Miley Cyrus (/c'um duhmp:ster/) was a famous jailbait sex symbol/tween millionaire
pop star whore and the unfortunate offspring of Billy Ray Cyrus who doubles as her manager and primary molester. Billy Ray began as a a country singer who had a dream to become famous by his own merit. However, he soon discovered that he sucked balls. So he decided to exploit his daughter and turn her into an icon for pedophiles to fap to, thus granting him fame and fortune.
She was the only successful child star to loudly scream fuck you Disney! Her primary fan base consists of middle-aged pedophiles and underage girls who either consider her good fap material or constantly piss off their parents by acting and dressing like her. She and her manager frequently perform acts on stage together to sold out audiences across America. The primary jump-start to Miley's fame is her career on Disney, which she intentionally got fired for trolling the pedos and whores she worked with.
Now eighteen, pedos must look for a new little girl, because this one's officially legal! On 3rd february 2011 miley cyrus announced her pregnancy with liam hemsworths' baby and when asked if she would reconcile her relationship with him she replied "f**k no i am bringing up my baby lik as a single mum like cos i can like im so excited ya'll" she is 8 weeks pregnant and her baby is due around the 20th september 2011 See: Britney Spears.
Hannah Montana is Miley's porn character in her former shitty show made popular by pedophiles and 12 year old girls. The Hannah Montana character was Miley's role where she pretended to be blonde, sluttier, and therefore somewhat less repulsive. However, Billy Ray soon had an earth shattering brainstorm and figured that the character could be sold to other molesters in the form of live performances and printed media, that was a success. As mentioned above, if you don't read, Miley started causing a bunch of drama on set later many of the pedos, whores, and faggots started to get pissed off, she was then fired because she kept asking for it. Miley basically gave a big middle finger to Disney so she could venture off on her whore journeys that she calls a "singing career." This caused news stations and parents to rage and lulz ensued.
Hannah Montana Banned Episode
Last Thursday, Disney showed paid subscribers an episode, "No Sugar, Sugar", about Miley's
gay best friend catching the diabeetus. Parents started shitting bricks furiously, and Disney decided to pull the plug on the episode.
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus concerts consist of thousands of prepubescent girls, pedophiles, and the occasional faggot. Tickets to these concerts are so expensive that many moms have to whore themselves out to get their daughters tickets. Concerts are EPIC FAIL due to her bullshit lip-synced ear rape noise that is drowned out by fans screaming as she strips on stage. Obviously followed by her running off stage and reappearing as her sluttier blond alter ego, of course only Miley's fans are retarded enough to assume it isn't her, as her thousands of fans go insane in one massive Hannah Montana orgy, your probably thinking of an excuse to go to a Miley Cyrus concert right now. To further prove that she is nothing but Disney's fucktoy, she is sponsored by advertisements for shitty Disney games and other faggots like The Jonas Brothers. all this gets more annoying when she addresses her fans with her terrible tranny voice . One could figure out the number of cocks Miley has sucked just by listening to her talking voice.
— Brett Rattne - Miley's "7 Things" Director on Miley's core audience.
Miley Cyrus has never heard a Jay-Z song because she doesn't listen to pop music
When asked which Jay-Z song she was referring to in her song "Party in the USA" she replied with this fantastic bit of trolling:
Shortly after, when asked about covering her father's "Achy breaky heart" she replied:
Miley's fanbase consist of two types of people: the ones who actually listen to her shitty music, and the ones who fap to her photos and music videos. The latter never gets disappointed. Miley's fans are pedophiles, females ages 8-16, and druggies, and are truly the stupidest pricks on the planet. They believe that anything whorish this pisspoor role model does can be excused because OMG!!! She just turned 18 you guyzzzzz leave her alone!!!!! Let her make mistakezz!!11!!1one11! Most of the people who say this are guaranteed druggies/past druggies or "Mature for their age" tweens who will become druggies. What these dipweeds don't realize is that there comes to a point when repeating these "mistakes" without the consequences will not teach her anything at all. Obviously, when you're a famous whore doing stupid shit naturally the consequences will be HATERZ. So in reality the haters are saints just trying to teach little Miley a lesson and the fans try to corrupt karma. Oh dear.
