|Hey!||This article isn't lulz just yet, but its coverage can spark a lollercoaster.
You can help by people who delete shit, and vandalizing their user pages.
See this article on Google? Want to add something?
|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
MDetector5 on DevianTART (the "M" stands for Menstrual) also known as and Jerome Ayers is a, autistic 28 year old self-proclaimed extremely popular and TALENTED artist from Indiana. But in the real world, he's the biggest loser in existence; you can find him in the deep depths of his mother's basement harassing female deviants (sometimes males) and fapping to Quinn porn. He is a wannabe DeviantART admin and HOLY SHIT! He thinks he's THE SHIT! While this doesn't actually make him any different from any of the other failures who make up DevianTART, the devil is — as so often — in the details.
The answer to why they pay him is simple really: He threatens he will continue drawing if they don't give him money. Even when he's paid in hundreds of dollars - for sheer mercy - he still continues. What a sick fuck.
His hobbies include: spreading AIDs to everything he touches, walking, harassing many people to draw his character Bee Bryant raping your female characters, telling people about his Asperger's and saying he's not like Chris-Chan, whining for people to buy him crap, begging superior artists for art trades (then getting butthurt even when they politely turn him down) and acting like an overall flaming douchebag. He says he does a lot of things to grow his e-penor, but really he just has sex with himself. He continues this crap because he has no penis clogging his asshole to stop his shit from happening.
BUY ME A TABLET, PLZ
Not happy with being a welfare leeching nigger IRL, MDetector5 decided to whine to DeviantART for his fellow tartlets to give him money for a tablet. He wanted to do moar digital 'art' of Bee expanding someone's breasts to take up the page and using her lipticks and OMG super powers to turn them into chairs and sex toys. Whatever keeps the page hits rolling in and the fanboys wanking, amirite? He's somehow under the notion that digital art will improve his craptastic 'art'. He's sadly mistaken. He hid the evidence because many called him out for being a fucktard and MDetector5 hates it when others know the truth. The screencap of the journal is here, so all can see him for what he really is. Many have recommended he should get a job, but MDetector5 is quite content being a basement dweller and a moocher. However, he would sooner deal drugs or be a whore than get a real job. Is he fucking serious? Plz, screencap any lulz worthy comments and journals before MD deletes the journals, blocks you and hides your comments.
He wants you to donate your money to him or he'll deal drugs!!! BAWWWWLEETED!!!
—MD makes excuses for not getting a job
—How is it free if people are donating for it? Wouldn’t it be better to draw for money rather than bum for donations?
—Pity line to get donations, ftw
—Some may have their doubts, but MD is 28 years old
—MDetector5 using more pity lines so he won't have to get a job. Lazy fat fucker.
—MDetector5 wants you to donate your money to him, or he'll become an hero.
—MDetector5 wants to raise money for Mountain Dew.
—MD's other alternatives to getting a real job.
—MDetector5 really needed the money for Mountain Dew and to commission tartlets to draw Quinn porn. VERY PROFESSIONAL BUSINESS HE'S RUNNING!
—Should we tell him to get a job? No. He’ll say he’s got no time for that.
—MDetector5 wants his fanbase to donate money to him because getting a real job is out of the question. He's too busy with his DeviantART life to get one. He needs money for Mountain Dew.
It is a well-known fact that MDefective5 loves to get asspats and generic compliments! He will stoop to any low to get someone who claims to hate him, to lick his ass clean. He claims to have changed and doesn't want this kind of attention anymore, but that is proven all wrong with his hugbox polls! Please note, this is not an attempt to have his asskissers reassure him that his wonderful art is perfect and he doesn't need to improve it! He made a similar poll like the one before!  And another asking his asslickers if they think they improved their art  and it's NOT about him at all! He says so himself! Yet another hugbox poll where he asks if people find his characters shitty. MD thinks his loyal friends and true don't see the true meaning behind these polls. LOL But, please be sure to leave MDefective5 some asspats and generic compliments! He may say he wants the truth, but those who have dared received the banhammer. Thus, proving that MD wants only asspats. You're not fooling anyone, MDefective5. But, nice try.
