Dental dam

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Note: not to be confused with the biting block, a device intended to make sucking large, lengthy cocks, especially into the throat without any risk of biting, easier.

Right way
Wrong way

Dental dams were invented for one reason and one reason only, for gays to lick filthy gay anatomy. This lesbian condom is used by dykes to make their passionless sex even more antiseptic, and fags would use them to eat ass if they weren't tweaking on meth so hard they confused "prophylactic" with "pterodactyl" and figured some dinosaur fursuits would protect them from AIDS.

They are a barrier to keep your whore mouth from getting what it deserves. For sucking dick, people instead use condoms. The proper way to put on a condom is to take it in your mouth and put it over the penis while still in your mouth and then suck on the dick a bit until it's hard.

To get the "Cunnilingus with a dental dam" experience, just lick a party balloon. Real men get their faces wet with pussy juice, not spit.

For Added Fun

When eating ass or pussy through a dental dam, you can increase your partner's pleasure by applying lube to the side touching them. Of course, you don't give a rat's ass about their pleasure or you'd buck up like a good little soldier and suck that shit instead of ruining it with unnecessary latex. It's not like you're going to get pregnant. Be sure to use oil-based lube as we all know that's safer.

Dental dams are often flavored and scented so you can forever associate bananas with the earthy palate and bouquet of your lover's butthole. Parents, use this to your advantage when you discover a fifth of 99 Bananas under Junior's bed and want a way to break him of his drinking habit. It is always a good idea to flip the dam over after you've licked it clean of taste.

Get Crafty!

Rednecks, black person, and crust punks are welcome to make their own dental dams by trimming the tip and one side off a condom [1]. Use a square of garbage bag for maximum DIY hotness.


Remember: "yes, but you have to use a dam" means the same as "no".

See Also

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