Emmalina

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Emmalina looking like the camwhore junkie she is destined to become

Emmalina is an internet celebrity who is famous on YouTube and Livejournal for no reason whatsoever. Emmalina spends her time making pointless videos of herself talking and bobbing her head as if her neckbones were soaked in WD-40. Her hair changes color like a chameleon trapped in a Skittles truck, and accordingly every new video of her features a new hair color. She often ends her videos by lip synching or dancing her anorexic body, trying to shake the ironing board she calls an ass. (Example)(LOLREMOVED). Her movements are very similar to the way your mom used to dance in strip clubs, except with (shitty) Australian techno music. Needless to say whatever crap she decides to post will receive 1337 status due to many horny 13 year olds praying that they will be noticed by Emmalina among the thousands of other sexual predators who stalk her.

Unlike many Internet Celebrities, Emmalina actually acknowledges that whatever she puts up is utter bullshit, yet basks in her 15 minutes of fame before her beauty fades and she is tossed out and forgotten like your mom.

Biography

Emmalina was born into poverty on March 18, 1988 in the part of England we call Australia. With her mother crackwhoring and her father starring in numerous gay Austrialian porno films such as Outback Mountain and Crocodile Dundeez Nuts, Emmalina spent most of her time isolated from the real world in her obsessively pink eyesore of a room. She passed countless hours of solitude by taking emo pics of herself writing faggot poetry on her Livejournal, as well as trying to master her annoying British accent. Emmalina soon found out that sex sells after accompanying her parents to Take Your Daughter To Work Day. A short time later she discovered that nobody reads blogs anymore, and began to post random Youtube videos of herself talking about whatever was on her mind while wearing slutty outfits, eventually turning her into another Internets attention whore.

Accomplishments

Due to her skyrocketing popularity on Youtube, she has been on the Top Viewed list time after time, only beating out the video of your mom by 2 viewers. She now has a legion of fanboys kissing her ass and begging her for more provocative pics. Some go as far as try to pry into her Photobucket account. She has currently joined the ranks of the many internet celebrity girls who are victims of internet stalking.

Quitting the Internet Forever - August 2006

Emmalina in her YouTube heyday: With a face like that she'd better be flexible

After claiming that unreleased videos and pictures of herself and her boyfriend were stolen from her computer along with other "private" files, Emmalina has decided to quit YouTube forever as an attention whore stunt. Speculation is that the "stolen" files consist of Emmalina and her boyfriend doing the nasty to crap techno and were meant to be Emmalina's entree to camwhoredom or possibly the world of amateur porn.

"Someone somehow got hold of recent pictures and videos of my boyfriend and I, as well as incredibly private files. So the individual who emailed them to me, flaunting them, would either have required physical access to my computer or knowledge of what they were looking for and a backdoor vulnerability in my system."

"Every day I logged in and discovered more and more cruel spoofs, harassing videos, death and rape threats, incredibly nasty comments and God knows what else. I can't take it anymore. YouTube 'popularity' is hell unless you're a f---ing saint with nothing to hide, or you have indestructible confidence,"

Oh Hai, I'm back - November 2006

Emmalina returned during November 2006, by which time no one really remembered or cared about who she was (or who she had thought she was). She made some more of the same sort of videos that she always did while her remaining subscribers slowly lost the will to live.

OMGWTFZ SHE LEAVES AGAIN!!111!

Sometime last Thursday, Emmalina deleted almost all of her videos except for the ones about her retarded Christmas vacation and her pussycat. She updated her YouTube info to say that she's probably not going to upload any more videos although her Livejournal blog is still up for all to see. In conclusion we can assume that Emmalina's adventures in camwhoring have come to an end, but the lulz produced by her LJ should hold us over.

BACK (YET AGAIN) AND SOMEONE KNOCKED IT UP!

She's back on the tube and now full of some man's "love child." In the best case scenario, she's a "Hit it and Quit It" kind of girl. May Gods, Devils and any other fictional things have mercy on that poor child's soul.

Links

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