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Gary Motherfucking Oak is a Pokémon-based 4chan meme originating on /v/, which soon spread to other boards, such as /b/. Although Gary Oak threads are almost always epic, there are many who will dismiss this meme and h8 on Gary Oak with an unrivaled passion. Additionally, you can often locate a thread or discussion of Gary Oak by the heated, rampant, pointless debate and faggotry with which this meme is associated.
Who is Gary Oak?
He shows up to challenge you when you have just done something great and are worn down.
You are standing second in line for your brand new Wii console. There is one left on the shelf and guess who's right in front of you? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
You have just been rewarded with your Masters Degree in Cancer Research. In ten minutes you are going to have an interview to get the job of a lifetime with a six digit salary. You'll be able to pay off your student loans no problem. You flip on the TV right before you leave and what do you see? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK has just found the cure for cancer.
You're training on Route 22 for Brock's Gym, your Pokémon are tired, and who do you see? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
You just beat Lance, the last one of the Elite Four, with all of your revives and healing items used up and being almost raped by his onslaught of shitting dick nipples. In the middle of jamming the A-button, he says you WOULD be the champion, but who has to be in the next room that's so bare it's epic? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
It's 1997 and you're downloading Pokémon porn on your 56k modem. Oh boy, this zip file full of Misty nudes only has 10 minutes left. You've been waiting six hours for this. When the file gets to 99.9%, you start unzipping your pants and are getting ready for the fap of your life. At that moment, guess who picks up the phone and disconnects you? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
You have just fended off a shark, you are bloody and tired but you can climb onto the boat when who shows up to stomp your fingers? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
You're on the Titanic, its sinking, you're in the lifeboat, its the last one and there is only room for one more person, who takes the last seat? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
You and your girlfriend (both virgins) are ready to have sex for the first time. At the moment you get nude and horny and ready to bang your bitch, GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK already took away her virginity. Good luck getting another virgin from CraigList.
Congratulations, You have finally beaten Gary Oak and have no healing items left over. You head over to the Pokemon center and then the PokeMart, guess who blocks the entrance to the Pokemart. GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK That's Right, Gary Oak is just that Epic
You and your wife have been trying to have kids for a while now. It turns out, you're infertile. You go to a sperm clinic, and have your wife artificially inseminated. 18 years later, your son is finally told that you are not his biological father. GUESS WHO IS!
You're walking home at night and a nigger attacks you with a knife. You are able to drive him off using years of karate lessons, still sustaining some deep knife wounds. Guess who shows up and asks you for your wallet with a baseball bat? GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK, that's who.
Gary Oak just finished owning your ass with kung-fu. He's walking to the hospital to recover from the wounds he got. He's tired. He crashes into a mirror, and ends up in a coma. Why? Because not even GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK is safe from GARY MOTHERFUCKING OAK.
How it started
I firmly believe Gary should be the rival in every Pokémon game. No, I don't care if he's 45 by the time Diamond and Pearl or whatever is out.
He should also continue to be a total dick like he was from day 1. He was 10 years old driving around a convertible and had bitches at his beck and call. This should continue.
Whenever you enter a cave and come out with all your Pokémon are at 3 hit points? Gary appears.
Get through Team Rocket HQ, out of any healing items with your best team reduced to rubble? Gary rolls up in his Mercedes.
When you finally attain all the badges you need, with your favorite Pokèmon battered and beaten? Yeah, Gary.
All your Pokémon are knocked out and you're 5 tiles away from the Pokémon Center -- Guess who just blocked the entrance way and says he challenges you to a fight?
Fuck yeah, Gary Oak.
This copy pasta, attempted in /v/ many moons ago, appeared on November 19th in the middle of the afternoon, and created over 150+ image replies and over 600 posts. /b/tards, old and new alike, begging for a decent meme, have found it within Gary Oak - that son of a bitch whom appears at all the right places at all the wrong times for you. Always a minute before, and always telling you a minute too late.
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|Featured article March 14, 2010|
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