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Lord of the Rings

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Wil Wheaton
Elijah Wood as Frodo (publicity shot)

The Lord of the Rings is a series of three popular films that were later adapted into shitty books.

Saruman did it for the lulz.

A short synopsis of the films.

The Books

Gandalf on the supervillain: "He's seeking it. He's seeking it and all his thought is bent on it."
A typical reaction upon first reading the Lord of the Rings.

J.R.R. Tolkien wrote the set of novels after having a bad acid trip as well as fapping over C.S Lewis's foot while being sodomized by a dwarf named Danny Devito. So inspired by his stupor, he cobbled together his drunken dreamings into tl;dr writings about a black person called Dildo Faggins, his cockring and an incestuous relationship with his nephew that would be ripped off by every fantasy work for the rest of time. J.R.R. Tolkien obviously copied Lord of The Rings from 3 places using his super tight Mage skills that he got after getting to level 80, because they were written about 10-50 years later.Harry Potter, Lord of the Flies <--dude, couldn't he think of a better name? and Clueless. Don't you think Dumbledore was like Gandalf, and Dildo looked like Alicia Silverstone at the beginning of the film?

The Movies

Lord of the Goatse

Peter Jackson made Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings Trilogy into a series of movies that were released over a period of three years. The movies were filmed on some forgotten former colony, made truck loads of money, won a whole bunch of Oscars, and gave nerds, geeks and the "LotR" fandom something with which to be infatuated for a few months. While the Trilogy was fairly popular among mundanes, it swept through geek and nerd culture like a forest fire, bolstering the books' already-strong fandom. Thanks to Jackson, Lord of the Rings fandom is now one of the largest and most prevalent fandoms in the world, despite the franchise being total shit. Each movie is over 9000 hours long and are just a series of clever angles on two 4 ft. tall fucknuggets walking to a mountain or a group of fags, lead by the white jizzard, always walking to like 50 different castles. All LoTR is is walking. Everywhere, walking, all the time. Even the trees walk in the movies. The original ending to The Return of The King was a Sam-Fagdo suckfest and just before the credits roll, Fagdo just flat out bricks in Sam's mouth.

Mordor is an evil place crowded with gay orcs who want to please you.
Theoden, King of Rohan, is shocked and appalled.

Tom Bombadil

Wikia always speaks the truth.
One of the seven dwarfs, panning for gold

The worst character ever designed in the history of basement dwelling fantasy. A 13-year old DM could come up with something more interesting. Tolkien invented him because he was butthurt about technology and industrialization, making him a fucking hypocrite for living indoors most of his life. THREE FUCKING CHAPTERS are devoted to this nigger and you could seriously just skip all of them and not miss any story(but you would miss some really homo songs). When that disgusting neckbeard Peter Jackson took him out of the movies, nobody cared.

"LotR" Fandom

Gandalf is mage-class and didn't even learn basic magics like fireball...

Lord of the Rings fandom is rivaled only by Buffy fandom in terms of size. The Internets are riddled with communities and websites dedicated to the books and movies. "Ringers," as individual fans refer to themselves, are notorious writers of "LotR"-based fanfic and slashfic, and they similarly never seem to get tired of making LJ icons based on scenes from the movies.

Unlike many other fandoms, Lord of the Rings fandom boasts a sizable population of women. Female fans tend to be fangirls who are obsessed with the effeminate elven character named "Legolas", probably because he seems like the type of guy who enjoys cuddling, long walks in the woods and so forth. Because of Orlando Bloom, Legolas is also absurdly popular EVERY teenage GIRL EVER! As they find him to be "safe" (i.e., gay), and thus they can posture all they want without having to worry about putting out.

Cosplay is also a fairly popular activity among "Ringers", who seem to enjoy dressing up like their favorite characters because, while the Lord of the Rings characters are themselves attractive and adventurous, most fans are decidedly not. On-line examples of this behavior are rife, with some good examples being found at Stanford and other excellent universities.

"Every name spelled wrong in Rings, a mini-Balrog gets its wings." (Source: The Official Fanfic University of Middle-Earth)

George Lucas does LotR

Apparently, Hollywood's #2 genius almost directed the trilogy. Here's an excerpt from a documentary about this great loss:


J.R.R Tolkien finally graduating from high school.

Hey guys. Lucas is a genius. Let me tell you, Lord of teh rings sucked and would have been better had Lucas directed it!


that is absolute bullshit. cleasrly ur small mind cant bring u to understand the magnitude and beauty of Lord of the Rings.


Seriously, if George Lucas did use puppets for episodes 1,2, and 3 you would of ctiticized him for that! What's wrong with episode 1,2, and 3? Nothing. I'm a Star Wars Geek, and TRUE fans don't give a crap about the newest episodes. You guys r idiots.


Uh...if Lucas hadn't made the innovations he did during the 70s and 80s, LOTR wouldn't exist in it's current state. Douche


Hayden was perfect as "evil" Anakin


What's that movie about the gay guys on the mountain? Oh yeah! Lord of the Rings!




Gandalf was always a pedo

Viggo likes to think he's comical

Lol, 34



Based upon the original OFU's guardians, mini-Balrogs are small versions of the Lord of the Rings's demon Balrog who are partial to bacon, raw eggs, and fangirls. Their names come from misspellings of characters' names or places, so that every similar misspelling is referred to as a mini. Other fandoms use mini-acromantulas (Harry Potter), monkeys (Pirates of the Caribbean), or mini-luggages (Discworld), but the term mini-Balrog can typically be applied to any fandom.

The cast members playing a game of Truth or Dare.
The Lord of the Rings movie


See Also

Inspiration for characters were taken from video games.

External Links

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