It is a known fact that MDetector5 loves to harass many tartlets much more talented than he to draw his titty-expanding Bee porn or Bee and Diane bondage. But one day he decided to go too far and harass a sick girl for a fucking trade. Others attacked him because he's a whiny attention whore and doesn't know when to back off. MDetector5, thinking he's a God, defended his retarded failure to the death.
... Over and over and over. What a masochist. He harassed another tartlet because they blocked him and MDetector5 wants everyone to love him and kiss his ass. He was banned several times for harassing people to draw porn of his shitty characters but the admins always let him back because the secret is he sucks their dicks.
He made a TL;DR comment which got him banned for the first time and another comment made by his sockpuppet, which lead to another banhammer. On artists_beware MDetector5 made a journal telling people to beware of him. He said his art was crap, but when others pointed out that it does indeed suck monkey balls, MDetector5 BAWWWWed and attacked his haters with kiddy grade insults.
The place where it all happened. He was pwned again on artists_beware! Behold! Witness his faggotry. He makes blogs all the time that he won't do again, but that was proven to be false. He should really have a nice cup of shut the fuck up.
—MDetector5 apoligizes for being an ass by being moar of an ass.
—MDetector5 deluding himself.
—Yeah, that's why you still harass and BAWWW, right?
—MDetector's deluding himself that he improved and forcing someone to give him asspats.
On June 26th, 2008 all went too far in MDetector5-land and he snapped at all the critique tartlets gave him. He pretended to want to improve for the better to get his haterz off his case. He failed. After moar haterz attacked the most talented artist on DA he made a butthurt whining journal stating he was never taking trades again. Instead of letting it be and accepting that his art does indeed suck monkey balls, he had to put a 15 minute halt to his daily activities of drinking Mountain Dew, drawing moar copypasta'd BE crayon art, and harassing someone to draw his manly slut Bee to make this tearful journal of how mean his haters were about his art. He doesn't want his virtual hugbox to give him asspats and tell him his shit is the best no matter what! Now he wants
donations commissions for a subscription! Oh great. MDetector5 is now flagging all the critique he's received as spam because he loves critique. Even though he said "Um... enjoy, and critique."!
—MDetector5 replies to critique the usual way.
—MD blames his subpar work on others and makes an excuse for getting riled up over critique.
—MDetector5 reassures to his hugbox that his BAWWWWing journal isn't a cry for attention or asspats.
MDetector5 replies to critique the usual way...
MDetector5 hates being blocked by other members of DeviantART because that means the worst has happened: SOMEONE HATES HIM AND WON'T LICK HIS ASS! OH NOES.
This is a terrible thing to happen to MDetector5 because he believes everyone should bow down and worship him for the talented artist he is! No one dares to block such a creative genius as he! But to prove his haters wrong, he made a journal saying he would get over being blocked, but that was proven to be a lie. He wasted the journal because fellow tartlets called him out for being a lying douchebag. HOWEVER, MDetector5 insists to his
asslickers Loyal Friends and True, that it doesn't bother him if someone has an issue with him. Of course he kept his word. Please note after reading this, MDetector5 is not a stalker or depraved and has improved for the better.
MD will accept the fact he's blocked and move on...
MD Poses as a MILF!
On Sepetember 22nd, MDefective5 made yet another journal admitting that he posed as an implanted Japanese Gravure Idol.  He claims at first he did it soley for RP purposes and stopped because his fanboys were fapping too much. The truth is, he started it up to get his fanwankers fapping and stopped because he was found out and busted. He told his kingdom of asslickers he wouldn't do it again, but he did it again anyway. Only this time it's more original! She's a MILF! He started it up to get the e-fame he once had back. Now more hate him. MDefective5 doesn't know this, but he loves to shoot himself in the foot and often at that.
BAWWWWWWWWW!! WRY WON'T ANYONE UNBLOCK ME NAO?!
MDefective5 made ANOTHER journal two days later whining that he apologized for pretending to be a MILF with implants and no one will lick his ass like they had.  In MDetector5land, all should be forgiven, but not in the real world! MD loves to boast about how he doesn't want asspats or people to worship his shitastic art, but makes journals whining that everyone won't give him asspats or worship his shitastic art. MDefective5 isn't too good at covering up what's going on in his fucked up head, is he?
