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Garrick Colwell, boy genius

Darksidered992 aka Garrick Leighton Colwell's history of parental neglect wouldn't fit in an Encyclopedia, so we went to the next best thing. Garrick is the pinnacle of EEEEPIC WEEEEEENNNNN, depending on who you ask . With a perfectly round head, and delusions of ginger kid grandeur; Garrick created epic win in the basement of his mother's suburban home in the small town of Spokane, Washington. Garrick never fails to surprise even the most loyal followers. When not busy uploading vlogs and surprising himself, Garrick can be found fucking up your internets experience by emitting a series of high frequency noises and complaining about how much of an abusive bitch his mother is.

The Birth of a Lulzcow

Darksidered is not self-aware to the level of troll history he has created for himself. His repressed memories produce the byproducts of moralfaggotry, ginger rants, and autistic cyberbabble. His backstory was provided to us by his thousands upon thousands of posts on the Washington tourneyfag community forum. In fact according to Smashwiki, (Darkside)Red modified his own wiki page because of events revealing the Aging Greys hidden agenda to expose Garrick for the annoying little ginger shit he is. The craziest thing about all this is how little people care, especially when there are funnier things to do on ED than pick on twelve y/o retards.

(Darkside)Red is a player for Washington SSBM game tourneys who is very technical and possess fast fingers. His brother is Spike-O. His mains are Falco, Fox, or Marth, His secondaries are Luigi and Ganondorf".


—What Smashwiki is trying to say is that Garrick is "Autastic"

In the beginning, there was only Garrick and the Tourneyfags in Washington. Garrick wanted to belong with the tourneyfags. Striving to be accepted by 20-year-old strangers, because his parents didn't care about young Garrick talking to people he didn't know. They allowed Garrick to hitch a ride with "Eggz" who is another Tourneyfag, to Gameclucks, which is a LAN party center about two hours away from his city. This is documented in the forum postings, along with unfortunate evidence of the tourneyfags ragging on Garrick for being an autistic ginger bitch.

I'm no shy kid,I'll prove it to you next also.I'm not going to tolerate your bull**** irl.


—Darksidered992 on Eggz

Epic Ween Trolling

The following are just a few of the many epic weens Garrick achieved throughout his YouTube tenure.

Various Ween

Feel the insanity that is DarkSideRed...

DarkSideRed vs. Kings of the Streets

Back when Garrick first came onto YouTube he was fascinated with Made2Order555. He would watch and favorite all his videos and worship his e cock. Garrick would make sure that Made2Order knew of his presence, by commenting every video and telling him about how EPPPPIIIICCCCC WEENNNNNN he is. Garrick became obsessed with his internet troll God. He began to have dreams about Cyan every night, he wished that he could suck his dick irl. Sadly though Made2Order would not allow Garrick to suck his dick, and he became aware of Garrick's faggotry. This made Red very upset and so he began to troll Made2Order's troll group the Kings of the Streets. The trolling of KOTS was basically just Garrick making shitty videos about them and screaming into the low budget camera, that his Mother bought him. The trolling of the Kings was a lulz worthy attempt for awhile. But soon it got old and Garrick started to piss off his fellow internet friends. Garrick not knowing what to do, started to troll Jerry Salerno, long time affiliate of the Kings of the Streets. The "trolling" of ~js was mostly Garrick shouting out stupid memes made by newfags and screaming that Jerry is a pedophile and an oldman.

Darksidered and The Curtain Incident

Atomic.gif Warning!

It is a well known fact that Garrick and his mother Mary have a bad relationship between each other. Unlike real Mother and Son relationships which consist of hugging, kissing and spending "quality time" together, Garrick and his mom spend their time arguing and calling each other names. Garrick's mother Mary is upset at the fact that she failed to abort him when he was a fetus taking up space in her stomach. Regardless of the fact that she gave birth to Garrick, Mary Colwell has never been a true mother to her son. In the 5 part video of their ridiculous argument (which will be featured below) you can see for yourself how badly these two behave towards one another. Just be glad that your relationship with your mother is still good, after all she let's you live in her basement. (The video was removed, and re-upload is pending)

Getting Epic Ween Trolled

The good times came to a close for Garrick.

Graduation Day for DarkSideRed

On June 5, 2010 Garrick Colwell finally graduated from high school in Spokane Washington. His graduation ceremony was held on June 5th at five o clock pm. Evidence of this event has been found on the internet prove below. Back in 2009 a few good men decided to call Garrick's school pretending to be his father.

