EDF 2: Electric Boogaloo
This is an article for the awesome live forum. For the defunct circlejerk see EDF1.
—Typical new member experience
EDF 2: Electric Boogaloo was the 3.5th incarnation of EDF, the Encyclopedia Dramatica Forums. Delve inside the shit-caked walls of an internet insane asylum, and you will find users with varying degrees of faggotry, unwarranted self-importance, alcoholism, drug addiction, furfaggotry and good old fashioned retardation— a veritable rainbow of horrifying mental disabilities forming the largest circlejerk on the interbutts, spawning what is undeniably the best forums evar!!11
Unfortunately, around the end of June 2011, a super skilled hacker brute forced Ryan's RSA keyless setup and figured out the forum database’s shockingly complex password, niggers1. Unveiling such a discovery, the forum was hacked and ruined with emails leaked. After nearly a month, the forum was back with an even more complex password (n1ggers), ensuring stability. EDF had risen again as EDF 2.0.1, this time, more fucking admins were added, resulting in immense dick-measuring and ban threats. The medal system was introduced to inject even more unwarranted self-importance into the gigantic ego bubble, awarding the drooling users for such uninteresting qualities as being a Nazi, a Communist, a hipster, an anti-hipster and so on.
EDF2 is by far the gayest of all the ED forums, and the future undoubtedly holds more homo upon the horizon.
- Noob Introduction Forum - The first place a filthy newcomer like you should gurgle out your name and why you are so damn happy to be walking the halls of our beautiful forums, only to be raped to death with words and slander.
- Hard Gay Chats - Basically the catch-all board to any pitiful subject that floats out of user's grey mushy minds, usually involving some new brilliant philosophical idea, or adamantly claiming how drunk you are, or both. A variety of topics lay strewn about this clusterfuck of a forum, all of them infused with the hardest and gayest of chats within. Note this forum usually has some kind of yearbook thread running, so you can visit that with a large bucket of eye bleach and scream yourself to insanity at how ugly all the users are. This forum also vomited up the most forced of forced memes, CIGARSEX. So clearly it's the hip place to be.
- Religion and Politics - Pretty much the worst place on the internet to discuss religion and politics, but a great place to hail satan erryday. Wrought with underachieving drug addicts discussing the meaning of life, and how their corresponding countries should be run, slowly boils down to large endless battles of NO U with a side of derailing monster hentai pornography so nobody gets bored. If you want to see Dr. Rice in her natural habitat, lurk here...
- Shitpost Metropolis - A great rolling city filled to the brim with gallons and gallons of shit. Not particularly different to the other forums, but this is the place where you officially shitpost. Spread it's walls with literally anything you can think of, and furiously masturbate to the outcome. Interestingly, people actually fight over who is the king of Shitpost Metropolis.
- Encyclopædia Dramatica Collaboration - The board where you discuss stuff that is actually about the wiki that spawned these forums in the first place. So naturally it's deserted.
- Personae non Beefis - A place to whinge and complain about all of EDF2's problems, all falling upon deaf ears while the staff get high and play with their penises.
- Computers, Internet and Technology - l33t haxors only!!11! Come here to talk about some new irc program that has been farted out and beg users to lend you monies for more RAM.
- News - A board about copypasting stupid shit from old media happening outside of your Basement.
- EDF Lulz Media Library - A collection of all the lulziest media we can scrape up out of the internet. Has not been working for almost a year now and no one seems to care.
- Your Shitty Projects - Building a gigantic papier-mâché cock? Drew an eye-gougingly bad MS Paint comic you made about your day? Picture's of your murder victims? This is the place to dump all those pathetic pet projects that nobody cares about.
- Space Ghetto - A place to endlessly post all your unfunny pictures, expect repost after repost of images you have already seen on 4chan fifty billion times.
- Hall of Æpic - Forum's Staff-picked archival service. As expected from the Staff, they tend to choose the most boring unfunny threads for archival due to high levels of faggotry present in all ED staff.
- Ænonymous - A board for posting anonymously, secretly reveal who you have a crush on here. Or post scat porn.
