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BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
Ever wondered what would happen if you took the FCTC, stripped them of all the pedestrian accomplishment of phishing various YouTube furries, added Chris chan and a shitload of unwarranted self importance?
Legi0n is such an abomination. The end result of what happens when harmless newfaggotry boils over into fullblown delusion, Legi0n has provided countless examples of delicious drama and what happens when a group of children tease a retard and confuse it with hardcore Anonymous business.
In the time that Christian Weston Chandler has graced the internet with tales of autastic adventure, many an aspiring troll have tried to capatalize on the seemingly endless source of lulz that stood to be gained at the manchild's expense. Some of them incredible, some of them mundane. But as with all good things, it came to an end. As with any decent lolcow, soon the less talented amount the various corners of the internet to get their time to shine, and before you know it, the once tranquil waters had been pissed in by everyone within earshot of JULAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. The dream had died, and Chris chan was left to stew in his filth. The "trolling" had yet to cease, however. Far from it, as every furfag, weeaboo and /b/tard that witnessed the beast in action attempted to get in on the action to prove to the internet that they too could produce the lulz so long as the target was an honest to God retard.
One of these budding pioneers was a young Mark Ortiz, who stumbled across Chris chan towards the end of 2008. Deciding that Chris was the funniest fucking thing he had ever seen, Krause headed over to the Krapple Komputer Kompany, a service which allowed anyone to create a customized imageboard and be admin of the sole board. He created /cwc/, and the boards popularity soared, becoming the most popular board on KKK. It was around this time that he adopted the name "KrappleGuy". Enjoying his newfound popularity, Krappleguy advertised Chris chan to the unwashed masses and rubbed elbows with the various seasoned CWC trolls.
As fate would have it, KKK closed its doors, leaving Krappleguy without his board. Somehow stumbling across 789chan, krapple convinced that chan's admins to host Legi0n, a full imageboard for /cwc/ and various other boards.
The crowning jewel and most popular board by far, /cwc/ is where the action is. Championing itself as the place where intelligent CWC enthusiasts gather, /cwc/ is exactly what's to be expected. Hundreds of asspies gather round and partake in everything from troll operations and armchair psychology on Chris chan. /cwc/ continued to build its legend and only proceeded to grow in traffic and popularity as a, but still not quite the, top source in Chris chan and Chris chan accessories.
Luck would strike in the form of a malnourished mall goth when Krappleguy made the acquaintance of Ickeriss69, who had previously made himself known in the CWC community for being an epic troll by coming into the possession of Chris' infamous Sonichu medallions and destroying them on camera. Around this time, however, Ickeriss was in something of a rut; specifically, those pictures of his pale, crooked dick had been circulating around YouTube along with him sobbing uncontrollably to an ex-(internet)girlfriend YouTube troll. Ashamed and humiliated, Icky had been in the midst of a speedy internet retreat, blocking trolls and flagging evidence of just what kind of super badass Anon he actually was by the time Krapple had crossed his path. Krapple, however, held a different opinion; Krapple saw a man who had become a legend in the world of Professional CWC trolling. Seeing a chance to add a trolling celebrity to his staff, he immediately begged Ickeriss to come on board. Icky, realizing that there was an entire base of people that had yet to discover what a twink he actually was, leaped at the opportunity, and flung himself into Legi0ns operations headfirst, establishing himself as a valuable commodity to the group, becoming its de facto figurehead in the process. Icky's involvement brought a new wave of popularity to /cwc/ and Legi0n, but knowing full well anyone that could Google would eventually stumble across his less than flattering past, Ickeriss had changed his alias to Medic, word-filtered "Ickeriss" off of /cwc/, and does everything in his power to maintain his faggot cult of personality he has cultivated; most of which banning people that upset him personally and claiming he's doing it for the benefit of the board.
As of August 13, 2010, Icky was summarily ousted from legi0n. On his way out the door, he threatened to take all the other members with him, but unfortunately for him, nobody else wanted to go. They were all sick of his shit.
—Ickeriss is clearly not upset.
Typical Krapplefag Discussion
- "Guys, WHY DON'T WE JUST GET A HOOKER FOR CHRIS?"
- "Mods are faggots."
- "OMG I have secret info/live in Ruckersville for real you guys"
- "THE FIELD AGENTS SUCK ASS"
- "BLUESPIKE WENT TOO FAR"
- "BLUESPIKE WAS A GENIUS AND I MISS THAT LITTLE GUY"
- "The Field Agents STILL suck ass"
- "KACEY SUCKS ASS"
- "JACK THADDEUS SUCKS ASS"
- "THIS BOARD SUCKS ASS"
- "What if Chris derp de derpity derp?"