Garrick hacked on YouTube

Sometime Last Thursday Garrick's YouTube account was phished by Skuee and his butt buddies. Resources say that the little ginger nut got hacked because...well, just because nobody likes annoying 14 year old's. The result of his hacking was an uproar of YT trolls spamming his channel asking what happened and so fourth. The hacker uploaded a video saying that he was going to "destroy" Darksidred and several other trolls. On top of this faggotry the hacker aka Skuee allowed BodyXPolitic to upload a video on his account. The result of the video was nothing more than 13 year old boy nerd rage and facepalming by anyone who watched it. In the end Garrick made a new, new, new account claiming "that it was all in fun," and nobody got hurt.

The Visit

Sometime in early June, 2010, a troll paid Garrick a visit asking him to come back on YouTube. To say the least, Garrick acted unfazed and maybe a little shocked at most. When he later came back to the internet he spent a good time complaining about how this "parasite had visited him".

<video type="vimeo" id="12479650" width="400" height="300" desc="

I'm not laughing


—Garrick Colwell's reaction to being asked to say EPIC WEEN.

" frame="true" position="center" allowfullscreen="true"/>

He would later say that the troll had illegally recorded him even though he was aware of the camera and had even waved at it.

Garrick made his return to the internet in August 2010, which brings us to...

Operation RedDeath

Atomic.gif Warning!
Garrick came back and flagged down every single video. Feel free to call Mary and tell her what her idiot son has been doing! 1-(509)-714-7603 :)

<video type="vimeo" id="17544838" width="400" height="300" desc="" frame="true" position="center" allowfullscreen="true"/>

The start of something beautiful...

In the fall/winter of 2010, several trolls managed to discover a whole new side of Garrick. Epic ween was no longer the epitome of Garrick-isms. The ginger bitch proved he was much, much more fail than what had been previously thought, as a complex and elaborate trolling scheme was put into motion.

The most amazing thing you’ll ever see from me is when we actually have sexual intercourse


—Garrick being sexy for his fake e-girlfriend

Fortunately for us all, the answer was yes. Among the treasures received included nudes, attempted fap vids, evidence of terrible acne (upon which he uses rubbing alcohol), embarrassing audio about the inability to eject male sex cells from his urethra, a tour of his house, photos of the never before seen Alton and Spiko, videos directed at trolls, and this weird little zit on his left asscheek.

Starting in August 2010, Garrick decided it was a good idea to hop back on ye olde internete. The instant he was on, trolls were gearing up for round two. A female troll, using a pseudonym "Emma Grey," engaged Darksidered992 in casual conversation, eventually seducing and entangling him in a false e-lationship. During the trolling operation, now called “RedDeath”, nudes were dropped, videos were made, and lulz were had.

Cast and Crew

The RedDeath Trolls assumed various identities during the operation. They are as follows:

Emma Grey - The first troll to be sent out during RedDeath. Online girlfriend of Garrick Colwell, expert information extractor, and femme fatale. Convinced Garrick to send nudes of himself among many other lulzy things.

Dennis Grey - Emma's dad. Garrick was known to say hi to him in a very annoying high pitched voice.

Barbara "BAHBRAH" Grey -Emma's mom who encouraged Garrick to go back to school. She was later going to host a party for him but she accidentally bought the food he disliked.

Grandma Shelby Grey - Emma's senile grandmother. Was actually played by two people in distinctly different voices but Garrick was too thick to notice.

Brent Stromer - Emma’s ex-boyfriend. Became good friends with Garrick early on in the saga, and revealed an entirely different facet of Garrick’s personality: the self-important tough guy.

John Christopher “JC” Townsend and Julia Denton - This pair were once dating, but for reasons unknown, no longer are an item. JC is the wealthy son of a banker, who lives in what can only be described as “Batman’s mansion.” JC is fucking loaded and has no qualms with throwing money at random ginger bitches he meets online. Julia, however, is a good friend of Garrick’s, and had a very celebrated, if short lived, romantic incident about halfway through the saga. tl;dr Garrick said he loved her while still being with Emma.

"Cash Money" Malcolm Townsend - JC's father and owner of Bank of America. He wants nothing more than employees who will do what's asked of them.

Jeremy McMann - A flamboyantly gay interior designer extraordinaire. While not making an appearance until later in the saga, he’s basically just a 39-year-old gay dude. Garrick was impressed with Jeremy’s ability to “read his mind” while Jeremy talked about decoration options for Garrick’s room in Wayne Manor.

