|Real names||Ryan Palone; Shyanne Garrett|
|Born||May 5th, 1986|
|Residence||Batavia, New York (188.8.131.52)|
Crinklemon, also known as ShyanneSkye (powerword: Ryan Palone originally, now calls himself Shyanne Garrett), is a 35-year-old self-identified hermaphroditic alien foxtaur baby inflationist with telekenetic powers, his made up genetically retarded headmate's pronouns are hir, shi and shit (okay I made up that last one), who works at Walmart creeping everybody the fuck out. When he's not occupied pushing carts at this job, he's busy taking photos of himself wearing shit-filled diapers in the store's family restroom, whilst playing pocket pool. Get ready for a proverbial trip on NASA's "Vomit Comet" after an all you can eat buffet of cheap-ass Chinese cat 'n crap cuisine, cause this only goes down the diaper hole from here!
Much like his made up alien man-pamper fox-horse gender blender, his name has likely gone through countless transitions and transformations in the past few years, from Shyanne Garrett to Shyanne Skye to Shyanne Ottowell to Stacey Ottowell, etc, etc; the crazy pants crinkle monster goes through names like he goes through diapers. Whether as a result of a desperate need to try and garner attention, or as a means of attempting to cover up his endless Internet fuckups, or simply a product of free basing the baby powder on injectable horse urine hormones; one can only speculate what goes on in the mind of the autistically insane.
Getting To Know Ryan
Ryan's journey on into play-pretend womanhood has been anything but smooth. Much like his bulbous body it's been rife with bloated obstacles, much of which he's openly shared with the rest of the world with effectively zero self-restraint and a total lack of natural inhibitions. Like the pop parenting mother who films every aspect of child birth and then hammers it out onto the Internet like some sick, twisted rendition of Gallagher, Ryan somehow thought it would be a good idea to document, film and photograph his every tumble on through the body mutilation process, much to the abject horror of the Internet at large, most of which had no idea just how disgustingly unnatural said process really is.
Bringing Up Baby Ryan
Ryan could have just been another closet perv, a dumpy lookin dude with a diaper fetish, but unfortunately he fell on into the Tumblr trap where insanity feeds off itself in an openly enabling circle jerk of endless retard level reinforcement. He made friends with a number of other degenerates who immediately started openly encouraging him to treat his bizarre sexual interests as a "lifestyle choice" rather than just some off the wall, weekend weenie wank to work out some weekday worries. This culminated in him taking on a number of pseudo-surrogate "mommies" and "daddies" creating artificial faux families to try and substitute the one he was lacking in the real world.
Of course these "families" are entirely fictional, forged together only to further reinforce each others fetishes and fucked up fantasies. Like a group of alcoholics coming together online to actively encourage each other that they don't really have drinking problems, these "fetish families" focus solely on sucking out what little semblance of normalcy each individual has left. Each one only encouraging the others because they're projecting their own unrealistic desires, deep down believing that if they can make someone else's crazy clown party come true on some level or another then their own insane interests will somehow become justified and judgeless by proxy.
Obviously these reciprocally rotting relationships are doomed to demented failure simply as a result of continually stacking piles of shit on top of one another until it eventually all comes crashing down in one giant avalanche of ass waste. In MANchild Ryan's case this culminated in one of his would be mommy figures, also a tranny, to kill himself after having a rare moment of enlightening lucidity. Ryan of course was so broken up over the whole virtual ordeal that he took the time to draw some fan art of his dead daddy, er-sorry, does "dick equipped effeminate fag" work better? Well, regardless, it took him all of about A DAY to drop it like a load in his Luvs and move right on into the next play-pretend online relationship of self-important circle jerking.
Adventures In Walmart Land
As if being a giant inflated fat fuck of a fruitloop with a giant sack of sick fuck fetishes wasn't bad enough, Ryan constantly looks for new ways he can inflict his deranged insanity on the rest of the world, often under the guise of being progressive and fighting for queer rights! Apparently somewhere along the derailed line the word queer went from meaning "gay" to "lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual" or "LGBT" and then on to "LGBTQRSTFUYOUCRAYNUTBAR" and eventually became so bastardized that even a horse alien adult baby inflation fetishist with multiple headmates falls on into the category of "queer"... instead of, you know, BATSHIT FUCKING INSANE! The inmates really are running the asylum now.