MDetector5 vs. A-l-e-x-99
Alex Discovers How Much MD Fails at Life
On May 25th, 2008, a fellow tartlet named A-l-e-x-99 discovered MDetector5 for what he really is and created a TL;DR journal about how much MD fails at life.  He and MDetector5 had actually been friends up to that point, but when A-l-e-x-99 discovered this article, he blocked MDetector5 and wrote a journal that debunked all of MD5's lies very thoroughly. Alex even compared MDetector to Snapesnogger!
MDetector5 responded with a TL;DR lulzy comment that he doesn't harass anymore...thing is, the comment itself is harassment. MDetector5 hates being blocked and compared to Snapesnogger because in his delicate fragile mind, he's not like that and has improved for the better (PROTIP: He hasn't). A loyal friend and true of MDetector5's reported to Anonymous that he plans to make several sockpuppet accounts pretending to be teenage Japanese magical school girls to convince this guy to unblock MDetector5 and worship him for the talented artist he is. OH SHI-- WE GAVE HIS PLAN AWAY!!! But that won't stop him on his QUEST FOR IMPROVEMENT!
MDetector5 Banhammers the Haterz
On June 3rd, 2008, A-l-e-x-99 received the banhammer for speaking his mind about MDetector5 in his journal.  Up to that point, A-l-e-x-99 had been well known for writing journals targeting certain sensitive tartlets, but when he made one targeted at the Self-Proclaimed King of Popularity and Art God, MDetector5 reported him to the admins. The irony is MD whined that this guy was harassing him, even though MD harasses all the time and made a TL;DR comment for A-l-e-x-99 to unblock him. Sources say MD continues to whine to his loyal friends and true that this guy deserved the banhammer for writing awful things about such a talented artist as he. Plz give MDetector5 less of the cold harsh truth and moar asspats and donations. If not, you'll receive the banhammer and MDetector5 will deal drugs...
ZOMG A-L-E-X-99 STRIKES BACK ON LIVEJOURNAL!!!
Clearly pissed off at having been permabanned, A-l-e-x-99 registered a LiveJournal and wrote an even more TL;DR journal entry about the evil that is MDetector5. Since he will at some point in time be banned for this too, and since the journal will likely be BALEETED by the admins when this happens, we have preserved it. Some of the highlights follow:
This goes on and on, but in summary:
- A-l-e-x-99 believes he got wrongly b& from DevianTart
- MDetector5 continued to watch Alex long after his welcome was worn out, which further proves that he is a stalker
- RealitySquared claims to have banned Alex because of "threatening statements made in journal", but this is a lie
- A-l-e-x-99 is taking pages out of Jark's book! LOL WUT!
- Alex really loves cheerleading...he even customized his journal around it! D:
MDetector5 has not yet responded to what we're sure he believes is a steaming pile of lies from a slanderous, coldhearted whore who threatened to blow his head off. Meaning all this crap is probably true. LOL xD
On March 22 there was an epic raid from the cast of CSI. There were many witnesses, but no trace was left.
