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To play a role-playing game, you have to fill out this application form.

Role-playing, sometimes called LARPing (short for live action role-playing) is the act of dressing up in lavish costumes and playing the part of your favorite character for lulz and sexual satisfaction. Common among geeks, gamers, furries, and other unfuckables. Conventional wisdom says that since LARPers would never be seen as sexually attractive, they must instead pretend to be a fuckable cartoon character.

Role-Playing Games

LARPer ready for battle

Sexual Play by Post Roleplay

Sexual Play by Post Roleplay (also known as Erotic Roleplaying, Adult Roleplaying, or 'Mature' Roleplaying) is also a common use of this term. In this form, it is similar to Free Form or Table Top Roleplaying Games that include sexual content and themes.

MySpace Roleplaying

The rules to being completely kickass in MySpace roleplaying are fairly simple. They also let you instantly become a pedophile.

First off, create an account with jack'd pictures and a create a stupid name for yourself; for example: Jessie Prostitution, Roscoe BurgerKing, Cunt Slob, or Bawl Zac. I'd prefer to use the name Skeeter Cummings for instant friendship with desperate cock mongelers. The best way to get attention is to use pictures of some random scene fag, shit singer, Twilight actor, or Disney Star in either a ghey br00tal pose (scene fags), smoking/drinking, pointlessly gawking at the camera, or shaving their pubes. You're basically stealing someone's identity. OH THE FUN! Another good picture to use is to go to "Original" accounts that post not-so original anime pictures, then edit out the background and put some crazy moving one to replace the old one, and put your name over the whole picture.

Try to find as many other "RP" accounts just like yours and friend request each one. Most of the RPs are based on games/anime, and the fan faggotry is usually rampart, rendering them vulnerable to trolling. Sadly, to cause maximal butthurt, you need to know something about the said fandom to know how to make them flip. Powerplaying/accusing others of powerplaying is still an easy way to escalate the RP threads into full-fledged shitstorm. Even funnier is to take part in existing RP groups, where the sessions may have continued for months or even for a year, and the character backround stories are usually over 9000 pages long. No matter what you do, the roleplayers want to keep the RP they have grown so attached to going. But, when they eventually days or weeks later grow tired of your faggotry, and your half-Vulcan chronic stoner can do naught but laugh as the USS Kickstart tears itself apart in an orgy of drama.

Things You Will See In Every RP Chat

  • Over 9,000 characters attempting to cyber in the chat, drawing massive amounts of butthurt from other RPers who haven’t gotten any e-pussy that night.
  • Epic flamewars over the stupidest shit you can possibly imagine, or even nothing at all.
  • One male RPer attempting to e-rape a female character, and another male RPer White Knighting in hopes of getting some e-pussy later on.
  • Trolls setting fire to the room and randomly killing people.
  • Faggots who like to announce "Blocked (Muted, reported, etc.)" every time you say anything.
  • 10 year old boys calling people names like “dildo face” and “ass brain”.
  • Male RPers threatening to kill one another IRL and claiming to be black belts in various martial arts and capable of benching over 250 pounds.
  • Valley girls butchering the English language mercilessly and getting flamed by other RPers for exactly that.
  • A semi-intelligent player who gets spammed for attempting to bring the logic.
  • RPTW and RPTMZ two sites that have took over trollin' for the MySpace anime roleplayers (RPTMZ's owner, Lettuce Annie Midorikawa).
  • Overuse of Lol, lol, lawl, and lollerskates, mostly by illiterate 10 year old faggots thinking everything is hilarious.
  • An autistic guy playing an insertion of himself.
  • A really autistic guy playing an insertion of himself with a picture of himself IRL.

