Mighty Number 9
Mighty No. 9 is a Mega Man ripoff made by the creator of Mega Man, Keiji Inafune, after Capcom kicked him out for dragging the Mega Man franchise through the mud. It raised over $4,000,000, and after years of delays has finally been released for PCs and consoles. Some fanboys were so excited they donated ten fucking thousand dollars out of their child's college fund, which leads one to wonder why manchildren are allowed to play with money. The $10,000 Kickstarter pledge reward gives Inafune the honor of eating dinner with these undoubtedly handsome and cultured gentlemen.
For all their trouble, the funders got in exchange a shitty ripoff that was temporarily taken over by a feminazi whore who only got a job there by fucking someone, and who quickly tried to change the main character into her own self-insert, banned paying members from getting updates and told them to fuck themselves if they want their money back (they got it back anyway).
It was released in Japan and North America on June 21, 2016, (Europe and other Third World countries got three extra days to cancel their purchase), to a glowing 50% - 60% score (depending on platform) on Metacritic with "mediocre" and "lackluster" being the most common adjectives used to describe it.
By taking his idea to Kickstarter, Keiji ensured that he would not have to seek traditional investors that would make selfish demands such as a cut of the profits. Instead, he took it to the Internet, where he could instead call the investors "donators" and repay them with stickers, fanart, a super speshul forum, and assigning them with their very own numbers. You read that right. The pledge reward is a glorified DMV ticket. Inafune is clearly attempting to ascend himself to the highest pantheon of all Jewdom.
- $5 - Keiji and his girlfriend Dina will present you with your DMV ticket.
- $20 - Dina will check your privilege.
- $40 - A game manual so you may check your privilege without Dina's help.
- $120 - A printed copy of Dina's DeviantArt page.
- $250 - Personalized privilege check by Dina herself.
- $500 - Help design a level map other than the kitchen.
- $10000 - Keiji and Dina will laugh at your broke ass over dinner.
- $2,000,000 - Dina will shove a Wiimote controller into Keiji's anus.
- $3,000,000 - Dina will shove a Wii U controller into Keiji's anus.
- $4,000,000 - Dina will shove a Wii U and 6 games into Keiji's anus, then tie one end of a mile long rope of anal beads to a telephone pole, insert the rest of the length into Keiji, and then make him squat inside a tire and roll down Mt. Fuji.
Psst... it's a scam
A list of all the shit they gypped backers out of. BET THE DOCUMENTARY IS STILL BEING MADE!
Scam Round 2: Animated Series
Before anyone has actually seen the game, Inafune is already trying to milk the franchise for all the donations he can get. This time he is begging for money in order to create a television show. And much to the delight of everyone,
all episodes will be approved by resident radfem Dina.LOL NOPE
For only $100,000 you get someone's kid to do the English voice acting
For only $200,000 you get to pay an intern to do Japanese voices
Scam Round 3: Return of the Delay
If you ever wanted clear-cut proof that Inafune is a hack, who has no idea on how to make video games, look no further than how many times the abortion of a game has been delayed., yet another delay was announced, the reason being that somehow the Unreal3 engine doesn't support match-making. You would think that such an important aspect of the game would be discovered mere weeks before launch, if they actually knew what they were doing. Because they blame it on the engine they are using no longer being updated, somehow creating issues. Odd, when it didn't create matchmaking issues for games such as Battleborn, Blade & Soul, Borderlands, Gears of War, Injustice: Gods Among Us, Mortal Kombat X, XCOM 2 and many many many more. But no, the engine must just suck dicks, only explanation.
They could, of course, release the game on Steam as an updated beta, and fix the netcode later. But why bother, when they can just choose not to release the game at all?
|Beck||Mega Man||The main character of Mighty No. 9 is Beck, a recolor of Mega Man. Keiji Inafune based the character of Beck on Mega Man, who was designed by Akira Kitamura. Keiji tries to excuse this blatant theft by saying he is the creator of Mega Man, despite the character's design existing before he joined Capcom. His only true claim to fame in the series is creating the character of Zero, and fetching Kitamura's slippers.
The character was later changed by his girlfriend to herself as a tranny dressed as Mega Man.
|Gregory Graham||Count Zap||Totally not the villain of the game. Very original character, that is exactly like Count Zap from the Battle Network games. Except this one wears a dark blue jacket instead of an olive green one.|
|Dr. Sanda||Dr. Light/Dr. Cossack||Morbidly obese ripoff of Dr. Cossack, served by an army of underage loli androids. They made him the creator of Call (totally not Roll) so that incest will be avoided.|
|Call||Roll||Boring bitch, and ripoff of Roll. Supposedly the love interest of Beck, but she is also said to have no emotions. Expect to see many r34 libraries with this slut. All they did was to change two letters of the name.|
|Will White||Dr. Light||The game's rip off of Dr. Light. They just got straight up lazy when ripping off the characters at this point. They didn't even bother to come up with original names, instead they just rhymed Light with White and called it a day.|
|Ray-chel||Zero||2edgy4u genderswapped Zero, constantly angry and flustered.|
|Dr. Blackwell||Dr. Wily|
|Trinity||Mother ELF/Sigma Virus|
The game was built on the Unreal Engine 3, so everyone was expecting lots of cell shading, copious amounts of lens flare, and it looking like a side scrolling Guilty Gear Xrd (as you'll soon read, they weren't far off base).
Beta testers reported that it was shit.