- Trolls - Post here any nefarious deeds you have acted out in the series of tubes, concoct new schemes to make unwilling computer users rage, and call people a faggot. irl trolling counts too, so if you have stolen candy from a baby in your local park, post pics of their sobbing face in this forum. Only used for personal army requests by 16 year olds butthurt over getting rejected by a girl from their school.
- DeviantArt - Populated by the EDF2 elitist squad, who refuse to post anywhere else on the forum and who's nose is points so high up that they can hardly see the keyboard. Much lulz are to be had on such threads as "What The Fuck Fetishes" and "Shit On The Front Page" which may lead to a lose of desire to live. A minimum of 9 bans from DA required to post on the DA subforum. HGC posters and Tom Preston fanboys need not apply.
- Jewtoob - A board about the toobs and the faggots surrounding them.
- Weeaboo shit- A board to laugh at the sad bloated faces of forever alone users pitifully talking about sailor moon or some shit in depressingly empty threads.
- Furfaggotry - Where people whine about furries then secretly go jack off to yiffy pr0nz
- Gæmers - Other than threads existing only to make the board just like /v/ for 4chan rejects, the only other thing that comes out of this board is the occasional "ED (insert shit MMO here) server" thread, because you know the first thing you want to do when you are a part of a group famous for its backstabbing heartlessness you want to join it's group on your favorite game.
- Ponies - It's like Equestria with Nazis, where resident EDF bronies clop away to Derpy Hooves Rule34 and spread the magic of friendship. Slowly spreading to other area's of the forums, reminiscent of the infection of /b/ except with more lying down and taking it like a little slut.
- Group Shower Warmups - Discuss your favorite sports with your buttbuddies in the gym shower.
- Lucha - EDF2's favorite sport of Aztec warfare involving masks.
- Science - Talk about science and the weird shit it created.
- PARTY HARD - Dance your balls off and talk about drugs.
- Foodz & booze - Talk about cum sandwiches, absinthe and dong cakes.
- The Locker Room - Explain your sweaty awkward sexual experiences here and we promise
notto laugh wholeheartedly at your miserable excuse for a sex life.
- Music, Movies and Media- A place where the most abhorrent cultural taste known to man is paraded about with no remorse.
- Niggers1 - This was seriously the password Ryan set for the EDF2 database. God only knows how it was up for a full three months before the inevitable brute force.
- ***Official Thread of X*** - Started by holy roller ChristianWarrior94 with the post ***OFFICIAL THREAD OF CHRISTIANITY***. Surrounding the title of a thread with triple *'s has set the standard for officialdom.
- Negi's dong - See gallery below.
- Die In A Fire's tits - Lost in space, but countless stories have been told and retold of the super kawaii horror that grazed EDF for a few hours one horrid day.
- oddguy - Everyone in the ænonymous board are actually Oddguy, the resident Jew (who is inexplicably a Mod).
- COMIC SANS - The officially sanctioned font of EDF2.
- The day where everyone got a yellow name and admin user title.
- The day where everyone under a certain post count got "Sockpuppet of Fumo161" as a user title.
- Tagging @oddguy @oddguy @oddguy repeatedly in comments.
- WARRIORED - Nobody wants to be warriored. Come to EDF2 and you will get warriored. HARD. Gay forced meme created by Sugar Bombs to mock Beefrave's sock fueled Asperger attack.
- Fez Avatars - Based on a Facebook picture by Atomic Joe, when ED temporarily lost the .se domain the remaining members who were smart enough to edit their hostmask files donned the red fez to signify their allegiance to the new
- lol fgt ahhhahahahah lol u suk bals ololoololollololoolollollol - Possibly the greatest line ever written. Posted by some guy making a personal army request, specifying what not to say to him.
- RAP IS FOR CRIMINALS - Self explanatory forced meme created by ilovejesus69. Evolved to X IS FOR CRIMINALS.
- Scumhook is managing his account details - he literally does this for 6 hours a day.
- Yu-Gi-Oh cards
- *rubs belly* - Originally a phrase used by Schnookums in one of his furfag cyber sex sessions with Linkermann.
- (insert words here)/11, nevar forget* - Originating from one of EDF's frequent movie nights. Pretty self explanatory.
- BBBBBBIIIIIIRRRRRRRDDDDDDSSSSSS!* - From the EDF movie night that featured birdemic.
- Foodfight! - A movie so terrifying it haunts the survivors of the EDF movie night to this day.
