Keegan Salisbury

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Screamerreaction.jpg Keegan Salisbury looks like it was written by pseudo-intellectual 13-year-old boys.
Look out for unfunny Uncyclopedia bullshit, boring in-jokes, and angsty teen-ery.
You could also add in actual humor.
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THIS PAGE IS BEING WATCHED BY ENEMIES OF THE LULZ.
BEWARE OF BUTTHURT REVISIONISM.
Sick Fuck.png This person is a sick fuck!

They should never be trusted by anyone!

Possible side-effects will include at least one of these:
1. HIV/AIDS
2. Bestiality
3. Cuckoldry

Sick Fuck.png
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This faggot waits for the child to make the first move in a sexual situation.
You can help by contacting Federal Authorities and alerting Chris Hansen.
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ATTENTION!
This luser is a lolcow, and should be trolled to death in the usual fashion.
You can help by posting their nude pix or spamming their talk page.
Aspergerbenice.gif This person has Assburgers Syndrome,
so you can't say anything bad! :-(


Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
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Find an iPod?

This page is about an attempted an hero.
Keegan James Salisbury IRL.jpg
Keegan The Autist
Born 2004
Nationality Americunt  MiniflagUSA.png
Residence Illinois
Ethnicity White devil
Gender Male
Sexuality Pansexual Pedophile
Aliases MultiKeegster1
MultiKeegster2
KJS12
TheYtpMaker1000
YTPMaker1000
SourWashingMachine
Imageny
Empty Recycle Bin
xomdjl_
>nul
Keegs
Keegan The YTP Maker
KeeganSalisbury
godgeeK
Occupation Permabanning people he hates and fapping to random girls and waifus

Keegdog (Powerword: Keegan James Salisbury) is a severely autistic 17-year-old unwanted piece of shit, wannabe hacker, DDoSer and general fucktarded sped who wastes his time on the internet doing lots of shit no one cares about. This fat enby faggot usually sits on his chair making YTPMVs, whacking off to his many waifus, some of which are underaged, DDoSing and hacking people he doesn't like, overreacting to the slightest provocations, having autistic meltdowns, and harassing every girlfriend he ends up getting together with. After getting banished for sexually abusing Kylie, Keegan has decided to get revenge and form a new community out of his based ex-friends' cringe enemies to form an entire battalion of mental lolcows squirting lulzy milk 24/7.

Keegan's Family

An ordinary day in the Salisbury household.
Keegan's momma's half-assed attempt at defending her son.

Keegan's family also tend to be just as spergy and lulzy as the autistic son they have, which is likely a reason for how Keegan is this utterly fucktarded and autistic. They are Isaac Salisbury (daddy) and Karrie Flannigan or Salisbury (momma) and all they do is defend their son online while making fools out of themselves online by associating with random Autism Pride groups and posting cringeworthy posts on social media, especially Shitter. Mental retardation and terminal autism sure runs in their family. Keegan also likes beating up his parents, especially his mommy when he gets butthurt, hurling his flabby fists at them, screeching like a madman and calling them niggers. Ironically, Keegan gets butthurt when people say nigger, which shows how much of a hypocrite he is.

Keegan's Sex Slaves

Typical Keegan Stans
Average Keegan Stan.

The following faggots listed below are Keegan's new squad of sex slaves best friends and fuckbuddies that are also fellow losers like he is. After he was ousted, most of his original friend group left him, so Keegan decided to rally their enemies together to form an entire army of fucktarded and mentally-impaired morons. When all of them are combined, they can easily walk into a museum and make themselves an exhibit, thus forming a Hall of Lolcows.

  • Twitter-favicon.png CLoggermore - Also known as Mommadomma, she is an absolutely pea-brained, diaper-obsessed, disgusting, sweaty, smelly, stinky, and mentally retarded tranny who is obsessed with Keegan to the point she decided to become a pedo just to own his haters. She makes some of the worst roleplays one can ever find, fills everything she says to the brim with her fucktarded diaper fetish shit obsession.
  • Twitter-favicon.png LewmioA - This shit-stained, cum-greased lint roller treated Ky like fucking shit and would complain nonstop while ignoring everyone else. He also defamed Baby Lamb Creations all for attention and his daddy made him do push-ups as a result. Now that his former friends hated him, he had no choice but to crawl back to Xomdjl_ like a massive pussy along with the fact that Geoshea was completed obliterated off the web. Also he hates Madness Combat as apparently the fandom treated him like shit.
  • Isaac - A baby-faced crybaby that loves throwing tantrums on camera like a pussy while supporting RJ Kumar to no end. HE WANTS FUCKING LOVE!!!!
  • Twitter-favicon.png WonderSauce2005 - A chronically rude, backstabbing psychopath with severe buttsex addiction crippling him, especially when he does get to suck Isaac's weiner.
  • melsbacksfriend - A furry aspie with a creepy obsession with Vaporeon. He also happens to be one of his real life fuckbuddies.
  • Twitter-favicon.png RjGunner111 - Some crazy curry nigger who tried stealing Roszina Head's email to sign it up for several mailing lists and would constantly cyberstalk her nonstop. He also enjoys have gay buttsex orgies together with Isaac and Seth.
  • Johnqpublic2990 - Some random faggot that vandalized the page over and over for their lord and savior Keegan when in reality Keegan won't fuck them with his microcock.