TL;DR this shit was more complex and less thought-out than the average soap opera and required hours of talking and being friends with Garrick.

Operation RedDeath lasted from August to December 2010.

The Colwell Residence Tour

Garrick, being the oblivious moron he is, seemed enthusiastic when delivering a five-part tour of his shitty Spokane home for “Emma’s eyes only.” Unfortunately for Garrick, this video, along with all the others, was shared amongst all of the RedDeath Operatives at which they could piss themselves in laughter. Not on the floor, of course.

How do I slapped dick

No, seriously.

The overarching goal of the RedDeath Operatives was to get an actual fap video of the now 18-year-old Garrick, or perhaps a CWC-esque “cum-recycling.” However, they were dumbfounded by the response with which their attempts were met. Garrick. Couldn’t. Cum. Instead of a normal fap video, the trolls recieved a video of the ginger jerking around his penis, unsure of what exactly to do to get himself off and looking like he was strangling a flesh-colored herring. Garrick sent said video in three parts. While the first video was hilarious in itself, showing Garrick sitting naked on his floor, treating his “little Gar Gar” like the redheaded stepchild Garrick ought to have been, the second video had an unexpected treat that the trolls laughed about for weeks. Much to the surprise of everyone involved, Garrick showed his excellent masturbation skills by urinating on the floor and his bathroom’s space heater. He then filmed himself pissing in the toilet. Twice. The ensuing facepalm was felt the world over. But none of this matters because at the end of the day, it’s totally alright to send a video like this to a female you’ve never met in person. The third video is about the same as the first except Garrick accidentally smacks the camera with his dick while flopping it around. Then he pees again, this time hitting the top of the toilet. Emma asked Garrick about why he didn’t cum in the video. His only response was “I have yet to master the technique.

<video type="slutload" id="BTmLlV6bVrx/Darksidered992-Fapping" width="300" height="225" desc="Garrick's "technique" is truly a sight to behold." frame="true" position="center" allowfullscreen="true"/>

Grow n’ Grow

"It's at 3. On the par."

While explaining how he masturbates, Garrick revealed that he doesn’t seem to know the appropriate technique for actually fucking jizzing. As if it were difficult. He DID, however, explain that he simply gets a boner and enjoys the feeling of his “dense organ” in his pants.

Multiplex: My organ is dense now.



Unfortunately, Garrick gave Emma a clear view of his organ, among other things.


Expand gallery at your own risk - WHAT HAS BEEN SEEN CANNOT BE UNSEEN!
Noodz (Don't Say We Didn't Warn You) About missing Pics

Dat Dirt

Garrick, in his oblivious stupor, apparently remains unable to do anything even remotely erotic. That includes talking dirty.

Mm Mm those lips mm mmm Emma. I just wanna SMOOCH 'EM.


— Garrick’s Sexy Tiem


Now im imagining you holding my head and licking my face.




I’m imagining you looking at me while I tell you how rare you are among the human race as I passionately kiss you.


—Put it in her pooper


I was just adding some talk and you agree and we have a 69.




(6:34 PM) Hot Water: and then we get naked and you suck my penis and I lick your pussy. We are just awwwing in pleasure.


—dat onomatopoeia


before the sex and then you hug me and say I want a man.


—Because Garrick is all man, baby


I’m imagining you are drowning in a mud pool and I rescue you and comfort you to show my loyalty and servility to a one of a kind person.


—Garrick talking dirty, literally.

Garrick the Pillow Rapist

Seeming to follow a trend set by other lolcows, Garrick proved his sexual ineptitude by making out with his finger, a wall, and then thrusting his useless cock into a pillow a grand fucking total of three times before getting tuckered out.


During the afternoon of October 27th 2010, a very upset Garrick signed into MSN and began ranting to Emma about an unfortunate experience he had 25 minutes earlier at Walmart. Emma asked him what happened and was presented with this block of text.

The Walmart in question.
Snake Pit: I just got back after being forced to waste an estimated 25 minutes of my life at walmart. I am NEVER going back to that place again. At the moment I am so hostile I could just light the whole place on fire. I told them I had a transfer of a medicine for my face and it took them 15 minutes to ever verify that, they said I would have to pay 69 dollars for a small tube for my face. I went over to the drop off to get it and they said I needed to bring my insurance card with me next time. They were confusing as well with where exactly to stand. After I was forced to sign for that lousy medicine while they confused me and made me look like a bafoon. I went over to a blood pressure machine to check my blood pressure and accidentally did it the incorrect way, the man came over and told me it works better if I did it the way it says on the sign. I interupted and said "yeah I know." I gave them a really nasty look. I never should have been there in the first place. Giant waste of time.1/5 never coming back.


