Internet Explorer

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Breakingnews.gif Breaking news!
Internet Explorer is finally getting the axe by the time Windows 10 comes out by Project Spartan! Edge!

No IE.png

The average IE user's configuration.
More evidence that IE is total shit. Notice the "border-radius" property on the homepage doesn't work. (click on the image to enlarge)

Internet Explorer is a tool developed by Microsoft that allows Windows users to download and install Firefox or Chrome. For this purpose, it has basic web browsing functionalities, but it's otherwise very limited for serious and modern internet navigation. A lot of inexperienced Windows users thought it was meant to be used as an actual web browser, and this led to an enormous amount of security problems and to a catastrophic spread of malware around the world.

In fact, due to Swiss cheese-like security, Internet Explorer is susceptible to raep by nearly every exploit imaginable. In less than 5 minutes, the average IE installation will fail as it becomes saturated with worms, unwanted tool bars, and AIDS. Microsoft itself used to unofficially call the tool Niggernet Exploder

Virus or not a Virus?

Though it appears to spread like a virus, it lacks the small size and stealthy behavior which is commonly associated with viruses. Furthermore, the bulk of its propagation happens not through the internets but through the real world where monopoly was used to pre-load it onto computers and hide it on Windows operating system disks; a practice which got Microsoft's ass sued by... well, basically by everyone.

Also if JavaScript is enabled, any website can hack your computer with things like making Over 9,000 pop up windows. Or disabling mouse buttons and keyboard buttons so when you click them they don't work and it says, "Don't steal my pictures" -- if the latter ever happens you just got hacked. As a public service, you must turn JavaScript off and then steal every one of the pictures from sites like this. (Or you could always highlight it and press CTRL+C, to save you the trouble of finding where the option is in Internet Explorer's crappy layout)

Indian Programmers

Indian programmer in a specialized Microsoft Area51 lab.

Internet Explorer is programmed by a highly trained team of Indian specialists. These specialists are world wide recognized for their talents and everyone praises their mothers when Internet Explorer crashes. Most of these highly specialized programmers work in high tech labs, such as in the desert, or while on Toilet. That explains why Internet Explorer works so great. Notice that they sometimes use turbans to boost their intelligence and make better crappy versions. Especially when making upgrades (more bugs).

You should not be deceived by that picture in the right. That is not an ordinary Indian desert. That highly specialized IT man is actually working in AREA 51!!! And that picture was taken by a spy satellite while he was upgrading Microsoft Internet Explorer.

A Short History of this Shit

  • IE1: A ripoff of NCSA Mosaic, was shit when it was ripped off.
  • IE2-3: Same shit, different version.
  • IE4: Microsoft used this version to fuck over Netscape, and later to troll anyone who hated web shit being integrated into their OS by making it mandatory from 98 until XP.
  • IE5-5.5: IE4 with a new coat of paint.
  • IE6: Microsoft decided to further troll every web designer on the planet by leaving this POS to rot for six years, making it a malware creator's wet dream and drove many people who had to code sites to accept it's shit standards to suicide.
  • IE7: A lame attempted reskin of IE6 that broke pages worse than IE6.
  • IE8: An attempt to fix IE7 that was even shittier.
  • IE9: The first IE that was decent for once. However, everyone still preferred Firefox by this point anyway.
  • IE10: IE9 2.0
  • IE11: Last IE, no one give a fuck about it.
    • Inori Edition: A weeaboo reskin so ronery Microfags could jerk off their micropenises to an anime slut in a sailor uniform.

Prepare to Rest in Pieces

After 19 years of security exploiting and raep and hax by every human being that ever existed, and a short lived animu mascot that existed solely for Rule 34 fuel, even Microsoft finally had enough. No one uses it anymore that isn't in Japan or South Korea, and Mac and Linux had given up on it more than a decade ago. Recently, there has been news that Microsoft is finally going to put Internet Explorer into the ground after many years of collective fail. Thanks to a new browser that they've dubbed as Project Spartan that may or may not really be better by the time Windows 10 comes out, there's now no reason to keep IE outside of plumbing as they've called it, and rightfully so.


See also

But then what should I use to look at the Internets?

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