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Insanity is a form of retardation which presents itself in many lulzy ways. Rather, we're talking about the clinically depressed or the schizophrenic. If there's a nut-job around, get ready for some laughs.
It is not known with certainty what the causes of insanity are, but it's probably a safe bet that it has something to do with white trash whores smoking meth while they had rotting little shit-bags festering in their guts.
On the Internets about 100% of the people are insane. This is most likely due to online communities, fetish porn, and the fact that insane people can't hold jobs so they have nothing better to do than waste their time OL.
In "Ye Olden" days insane people were locked away in dungeons to have the crazy tortured out of them. Nowadays most insane people take drugs prescribed by a "doctor" (who may or may not be a licensed physician and could just be some nigga you met in some alleyway trying you the ancient mystical healing ganja herb).
Are we sure we don't have cause and effect reversed here? Because insanity can be caused by drugs.. But the treatment for insanity is drugs.. But drugs can cause insanity so it should... Wait what?
A Random Sampling Of The Insane
Insanity As Common Usage
"Insane", as it is normally used on both the Internets and IRL, is a general, typically harmless and nonspecific irregularity of thought or perception. It usually refers to Teabaggers, generic Christians and members of various fandoms.
:Prima: I think that people should be given free health care.
:Secunda: You're insane!
Insanity As A Condition
By being incredibly boring, a person can become susceptible to the eschatology and apocalyptic sections of the Bible. Getting hung up on these sections, one starts to lose touch with reality and begins believing that these verses are real.
:Secunda: O rly?
:Prima: You're not allowed to post this comment against me here. I'm the mod! I can ban you!
:Secunda: Go ahead. I wasn't planning on coming back anyway, you fucking nut.
- (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)
Batshit crazy is one of the highest levels of insanity. It's usually a combination of all of the above, to wit:
Go Bat Shit crazy and you too can bring lots of lulz to your neighborhood like this guy
:Prima: Repent of your sins! Frienditto is the Antichrist! If you don't repent I will ban you from my community!
:Secunda: You're insane!
Not to be confused with Apeshit crazy.
Hidden Internet Crazy
Taking place on the fringes of the known Internets and inaccessible to the casual user, Hidden Internet Crazy can be considered an OL Easter Egg. HIC consists entirely of a Prima who maintains and updates a generally non-interactive website, which invariably stuns and bewilders anybody coming into contact with it. Discovery of HIC results either in a meme which spreads hilarity, or a jarring illness as the last vestiges of one's belief in humanity's sentience leaks out of one's eyes.
HIC sites will always be coded badly because HICs cannot type whilst wearing tinfoil hats (see below) and because they love font size=5. Examples include:
- Gabrielle Chana Church of Gail
- Time Cube
- Sherry Shriner
- John Cooper II
- Forbidden Truth
Dr. L Jon Heracys Psyonetiks.
- I like my women how I like my Earth: flat, immobile, and seriously misguided.
- Pokemon totally exist IRL!!!!
- Amazons existed and will soon reclaim power!
- All Types Of Insane And Then Some
- THE HOLY SPIRIT
- Rapture Ready
- Rubberburner! - DO YOU AGREE OR AM I OUT "BICYCLING"?
- TL;DR Steorn inc stole their tech, and the matrix is real
Sometimes, a special combination of cosmic rays, GRIDS, and dongs can lead to a whole other sort of crazy altogether. This type of crazy, named after its first victim, astronaut Lisa Nowak runs rampant through NASA, spreading faster than herpes in a gay bar, or AIDS in a pool. The two most common symptoms of SPACE MADNESS are sudden incontinence and psychotic delusions of "That bitch is stealin' mah man!!1"
Tinfoil Hats are the new Black (and make excellent replacements for jock-straps). The head wear of choice for conspiracy nuts like azad slide and puremisery. They keep the sunlight, UV rays, bird poop and evil alien mind control rays out out your head so you can continue to go throughout your day with the confidence of knowing all of your thoughts about the world and the government are completely unread and unaltered.
You cannot actually make tinfoil hats. The ones that actually keep out all the alien mind control rays are manufactured by some guy out in Tucson who has perfected the process. I lost that guy's number.
If you are said to be wearing a tinfoil hat, that means that you are thinking on such a high level of rational thought that other more susceptible minds cannot fathom why you are thinking the way that you do. So, go get a tinfoil hat and wear it with pride! (You wouldn't BELIEVE how much they paid me to say this!)
As proven by the TV show Futurama's movie, Into The Wild Green Yonder, tinfoil hats also prevent people from reading your mind and you from reading others's minds.
The Tinfoil Song
- I've got my tinfoil hat on, hip hip hip hooray, my tinfoil hat will shield me from your mind controlling ray.
See also: Poetry
- Official tin-foil beanie site - for the stylish conspiracy nut in everyone
Tinfoil hats actually amplify radiation.