—Garrick's Walmart adventure

Garrick had gone to Walmart to pick up his acne medication and had then complained about having to pay for it because he forgot his insurance card. It didn't end there though. After Garrick had received his acne medication, he had a temper tantrum inside Walmart.

I actually had an outburst there, I spit the ground over there and gave that place the finger. I also hit some walls as well.


—Garrick being a child.

Garrick forgot about his hatred for Walmart a month later when he returned there to purchase minutes for his phone as well as a new pair of pants.


On Halloween, 2010, an old friend paid Garrick a little visit. Donning a sombrero and an “Aging Greys” dust mask, the same troll who had visited him before who he didn’t care about and the troll's accomplice decided to show up at Garrick’s place of residence. While somewhat a failure in and of itself, the trolls showed up just as Garrick and his father, Alton, were departing for a local pizza place. However, Garrick noticed their presence, which may or may not have been because of a charming note that was taped to the door with gratuitous amounts of duct tape. Regardless of the amount of success of the second visit, Garrick still felt compelled to bitch about it for the rest of the night, claiming that “unripened ones” visited him, and claiming that he would use violence against the unwanted guests.

I probably was going to get my bat and beat him over the head so he’d never come back and bother me again


—-Garrick on how he will get rid of the parasites

Extreme Makeover: Garrick Edition

A picture trolls edited of the room that Garrick requested.

If that wasn’t enough, the events that followed surely left a mark on the carrot-dick, and it wasn't long before he decided that it was time to get out of Spokane and move to New York, where his beloved Emma lived. Emma told him it would be great if he could visit her sometime, but Garrick took that as “I think I’ll just fucking move in" and decided to kiss up to JC's rich ass so he'd get a room.

The trolls decided to run with this, and as a result, they recruited another troll who would play the role of Jeremy McMann to consult with Garrick how his new bedroom would look. Garrick just assumed everything would just be handed to him in New York since JC was rich and requested custom made furniture, a king size bed, an entertainment system with a 52 inch flatscreen HDTV, “cyan” colored wallpaper for his bedroom with a key shaped “G” painted above the bed, and a brand new Windows 7 Alienware laptop.

In a later call, Jeremy explained to Garrick that the king-sized bed was ready, and asked if Garrick “needed help breaking it in.” Garrick declined, obviously uncomfortable, and said later that his memory of the call was “fuzzy.” Proving that Garrick’s experience (repressed memories notwithstanding) with homosexuals is untrodden territory for the ginger faggot. Garrick claimed he deserved this change of pace, claiming that Eastern Washington was a “wasteland” and that he’d much rather be a wealthy 18-year-old banker in New York (with no math skills except being able to multiply up to 4 numbers together). After speaking with JC’s father “Cash Money” Malcolm Townsend, Garrick even went on a math spree, feebly attempting to teach himself advanced algebra.

Garrick’s name change

Among the things Garrick wanted to do upon moving to New York included changing his name. He thought his old name of Garrick Colwell had been “smeared” by his past internet experiences and this very ED page. What did Garrick want to change his name to? He decided on ‘’’Gordian Garrick Leighton’’’ Previous ideas for his name change included:

  • Garrick Labyrinth Leighton
  • Gordian Garrick Labyrinth
  • Garrick Quagmire Leighton
  • Garrick Jigsaw Leighton
  • Garrick Enigma Leighton
  • Garrick Gordian
  • Leighton Labyrinth

...and a bunch of other retarded shit names that supposedly made him “unique”. Garrick assumed this process would take a short amount of time and could be done immediately and easily, much like everything else he thought during Red Death.

Laying Waste to a Corrupt Memory

Emma, being a master manipulator, encouraged Garrick's idea to set fire to his high school graduation cap and gown. Since he hated his years at Shadle Park High School, it only makes sense that he would want to destroy everything that reminds him of his embarrassing past. Attempts to get him to destroy his diploma were unsuccessful because he couldn’t find it anywhere in the house. Maybe he pissed on it. And here. We. GO!

Not Feeling So Well

Barbara Grey, Emma’s mother, proved to Garrick to be quite the matriarchal hoop to jump through. And an intimidating one at that. After Bahbrah gave Garrick the third degree, she sought to apologize and offered to pay for 18 credit-hours of classes in Spring Quarter in New York. Garrick suddenly developed a case of the Collywobbles and fucking hung up, completely glossing over the fact that Barbara couldn't legally sign him up for classes.