Keegan's "Art" and Cartoon Spergery

Like many other autistic speds trying out drawing to be like the cartoonists they revere as literal gods, Keegan has tried making art before in addition to his shitty ytps. Keegan so far has proven to be incapable of making any sort of quality work at all, with the best drawings he can muster being nothing more than sloppily-drawn shitstains on a huge piles of garbage. After being rightfully mocked for making various garbage or self-indulgent porn of his waifus, Keegan closed down his ImagenyDoezArt account like a pussy. After he was ousted for abusing Kylie, Keegan got even more hate comments on his DA. For some odd reason, Keegan kept these comments up despite ghosting on this account sometimes.

Keegan also has an obsession with many cartoons, such as Teen Titans, Sushi Pack, Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go! along with some animes and more. Most shows that Keegan likes either has him "kinning" a character or making one of the female characters in the cartoon/anime one of his many waifus; he often does both at the same time and will ship his self-insert or kin with one of his waifus. Keegan also requested many Rule 34 artists to draw porn of Kani Maki, the crab sushi thing from the shitty show Sushi Pack despite the fact that he was underage, which potentially got a fuckton of people in trouble. That not only shows how perverted this submoronic imbecile is, but also how much of an inconsiderate fucktard who doesn't give two midget shits about others he is.

Taking in Constructive Criticism

   
 
THESE PEOPLE ARE PROVING EXACTLY WHY I DON'T DESERVE TO LIVE. IF I WASN'T SUCH A PUSSY I WOULD HAVE ACTUALLY GONE FOR IT. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO WORK ON MYSELF, BUT THESE MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT AND THEY JUST COMPLETELY DISREGARD IT. INSTEAD ALL I GET IN RETURN IS "I'M SORRY DOZZY, FORGIVE ME!", "YOU! WILL! GET! PERMABANNED!" AND "BE QUIET MOM, I'M MAKING A VIDEO FOR PLAYING ANGRY BIRDS FOR GOOGLE CHROME, JESUS CHRIST!"
 

 
 

Accurate depiction of Keegan responding to criticism.

Typical to a person with Ass Burgers, Keegan is incapable of taking in any sort of criticism whatsoever, even pussy faggot constructive criticism. Anger him one slight but or trigger his "PTSD" with any one of the thousands of triggers that will make him go berserk and trigger an autistic meltdown from him and he'll immediately block and permaban you like a control freak and Reddit moderator. Keegan often claims that he can take criticism but this has been not the case many times, probably for every time; but he will never face the truth due to being too much of a coward. All Keegan really wants is to live in a perpetual ass-kissing 24/7 hugbox where all his waifus like Kani Maki and Starfire will come to life and have BDSM gangbangs together in his filthy sex dungeon while braindead children who get their entertainment out of crappy grounded videos constantly shower his cow shit videos with a ton of likes.

The Beginning

I came here to fuck bitches.

On September 15th, 2004, Karrie Flannigan shat Keegan out of her vagina and bought him into the world. At a young age, Keegan was diagnosed with Ass Burgers.

Angry Birds for Google Chrome

Sometime in November 2012, Keegan did a gameplay video of Angry Birds on Google Chrome. At one part in the original video, he told his mom to be quiet and that he's currently making a gameplay video for it.

Keegan's Love Quest

Quick everyone, act like you're scared!

Jeffy-Chan

Sometime in 2016 or 2017, Keegan started his love quest by beginning a relationship with some retarded severly autistic sperg named Jeffy-Chan (Powerword: Brianna Hansen).

Kylie

Keegan's recent ex-girlfriend broke up with him because of his sexually abusive attitude towards her. Fearing that his waifu would leave him forever, Keegan tried to use his permaban powers to bring her back to his server as well as forcing her to buy lewd clothes for herself so Keegan can jack his twizzler-esque micropenis to her. After the breakup, Keegan felt very suicidal and developed a pornography addiction due to no longer having a woman to sext and live out his deranged incel fantasies.

