Gay Teen Forum

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What is it?

Most boys, upon reaching the sacred age of thirteen, decide that there are several activities that he enjoys taking part in: Guitar Hero, XBox, and lusting over lesbian pornography. These boys even will take part in social rites in order to acquire a pussy to play with. Some boys choose to reject nature, God, and social mores, though, deciding that they'd rather rebel against society, their parents, and religion. These boys are known as gay teenagers. They feel alone, for a time, until they discover the Internets.

Queer Paradise

Last Thursday, the vagabonds of 12chan were searching for delicious porn, and a certain site caught their eye:

Upon taking a look inside, they were shocked: there was indeed a plethora of teenage boys just waiting to have penises inserted into their anuses. Between the Introductions, Gay Chat, Drama, Self-Pics, Intellectual Discussion Circlejerk, off topic and premium porn sections there was plenty of fun to be had. A lot of the self-pics are hot, lol, go sign up and see.

Typical behavior found on GTF

  • N00bs get verbally raeped in a terrible initiation. Despite GTF's self-description as a welcoming place, it's, um, well, a good place to get pushed over the edge. HAHAHA DISREGARD THAT, WE SUCK COCKS
  • Any mention of vagina will get you expelled adopted as a faghag.
  • Niggers aren't welcomed, lol.
  • Seriously, NO NIGGERS!
  • There are too many Asians and new Asians are told to
  • Some stupid 13-year-old emo kid from Britain making shitty threads. Drowned in a fire, now replaced by a plethora of stupid Gaga fanboys.
  • A recent influx of furries, bringing the number up to a deadly two. four. six. fuck that, we've lost count.
  • Lots of Log Cabin Republicans.
  • Unfunny retards who think they are SO COOL LOL!!!111 because they know what 4chan is. how to repost GIFs from Tumblr.

Rules of GTF.O

  1. Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Access Here
  2. If someone doesn't like the same things as you you must quote him and call him a dumbass. (DO NOT try to understand it from his point of view)
  3. Do not make posts longer than 300 words, people will forget the first half when they finish it tl;dr.
  4. Make sure your signature is at least 1000x1000 so takes most of the screen.
  5. Everyone will like you if you use pictures you found on 4chan Tumblr, especially animated GIFs.
    (Make sure at least half your posts don't contribute anything to the forum and are nothing but image macros annoying GIFs)
  6. If you consume drugs or alcohol you are instantly cool.
  7. We have Maddie, don't spread it around.
  8. If you like mainstream topics you will be bashed by hipsters.
  9. If you like obscure stuff you'll be bashed by retards who can't Google.
  10. You need at least 1500 posts for anyone to give a shit about your problems.
  11. Yes, the guy whom you've just met and glanced at you in the corridor is gay and wants your cock.
  12. No, the guy who sucked your cock and swallowed your cum isn't gay, he was just thirsty.
  14. No niggers.
  15. Penis pictures must be provided, no exceptions.
  16. Exceptions being: Fat, ugly or tranny (unless you're Bya).

Helping you come out of the closet

So, you've been a raging flaming homo for over 9000 years and you want every single person on the world to know about it, and since GTFO is a good place to get advice from, we have compiled the most popular ways to come out to close friends and family.

  1. Suck his dick, see what happens.
  2. Write and mail a letter to said friend about how you want to rail his ass with your huge hard cock, see what happens.
  3. Call him every 15 minutes and only say what you want to do to his boy hole.
  4. "Accidentally" leave gay porn or suggestive images on your computer or "accidentally" link it to friends and deny it's yours.
  5. Get a boner whilst showering after PE.
  6. Wear Lycra pants.

Notable Members

ErmeyPointingAngry.jpg STOP RIGHT THERE, FAGGOT!
ED does NOT need a huge list of absolute nobodies, nor does it give a shit about your petty forum feud with that bitch who doesn't agree with your Zutara OTP. Rather than spreading your butthurt vendetta over to this site, how about you read ED:101 and ED:A User's Guide to Article Building. And while you're at it, how about contributing to some actual drama you fucking idiot?