Uh... uh... Well I don’t feel so well now. *click*


—Garrick’s reaction to a higher education in general

The Falis Treatment

Garrick, believing he was gearing up for a successful future career in banking under “Cash Money’s” watchful eye, was told that he would be undergoing the Falis Treatment, named such after Cash Money’s right-hand-man, Falis Bollox.

You're Mr. Townsend's next Falis.




Could I explain how like fallis, I have a weakness that needs correcting for advanced use. And than I would compare myself to falis.


—Garrick comparing himself to a banker penis


Falis is kind of a softy. He's not hard enough on people. He might be now though. Idk.


—Emma being a bit more obvious with the dick humor. Garrick still didn’t get it.

Garrick submitted a total of two job “interviews” to Malcolm because he believes this is how he would get a job in New York. Srsly. Not to mention that the videos themselves were of shoddy quality with obvious instant-cuts to different moments in time, stupid lighting, and terrible tutorials on how to use a fucking Texas Instrument 84 calculator. He also says “phallus” twice without realizing the penis jokes and forgets his name at one point, calling himself Garrick in one frame and calling himself Gordian in another in a span of less than 5 seconds.

I am now summoning the pi icon.


—Garrick during a job interview

Garrick's intense USI

"I was trying to look cute."

One of the major things the trolls discovered about Garrick was that he had a lot more USI than previously assumed. He is also a hardcore cheapskate and refuses to spend money on things.

so what would you make me for breakfast if we spent the night together? :3


—Garrick, assuming that his girlfriend would make breakfast for him every morning.


Emma: You think you deserve this, right?
Labyrinth: I do. I know I do.



—Garrick deserves to fly to New York for fake people.


Hmmm...well rings are tokens of a relationship.It's really just the cost that drives me away from purchasing a ring. I could probably get one in a little machine for maybe 50 cents.


—Garrick, proposing to his girlfriend with a gumball machine ring.


labyrinth is just part of my intricate nature.


—Garrick on why his name should be changed to labyrinth


Emma: Will you bring some food?
Labyrinth: Yes. What about airline food?
Emma: I think that costs money.
Labyrinth: Like the meals they serve.
Emma: Yeah, you have to buy it.
Labyrinth: Well if thats what its going to be, fuck it.
Emma: No airline food?
Labyrinth: Nah, If I really have to pay for it.




I dont know why I would have to pay for my bags to be checked seeing as I payed for the ticket.|Garrick complaining again...|

Shit Gets Real

A picture of the plane ticket that Garrick sent to Emma.
Garrick's temp ID that he used to board the plane.

While the trolls naturally assumed Garrick would figure out he was being trolled with all the ridiculous things they were having him do, they were sorely mistaken. Garrick was serious about moving in and believed every single word they told him, and to their surprise, on November 17th, 2010 Emma had received a photo of Garrick’s one way plane ticket to New York booked and set to arrive on December 1st for $169. That’s right, Garrick became so immersed in this fantasy that had been created for him that he did not even realize how his new-found “good luck” could possibly be too good to be true. Even after they made him sing ridiculous songs, dance like an idiot, dress up in a suit and tie for a mock interview, take stupid photos, and had a stereotypical gay designer talk to him about buttsex. Garrick was now officially on his way to moving across the country to New York to stay with a person he had never seen a photo of or received a phone number for. The trolls even had to remind him to bring money for basic human necessities and minutes for his pre-paid phone because the dumb fuck couldn’t even think for himself.

I'm bringing seven Rice Krispies treats


—Garrick's survival food for his 8 hour flight.

Regardless of the cruel outcome, the trolls did at least try to troll him out of getting trolled. tl;dr they told him to bring at least 200 bucks so that he could buy a ticket home and not be stranded in New York. Too bad the little shit didn't listen and was going to travel across the country with only 13 dollars in his pocket because he assumed his friends would pay for everything. Emma later told him he should even consider postponing the trip so that he wouldn't go and the trolls could take a different route. However, it was much too late. Garrick complained about the ticket being non-refundable and later begged Alton for $200. On the morning of December 1st, he was on his way.

Im moving to new york to start banking with a rich family that wants me to move in with them. Byebye insane asylum, hello lavishness.