Stockholm syndrome is where someone sympathizes and thinks highly of their abuser(s). This is when people are kidnapped by terrorists and eventually they join the terrorists' group willingly. Or people abused by their boyfriend, say they deserved it.
As an example: Let's say, purely hypothetically, your country is hijacked like an airplane by The World's #1 terrorist. This terrorist controls the media and also every press conference and town hall meeting the guy attends is filled with nothing but actors praising him. Anyone who criticizes him or exposes his crimes gets angry mobs insulting them and then gets secretly kidnapped and thrown in a secret prison where they're tortured until they die. And as a result of the mistreatment, censorship, and disinformation, many people of that country begin to support him.
That purely hypothetical example is how a lot of Internet forums are run. Kimmo Alm runs his forum excessively this way. Kimmo lives in Stockholm, Sweden, and the psychological condition itself was named after his city. It was not called Kimmo or Alm syndrome because he, himself, did not have the syndrome, rather he caused others to have it.
This kind of insanity is perhaps the most-maddening on all fronts; you find it maddening how everything is disjointed and oh, so scary, while we find it maddening how funny you are to be around. A schizophrenic lives like a Christian who just realized what eternity really is- everything is worthy of pissed pant leg and a shat trouser. Like a hippie or 9/11 conspiracy theorist, nothing makes sense and the best antidote is to rip your eyelids off and shove your toenails into your dick. Developing schizophrenia can be a, "Bo0Oo, I killed your baby!", immediate breakdown, or one that is gradual and so painful to watch that family members have to turn away to snicker into their closed fists. Cocaine addicts have the best cure of simply letting it take hold at an early age and simply doping around like a retard for the rest of your natural-born life, (like, 20 years).
"I'm completely sane" Insanity
This is a common condition suffered by most of humanity: They constantly and incurably hallucinate that they are completely sane. Symptoms of this kind of insanity include breathing, claiming that you are completely sane, thinking that this this kind of insanity is bullshit, and holding any sort of opinion that uses the words "normal" or "think," two things that don't exist for most of humanity.
Especially dire cases of "completely sane" include testing negative for mental illness (the results are evil and false!), believing that an invisible man hears everyone whispering to him at once, believing that nothing can turn into something and being gay.
"I'm a X trapped in a Y body" Insanity
Otherwise known as "body dysmorphic disorder", this most commonly manifests in the form of transsexuals who incorrectly believe that they are a woman trapped in the body of a man (or vice versa) who are driven to try and lop parts of their body off to fulfill this desire to be something they're not. Much like anorexics it doesn't matter how much a transsexual tries to "transition" because their mutilated body will never fully match their mutilated mind. The same way a pro-ana will constantly see themselves as fat no matter how much weight they lose and no matter how emaciated they look, a transsexual will never be able to reach a point of complete satisfaction in their attempts to change their physical appearance. This is why the post-op suicide rate amongst transsexuals is nearly identical to the pre-op suicide rate and likewise why the suicide rates of transsexuals are effectively identical to that of other mental illness.
List of Notable Insane People
- Glenn Beck
- Tom Cruise
- Susan Boyle
- John Forbes Nash
- Eugene Mirman
- Steve Wilkos
- Orly Taitz
- Syd Barrett
- Ask ThatGuy
- Dr. Phil
- Mary Todd Lincoln
- GG Allin
- Michael Savage
- B-flat major
- Gary Busey
- Ricky Caldwell
- Tim James
List of Insane people on LJ
- Prime radiant
- Anyone who has heard of or used Shoutwire
List of Insane people on IRC
List of Insane people on DeviantART
- Don Henrie
List of Insane people on YouTube
- Alex Jones
- Angry Grandpa
- Alix Henriol
- Brett Keane
- Chris Crocker
- Dips Tobacco Redneck
- Jared Milton
- Jenny McDermott
- Adolf Hitler
- Social Repose
- The God Warrior
- Theresa Sheller
- Vegan Gains
All of these people.
- Jesus Tortilla
- My Strange Addiction
- Gary Busey
- Crazy Dad
- New York City Atheists
- Barack Obama
- Insane Clown Posse
- Tom Cruise
- Leah Remini
- Insanity Wolf
- Ray Jones
- Mind control
- Kate Spade
- Robert Byrd
- Menstrual painting
- Dr. Steel World Emperor
- Encyclopedia Dramatica
- Your mom
- Susan J. Elliott
- George Noory
- Sherry Shriner
- Neal Horsley
- Gabrielle Chana
- Yandere - A game about a specific type of insanity.
- Vera - The most notable insane furry clown bitch
- Garden Thief - It helps to be insane to risk a bullet because you have a 3AM craving for Watermelon.
- The ePsychiatry DSM
- The U.S. government
- Westbrough Baptist Church
- The Imperial Party
The Leviathan Project Online
|Featured article September 21, 2006|