Lady Sovereign

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I'd still hit it.

Lady Sovereign (aka Louise Harman) specialises in electro hip hop. She is another example of the current trend in popular music using the word Lady in their stage name.

A History of Sovereign

Lady Sovereign
Notice the disgusting oily skin

As one can imagine with any STI infected mistake originating from England's urban wasteland, she was influenced musically by terrible American RnB artists from the early 90's, such as Salt-n-Pepper. Once she reached the ripe age for tappin' dat loli ass, 14, Sovereign began to write her own raps, in the style of Ms. Dynamite, a hip hop artist who released the track Boooo! in the early Naughties.

Lady Sovereign herself is chav, townie scum aged to a crisp, mature taste over the course of 25 years. After releasing her first few singles and EP's, she became a respected member of the UK Grime scene. The Grime scene is male dominated, which proves Sovereign's whore status, for the people involved in this sort of shit are your typical chav gutterscum, whose only redeeming features are their drug connections and the way that they treat women.

Sovereign's early music is typical of UK Grime: Some rachet bitch spitting shit about sucking dick and fucking guys for drugs, whilst still "attending" high school totally fucked up on meth. But even this is preferable to her most recent album, Jigsaw, which is another entry into the skull fucking, over populated, semen soaked and shit spackled Popular Dance market. Upon joining the likes of Lady GaGa and Katy Perry she has automatically lost all the street credit she has amassed over the years in Grime.

But it's all worth it.

She currently resides in London, snorting coke and sucking as many black-cocks as she can (drinking AIDS juice) lay her disgustingly bony talons upon.

As you can see, she is clearly living rough, risking her life to street crime everyday. Barely fuckin surviving bruv'

A Random Night with Sovereign

Notice the Fear in Sovereign's eyes

Back in 2006, a fantard from San Francisco embarked on a mission to have a "random" night with Lady Sovereign. His name was Zach Slow and his original message was as follows:

I really want to meet and party with Lady Sovereign after she performs in my hometown of San Francisco on June 9th, 2006. I want you guys to decide what we do on our night out together--so to make the night more fun, I'll only be spending money on her that you guys donate to this project.


—Zack Slow

Slow also planned on raising $10,000 dollars to spend on his random night out with Sovereign. Slow claimed this money was to buy the things that Sovereign is used too.

Andrew Bancroft

The Random Night with Sovereign was promoted at local shows by MC's, but none more-so than Andrew Bancroft, a local MC known as "Jelly Donut". There was a bit of drama caused when Bancroft attended a Lady Sovereign show in January, 2007 dressed as a donut, where he attempted to disrupt the show. Mild lulz were observed when Sovereign threw a drink at Bancroft and spat on him. He was escorted out of the venue by security.

Creepy Response

The first thing that comes to mind when reading something like this is, what a fucking stalker. 10 points for noticing! This is extreme stalker activity, and this man should be treated as such, and reminded of the fact well into the future. When asked if he is a stalker, he responded with the following bullshit:

The short answer is "absolutely not!"

The long answer is: As I was walking home tonight to start working on this site, I passed by a traveling tarot card reader (true story). Jew for a card reading, so I couldn't say no. She told me to ask her any question, so I asked "am I a stalker?" She then flipped over a card that said "the Pope" on it. I'm not sure what that means, but I don't think the Pope ever stalked anyone.



—Zack the Stalker


A month later, the Internet proved that it is populated with complete fucking morons with way too much money to throw about. Zack Slow not only raised the $10,000 he asked for, but he also got the date with Sovereign. Some may call this a victory for the little guy, but in all truthfulness it is merely a confirmation of the idiocy of Americunts and their easily opened, bulging fucking wallets.

She Kissed a Girl

Disregard the faggot who owns the watermark on this photo

Back in April, 2009, Lady Sovereign and Katy Perry were reported to have locked themselves in a bathroom at a party. When Sovereign was asked what they were doing in there, she replied with, "naughty things". Insta-boner. This author can only hope that both Perry and Sovereign got it on and took pictures.

However, this isn't the first time that it was reported that Sovereign and Perry had been fucking around naked. And by the sounds of some of the shit that goes on amongst 20-something celebrities, it isn't that hard to believe.