—Garrick to everyone on his Facebook

Aftermath and Reaction

The OperationRedDeath trailer was released during midnight of December 1st 2010 while Garrick was asleep in bed resting up for his flight. They then tried repeatedly calling him during the wee hours of the morning to make sure the little ginger nut didn't miss his plane. A call to Alton confirmed that he had made the flight and was currently en route to New York city. Upon the arrival of his flight, the trolls called him. Many attempts failed, but Garrick eventually answered.

As of December 2nd, 2010, Garrick hopped on a flight the morning after and ran his sorry ass back to Spokane. According to Alton, Garrick is trying to move on. Alton agreed that Garrick is indeed an idiot, and is therefore less trollworthy than Garrick himself.

Garrick has since then closed all of his YouTube accounts as well as his Formspring. His Facebook was also raped and now has a photo of his ass as the default. It can be assumed he read this page and realized he was trolled again (this time out of his state) and it is unknown if he will come back to the internet ever again.

Garrick strikes back

Garrick has flagged down every RedDeath associated YouTube channel as well as the Dailymotion that was hosting his videos and the video of him calling his mom a nigger. A troll responded by calling Mary and asking her to tell Garrick to stop.

Notable Quotes

I love dog cock in my mouth.




Pseudo-logic is pseudo.


—DarkSideRed992, in response to any argument directed toward him.


Hello everybody,my name is RedYoshi92 and I will be working on some Washington articles.I play very technically Yoshi and luigi.And I also play very smart with fox.I am a member of Team SHFFL. Now about my brother Spik.He is a very skilled Falco and Dr.Mario player.He has only been to Gamecluck's once but did so well there mainly against zeru's peach.


—Darkside on being a fanboi


You don't understand redyoshi Otto. To truly understand ginger, you must be firecrotch




If you allergic to cats or smoke, I would not recommend coming. You will not be around anyone smoking directly, but downstairs probably still smells a bit like smoke not to mention Valdens has a lot of cats if that bothers you. Soda (Cheap, generic Cream Soda, Root Beer and Coke) will be provided via fridge downstairs, food will not. If you want to pitch in for pizza let me know.




Don't man me... I'm not a man, I'm a boy.


—Darksidered,boy extraordinaire


Red from Team Hate, btw who is our leader guise?!


—Garrick unaware that Anonymous has no leaders


Hey I understand your irl situation and all that,I understand It can be hard making friends whether it was because of your past or personal stuff that happened. I don't hate you at all irl just having fun is all.




Going to get ready and take a shit on my mirror, mom.




So mom why are you such a filthy nigger?


—Garrick confusing his mother with an African American

Master Conversationalist

Aside from liking dog cock in his mouth, Garrick likes to use the same words over and over again in daily speech. If you ever come into conversation with Garrick, expect to hear the following:

  • Wasteland
  • Snake-pit
  • Quagmire
  • Parasite
  • Marsh
  • Sociopath
  • Swamp
  • Corrupt
  • Dogmatic
  • Kangaroo Court
  • Unpleasant
  • Unproductive
  • Laid waste to
  • Incompetent
  • Pathogen
  • Ripened/Unripened
  • Logical fallacies
  • Terroristic
  • Wolf in sheep’s clothing
  • Sheep
  • Puppets
  • Puppet-master
  • Pawn
  • Sycophant
  • Manipulative
  • Inflammatory
  • Prune (when referring to Mary)
  • Pigeon
  • Oasis
  • Harvest
  • Cultivating/Cultivated
  • Sexual intercourse
  • Smooch
  • Full contact
  • Cyan Camp
  • Cronies
  • Smear
  • Summon/Summoned
  • Deviant
  • Granduous
  • Complex