I have a few things to say, and they have been bothering me for a long time, and once I post this journal, I won't say anything about them ever again. Though I no longer do most of the things that will be said, better they rather be said than not be said. But first... I DO NOT... lemme put that in bold, DO NOT want sympathy or asspats or cries of "DON'T SUICIDE ON US DETECTOR", and I will not respond to any comments made in this journal. First off... thanks to DA I have a big ego and am actually concerned about being loved and having pageviews. It didn't used to be that way... I just wanted to find a clean, well-lit place to show off my drawings of Bee and Lorelei and so on... I was a pretty nice person, but over time I became Mr. Mah-OC-Is-Better-Than-Your-Crapass-OC-Hurrhurr... And it got to be at the point where I was biting my tongue every time I came on here. I knew I liked people and their characters... I always liked them, but over time that love got overshadowed by Bee always trying to do crap to them and make fun of them. And in that end I pissed off a few and ruined at least one friendship I had. Sure, I have over 200K PVs, BUT AT WHAT COST?! Second, I am a trade whore and a Kiriban whore and a whore for free stuff. Anyone that has come in contact with me in some way for the last... well, ever since I became active here, should know where I am going with this. I got in trouble with a few people for not knowing when NO is NO, NO is always NO, if they say NO it means a thousand times NO... Hell, the most recent thing was with someone not on DA, and I feel so bad about doing that. Now, I do love doing trades, but I should know when to fucking quit being persistent... I mean, sometimes I manage to get a trade with people, but the way I go about asking... I'm a jackass for doing it. Same goes for free stuff. Granted, you'd probably ask when people are offering, and I'm like that all the time. Far too much all the time. I don't need to have Bee or Lorelei or sometimes Diane all over the place. Granted, it'd be cool to see Bee drawn in, say, ~wagnerf's or *14-bis's or even *LuisaRafidi's style, but asking and asking and being a general artwhoring jackass like I've been doing isn't going to help. And regarding Kiribans, I should really step the fuck back from those. Sure, it's kinda cool to try and catch it, but more often than not I'm bitching and moaning to the person about "I DIDN'T GET PAGEVIEW NUMBER 500 BAWWWWWWW", and the get blocking mad... I just don't want to catch anymore if it means whining like a baby about NOT getting them. Fuck, instead of trying to suck off other people's art teets, I should be trying to get my OWN art better... I used to say bad things about other people's art and/or characters here. I'm not naming names, but they know who they are, and I'm so sorry I ever did that. I used to say things like "I could draw better than that", "An amputee could draw better than that", "He's such an emo", "She's not tall enough", etc. etc. I also used to say things about certain countries, mainly Puerto Rico and Mexico. I was very wrong in saying those things... especially all the shit I said about Puerto Rico, and some I have talked to may very well know why. Speaking of which, there are some people that I really need to be free from. I would say "I'm not thinking about so-and-so", "So-and-so who?", "I'd rather suffer a fatal stomach injury than be around so-and-so again"... but all this time later, I still talk about the person or persons in question. And when I try to make nice with some people, oftentimes things get worse, and I find myself always on the outside looking in. Then I resort to crazy-ass things like spamming the person's comments with apologies and pleas for the person to unblock me and so on. I shouldn't care if they blocked me or not. I should just move on. It might be hard sometimes, especially if I was friends with one of them, but it might be for the best, and who knows... things might get better, though it won't be what it once was. I lie sometimes. I lied about my troubles with *yoseimurasaki. She's not this crazy bitch I keep telling people she is. She's a pretty good but no-nonsense person, and I just went too far with my behavior towards her. Though the part about me tagging her and her getting mad and blocking me was true, I knew about it beforehand and did it anyway. Again, it was me being a nonthinking jackass. Hell, if anything I should still be banned after all that I did to her... I emailed her so much with apology after apology she had to change her email. I even repurposed a page I set up for RP purposes, !BustyGirl1017, so that I could try to make nice with people that had blocked me: her, =arshesnei, and... those were the only two. I didn't want to deal with that page and what it had become anymore, so I set it up where I would get it banned on purpose. I really did have a character named Suki Davis, and I really did have a picture to use a basis prior to setting up that page, though. And she is NOT Mexican. It would've been cool if it was, but she's not. She is Asian, and it clearly shows in the reference photo for her that I used. Speaking of characters, the new one named Wendy isn't exactly new, but her design and backstory is. While it IS true I have a character named Wendy, I changed a lot of detail about her because I just couldn't get over the whole *yoseimurasaki thing... I even tried to appeal to some people by adding their name to her (uh, Wendy's) list of likes. There are some people here I have pissed off. Some of them I have made up with, some of them I haven't. They are all good people, but usually something of MY doing messes things up. And even though things may never be the same again, at least I can try to improve and try change for the better, and maybe someday things might start to be set right again. But, more often than not, the best thing to do is move on, and things might get better. I tried my best, I messed up and if things can't be fixed, move on... and maybe someday, there might be a chance that things can be fixed, though not quite the same. In fact, there's a think piece by *Wen-M about that: [link] I have been very grateful to have been here for 3-1/2 years. I have met some great people, some nice people, and saw some wonderful characters and things and drawn them as well. I did a lot of bad things, and I have never really been clear or truthful on all of the things I said or done. With this journal, I have put everything out in the open as it were and came clean with most everything. Will I make some mad with this? Yes. Will some stop speaking to me? Yes. But... you know what. I don't care. I shouldn't care, anyway. Maybe things MIGHT get better, I dunno. But I shouldn't hope for that. I hope for things too much. I just wanted to get a few things off my chest is all...
