iTunes Store

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If you see this image when you browse your music folder it means your computer has contracted AIDS.

The iTunes Store is yet another monopoly run by Apple which sells piss-poor quality DRM-laden music to suckers who can't figure out how to get music for free. Opening as the iTunes Music Store before 9/11, it proved the viability of ripping people off. As of December 2007, the store has sold over 9000 songs to countless suckers, accounting for over 9000% of worldwide online digital music sales (But only 5% of all music downloaded off the Interweb, SUCK SHIT FRUIT COMPUTER!!). Most downloaded files come with restrictions on their use, enforced by threat of internet jail. However, late in the game, Apple started releasing "DRM-Free" tracks which can be played on other players, though their bit rate is still poor.

Facts and figures

  • Apple music can be played on iPods.
  • Apple music can only be used on 5 computers at a time because Apple's team is full of unfunny Jews that don't think you have the right to use what you own however the fuck you want.
  • Now you can pay through the nose to download iTunes music on your bulky iPhone which already has an over $9000 phone bill to begin with from using it to download porn. The same can be done on the iPod Touch, though only retards have purchased said device.
  • To counter Microsoft and their constant release of updates, iTunes will notify you of a new update pack on every start, no matter how many times you've told it to GTFO.
  • If you actually buy music from the iTunes store, you are a Fag.



To appeal to all the gooks and niggers halfway across the world, it is now possible to download Ayumi Hamasaki in at least 100 countries worldwide. This includes third-world hellholes such as Africa, where the only thing more common than niggers that don't have internets is AIDS. However, select songs are still available only in their home countries, making iTunes absolute rubbish should you be interested in finding music that isn't shoved down your throat by MTV.


Typical iTunes customer.

The only people stupid enough to actually buy the shitty music from this so called "Store" are those fucking americans that are too fucktarded to notice that YOU CAN LISTEN TO THE MUSIC FOR FREE ON YOUTUBE OMFG. Oh, and when you listen to it on youtube, it COMES WITH A VIDEO OF A BUNCH OF PEOPLE DANCING AROUND OMFG (Its better to watch the shitty video than stare at a brick wall while listening to the song you know). Here's a list of other dumbasses that actually waste their money on this store:


On iTunes you can leave reviews for the music and products on it even if you don't buy it. So, of course this leads to a bunch of really bored people one starring everything they hate.. You will NEVER find any reviews that are not five or one starred, let alone any with helpful information. Once one starred and negatively reviewed (whether honest or opinion-based) by basement dwellers, emo fanboys will be crying butthurt and begin writing long five starred reviews, about how much My Chemical Romance rocks and how they can go die in a fury pit of fire if the haterz don't like their music.

So what does iTunes do about these horrible useless reviews? Nothing! Don't worry though, if you get angry over a negative review you can always report it for disagreeing. I shit you not.

Typical Reviews on iTunes Store

  • Ew. Wtf is this.
  • Lady GAGME.
  • Omg I luv dis!!! <3333
  • If I could I would give this 0 stars.
  • This sounds like a dying monkey/frog/moose/cow/horse/raccoon/bird.
  • Why is this album only.
  • Dissapointing.
  • FREEMAISON!!! Illuminati.
  • Leave them alone if you dont like it dont review its that simple.

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