The Spawning of this Faggotry

The Great Split

Obligatory photo came about from AnonymousBoy was kicked off the site by mods for disclosing Super-Top-Secret Mod Information. Then everyone got really melodramatic about his firing, fashioned themselves revolutionaries, and ultimately created a new site. Today, is littered with stereotypical teenage gay guys, while is home to a bunch of pseudo-intellectual half-wits and quarter-wits. While the .org site is ran by pedos .net actively works to ban them.

How You Can End This Faggotry

Most people on the site are aware of what 4chan and /b/ are, and find trolling humorous. Mods are constantly active and ban most trolls. So don't be too fucking obvious. Sneak in slowly, define yourself as a fixture, and be clever. Then, post it on here, lol.

Complaints About

The following are simply some random thoughts that have been rattling about my head of late and that I'd like to let out -- a little house cleaning, if you will. If you disagree with my claim that GTF.o's artifices are definitely not on the up and up, then read no further. It's fine to realize that having to listen to the glossolalia that spews forth from GTF.o's advertisements is not a pleasant experience, but it's more important to know that if GTF.o is incapable of discerning the mad ramblings of money-grubbing malefactors from the wisdom and nuance embedded in a sage's discourse then I seriously doubt that it'll be capable of determining that there are those who are informed and educated about the evils of misoneism, and there are those who are not. GTF.o is one of the uninformed, naturally, and that's why what really irks me is that it has presented us with a Hobson's choice. Either we let it prevent us from getting in touch with our feelings or it'll erect a shrine of solecism.

  • Roger, of New Hampshire, NJ

GTF.o occasionally writes letters accusing me and my friends of being otiose, illiberal phonies. These letters are typically couched in gutter language (which is doubtless the language in which GTF.o habitually thinks) and serve no purpose other than to convince me that it has made a big mistake. Sad, but true. And it'll only get worse if it finds a way to seize control over where we eat, sleep, socialize, and associate with others. By the bye, I wonder if GTF.o really believes the things it says. It knows they're not true, doesn't it? We should be able to look into our own souls for the answer. If we do, I suspect we'll find that GTF.o loves getting up in front of people and telling them that an open party with unlimited access to alcohol can't possibly outgrow the host's ability to manage the crowd. It then boasts about how it'll skewer me over a pit barbecue one of these days. It's all part of the media spectacle that is GTF.o. Of course, it soaks it up and wallows in it like a pig in mud. Speaking of pigs and mud, if we're to effectively carry out our responsibilities and make a future for ourselves, we will first have to rise to the challenge of thwarting GTF.o's uncivilized plans.

  • Poopoo Jones, of Googoo Inc.

GTF.o insists that we should abandon the institutionalized and revered concept of democracy. In the long run, however, it's only fooling itself. GTF.o would be better off if it just admitted to itself that its eccentricity is surpassed only by its vanity and its vanity is surpassed only by its empty theorizing. (Remember its theory that if it kicks us in the teeth we'll then lick its toes and beg for another kick?) Let's be realistic: if one believes statements like, "GTF.o's screeds are Holy Writ," one is, in effect, supporting inaniloquent, intrusive charlatans.

  • Barney, of The Purple Moose Company

Sure, GTF.o can fabulize about how free speech is wonderful as long as you're not bashing it and the polyloquent scofflaws in its Praetorian Guard. That doesn't change the fact that its drug-induced ravings were never about tolerance and equality. That was just window dressing for the "innocents". Rather, GTF.o is the embodiment of everything petty in our lives. Every grievance, every envy, every cynical ideology finds expression in GTF.o.

Our problem -- and make no mistake about it, it is a severe predicament -- is that we currently lack the resources needed to fight GTF.o hammer and tong. I'm not going to say why; we all know the reason. Please let me explain that GTF.o coins polysyllabic neologisms to make its magic-bullet explanations sound like they're actually important. In fact, its treatises are filled to the brim with words that have yet to appear in any accepted dictionary.

  • Harriet Tubman, of black person City, Nigeria

You are, I'm sure, well aware that GTF.o's slaphappy cronies seem to think they can escape the consequences of their actions. But did you know that GTF.o often tries to prove its points by quoting "authorities" who are in fact nothing more than what I call subversive wisenheimers? GTF.o's trucklers are too indolent to analyze GTF.o's calumnies in the manner of sociological studies of mass communication and persuasion. What's my problem, then? Allow me to present it in the form of a question: How much is the axis of evil paying GTF.o to force some to live by restrictive standards not applicable to others? It's an interesting question and its examination will help us understand how GTF.o's policies work. Let me start by providing evidence that if GTF.o opened its eyes, it'd realize that its concept of team play is sideline sulking.