- "I made a "fancharacter", do you think it'll piss him off?"
- "Dig up Patty!"
- "HI A-LOG!"
- "Let's hire a tranny hooker to dig up Patti's corpse while yelling JULAAAAAYYYYY! And then we roll him into a carpet and throw him off a bridge!"
- "DO YOU GUISE REALLY HATE PPL W/ AUTISM & ASPERGERS?"
- "DDoS 'X'"
- "DOWN WITH THE ELITISTS!!!1"
- "This attractive women found Chris on a dating website, approached him with prior knowledge of seemingly every major problem of his life, and has convinced him to record himself doing and saying incredibly outlandish shit for some uneplained reason. I think this person might in fact be a troll!.
- "Uhh.. I was just playing before. I wasn't really a complete idiot and assumed a hot, naked teenage woman would be interested in a fat retard that shits himself. That was uh...trolling! Yeah, i was just trolling!".
- >>implying derpitty derp derp derpa doo
Typical /cwc/ Mod Responses
- "u mad?"
- "BUTTHURT BUTTHURT BUTTHURT"
- "Great idea, you should get a tranny to dig up Patti next."
- "I TROLL U"
- "cool story bro"
- "(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)"
- "Fuck off (insert user name of a banned namefag)."
- "OP sucks"
Notable Legi0n Feuds
The actual number 1 source for Chris chan related information, Legi0n had always maintained an uneasy relationship with the CWCki, a Chris-Chan centric wiki. That there was a better known hub of retard stalking just didn't sit well with Legi0n, especially ones that allowed furfag contributors, and so members of Legi0n decided that they would head on over to CWCki and rape the user pages of said editors. While this would normally constitute a win, it was done out of genuine spite that there was a bigger Chandler site than /cwc/, and as such amounted to little more than a dick measuring contest (though given Medics frequency to whip out his ghost white wanker at the drop of a hat, this should come as a surprise to nobody). Thus, Medic and various other Legi0n officials decided that a raid was in order.
Except for the fact that nobody supported them. In a shocking display, most of the boards traffic decided that the idea of a turf war over the exclusive rights to teasing a retard wasn't necessarily the most lucrative of operations, and promptly told Legi0n staff that this was an ill fated and unnecessary venture that would only serve to distract from the boards main goal of autistic analysis. Medic proceeded to ban every member of the board to tell him just what a dumb cunt he actually was, all the while accusing the CWCki and it's Admins of USI.
This was done for about a week before Legi0n pulled their heads out of their collective assholes and realized that insulting and banning most of their users might, in fact, not be the best way to keep traffic flowing to the site, and immediately halted the mass banning. The "official" reason for the bans was a "purge thread", i.e. /cwc/ was trimming it's fat and getting rid of unsavory elements.
It still remains to be seen what exactly was gained from making it "just look like" they attempted to initiate an e-war and rage-banned people who called them out on their butthurt, besides looking like they're all completely full of shit, but yeah, it all went according to plan.
In true epic ween troll form, Legi0n were not unfamiliar with the unfortunate effects of trolls trolling trolls, and this was made no more clearer than in their ill fated attempts at attacking EDSingers affiliates. Early on, Legi0n had a cordial and professional relationship with EDS, even becoming lyrical fodder for some of the groups songs. Things went well until Medic and other lesser Legi0naires decided it would be hilarious to dox and raid an individual who was attempting to troll EDS1 for reasons that, like the legendary "CWCki Raid Thread Purge", made sense to them and them alone. After obtaining an address, Legi0n tried to have hookers sent to the lad's house.
Nothing happened, although said gentleman was eventually made aware of Legi0n's attempt and promptly DDOS'd the board, knocking it offline for a few days.
Legi0n did not retaliate.
A Damsel In Distress
In another example of Krapple and Legi0n's constant longing for the approval of better, more established trolls, the Riley34470 "trolling" was done in an attempt to gain favor with Cyanterrorist. Almost a year after Riley34470 stopped being relevant. In spite of that, Krapple went to work, making YouTube videos and prank calling Riley for days, confident he was making a name for himself and Legi0n among trollin's big boys. What Krapple didn't count on was Riley actually getting his own dox, courtesy of Brittany Holechko. Krapple found himself at an impass, but soldiered on like a true troll, posting Rileys bizarre and constant phone calls to his YouTube account, showing everybody that Riley was all super butthurt and that he had played him fine!