- Wilkins Anti-Rap Squad - A group started by ilovejesus69. Dedicated to fighting the tyranny of inferior coffee brands and spread the word of Wilkins instant coffee.
- Wilkins Coffee - The Official Coffee of EDF2
Well Known Faggots
Zaiger - Floating above the fray like a clam scented angel, the driving force behind ED, keeps the joint humming when he isn't drunk or high on heroin.Kicked out of ED for stealing donation money and is now homeless and addicted to crack.
- Oddguy☪ - EDF's resident jew, poster of inane shitposting or inane serious posting, either way the quality of his writing is always punctuated by the worst grammar/spelling known to man. Will edit Wiki pages in exchange for head.
- Likeicare - Borderline retarded meth-head and part-time drug lord. Known for attention whoring and penis posting. Openly brags about once making 1000 posts in 14 days.
- ilovejesus69 - An extremely unmemorable person who babysits the snake pit known as EDF2. If oddguy had tits and wasn't so bitchy, the result would be ilovejesus69. Literally does nothing whatsoever, but in an attempt to be interesting, ilovejesus69 pretends to have an obsession with violent porn.
- SeeBeen - Sysadmin of Siberian origin. Comes, avoids actually doing anything, breaks the forum server and disappears.
- Solution -Some loser with PTSD that uses the forums as therapy
- Negi Springfield - The tiny cock princess of EDF2.
- EmilyPlays - A 15 year old boy who wishes to be the little girl and even contemplated chopping his penis off. permabanned in 2011 for posting cheeze pizza on the forums, but unbanned by Zaiger less than a year later. Still has not been seen despite the unbanning.
- SuperSpecialSuperStar - The most consistently bad poster on EDF, with every word he types making you wish you could reach through the computer screen and tear his throat out. Believed to be a 13-year-old chinese boy and creator of the Frog Mercenary.
In reality the greatest poster who will be forever missed after his latest ban/rage quit.DISREGARD THAT, I SUCK COCKS - Returned after his ragequit (got banned from every other forum he tried to post in withing days) and now posts using at least 17 sock puppets.
- Rev Junco - Chubby little 13-year-old boy with a penchant for stalking any female member of the site, eventually got himself Permabanned for posting his underage cock in the all over the forum. Allowed to return solely because people enjoy using him as a punching bag.
- rst8 - A young tweenster that managed to figure out how to use a computer, joined EDF and never stopped being a homo since, prone to leaving then returning in a hissy fit. Also confirmed furfag.
- Tyciol - Resident pedophile.
- Uberfukken - Faggot. Known for getting into long bitchfights on the forums and for complaining about the number of spics living in his shitty town, on the shoutbox. But still this faggot only watches spicporn, where the "female" is 50+ of age, and 300+ pounds.
Hall Of Shame
Because the forum has a no ban policy it is almost impossible to get banned no matter how big of a faggot you are. That is why it is up to the other users on the forum to get rid of unwanted members by "encouraging" them to go away. But most of the time the disgraced users are kept around as deflated lolcows, occasionally milking them for some dusty lulz.
- Another_n00b - A young gentleman who very much lived up to his username by strutting around attempting to change the wiki in the worst possible ways. Then after being told to GTFO he fled to EDF where he deposited the most butthurt tl;dr goodbye message known to the internets, earning himself a place in the hall of shame. Later, when his flounce was quoted in QOTN he came back to beg the admins to stop.
- Onideus -
ED admin andfaggot in every way conceivable. It is believed that if every single member put him on ignore, he would still make threads and talk to himself, posting about the wiki and failing to realise nobody gives a fuck. It should be noted that the mail delivery service in Walla Walla, WA is incredibly convenient, as every time he gets e-bullied too much, *poof*, theres another package of LEGO waiting for him at the door, just screaming at him to log off and go make some more plastic masterpieces.
- DocEvil - Wannabe nazi holocaust denier who was made an admin and attempted to gain E-fame by transforming Shitpost Metropolis into his own personal army entitled SMYD forums, and furiously writing himself into this article. After he had his privs removed he attempted to make his own EDF2 twice (three times if you count a previous attempt at making an image board), and when that didn't work he threatened to hunt down Zaiger at ROFLCON with a gang of 4chan admins and kill him. Now lurking the forgotten recesses of the internet with a swastika scraped into his forehead, roughly fondling his balls to guro child porn.