- On multiple occasions, photos have been released of Miley in her underwear or showing off her bra. This was a dream come true for pedos everywhere, but not so much for parents of brats who idolize the slut.
- In the most hilarious Miley-related controversy to date, a shooped photo of a J-14 magazine article appeared, claiming that Miley was pregnant. A particularly lulzy version of the rumor claimed that Nick Jonas was the babydaddy. Upon the rumors being released, over 9,000 fangirls everywhere ran to defend their precious role model (see comments on this article). This made them easy targets for trolls. Even after the rumor was disproved, trolls continued to piss off fans by insisting that the debunking was fake and she was, indeed, pregnant (see trolling type #1). Some even went so far as to impersonate her (see the comments of this article).
- A much less lulzy drama outbreak involved Miley not wearing her seatbelt in a scene of her Best of Both Worlds Tour Movie. At least 100 newspapers and magazines bitched and moaned that by not encouraging seatbelt safety, Miley was becoming a bad role model for their children.
- Will she ever stop taking slutty pics? Luckily for you, probably not. TrainReq, a hacker who claims to have hacked into Miley's phone and gotten private pictures, recently posted them for the whole internet to see. Allegedly, the pictures were meant to be sent to Nick Jonas(She apparently doesn't know he likes ghey buttsecks). Nothing new, but this time there were actual n00dz. Pedophiles everywhere simultaneously combusted at the site of Miley's clean, virginal, Christian, and most of all underage titties.
- It is also reported that Miley is dating a 20 year old underwear model named Justin Gaston, and there are some rumors that they are sexually active.
Vanity Fail Photo Scandal
—Billy Ray Cyrus
Last Thursday, several Vanity Fair photos taken by Annie "Jew" Lezbowitz (whose photography ruined many stars such as John Lennon) surfaced on the internets of Miley in provocative poses, resulting in many epic lulz. In this series, Miley is striking several suggestive poses, laying on her father's crotch and is even topless covered in a sheet. Now Disney is in panic mode once again with one of their major stars in a risque photo scandal.
Of course, after the Vanity Fair scandal Miley promised that it wouldn't happen again, but 3 weeks later she released MOAR whore-ish pictures. As if we haven't seen enough already through her MySpace photos. Some people are now looking forward to her future sex tape, which will come out once her show is over. Hopefully, it won't be filmed in that awful night vision mode.
"She's really not pretty that picture makes me sick isn't the point to shooting photos like that is to take pretty pictures?"
Much like a 40-year-old pedophile offering school children a ride home and candy, John Travolta is luring innocent Miley to the Church of Scientology. It is possible that Miley is being targeted by Travolta for the role of "Commodore's Messenger" when L. Ron Hubbard is reincarnated. Commodore's Messengers are teenage girls who served Hubbard hand and foot, fixing his shower, dressing him, and catching the ash from his cigarette and I'm not even joking.
The loli wanted to meet Radiohead because she felt she was entitled to, even though Radiohead didn't feel like it, and they declined. Bawwwing ensues, and while on some Disney radio show in the company of two brown-nosing hosts, she states that she'll "ruin Radiohead", despite the fact that Radiohead can crap out masterpieces at roughly the speed of light, while Miley has only ever created piles of shit. Although in the end she ended up ruining them hence why we haven't heard anything from the shitty band since all of this went down.
Miley offends AZNs
Last Thursday, Miley Cyrus was at a party, and before getting gangbanged, she posed for a picture where everyone but the AZN dude made slanty eyes, so they could be cool like him. The picture leaked, and some "Asian American advocacy group" got butthurt. This is one of the first times AZNs bitched about any sort of butthurt in the media, as most of the time, they like the stereotypes the media has created of them being intelligent, and the model minority, nail salon owners, the enemy in every war movie before 9/11, and jizz loving temptresses in every weeaboo's fantasty.
—George Wu, executive director of OCA, whatever the fuck that is.