  • George, of Boston, MA

Because of GTF.o's obsession with incendiarism, its sympathizers are quick to point out that because it is hated, persecuted, and repeatedly laughed at, GTF.o is the real victim here. The truth is that, if anything, GTF.o is a victim of its own success -- a success that enables GTF.o to jump on everything that is written, said, or even implied and label it as either egocentric or repressive. Mankind needs to do more to improve the living conditions of the most vulnerable in our society -- the sick, the old, the disabled, the unemployed, and our youth -- all of whose lives are made miserable by GTF.o. Understand, I am not condemning mankind for not doing enough; I am merely stating that GTF.o wants us to believe that the federal government should take more and more of our hard-earned money and more and more of our hard-won rights. How stupid does it think we are? If you assert that everything GTF.o says is totally and entirely true then you won't understand my answer no matter how carefully I explain it. You won't understand my answer if you profess that those who disagree with GTF.o should be cast into the outer darkness, should be shunned, should starve. However, you have a chance at understanding my answer if you're open-minded enough to realize that if GTF.o thinks that it does the things it does "for the children", then it's sadly mistaken.

  • Jean, of Birmingham, UK

GTF.o may have access to weapons of mass destruction. Then again, I, hardheaded cynic that I am, consider it to be a weapon of mass destruction itself. Astute observers have known for years that GTF.o's sound bites always follow the same pattern. It puts the desired twist on the actual facts, ignores inconvenient facts, and invents as many new "facts" as necessary to convince us that might makes right. During the first half of the 20th century, credentialism could have been practically identified with tribalism. Today, it is not so clear who can properly be called a grotesque, quixotic fence-sitter. GTF.o looks primarily at a person's superficial qualities such as physiognomy and mannerisms. I, in contrast, consider how likely a person is to ratchet up our level of understanding. That's what's important to me. Either way, it keeps missing my point. More specifically, it keeps getting hung up on my words without seeing the underlying meaning. For example, when I say that GTF.o is a faithful student of Sun Tzu, the ancient Chinese strategist who advocated demoralizing one's enemy as the highest art of warfare, GTF.o seems incapable of realizing that what I'm really getting at is that the main dissensus between me and GTF.o is that I aver that the general public is finally starting to become aware of GTF.o's duplicity and complicity. It, on the other hand, contends that it holds a universal license that allows it to sensationalize all of the issues.

  • Mary-Anne, of Tokyo, Japan

When a political condition of greed, massive corruption, and diversity of objective is coupled to a social condition of drugs, violence, and discontent, therein exists the perfect environment for GTF.o to elevate lecherous voluptuaries to the sublime. I would like to comment on GTF.o's attempt to associate communism with antiheroism. There is no association. This is a lesson for those with eyes to see. It is a lesson not so much about GTF.o's pathetic behavior but about the way that when GTF.o says that once it has approved of something it can't possibly be narrow-minded, that's just a load of spucatum tauri. This state of affairs demands the direct assault on those headlong attitudes that seek to traduce and discredit everyone but the worst kinds of mumpish meanies there are.

  • Henry, of Oklahoma City, KY

If GTF.o can't stand the heat, it should get out of the kitchen. In hearing about GTF.o's ideologies, one gets the distinct impression that GTF.o can be so rotten it would take your breath away. But there is a further-reaching implication: I would like to give you an example of how odious it can be. GTF.o has admitted that it intends to encourage the acceptance of scapegoating and demonization. Okay, that may have been a particularly bald-faced and unsubtle example but the justification GTF.o gave for preventing me from sleeping soundly at night was one of the most annoying justifications I've ever heard. It was so annoying, in fact, that I will not repeat it here. Even without hearing the details you can still see my point quite clearly: GTF.o undoubtedly yearns for the Oriental despotisms of pre-Hellenic times, the neolithic culture that preceded the rise of self-consciousness and egoism. By the same token, it abhors the current era, in which people are free to institute change. Still, the issue of what to do about GTF.o's nutty, stroppy double standards is far from settled. The letter you just read should be seen as a starting point for dialogue on this controversial issue.

See Also

External Links

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