- KKKoonhater - Another troll wannabe no one cared about until he invited his fat, ugly, old, jew girlfriend to the forum. They insisted on being an attractive couple despite various physical abnormalities proving otherwise, which were swiftly pointed out by various members of EDF. He and his blimp of a gal-pal boiled with butthurt at these truthful comments on their hideousness and he vowed to take revenge by taking down EDF2 with the help of his epic troll group which was really just a sad, old man turned troll named Flaglerchat. B& and possibly hacked, now having sad unfulfilling sex with his
- DGTrixie - One of ED's many GOTIS infected whores. Unfortunately, you can't even fap to this one due to the fact that she is a gassy, ancient librarian and manatee.
- Drmusic2010 - A Werecomedian and the female equivalent to Chris-chan, who is currently married to Magnum. see much more information on her sad lolcow fate in her article.
- Fumo161 - Came to EDF to spread the word of anonymous in the most newfag way physically possible. Was instantly shot down into a flaming carcass by every other user on the site. He attempted to create various sockpuppets to regain some vague appearance of dignity, but there isn't a sock thick enough to cover this weedy little fellow's intense cancerous ways, so he was instantly outed. Eventually his faggotry reached critical mass, so he was immediately doxd and spiraled into a weeping mass, currently rocking backward and forward in a corner of his parents house, occasionally muttering annonymoos is leegun annonymoos is leegun...
- swishy - Another EDF user infected with extreme GOTIS, hailing from south Carolina and the epitome of trailer trash. She posted noods within roughly 3.12 seconds of joining, and then announced her pregnancy to the whole board. Then made a thread pretending to have had an abortion. Then said she didn't actually have an abortion. All this for that glorious attention she so desperately craves. Eventually doxed to the point of having to change address.
- Umkemesik - Mexicano failtroll who tried to Take Down ED. Failed, doxed, pwned, presumably skinned alive by niggers. Finally allowed to return after he begged Zaiger to unban him.
- Messyjessie- A white trash GOTIS whore who came to the forum to share her epic tale of fail ,and criminal record. ALSO DID WE MENTION SHE WAS A WHORE?! Banned for stalking Zaiger and now resides on our tinychat channel in desperation for human interaction, even with people who hate her. Will ask everyone to bring Oddguy on Tinychat so she can terrorise him with her vagina.
- ElectricYiff - AKA ExplosiveDiareah (or more accurately "ExplosiveSperg"), this self-hating autistic furry got notorious for making several shitty threads in which he randomly raged over things that no one really gave a shit about, from Liam Neeson to crappy superhero crap to Dreamworks movies. Whenever he was contradicted or had his retarded statements debunked, he threw tantrums that consisted in spamming the topic with godawful furry porn. His greatest moment was when he disagreed with the recent addition to the mod team (he made over 9000 threads about who HE thinks should be a mod) and decided to overthrow him by PMing people about it and sperging until he was fagtagged, which caused a massive anal devastation and consequently ragequit.
- Racketeer - An emo faggot pedophile who left the forums in disgrace and literally vowed to take down EDF2 when he returned. Currently back and butthurt more than ever. Winner of the second annual "2012 EDF2: Faggot Of The Year Award". Seemingly doesn't understand that you don't need to sign in to lurk the forums
- Pinktits - Upon entering the forum she seemed like the standard attention whore, but wait, theres moar! IT'S A TRAP!!! Within the space of one page she asked if anyone wanted to cyber plox , offered to send cheese pizza,said she once fapped with a knife and revealed that she was a hermaphrodite. After her dox exposed she was only pretending to be a loli and a steady stream of abuse hurled at her calling her fat she stopped posting, never to return again.
- Silverhaze06 - Flooded images of black power cock while being doxed, pretended to be his ex and posted all her nudes, ex joined the forums and became more popular than him. Last seen committing seppuku.
- Cyn - Refused to show her virtually non-existing tits, and kept berating on how she was ashamed of her minuscule cup-size, but still wouldn't show them. Was trolled relentlessly when she dared move out of the DeviantArt subforum. Got doxed.
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