People responded by giving him some Midol.
BAWWWWWWW I'M LEAVING DA FOREVAR CAUSE NO ONE WILL LICK MAH ASS!!!
On July 21st, 2008 MD decided to make yet another tearful journal to his fanbase about how he's leaving DeviantART because no one will lick his ass or donate their money to him anymore. He removed the journal because he decided he can't leave behind all his hard earned e-fame! And what would his ass kissers do without seeing his wonderful same-pose Lorelei art? MD is a thoughtful soul. Now give him asspats before he makes another 'I'M LEAVING DA FOREVAR' journal only to delete it and never leave.
All his characters are about is sex, getting sex, getting the spotlight, expanding breasts and being magical cat girls. WHAT WELL DEVELOPED CHARACTERS. Such characters can be found in his TL;DR comic called "Noob and Jim" which is made of AIDS and fail.
- Bee is his main character, and she represents all of his repressed sexual fantasies, meaning she mainly goes around acting like a ho-bag and BE-ing people with her lipstick. She is 6'4" tall and wears a size 13 shoe. Inexplicably, her nipples are pink against brown skin.
- Lorelei is Bee's underage sister who aspires to be one day as great a skank as Bee. She’s now a MAGICAL GIRL!! Her magical girl outfit is a ripoff of Kittyko's.
(baleeted) Of course putting on her magical girl costume her breasts enlarge and lactate. Truly not a character he created to climax to!
- Jimmy is his self-insert. He's a nerd and stupid dork who gets lots of sex and hot chicks precisely because MD doesn't.
- Diane she's a blonde bimbo who's Brazilian and just wanted to impress the cheerleaders in high school. SHE WORKS AT THE IODINE FACTORY. MD has a peculiar fancy for Brazilians.
- Noob looks like Jimmy with no glasses. He gets chainsaws embedded in his skull and is supposed to be funny.
- Quinn Morgendorffer is a character from Daria whom he appropriated for his own uses. MDetector5 once had his Mary Sue dating her because he likes to think of Quinn as his girlfriend.
- Britney is a ripoff of Brittany Taylor from Daria.
- Jennie no one gives a fuck about her.
Poses and Situations He Draws (an Attempted Exhaustive List)
- Standing with one arm on her hip and the other arm at her side
- Standing with hands behind head
- Seated, leaning on arm
- As an angel
- As a devil
- As a cheerleader
- Sucking sloppily on a popsicle
- BE'd due to lipstick
- Genderswapped due to lipstick
One of the interesting aspects of MDetector5's characterizations is how he depicts people of different nationalities. In MDetector5land, all Canadians eat at Tim Hortons, and all Mexicans are dirty stinking beaners.
Most curious of all is his fascination with Samoans. Bee is Samoan, and he's been known to go on about them in his journals and comics. It was originally thought that he had some connection with them, like being Samoan or half-Samoan, and that he was expressing some sort of ethnic pride -- but then why are Samoans presented as a cardboard caricature of ethnicity, just like with the Mexicans and Canadians and other dirty foreigners? The truth, we shall see, is far more banal, as it all centers on his fascination with The Price is Right.
Like a lot of game shows, TPIR is like crack to asspies and MDetector5 follows it religiously. 100 years ago, Bob Barker was confronted with a rash of fat Samoan women with poor impulse control who appeared as contestants. In their exuberance they would run up to Barker, glomp him and sometimes lift him off the floor. The incident with the Samoans became a source of epic lulz amongst TPIR fans. MDetector5, being an arrant attention whore, referenced the phenomenon by making some of his primary characters Samoan for no reason. And here you thought Daveykins dropped nerdy obscure references.