An Example Of A Typical Minute In An RP Chat

***1337dave has joined Midnight Tavern***
1337dave: *walks in*
SauronTheMighty: ((1337dave, you're a n00b.  learn to rp or gtfo.))
LenaBoBena: *kisses Elladrin wit lots of tounge*
1337dave: ((stfu asshole!))
CrackaJacka69: *fels Lena up and kisse her bkac*
LenaBoBena: Shut the fuck up bitch!!!1!
CrackaJacka69: Stfu and gtfo Nawty, Lenas my gf!!
SauronTheMighty: ((or what?))
1337dave: ((I could kick your ass blindfolded with my hands tied behind my back.))
LenaBoBena: Whateva bitch!  *Nawty is now on ignore* *rubs Elladin's coc thru his jeans*
1337dave: ((dude, you couldn't last all of two seconds in my town.  you fuckin pussy.))
xxxxEmptyHeartxxxx: *cries softly in the back of the tavern, wishing somebody cared about me*
MegaMann5558: 17/m/oh ne1 wanna trade pix?  IM me plz!
SauronTheMighty: ((wanna fuckin bet you little bitch?  where do you live?))
CrackaJacka69: *starts fingerin Lena really fst and hard*
LenaBoBena: *lick Elladrins cock up n down slowly*
MegaMann5558: Nawty, chill da fuck out, k?  Dang ur a bitch!
1337Dave: ((sorry dude, I'm not gay like you.))
***BDBDBDBDBD has entered Midnight Tavern***
BDBDBDBDBD: poop fcae shit eaterr fuck hed
CrackaJacka69: *slide the rest of my dick into Lena's moth*
SauronTheMighty: ((no seriously, where do you live?  I'll drop by and kick your sorry ass right now.))
LilMissNawty: BDBD GTFO TROLL!!!!!!111!!!
BDBDBDBDBD: ass fuckk bich but dick ass
MegaMann5558: 17/m/oh ne1 wanna trade pix?  IM me plz!
LenaBoBena: *stradles Elladrin and feels his dick slid into my pussy*
BDBDBDBDBD: cunt hore ass bich basterd
1337dave: ((pshh.  you couldn't even win against an 8 year old girl.))
Dying_Whispers: *tentatively looks at [xxxxEmptyHeartxxxx] with tears in her eyes*
CrackaJacka69: *moves his dick in and out of Lnea faster and faster*
BDBDBDBDBD: penis vagina dick hore ass
***LilMissNawty has left Midnight Tavern***
BDBDBDBDBD: fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck 
LenaBoBena: *moans as Elladrin's cock fill up her pusys and rides him hrd and fast*
BDBDBDBDBD: fuck fuck fuck
LenaBoBena: ((yay, the bitch is gone!))
SauronTheMighty:  ((where do you live you pussy?  I'll fight you for real!))
1337dave: ((wtf is your problem anyway?))
CrackaJacka69: ((finally))
xxxxEmptyHeartxxxx: *looks back at [Dying_Whispers] with tears in her eyes too, feeling the calling of a kindred spirit*
***AidynTheStrong has entered Midnight Tavern***
AidynTheStrong: *walks in*
SauronTheMighty: ((Aidyn, you're a n00b.  learn to rp or gtfo.))

Did you feel your IQ drop?, I did.

How to roleplay

Name: Iris Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way

Age: 14

History: Abandoned by her parents as a baby, Iris was raised in a human Catholic orphanage. The nuns there abused her a lot because of how different she looked and so she ran away at 8 and lived on the streets. She found a guitar in the gutter one day and started playing it and people started giving her money until eventually a man in a suit came past one day and offered her a record deal. She started recording and moved to a penthouse in New York where she lives alone on account of not trusting anybody to get close to her.

Personality: Quiet and sarcastic. She doesn't feel comfortable around humans, only her two pet foxes Gerard and Billy Joel (named after her idols [a/n: my idols too!!!). People think she is rude but really she's very nice once you get to know her.

  • quietly enters the room, looking around suspiciously at the other members*

"Umm... Hey."

  • pulls out iPod and puts on headphones, flicking through the songs until coming to Green Day's American Idiot*
  • sings softly (in perfect pitch)*

"Well maybe I'm the faggot America. I'm not a part of a redneck agenda."

  • swishing her tail in time to the music, she spots a serene lake in the distance surrounded by tall trees*
  • climbs one of the trees and sits there staring at the lake*
  • scratching the back of one furry ear, she wonders if there is anyone else in the room worth talking to*

"No... probably not."

Don't stab the kids!

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 1:28 PM

your messaged by Lexi Parker!
 ----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 10:30 AM

-Your kissed by Brian Jonas
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 1:31 PM

-your making out with lexi parker
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 10:34 AM

-Wraps my arm around you and says "You wanna make babies with me!"
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 10:36 AM

-Smiles and kisses you passionatly while unzipping your pants

-hugs you and whispers "sure!"-
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 1:42 PM

-kisses you while taking off your shirt-
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 10:47 AM

-Takes off your pants and then takes off your shirt while kissing your neck
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 1:48 PM

-runs my hands through your hair and takes off your pants-
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 10:51 AM

-Smiles and puts my thing in your thing
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 1:53 PM

-turns my head kissed you on the lips-
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 10:55 AM

-Smiles and goes harder
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 1:59 PM

-smiles and hols on to you-
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:01 AM

-Goes harder and deeper
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:02 PM

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:06 AM

I love ya too!!!!!!!!!!!!!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:08 PM

-whispers to you "im pregnant with your child!"
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:09 AM

"For now...." I mutter to myself
-I go deeper and faster
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:12 PM

your the best damn thing thats happened to me<3333
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:13 AM

-Goes deeper and harder, hurting the baby

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:15 PM

well dont hurt the baby!
-goes into labor-
-has twins-
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:19 AM

-Goes and gets my knife and stabs the kids!
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:21 PM

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:22 AM

"Too late!"
-Holds you down
"Now shut your mouth and do what I say!!"
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi Loves Brian-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:24 PM

whats wrong with you?
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:24 AM

"Were over!!"