  • Darksidered992 is also known as WolfeeRedHead and MassiveLulzSeeker amongst countless other screen names.
  • Sounds like George Burns.
  • Enjoys playing Super Smash Bros Brawl.
  • He only started to troll online because fellow Tourneyfag "EGGZ" beat his ass at Brawl one to many times.
  • Left YouTube for a Ning based video sharing platform.
  • DarkSideRed992 is assumed to actually have Autism.
  • The ginger nut has an older YOUNGER brother who may also have Autism.
  • He apparently enjoys dog cawk in his mouth.
  • Garrick has an abusive whore of a Mother who yells at him for no reason on a daily bases.
  • DarkCockRed also enjoys kissing ass to other trolls on YouTube, because he is to much of a retard to troll on his own.
  • Lacks the ability to create an original sentence.
  • Is extremely unintelligent & gullible.
  • Every waking minute of this ginger's mind is swamped with internet memes
  • Likes to call everyone a Communist if they do not agree with him on an issue.
  • Red gets real butthurt if you block him on YouTube, do it 4 teh lulz.
  • He is also a well known fascist and is against free speech.
  • Garrick will call you a pedophile if you say you support TehBigToaster and BodyXPolitic.
  • Attacks troll groups on YT, because he has no friends of his own.
  • Garrick is incapable of splooging, and apparently didn't realize he had peed on the floor in his fap video.
  • He seems to think that sending n00dz to women he's never met in person is a great fucking idea.
  • Garrick has more in common with Chris-Chan than he'd ever likely admit.
  • He uses rubbing alcohol on his already horrifying acne.
  • The gingerbitch thinks "talking dirty" is a literal term for "sexual situations involving dirt, grime, and mud."
  • He wants others to view him as an intellectual tough guy.
  • Garrick, while attempting to utilize a large vocabulary, generally ends up using words incorrectly.
  • Apparently is unable to review photos before sending, which results in photos being even funnier with that "awkward angle" tacked on.
  • Actually expected to be able to get a job as an 18-year-old banker in New York WITHOUT a college degree of any sort.
  • Spiko's name is actually Evan.
  • He thought "lingerie" was a sex act, and when informed on its actual meaning, thought he was the one who was supposed to wear it.
  • Garrick doesn't watch porn, and as such has very limited experience of sex in general.
  • Garrick is highly against marriage and having children, and had wanted to get himself a vasectomy as soon as possible.
  • Thought aunt and grandma were the same thing.
  • Garrick has two cats. One named "Kitty Hope" and another named "OC". Please note that the OC stands for "Orange Cat".

Gallery/Shoops of Ginger

Gallery of Ginger About missing Pics
Shoops of Ginger About missing Pics

CockChopRed992 The Animated Series

While YouTube cartoons normally are understandably exaggerated for comic value, this is about as true to life as a day in the life of Garrick Colwell is, a Dog Cock Mongler!

Darksidered992 Fanbois

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External Links

  • Alton's cell phone: 509-625-7821
  • Other Skype: EvilLulz
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Darksidered992 is part of a series on Aspies.

Adam LanzaAlbert EinsteinAmber ButtrumAndy KaufmanAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoAspierationsAspies for FreedomBambifan101BeefraveBenny_the_SnakeBill GatesBill9929BodyXPoliticBoris MalagurskiBram CohenBrownsquirrelChibiyimaChris-chanCyndilovespiccoloDarrDarviela MaravaronaDaxFlameDisneyFan01DragonfanDrp1zzaEdenHeroineGirlErik RibsskogEvan GraggFlaglerchatFlardoxGary McKinnonGrantMGraykatHannah CappsHeed My WarningInmendhamInuboy1000IronholdsJahi/4444Jared MiltonJessi SlaughterJINXDROWNEDJoekerJohn Patrick RogersJoseph8276Kawaii KitsuneKawaiiKittee88KelseyaliciaKevin HavensKingMasterReviewKirbysloverKloeriKphoriaLordelthibarLougaraM. ChaosM. ChaosManlytearsMariotehplumberMark ZuckerbergMascotGuyMinefagsMisha SilenostiMissyMix HyenaMonica PunkMutescreamMylarBalloonFanNemo HanaNeuroNichole337Nick BravoNicky ReillyOlinkalexOnigojirakaijuOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaPopcornPrince JeremyPMDrive1061Robert Clark YoungRootbrianRoss LumbusROtardsRyanSelerySiriusOrionisSperginStarbladeStarkiller88SteAndKelTablecowTGcomixThe Eclectic EspeonThe JuggernautThe Unknown AutobotTheAmazingAtheistTheDOSFagTherealagerbonToKeNTom SersonToshTylerthDragonUlillilliaWeatherManKevinWerechuWetflameWilliam FreundWilliam AtchisonWim CrusioWolfAdvocateWolfeedarkfangZS3

Darksidered992 is part of a series on Dying Alone

Poemo.jpg Those Who Have Died Alone

Aaron SwartzAmanda ToddAmy WinehouseAnna Nicole SmithBrandon CrispBrian AdamsCharmaine DragunChris BenoitCodey PorterDavid CarradineEdaremElliot RodgerElvis PresleyHeath LedgerKitty0706Leelah AlcornLemonade CoyoteLoki BlackfangMegan MeierMichael JacksonMitchell HendersonMySpaceOtoya YamaguchiRicardo LopezRipperLiloRudolph ZurickShawn WoolleyShayTyler DumstorfWilliam Atchison

