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—Alfie, 13-years-old, speaking controller-side from his PlayStation 3.
Chantelle Steadman is a mentally retarded, 14-year-old British charver cumdumpster from the seaside town of Eastbourne who is well on her way to becoming the poster child for the AIDS that is killing the UK. She is the proud mother of 8lb Maisie Roxanne Patten...or Maisie Roxanne Goodsell...or Maisie Roxanne Barker...or Maisie Roxanne (V)/Maisie Roxanne (W)/Maisie Roxanne (X)/Maisie Roxanne (Y)/Maisie Roxanne (Z)...depending on who the father really is.
—Chris Barker, He'd hit it.
At the moment, though, the British national media have awarded the prize of national spotlight, scorn and ridicule to 4'0" underage b& Alfie Patten, who, at 12 years old, still looks like he's eight, and accordingly is still waiting for his balls to drop. Alfie was unlucky/stupid enough to be Johnny-on-the-Spot when the kid was born and was dumb enough to claim fatherhood. They've apparently been a couple for quite some time, and Chantelle swears on her mother's eternal soul that Alfie took her virginity with his flaccid, prepubescent cock.
A Challenger(s) Appear!
Quicker than you can say "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!", two other sperm-loaded minors - Richard "Don't call me Shia" Goodsell, 16, and Tyler Barker, 14 - recently admitted to having dangled their sausages in Chantelle's Chunnel around 9 months ago, as well as at least five others in the hood. Why they're bragging about shoving their cocks in this Chav whore is anyone's guess.
—Tyler Barker, Probably STD-infected.
Since the news media and shocked & appalled talk show bandwagon has just started rolling though, you can be sure that it won't take long to hear from all the other rampantly hormonal, high-pitched, squawking prepubescent babydaddies who so much as fapped anywhere near the bike sheds where this cumdumpster "held court" during lunch break.
—Tyler on Chantelle, Prior to donning the beer goggles.
—Richard, Reveals his appalling taste in wimmins.
—Michael Jackson on Chantelle, Prior to donning the Pedo goggles.
Media accounts suggest that there are as many as EIGHT British boys that may have promoted the pregnancy. No word yet if Ms Chantelle has been nicknamed "Octo-Slut".
A DNA test has revealed that Alfie "dad at 13" Patten is NOT the father of baby Maisie. He claims that his world has fallen apart. For our part, we're certain that he's dodged a whorish stray bullet.
Update: Science sez Tyler is the lucky father. She's still a whore. She's also a bitch for trying to convince Alfie (and the world) that he was the father, presumably because she preferred him over the other tramps she'd fucked, and knew what a naive, gullible little kid he was.
Watch out for her on Jeremy Kyle.
- Octomom - Some argue that Nadya Suleman is worthier of WTF reactions than is Chantelle Steadman.
- Teen mothers
- Asking for it
- Bristol Palin
- The Sun...the UK's top newspaper (for shit like this)!
- Moar "dads" step forward demanding DNA tests.
- It has now been revealed that Alfie is not the dad; he claims his world has fallen apart.
- Tyler wins
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