As crazy stupid as he is, the transsexual brain trip decided it would be a great idea to publicly post pictures of himself in his work uniform while actively engaging in said sick fuckery. The culminated in his wearing diapers on the job for sexual gratification while he took unscheduled breaks in the family bathroom where he photographed himself getting his jollies off with jizz packed Pampers.
In other assorted sick stupidity he also went around proudly proclaiming that he was going to start openly wearing his fursuit in public... with a fuckin diaper on over it. Because inflicting your furry fetish on the masses just isn't quite getting the point across that you've got more cuckoos than a clock factory, this corny cartoon of a character decided to step it on up a notch and go full "5150" right on into the public eye. As you might imagine, that didn't go over so well with the diaper shitter community at large who, unlike Mr. Ryan Palone, doesn't have the whole cloak of invisible dignity to wrap themselves up in. This resulted in heated fit throwing between the two sides until our boy Ryan finally conceded to the angry mob of Manpers wearing malcontents.
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Ryan has dabbled a bit in writing over the years, more cringe than creative as you might suspect. His early material largely centers on furry and fat/inflation themes with his later work delving deep into deranged diaper dreams. At one point he created a fake diary, supposedly based on his "inner mind" (headmate), that detailed how he internally retarded back to babyhood. He also wrote and illustrated a children's book which is apparently the biographical account of his first job, in which his mother tried to get him to grow the fuck up. Apparently though it was all downhill afterwards!
Ryan isn't simply insane, he's admittedly insane! In numerous journal entries and conversations he's specifically brought up his mental instability, covering a wide variety of issues from body dysmorphic disorder to dissociative identity disorder to hypersensitivity disorder and so on. In reality though he's largely only suffering from munchausen syndrome. Which he uses to invent random psychological problems for himself as a means of excuse to avoid doing whatever he doesn't like.
For example he doesn't like to bath and enjoys simmering in his own stink, but rather than own up to the fact that no one likes a disgusting man-taur-pig he simply claims that his inability to bathe is caused by his supposed hypersensitivity disorder. Basically whenever he's faced with an obstacle or a dislike, he immediately invents a new psychological problem to excuse himself from dealing with it.
At his core he's simply a gutless coward who is so terminally lazy that he actually fantasizes about being straight up retarded just so he doesn't have to make any decisions for himself. Admittedly mind you, this is no exaggeration, he has literally posted journal entries in which he has fantasized about his own family perceiving and treating him as a mentally retarded individual.
Which obviously there's no easy psychological excuse for wanting, so he takes on the mantle of being an adult baby as the next best thing, believing that he can use it as an excuse for his sordid sloth ridden lifestyle. In the end, Ryan will cling to whatever psychological excuse he can find to justify his exceedingly indolent insanity.
As if everything already covered in this article wasn't bad enough it turns out that Ryan has a penchant for pedophile art...
His Inflation "Art"
"Art" He Paid Actual Money For
- BlueCatRiolu – Much like Crinklemon decided that it was okay to show off his fetishes to the public.
- Dave Kelly
- Dcrisisbeta – Crinklemon actually watches this sicko.
- Donald Trump – Is often seen threatening President Trump on Twitter.
- Personal pronouns
- Zootopia – Frequently photos himself wearing a Judy Hopps badge.
- 🔒 - fka Calamity Toddler.
- Taken over by some IT customer service bullshit.
- - New blog.
- Article on WikiFur.
- This account still exists, but the link points to nowhere, due to the user changing their custom URL. Next time, grab the profile's steamID for an actual permalink that can never expire, retard.
- ADISC.org Profile
- AIM: lilfoxfur
- Yahoo! Chat: shyanneskye
- Email: [email protected]
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|Featured article March 31 & April 1, 2017|