The only trailer more disliked than the Fembusters one. The fire effects look like low-polygon version of pizza. The announcer is an annoying 90's guy. The gameplay looks straight from one of the early Xbox 360 games from Xbox Live Arcade, that was shit out by in three months by people who also had to take care of their regular jobs.
So bad it got mocked by Sonic's official Twitter
Feminists take over
A massive shitstorm ensued after Keiji hired a loud-mouthed feminist Dina Abou Karam, who had been spamming the forums with gender equality fanart (that, unsurprisingly, looked exactly like her), to lead both the community development and character design for the game. This did not sit well with the fedora army that populated the boards, and they expressed their dismay by smearing Cheetos and belligerent ranting across the tubes.
Dina and her team of white knights responded in the most professional way possible, by editing the hate and pretending it never happened. Clearly the cis scum did not understand the importance of strong, sexy gynoids who don't need no man.
After Dina was hired as Comcept's community manager the Mighty No. 9 forums went up in flames. What can only be described as a shit supercell of arguments from the MN9 forums to /v/ about Dina's feminist views affecting development, her immeasurable incompetence as a community manager and human being in general, and her admission to not having an inkling of interest in the Mega Man series factoring into her position. With her practically owning the forums, dissenters were silenced and threads were locked left and right for so much as suggesting Dina couldn't do her fucking job, which she couldn't. Dina just kept on demonstrating her stupidity, inability to relate to the community, and abuse of her position. The fan rage was so massive that a large amount of donations were refunded, estimated to be in the tens or possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars. Fans of the project were continuing to catch wind of the incident after the fact, and donations continue to be withdrawn as the hurricane of disappoint, butthurt and drama showed no signs of slowing down.
Wait, how did she even get the fucking job?
Since Dina has no skills, doesn't play or care about Mega Man or, in fact, any video games at all, many have asked: "Why the fuck is that cunt even working there?". Well, the answer to that may (not) surprise you.
According to her own Facebook posts, "The only reason [she] got the job is because her BF works on the project".
After everyone gave her shit about it she changed her story, saying that "BF" stood for "Best Friend". However, even though speculation as to who this person is has not reached an answer, everyone is sure that just like Anita, Zoe Quinn and m00t's new girlfriend, the only reason she got ahead in anything is by sleeping with someone.
Getting involved in GamerGate
About a month after GamerGate started, Dina came to the rescue of her friend Zoe Quinn and decided to ban anyone who mention GamerGate. This included people who had actually donated money to her shitty game, which is funny because access to the forum was one of the prizes from donating in the first place. When the patrons complained, she told them to fuck off and called them misogynist nerds, believing there is nothing they can do about it.
She thought that if she doesn't give them a refund, there is no way they can get their money back. What she didn't know was that, while KickStarter and Paypal would help her steal from people, actual banks would not. All people had to do to get their money back was simply cancel the charge on their credit card.
lol she got fired
Long after it was already too late, Dina announced that she was quitting. Throughout the day she spammed her twitter with frantic accusations and dubious denials, claiming she quit (she was probably made to resign), blaming GamerGate, denying they had anything to do with it, telling them not to buy the game (she's still costing Mighty No. 9 money even after they booted her), trying to minimize the damage they did by taking their money back and making insane claims to have laid a trap for them somewhere on twitter.
Her forced act of arrogance and superiority was quickly called out for its apparent fakeness, visible through the cracks caused to it by the bizarre frenzy with which she was putting it on, as well as the fact that, no matter how she tries to play it off, she still got shitcanned.
Dina later went on to announce she's quitting the industry. The official reasons for her resigning/ragequitting/getting fired are unclear, but the reasons for her having ZERO business being a community manager in the first place are well detailed in this excellent article by TechRaptor, which explains how a community manager is supposed to ensure healthy relations between the fans and developers rather than create hostility between them, which is exactly what Dina did.
The big day
As expected, it sucked. People correctly pointed out that the graphics were PS2-era, the controls were clunky and the game could be completed in 3-5 hours, so it was completely worth the $4 million on Kickstarter. Despite having graphics that were out of date ten years ago, the frame rate still suffers on all platforms. Yes, you can expect 10 fps in a game that looks like it came out of a toaster. The load times are abysmal going up to almost a minute. And you can shoot in one direction, whereas enemies can shoot in any direction they please.
Insanely, the developers believed this was going to be a big hit with its own cartoon series and a sequel, despite the fact that the amount of times it has been pushed back has almost become a meme, and that they managed to alienate the most hardcore Mega Man fan. Even the largely corrupt game review websites couldn't say this was a good game, most giving it a 5/10, 3 points for being like an anime fan on prom night, and the other 2 for the two pizzas they got bribed by.
And this game is somehow more expensive than the Mega Man Legacy Collection.
So in summary
Inafune lying about DLC
On a Twitch livestream, Inafune said the now infamous words "It's Better Than Nothing". But not before lying right out of his rice-infested teeth.
Yes, Inafune the conman actually lied straight into your face, like it was no big deal.
- Dear Cis People
- Mega Man
- Social Justice
- Video Games
- Yooka-Laylee - 2017's Mighty No. 9.
Mighty Number 9 is part of a series on
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.
Mighty Number 9 is part of a series on
Visit the Social Justice Portal for complete coverage.
|Featured article June 25 & 26, 2016|
|Mighty Number 9||Succeeded by|
|Featured article October 12 & 13, 2014|
|Mighty Number 9||Succeeded by|
|Featured article December 20 & 21, 2013|
|Mighty Number 9||Succeeded by|