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A fat whore is a big sloppy tub of shit with a cunt attitude, who puts out. If they are not fucking they're eating, sometimes they do both at the same time. Some very talented Fat Whores are able to fuck, eat, and edit Wikipedia all at the same time.
Usually referred to by the hot girls as 'a good listener' or commonly refer to their 'good heart' but that’s if you consider excessive cholesterol 'good.' They usually join sororities because they can't make friends on their own. They have a lot of energy, which will cause them an early death because her poor organs can't keep up with the bitches desire to scarf down twinkies while she cries herself to sleep yelling "I'M SOOO FAT...WHY CAN'T I STOP BEING SO FUCKING FAT" (NOM NOM NOM)
Likely to be herded by the lower class citizens who refer to themselves as "High Society". Ring leader is a known pedophile. Never seen, but likely heard from afar with his loud walrus like mating call. Found among the higher wilder lands of New Zealand.
Girls from the South are well known fat whores. Johns dumped their fat asses after sobering up and regaining their eyesight. It is believed most lost their virginity to tail pipes, hence their whore-like activity, as they seek out cock to match up to tail pipes.
Obesity is from their chronic loose vagina syndrome caused by the heat from the tailpipe fumes. Having sex with them is like throwing a hot dog down a hallway.
Fat Whores are rarely educated enough to know what the First Amendment is, which is fine because they don't deserve it anyway.
A fat girl is always found in a group of skinny friends. Skinny girls tend to keep the fat girls around so they feel better about themselves.
The fat whore can also take the shape of the DUFF, a horrible beast that serves as either a contraceptive or a source of lulz behind it's back. A DUFF is a Designated Ugly Fat Friend, and can be a primary source of non-sex with a pretty girl. As one should know, you got to get with the duff before you get with the girl. In addition to creating vast amounts of nonsex, the duff is a prime object to laugh at. Further lulz ensue when a duff attempts to act like a good looking girl.
The fat whore's only male counterpart is related to the Dancing Owen, a horrible animated person that serves as either a source of lulz in Stickam rooms if not kicked.
One in a million fat whores still have the capability to bring cockache to the masses. Their sexual appetite is as huge as their appetite for food, they tend to be three-hole girls, and unlike their thinner, weaker counterparts, they will try any damn perversion you care to experiment with because although they are hot, they are aware they are fat, and that their sex life may cease to exist at any given moment.
A tic-tac of extra weight could turn them from a Fatty I'd Like (to) Fuck straight back into a fat whore, so they're very eager to please.
Fun with FILF's
- Cover their ample bossoms in Hershey's syrup and watch them put on the show of a lifetime.
- Use a Mars Bar, sausage, popsicle or twizzler, as a replacement mini-dildo then watch them eat it afterwards. (Note - cucumbers and bananas do not work. Too much like health food).
- When they stop being a FILF and turn back into a fat whore, don't be mean. Video tape your exploits with hotter prettier women and play them to her. Let her bring herself off on your cock while you watch them together - see the competitive instict kick in!
The total opposite of a FILF, a Bulldyke is a fat whore that freely and openly attaches her fat grotesque figure to that of another Bulldyke. (see: Fat Dyke) This breed of fat whore is especially heinous, because of their inept ability to be shameless in their displays of public affection. This is usually seen in the form of holding hands, kissing and allowing their breasts (fat storage sacks that dangle from the upper torso) to roam loosely and act as a divining rod to get them to the next nearest bakery/KFC/McDonald's.
If you spot these types of individuals, immediately move yourself and any other persons in your party away from their line of sight. Resist the urge to shoot them with a tranquilizer gun and tag their ear but if you must, make sure the tranquilizer is elephant-grade or better as it can dissipate across the stored fat of the target and become ineffective.
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