During an interview about a party that Katy Perry was hosting Sovereign was quoted by saying:

At one of her afterparties she put her pyjamas on and I don't think she was wearing anything underneath. (It) was like a long t-shirt kind of thing


—Lady Sovereign

When she was asked why the fuck Katy Perry, a known Christfag would be at a party with nothing but a t-shirt on, she said:

It was out of control. Just a thing in her hotel room, but yeah I saw something I shouldn't have seen.


—Lady Sovereign

Arrested in Brisbane

Where it all went down

Recently, after playing the Parklife festival in Brisbane City, Australia, Lady Sovereign fancied a night out in the infamous Fortitude Valley. She was drinking in Brisbanes biggest gay bar, The Beat. The Beat is notorious for queens, faggots and other nightlurking scum, but it would seem that Sovereign had no idea, because she was rather surprised when she was punched in the face by a transvestite in the female toilets of The Beat.

The attack from the tranny was completely unprovoked, further supporting the fact that these closeted faggots should be sterilised on sight. Soon after the attack, a small fight broke out, and Soverign was dragged out of the bathroom and ejected from the club, but as she was being escorted out of the club, she spat in the face of a bouncer, and was arrested by police on assault charges.

On Saturday morning she appeared in the Brisbane Magistrates Court and, even though she was struggling to stay awake, was fined $400 and ordered to pay $200 to the bouncer she spat on.

The organisers of Parklife, which still had many Australian cities to travel, where quoted as being happy that their star act was released from Brisbanes Roma St. lockup, which is notorious for drunks, junkies and the homeless, all of whom aren't too accomodating of Britfags, however ghetto they may be.

Apparently the people of Brisbane wont make way for the S - O - V!

(Ba Da Tiss!)

Lady GaGa Vs. Lady Sovereign

GaGa used Inane Bullshit! Its super effective!
Sovereign, proving that chavs cant fight without a bottle of Stella
Lady Sovereign's got Black-Up

Over the ages, the most elite warriors and superheroes have been theoretically pitted against each other in the ultimate battle for supremacy. From Master Chief and Gordon Freeman, Superman and Batman to Chris-Chan and Spax3, people have discussed and argued over these battles of the titans, and who would win them. But none have been as epic, as destructive and as useless as the battle of GaGa and Sovereign.

So who would win in the street fight between GaGa and Sovereign? Lets break it down:

Prior Training

Sovereign: Grew up in a poor English housing estate and attended a Public School, which gave her a keen street mind, meaning she can probably suck a great dick. (Public school in UK = Private school in USA, dipshit.) She also has had some experience fighting transvesties in Brisbane, Australia. (She got smacked in the face, and complained to the bouncer, who promptly told her to GTFO)

GaGa: Grew up in upmarket New York and attended Convent of the Sacred Heart and NYU.

  • +1 to Sovereign for being a British scumbag whore, who would have had to fightsuck nigger cock to stay alive on the streets of London. grime dyke MC.

Battle Attire

Sovereign: Dresses in the threads common to Chav scum from her region. Think M.I.A. or that sort of ilk.

GaGa: Dresses like a transvestite.

  • +1 to Sovereign for wearing clothes suitable to fight in, however, +0.5 to GaGa, because she seems like she might be able to swing about a six inch heel with devastating effect.


Sovereign: Keeps company with rapper Jay-z who signed her to her current label. Also, Sovereign toured with Gwen Stefani.

GaGa: Keepz it REEL with Colby O'Donis.

  • +1 to Sovereign again, for keeping company with people who own guns.

Fierce Warrior Haircut

Sovereign: Lily Allenesque Blunt Cut.

GaGa: Lily Allenesque Blunt Cut.

  • -1 point to both.

Lovecraftian Horror Trait


Sovereign: Lacks the sanity to gaze upon Great Cthulhu

Lady GaGa: Looks, acts and flashes her crotch like Cthulhu.

The Winner Is

  • Lady Gaga, sorted.


Lady GaGa needs to do nothing, as Lady Sovereign's sanity would shred upon seeing her. This is mostly due to the fact that Lady GaGa bears an uncanny resemblance to the Great Old One, and by Lovecraftian rules Lady Sovereign's sanity would be erased by seeing such an androgenic hybrid of man and squid-woman.

The Many Faces of Sovereign


External Links

See Also

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