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:25 PM

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:27 AM

"You gave me what I wanted"
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:31 PM

-runs away and cries-

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:34 AM

-Grabs you and pushes you down on the bed
"You don't want to leave just yet
-Pushes my dick inside you, deeper, and harder.
----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: -Lexi-{NEW}
Date: Sep 13, 2008 2:35 PM

if your going to use me like that, then i cant be with you even though i love you.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: Brian
Date: Sep 13, 2008 11:38 AM

"I dont wanna be with you! I wanna rape you!!!"

Live-Action Role-Playing (LARP)

Rather than keeping their shameful role-playing a dark secret in their parents' basement, LARPers dress up and pretend to be their characters, occasionally in public venues. (Most times conventions for anime host "anime" LARP-)Often this results in much hilarity or to the dismay of shocked onlookers. Roughly 75% of LARPers are Goths pretending to be vampires. Sub-categories of the goths include fat chicks, skinny ugly chicks with glasses, and gay males who like to tell everyone they're really bi. Another 24% thwack each other with foam swords and throw bean-bags at each other until they have to take some form of kneeling position and continue to fight on (bravely?). The remaining 1% are furries who bring shame on humanity as they transition from ppl to BDSM slaves. If you are a furry, take heed of the lesson of Munchie and Rain - always buy a return ticket. Also, 89% of statistics are made up on the spot.

Some Larpers, rather than turn 27, move out of their parents basement, and become a productive member of society decide that foam swords and face paint aren't hardcore enough and graduate on to "practice" what is now known of as "Historical European Martial Arts" where their years of online training and high functioning autism can let them argue IRL about the subtle uses of the Pflug guard while shit talking about those assholes upstate who use a different masters system.

Any of the role-playing games listed above can be turned into a LARP. For example, you can LARP cybersex to make it IRL sex, but if you are a LARPer that probably isn't happening.

Still, at least they're not playing Runescape.


Edj joeshot.gif

Airsofters are also LARPers, And usually pay extortionate amounts of money for plastic guns which fire brightly coloured plastic pellets. Airsofting is the act of either grown men wearing camo firing pellets at each other, Or spotty teenagers arguing about what brand of toy gun is the best. But don't confuse them with paintballers, because they will most likely throw a fit like a little girl and try to educate you on the difference (There is very little, if any) between the two. If this ever happens to you, remind them that they are grown men prancing around in the forest shooting each other with plastic toys pretending to be Marines. Unlike Paintball, Airsofters have no way of knowing when someone is hit, leaving it up to the person who was hit to "call" their hit. Airsofters pride themselves in knowing that they rely on an honor system instead of requiring admins to check them for jizz stains. As you can imagine, this leads to a surprising amount of unwarranted self importance among Airsofters who feel that Airsoft is better than Paintball. This is another great time to remind the Airsofter in question what exactly it is they are doing.

Airsofters tend to be more susceptible to trolling, as they will get mad at even the smallest detail. It is important to remember that subtlety is key here, as although they are mostly autistic man children, they still know a troll when they see one, thanks in part to the massive amount of trolls they have encountered.

Ways to troll Airsofters:

  • Show up to a game dressed as any character from the Modern Warfare series
  • Be under the age of 18
  • Claim your plastic spring powered gun is the best
  • Play Paintball
  • Refer to your plastic spring powered gun as a "Sniper". Note: It is important to say "Sniper" instead of "Sniper Rifle", as this will only make them more mad.
  • Have an opinion
  • Exist in some tangible form

In Soviet Russia

There is an urban legend among LARPers that in Soviet Russia exist a "freestyle" LARP. In this LARP everyone uses real weapons (they just blunt) and just a few rules exist. Some "known" rules:

  • You can't kill the others on purpose
  • You can only rape others if he/she approve it
  • You can only use authentic weapons (no chainsaws)

A story tells that one night in that LARP some LARPers set on fire a tent with another LARPer in it. The LARPer escaped but according to the rules this act was totally ok.

Legend Confirmed

An anonymous source within the Soviet Union hosts an Internet blog, "Вне зоны комфорта", which provides evidence to support the Soviet LARPing legend.

Greek neo-pagan neo-nazi fag LARPing

A bunch of neo-pagan ultra-nationalist Greeks have started to re-enact (well, sorta) ancient Greek battle techniques. In this, they have recruited an ex-convict neo-nazi terrorist named Aristotelis Kalentzis, a basement dweller Nazi who fancies himself as a sort of a leader for a branch of neo-nazis in Greece and a horseback archery instructor. The circlejerk has spread to the Greek media, while even companies like the History Channel and the Discovery Channel have recruited them to provide re-enactments for documentaries.


For more information on the dangers of LARP, watch "Mazes and Monsters" with Tom Hanks, or:

LARP Trailer from Germany

LARP Gallery

See Also


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