Scott Stapp, born Anthony Scott Flippen, now legally Anthony Scott Stapp, is lead singer of Christian rock band Creed (a band originally formed for the lulz but actually taken seriously by retarded Christfags), and lolcow. What moar could be expected of a man whose chosen initials are A.S.S.?
Creed's original name was Naked Toddler. No fucking joke.
For nine long years, Creed created stunning music with profound lyrics that everyone loved. Around 2002, however, the lulz began and haven't stopped yet.
Creed at their best performing live
Sued for shit show
In possibly the first lawlsuit ever filed against a band for being total shit, four Creed fans launched a class action suit against the band in Cook County Circuit Court. The suit alleged that singer Scott Stapp was so “intoxicated and/or medicated” at Creed’s December 29th Chicago concert “that he was unable to sing the lyrics of a single Creed song,” and that he "left the stage on several occasions during songs for long periods of time, rolled around on the floor of the stage in apparent pain or distress and [finally] appeared to pass out." Each plaintiff was seeking a refund of their $56.75 ticket price plus parking expenses.
—rocketman123, making sure everyone knew he wasn't at a Creed show
The band went on to apologize.
—Creed, redefining unique
Stapp later told the Orlando Sentinel that he hadn't passed out; he'd made "a symbolic, personal gesture" by dropping to the floor and playing unconscious. Many EDitors make this symbolic, personal gesture four to five times per week. He later admitted, "I don't even recall doing that show."
By the middle of 2004, Creed broke up.
—Mark Tremonti, 1/4 of the problem known as Creed
—Scott Stapp, on his former bandmates
In December 2005, Stapp taped an episode of Casino Cinema, a celebrity poker show on the cable channel Spike TV. He was obviously intoxicated - and it is clear that the pills and liquor are having quite the party in ASS's bloodstream. During the episode, Stapp slurs his words, curses incessantly, claims Dave Grohl has "a little cock," demonstrates a bizarre series of kung-fu moves and demands a kiss from co-host Beth Ostrosky (Howard Stern's girlfriend), later telling her, "My son thinks babies come from my sac" and "I make more money than Howard." Steve Schirripa weighs in on Carson Daly.
The tape you've been waiting for.
High, like, making me jealous high.
In 2009, some prayers were answered - Scott divided by zero, causing the Alter Bridge to collapse into a reunion tour.
—Peaches & Herb, from Hell
Read it. Srsly. It's so lulzy that it deserves it's own article.
Praise the Lord and pass the groupies.
ASS had the good idea to share a quartet of strippers with white trash hero and musical plagiarist, Kid Rock. As if one bad idea weren't enough, a video camera was set to roll. Unfortunately for lulzophiles, his Jew has managed to squash any legitimate sales of said travesty.
Stapp, hailed as the most hated man in rock, long-ridiculed in the press for his Christian-tinged lyrics and Messianic stage persona, he had also alienated his bandmates with increasingly erratic behavior. While on tour, he'd been drinking heavily and had become addicted to Percocet. He'd also been taking Xanax and large doses of the anti-inflammatory steroid prednisone for throat problems. Once home, he quit all drugs, at which point, he says, like any rational human being, "I wanted to end my life."
To keep the pill gremlins at bay, he enlisted a bottle of Jack Daniel's, an MP5 SD3 and an MP5 K. Before he pulled the trigger, he looked up and saw a picture of his son, Jagger, the product of a troubled marriage. Jagger, then four, was staying with Stapp's mother at the time. "And in an instant," he says, "I just turned and shot the house up. And I just broke down. I was like, 'I was about to blow my head off. How low can I get?' " To answer this, he ran to Maui, where he became addicted to OxyContin and spent 18 hours a day reposting images of his deadly drywall shooting spree on /k/.
—Fred, totally pwning our hero
—ASS, on Fred
Fred chats about ASS
—Scott Stapp, musing on Foo Fighter penis
Dave's The Man Now Dog does "Arms Wide Open" cover.
DELETE FUCKING EVERYTHING
Apparently, Scott's crack team of public image surgeons have been busy removing all video (and even transcripts) of his lulzy public appearances. The list of deleted items is as follows:
- Bill O'Reilly call-in - video andtranscript removed from Fox website, but supplied by PassionBreedsFollowers.com, who have received a copyright pass from Jesus.
- Bill Zwecker's article. from the Chicago Sun-Times, the first to report the lawlsuit, has mysteriously vanished.
- Some fans who attended the show wrote to MTV News' You Tell Us section, calling the performance everything from "horrible" to "the worst show I have ever seen,"; page has also done the Houdini.
- Stapp was detained by Florida police in July 2002 and charged with reckless driving after his SUV ran off the road before swerving back into the proper lane. He was released from custody after posting $500.
- According to Rockdirt.com, his ex-wife was arrested for mashing a cell phone into his face.
It has a blog!
—Scott Stapp, on Michael Jackson, followed immediately by a shameless plug.
Extra-creepy quotes just for lulz
—Scott Stapp, on Britney Spears
- Official site
- Official YT channel
- Myspace page
- Passion Breeds Followers. eww.
- fanboi site
- fan forum
- Behind the Douchebag, a brilliant piece of work.
- MTV fluff piece - spot the lulz
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