It is a well known fact that MDefective5 loves Quinn from Daria and once included her in his comics as Jimmy's girlfriend. Please note that Jimmy is in no way MDetector5 himself. He wrote Quinn out because his haters called him out for making her incredibly out of character (as he does to everyone else's characters, including his own), therefore drew a TL;DR comic of
MDetector5 Jimmy BAWWWWWWing over Quinn's leave. Sometime in February of 2007, he harassed yet another artist on the Pal Comix forums to draw his character Bee fucking Quinn. MDefective5 is a 27 year old loser who faps to Quinn porn and busty Daria comics while his mommy gives him an allowance. DEFINITELY NOT MADE OF EPIC FAIL!
Gallery of Quinn Fapping Fail
Keep dreaming, 28 year old virgin.
GALLERY OF FAIL
INSIPID ART AND OVERUSED POSES STRAIGHT AHEAD! MAY CAUSE BLINDNESS!
GALLERY OF WIN
Laying down the Banhammer!
On October 9th, 2008, MDefective5 received the banhammer for harassing fellow tartlet, Speedyhimura to unblock his lazy and unemployed ass. All that backfired when Speedy reported him, and now MDetector5 wants his revenge because no one dares to ban such a talented and creative genius as he! It's funny how MD can ban all who dare to oppose him, but no one dares to ban him. Give MD some donations and asspats and reassure him that his shitastic art is the best to hit this Earth and he didn't deserve his banhammer.
—MDetector5 will see to it his ban his lifted no matter the cost!
—MDetector5 on SpeedyHimura. He hates all who put him in his place. He is so damn awesome.
How to Get Popular the MDetector5 Way
- Get a DeviantART account, fave every deviation and leave the same "SUPER NICE" comment on all of them.
- Harass tartlets for trades and requests so that they block you, and you harass them to unblock getting yourself banned a few times. Don't forget to suck the admin's cock to get your bans lifted.
- Upload your insipid breast expansion same-pose crayon scribbles and your unfunny TL;DR comics.
- Do not permit negativity! Whine to the admins to put the banhammer down on anyone who doesn't like your art or won't give you the asspats you deserve!
Be sure to follow these simple steps and you'll have over 200, 000 hits in no time! Along these steps, be sure to ask your fellow tartlets to donate money to you or buy you a tablet since you'll be too busy with your DeviantART life to get a real job.
—MDetector5 should really stop drawing and tourmenting everyone.
—MDetector5 whines about people telling him to improve.
—A lie from MDetector5
—MDetector5 thinks if he watches you, you are BEST FRIENDS FOREVAH!
—MDetector5 is an internet tough guy
—Whatnot-ola…? This word has now been added to the dictionary of MDetector5 fail
—"Jealous Jean"...? MD fails at being clever and witty.
—MDetector5 wants you to visit his page and possibly donate YOUR COLD HARD cash to him.
—MDetector5 begs someone to commission him.
—MD pointing out the obvious.
—MD explaining Lorelei's rip-off magical girl outfit; the part about the chest getting bigger explains the whole point of this clichéd outfit: To get MD wanking and don’t forget the pagehits.
—MD thinks by making Lorelei a magical girl (a cliché that's really overdone) will make his stories more interesting and better. He failed.
—MDetector5 deludes himself he could've done better.
—MDetector5 thinks when people tell him to improve it means ‘change your style’. MD claims he was forced to improve, too.
—MDetector5 straw mans his critics because no one dares to tell him his ‘fantastic’ art isn’t any good!
Support the Troops
A-l-e-x-99 would like you to support him with this stamp:
- Basement dweller
- Delete fucking everything
- Forever Alone
- Shameless self promotion
- Unrealistic Expectations
- Unwarranted Self Importance
- MDfive-Art on DeviantArt DeviantArt page.
- NekoAngel1981 on DevianTART his new ban evasion
- MDetector5 on Furaffinity The realm of his extremely sub-par porn.
- His Patreon page. Be sure to give him lots of moneys!!
- His Facebook page
- MDetector5's Livejournal
- Some shitty blog where he posts EXCITING information on his one dimensional characters.
- MDetector5 at Gaia Online His favorite hobby is walking.
- AYERS-ERS on DevianTART a
satirical clubfan club dedicated to him.
- His SheezyArt Discovered by looking at Neomorphasis' profile comments.
- Tits-n-Ass-of-DA His dA group, in which he's founder. Everything in here is his fapfodder, no doubt
MDetector5 is part of a series on
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