communications degree plan (in her case Music Journalism), and a desperation to want to be part of the forms of dying media that are scraping by since the invention of the Internet. Which of course is perfect for someone that has a page on EVERY SOCIAL MEDIA SITE EVER.
This led many to assume that she'd been Fritzl'd by one of her many rabid fanboys, but in reality, she just finally realised that being an annoying weeb on the internet is a fucking stupid way to earn a living, and decided to get out of the game. She is now married to some dweeb, and has a kid, making her a certified MILF
- Boxxy - More loli, less whore
- Gothzilla - Male Dragon-Werewolf, faggot edition
- Lexi Bee - Inverted Minxy
- Magibon - Her ugly, less Moon-fluent, but somehow more popular doppleganger
- MagicalPockyUsagi - More of the same
- Metal Music
- Mickyy Moo
- Miley Cyrus
- Onision - Her E-Boyfriend.
- Spike Zombie - The failbook version only without the goth.
Creepy, crappy pedoHAWT "Model" site
- "Now you can have fun dressing up Miss Hannah Minx." only we all know that's not what you'll be doing to her. Sick fuck.
-  - Retsupurae of one of Hannah's videos on Something Awful.
- A rant on how annoying she is by people who are just annoying as her
One of the many smoking fetish videos that was on her old account. Proving that all she really cares about is how much people fap to her.Baleeted.
- A torrent of what will probably be the closest thing you get to porn of her
- A Wikipedia article of a
wonderfulmediocre musical she somehow landed a part in.
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[Embrace your inner darkness]
|Featured article May 24, 2010|