Since Keegan has developed an addiction to buttsex and trying to fuck every girl, someone caught Keegan in the acts of him becoming a lolicon.

Keep your kids away from him when they grow up.
It maybe hard to see, but here, Keegan is using his permaban powers to keep his waifu forever.

During sometime before the breakup, Keegan and his ex were arguing in the DMs, leading to Keegan to use his Angry Birds for Google Chrome and Permaban powers to keep her forever, which resulted to her trying to breakup cause Keegan is a crazy dumbfuck, not like this has happened before. This also lead to the communities like the YTP and YTPMV communities to exile him from their communities for Keegan's awful behavior. These messages also reveals Keegan would always talk to her butt naked with his 3cm wiener showing off so he can fap towards her too, and the fact he also made her order kinky clothes off Amazon so he has a waifu forever, not like that anime fucking exists for low lives like him.

Garrett Simmers

Formerly longtime best friends with him, up until recently.

Chloe

Kayley

Sammi and Zuzu

After repeated fail with many of his previous waifus he was planning to molest and fap too all day, Keegan thought going poly would be a good idea and later tried hooking up with random girls from other servers. He first found Sammi, a 19-year-old tranny from Canada whom he immediately fell in love with as s(he)? shared similar interests with him along with being an autist as well. Later, Keegan met a new girl named Zuzu who is a 16-year-old girl and apparently lived hear him. Keegan says both have similar interests to him, though it was likely that Keegan was simply pulling shit out of his ass and trying to fake his interests as he was so desperate to get a girl and love.

Keegan's Waifuism

Sushi Pack is trash.

Midori's Document of Keegan

Some retarded Douche (and a fucking simp) under the name of YouTube Favicon.png Midori (Formerly Green ProDuctions Universe) was once part of Keegan's friend group, as well as Keegan's former Sex Slave, until Keegan fucked up, leading to Midori to make a YTPMV out of Keegan with a mild dose of Japanese and Korean sources, alongside a document outlining his autism.

The YTPMV Midori made of Keegan


Keegan responded with a document saying that Midori's document took scenes out of context, it really showed that Keegan is a lolicon when he doesn’t change his act, and take full responsibilities of his actions. Instead he’s still shoving the fact that he doesn’t need to listen to his haters and decided to join the Vyond community again for them to harass and manipulate his ex girlfriend, and his former friend Midori, Keegan’s two biggest targets.

After Midori wrote the document, Keegan decided to "retire" from YouTube only to come back two weeks later, which resulted him to do the same shit 3 days. This has been an recurring thing where Keegan wastes everyone’s fucking time. No wonder abortion exists in the first place.

At some point before the article, Keegan once wanted Midori to help him make visuals for a ytpmv only for it to actually suck. You can view it here

Keegan’s “Greatest YTPMV”


Keegan also forced his girlfriend to make YTPMV samples and sent them to Midori because Keegan looked up to Midori and possibly jacked off to him as well, only for Midori to get pissed off, having to tell any others who has the sources of her to delete them.

Keegan also claims to wanting to play Genshin Impact, you know, the open world rpg game with the tall sexy Geo God and the annoying flying food, well it turns out Keegan only heard of it, of course because of Midori, but after being “betrayed” by Midori, Keegan chose not to play it at all.

Waaah, Midori plays Genshin

Shitstain Galleria

This gallery below is an artisal archive preserving the finest ragequits, permabannings, Angry Birds for Google Chrome and waifu whacking off that Keegan Doggis here has decided to show the world too. Enjoy faggots!

Sheer, Unfiltered Autism About missing Pics
[Collapse GalleryExpand Gallery]

Trivia

  • Keegan's bent dick is only 3 centimeters long.
  • He had a slight obsession on Anime, only because Midori watches anime.
  • Not only does Keegan look like Chris-Chan, but he looks like Oscunt Ferguson as well.
  • Keegan looks like that he enjoys jacking off to little girls and boys.
  • Keegan likes fantasizing about his enemies dying brutal deaths, though it won't happen in a million years.
  • Like the manchild he is, he still enjoys watching crappy grounded videos and making shitty jokes.
  • Keegan enjoys making fun of people's deaths, but then backtracks exactly 5 minutes later afterwards like the coward he is.
  • If Keegan doesn't have moderator roles, he'll be unable to PERMABAN and thus will have a mental breakdown.

See Also

External Links

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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on YouTube.

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Einsteinaspie.jpg Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on Aspies. [Back to your happy placeSperg out]

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Keegan Salisbury is part of a series on Dying Alone

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