The actual evidence, however, is less than convincing;
A personal favorite of Krapple, Brittany Holechko was given Legi0ns full attention due to the fact that she is, in all actuality, the female Chris chan, and since Legi0n could only ever troll Chris chan with any measure of actual success, this seemingly played into their one strength. Krapple and friends dedicated video after video after video to trolling, exposing, and generally tormenting IHM, complete with compiling a list of her failed e-romances. Sticking to what they knew, Legi0n realized that if they stuck to trolling people that had been decimated long before they came along, they could do as generations of trolls before them had done and claim to be true and honest trolls while feasting upon the dry carrion of long milked lolcows while never actually being at risk. It was the perfect plan.
Until somehow, Brittany actually made good on her usual empty threats and actually dox'd Krappleguy, passing the information to his arch rival Riley34470. This brought Brit's record to 2 Legi0n members trolled, counting her involvement with Ickeriss' fall from YouTube grace. On top of it all, she too DDOS'd Legi0ns imageboard. They, again, did not retaliate.
The Darksidered992 Saga
One day, Legi0n got it in them to try impressing Cyanterrorist one more time, and concluded it would be awesome if they went after yet another primed lolcow, Garrick "Dark Side Red" Colwell; again, that it had been years since people gave two shits about DarkSideRed wasn't the slightest hindrance to the operation. But Legi0n decided to kick things up a notch and take the trolling straight to Garrick.
Holy fuck, what turn around! Legi0n had gone from failing at prank calling a pillow biter to rolling right up on fuckers door steps! Surely, Legi0n had arrived.
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Except by "personally trolling DarkSideRed", they just kind of knocked on his door and said "Hi". And that's pretty much it. Specifically;
—Atlus, cooking bitches
Oh yeah. Feel that heat? That's Legi0n, motherfucker.
KrappleGuy vs Atlus
After showing the Yehudtubes how much of a badass he was by stalking and occasionally phishing little kid's accounts with his 30+ sock accounts and promptly getting his ip blacklisted, veteran legi0nnaire Andrew "Atlus" Watson along with a former galpal of Ickeriss69 decided to turn the epic ween trolling on their own retarded friend, the one and only Mark Ortiz. Such epic ween trolling included fucking on top of Krapple's unwashed bedsheets, getting a free trip to Las Vegas, and taking videos of him. Atlus, wishing for everyone to see how awesome he was, decided to broadcast to everyone the fact that he lost his virginity at 21 and made his retarded friend cry at the same time. After receiving praise from fellow trolls, Atlus decided that his next move would be to write himself into an ED article. After not getting the love and praise that he craved, he felt that the next best thing would be to start a thread about it on /cwc/. After realizing that not everyone was an adoring fan of his, Atlus banned almost everyone posting in the thread because of his own plan backfiring on him. He was then demodded and said thread was deleted to quell his massive butthurt. Later that night, a distressed Mark Ortiz received some death threats on his home phone and shat his pants.
Not content with their rousing success at trolling, Legi0n were also the keepers of their very own trollin wiki! Filled with their own completely exclusive tales of internet shit stirring, Legi0npedia detailed the epic adventures Legi0n and their cohorts had trolling the various plebs that plague their internets, along with details of epic plans to come and thorough accounts of what exactly notorious internet terrorists like them were up to.
The End of Legi0n?
After Ickeriss' brave leadership led the clique right to annals of Encyclopedia Dramatica, Legi0n determined that the once glorious Medic needed to step away from the reins of power. Medickeriss, as classy as ever, flipped his shit entirely and decided that if he didn't get to be a Chris-chan trolling cool gui then nobody got to be and threatened to expose horrifying and irreparably damaging information to Chirs-chans handlers that would totally and completely prevent any future trolling. Ever.
It is expected that this latest totally ingenious and rather large, complex and elaborate trolling on Icky's part will be met with his usual amount of success. Suffice it to say,
the number of people openly and proudly trolling under the name of Legi0n has drastically diminished on August 27th Legi0n closed it's doors, moving /cwc/ and keeping the board online as an archive. While this was a completely voluntary decision by management, it's assumed Ickeriss will eventually claim some form of credit for forcing the closure. Well, some credit other than "I was a huge faggot and they shut down due to shame that they had been associated with me and people like me". That part he'll probably leave out.
Thought Legi0n finally learned their lesson about faggot mods after Ickeriss, too? Think again. Meet SeanieB: owner of 789chan. When he's not being a totally hardcore troll or Mac fanboy, he's admining on Sonic The Hedgehog forums. Once again, Legi0n accepts only the finest into their ranks of internet terrorist elite.
The Faces of Epic
Chin up, big guy
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