Those Dying Alone

2 gryphonAhuviya HarelAlex FordAmerica's Third PartyAnonymous BorgAnthony 'A-Log' LoGattoArgent009Arguecat3Sophie LabelleBambifan101Basement DwellersBenny_the_SnakeBikerfoxBill9929Bob RehahnBrian Richard ZaigerBrianna WuBroniesByAppointmentToChloe SagalChris CrockerChris-chanChuck M.CrazyvideosandrantsDaniel BrandtDavid HockeyDBoyWheelerDeekerDGTrixieDiaper BoyDnepropetrovsk maniacsDon RobertsDorian_GayDragoneerDrakonEmoEpic Fat GuyErik RibsskogFagolescentsFanFic CriticFat ManFaust & PoryAnita SarkeesianFilthy Frank Five Nights at Freddy's fansFluffy teh wolfFriends of A-LogFurriesG-ZayGhostGirlvinylGoddessMilleniaGraykatHellkiller777I Dislike Cis PeopleIan Miles CheongIchverbotJINXDROWNEDJohn BullaJohn FieldJohn Patrick RogersJonathan McIntoshJonmonJoseph CampJoseph8276Kathleen ToddKevin HavensKimmo Johan AlmKrashedLecarickLeigh AlexanderLordelthibarManchildrenMariotehplumberMarjan SiklicMonica PunkMoviebobMuZemikeMylarBalloonFanNaokoElric2250Nathan GaleNawlinWikiNeckbeardNick BravoNullcherriOnideus Mad HatterOnyx ForepawPacificoceanasiaParkourdude91Peter CoffinPhil FishApril DavisPit ViperRandi HarperRicki RavenRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRose3212Sad FrogSam PepperSceptreSchnookumsSethistoSnapesnoggerSonmanicSuperlisamcbEric RidenourThe Unknown AutobotTheSockDetectiveTom PrestonTourneyfagTyciolUlillilliaVinceintheBayWeegeeisgoingtokillmYouZoe Quinn

Their Methods

9gagAIDSBoozeAnimuask.fmAsperger's SyndromeAssigned MaleBath SaltsBody PillowsBullyingCosplayDead FriendDeviantARTDiscordDrugEdginessFanFictionFeminism The Filthy Frank ShowFive Nights at Freddy'sFleshlightFriend ZoneFurry ArtGarry's ModGooglewhackingHackingHover handsHufflepuffHypebeastSelf-seclusionInfantilismInvisible GirlfriendIRCJenkemKotakuLeague of LegendsLegoLibertarianismLiveJournalLonelyLoveShyMai WaifuMinecraftMLP ForumsMMORPGMen's rights activismHomestuck‎MUDMy Little PonyMy Tiny DickNice GuyismOculus RiftOh ShiternetOnline datingOnline sex gamesPlastic CrapPlenty of FishRuneScapeSecond LifeTaking the Internet Too SeriouslyShy Boys IRLSilk Screen Goku ShirtSmogon UniversitySocial JusticeTeam Fortress 2The SimsTulpasTumblrTV TropesUncyclopediaVloggerheadsWizardchanWorld of WarcraftYouTube



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Taking Down ED

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Distinguished Individuals

A Man in BlackAediotAeverine NievesAngel LocsinArgent009AsalieriAush0kBill9929Brian MartinChris-chanCircaRigelClayranger89Daniel BrandtDivineAngelDonald Buffkin/Tablecowdrp1zzaFeltchoFlardoxGirlvinylGrace SaundersHayakainIntellectual CheckmateJDubsJim ProfitKevin MartinLibertarian FoxLinkaton FuraitoLove ShyLulz in hell TrollfagsMarjan SiklicMeowbarkMike SandymootOnideusPaul FetchPixelBeeProductionsPrince JeremyPurelilyRobert Wayne StilesRootbrianRusty RaySceptreSheWolfSirius OrionisSpleeNfatSteve Hodder-WattSue BaskoTom NewtonVampiricSpektor

Noble Internet Entities

AnontalkAnti-Encyclopedia Dramatica.comConservapediaDeviantARTencyclopediadramatica.wikiFailcyclopediaJosephevers.blogspot.comMyAdoptsOhInternetRationalWikiUltraviolet News NetworkUncyclopediaWikiFurWikipedia

Glorious Civilizations


Related Subjects And Methods

CensorshipDDoSFree SpeechGet a LawyerHackingMake a PetitionNotify the FBISerious BusinessSOPAThe Græt Niggercide of Old EDWriting an article for UncyclopediaYou vs. ED