Miley is preggers guize!!1
Last Thursday, some emo faggot on UStream, Dfizzy, got bored with his pathetic life and decided to put his viewers to use. He got them to Twatter the phrase "#MileyIsPregnant" over and over and over AND OVER again, until it became the #1 trending topic. Lulz was had as this actually had people believing it.
Mickey was not very happy about this, as you would suspect. The folks who give young slutty her paycheck got butthurt and decided to call Twitter and demand that it be removed. They found out that most of the Tweets came from UStream, eventually found Dfizzy, and demanded that he be banned (he fought for his rights and got unbanned in 30 minutes).
The queen of all faggotry, Perez Hilton, decided to take credit for the topic, resulting in the phrase "#DFizzyOwnsPerez" becoming the #1 trending topic until Perez got butthurt and called Twitter as well.
All of this happened while Twitter-whore Miley was fast asleep. She never commented about it due to the fact that it was probably true, and it was probably by that diabetic Jonas Brother.
Hits From The Bong
Miley: Future Whore In The Making
Teen Choice Awards 2009
If lurid Vanity Fair pics weren't enough, Miley performed her new song Party in the USA by appropriately exiting a trailer and then pole dancing on top of a ice cream cart labeled "Miley's Ice Cream". Must be a secret code for pussy. On another note, many have compared her slutty performance to that of Britney Spears' "Gimme More" video. Unsurprisingly, Slutty's response on her Twatter account to this was, "For all the people calling me the 'next Britney' THANK U. I couldn't ask for a better compliment :)" Goes to show you that she really is the whore that people make her out to be. However this was a great opportunity for pedos and Basement-dwellers to jack off.
A challenger appears!
In the same day Miley was named worst celebrity influence of 2009 on a internet web poll. Since Miley will be turning 18 soon, The Cyrus family has to keep the Pedobear's anger at bay. Since Brandi is 23, the family is now grooming the youngest sister as an offering to The Pedobear. So, her younger sister has gotten attention for wearing a slutty Halloween outfit. Gaze into this picture and prepare to heave.
According to Celebrity Gossip website The Superficial http://thesuperficial.com/2009/12/the_cyrus_family_takes_another.php there is a video of Noah Cyrus booty dancing to Akon's "Smack That" while her family watches on.
DAT ASS Indeed.
Miley Cyrus Gives Lapdance
Just when everyone thought they've seen the last of this attention whore, a video of her giving a lap-dance to a 44 year-old gay pedophile during a party that occurred right after she was filming her shitty movie last year, has surfaced the internets.
Who owns my Heart?
The Parent's Television Council, who also has Billy Ray Cyrus as a member is all butthurt over Miley's latest video, where she basically cavorts around in underwear on a hotel bed, then grinds against some guys in a dance club. Just like most other teen pop slut video.
Child Star Gone Bad
On Miley's 18th birthday while celebrating her escape from the likes of pedobear, she picked up a bong and took a big fat hit of Salvia. She then proceeded to act like a dumb child star who had too many shirley temples, while on video, which then of course went viral the next day. Along with the video of her taking a hit and revealing her tranny voice, pictures of her getting her neck raped by another piece of white trash, probably her father.
A challenger appears.
We Can't Stop
Well, she's finally gone full retard... A stage of excellency that is only available to select and very talented artists such as Nicki Minaj and 2 Chainz - but now sporting a Justin Bieber haircut. If you're too busy to look up the video, then here it is for you:
Just by the thumbnail, you can already tell this is her video most people were shocked and appalled by. And for the following reasons:
- Genius Beat
- Good Video
- Mike Will Made It
- Bear Backpacks
- Cutting off fingers that bleed Pepto Bismol
- DAT FACE
- Eating money
- KISSING A FUCKING BARBIE
- Justin Bieber
- Pop music
A site with so much potential, yet so much work left to do. Go forth and make it lulz worthy.(BAWWW DOWN)
- Don't worry faget, you can still get a copy of Hannah Montana Linux!!
Miley Cyrus is part of a series on
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