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Halloween (franchise)

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The movie that birthed a million nightmares shitty sequels.

Imagine, if you will, a long-running franchise of horror movies featuring a William Shatner lookalike killer who goes around chopping up people, dying and coming back to life over and over. Now imagine that movie franchise has been endlessly milked and rebooted. What you have is the Halloween movie series and franchise. While not spanning more films than the endless Friday the 13th series, the series manages to have a very loppy semi-continuity, with the original 1978 film serving as the jumping off point for all but the two shitty Rob Zombie-produced remakes.

The main character is serial killer Michael Myers, a masked psycho on a quest to kill off the rest of his family. Not to be confused with a very different Mike Myers.

Halloween 1 (1978) and Halloween 2

Memechael Myers

Halloween 1 and 2 are basically the same movie. But since Halloween 1 did so well, the producers made a second one which takes place on the same night as the first one and continues from the first one. Both are pretty good slasher flicks... for the 1970s/1980s.

In Halloween 1, the story starts with Michael Myers as a young boy killing his sister and family. His nutty ass is then locked up in a loony bin for almost a decade after which he escapes during a visit from the good doctor "Dr. Loomis". After which he proceeds to go back to his hometown of Haddonfield and go on a kickass killing spree on his way to find his (secretly) post-murders-adopted sister Laurie Strode (played by Jamie Lee Curtis) and take her out. The second one takes place later the same night in a hospital and follows Myers going after Strode yet again. Also - there's tits in the first one, for ya pervs interested in that.

Halloween 3 Season of the Witch

After two successful slasher flicks based on the main character, Michael Meyers, Hollywood executives decided to remove him from the series, and employ a chickenshit storyline about a mask company called Silver Shamrock (owned by a old Irish cunt who was totally gay for child sacrifice) which essentially culminated in amazing special effects of maggots and bugs crawling from under the masks, having devoured the wearer. The directors wanted to originally make Halloween as a yearly standalone anthology film with different characters for each one, so that was the motivation behind the risky decision. Season of The Witch was a flop at the box office, and has become a cult favorite of fans of the franchise.

Also - spoiler alert , there aren't even any fucking witches in the film - FALSE ADVERTISING!!! The film isn't that bad on its own though.

Halloween 4-6

Halloween 4-6 basically just retcon stuff from the first few movies and add a bunch of weirdo cult stuff to the backstory.. Really unnecessary, but still feature Michael Myers.... As if these weren't enough movies, they were followed up by...

Halloween H20 and Halloween Resurrection

Halloween H20 takes place 20 years after the first 2 Halloween films, thus the corny pun in the name (HAHA H20 water pun lol) and also ignores the other films for a new story arc. In this film, Laurie Strode is now the headmaster of a private boarding school and her son is stalked by Michael Myers as a result of being Michael's nephew. The movie's not that good, but Halloween: Resurrection is even worse. Halloween: Resurrection picks up after H20 and focuses around a reality show where several folks spend the night in the Myers house. (Spoiler: They almost all get slaughtered too.)

Rob Zombie's Halloween films

Rob Zombie Halloween 1.jpg

In the late 2000s, one hit wonder musician Rob Zombie decided to remake the Halloween films as very brooding long, drawn out shitshows that moral signal how awful bullying is, and provide the director with an edgy OC self-insert that would put any Sonic recolor to shame. Only somewhat enjoyable if you go in expecting an entirely different take on Michael Myers and the Halloween story. Not canon, but after all the films - what really is anymore?!?

Halloween 2018

In 2018, almost a decade after the shitshow that was Rob Zombie's Halloween movies, and the low energy Halloween H20 and Resurrection movies, John Carpenter and Blumhouse got together to do a new Halloween movie. ONCE AGAIN, they made a movie that completely disregards the previous continuities of the series. The movie at least features actor Jamie Lee Curtis again as Laurie Strode, and takes place 30 years after the events of Halloween 1. (They may as well have freakin' called it H30!!)


See also

External Links

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Featured article October 27 & October 28, 2018
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