Centipede filled vagina

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Probably the most famous incarnation of the centipede-filled vagina meme.

An old meme which originated with Erik at Old Man Murray, who went on to be one of the writers for Valve games like Portal, it was born around the time when Erik and Seanbaby went to go see the Secret Service and nearly got a ride in the 4chan party van of all things because the Secret Service apparently had a guy with dyslexia on the team and took their websites for plans to kill the president. The phrase rapidly became the popular subject of image macros and photoshops, many of varying quality. The feds to this day are still tracking the phenomenon of internet dwelling vagina seeking centipedes for reasons unknown, or are using them as tracking devices to monitor the populace with the female population and the field of sexual pursuits; either way, we can only assume this is why there are no females on the internets.

What to do if you find a nest of centipedes in your vagina

"Transwomen" (lol) are not immune.
This woman found centipedes in HER vagina, but fortunately help is at hand...
Even vampires suffer from centipede-filled vaginas.
Thought men were immune? FAIL. Earwig in dong.
  1. Don't panic. Studies show that 1 out of 3 women have centipedes or centipede-like-creatures in their vaginas.
  2. If you are a man and discover that you not only have a vagina, but that it is filled with centipedes, you may wish to panic a little.
  3. Centipedes are insectivores. In order to entice the centipedes to leave your vagina, you may wish to try the following fun home Blue Peter-esque project:
    1. You will need a tampon, a cockroach, some Scotch tape, and a centipede-filled vagina. If you are under 18, be sure to ask your parents' permission before attempting to remove centipedes from your vagina.
    2. Tape the cockroach to the tampon and insert it into your centipede-filled vagina.
    3. Slowly (and if possible, erotically) pull the string until the be-cockroached tampon slides out of your centipede-filled vagina.
    4. If you are lucky, one or more centipedes will have gone for the bait and evacuated your now slightly less centipede-filled vagina. Repeat until you are satisfied with the centipede density in your vagina.
    5. Helpful hint: since all centipedes are azn, if they are not taking the bait it may be helpful to cater to their particular tastes. You may want to soak the tampon in soy sauce, or use Pocky instead of a tampon. Avoid at all costs the temptation to substitute General Tso's chicken for the cockroach. Your vagina will thank you.
  4. Should you need to enlist the help of others, be sure to state in a loud, clear voice that there are centipedes inside you. This will cause them to ask where, and give you the opportunity to mutter "in mah vagina" semi-coherently like Hillary Swank in Boys Don't Cry. That's always funny.

Other places to find centipedes

According to a less-funny encyclopedia, centipedes can generally be found in tropical climates and in caves of the non-vaginal variety. However, considering that said encyclopedia made the centipede its mascot, they are no better than furries and thus not to be trusted.

Dramacratic researchers have made preliminary efforts to locate nests of centipedes in manginas, primarily by inserting rfjason into Dgt's rectum on centipede-hunting expeditions. However, to date, vaginas remain the only confirmed habitat of centipedes.

There are centipedes in my vagina and I'm not afraid to use them

Like everything else that comes into or out of your vagina, centipedes entitle you, as a woman, to special treatment. It is therefore your Goddess-given right—nay, verily, your duty—to mention your centipede-filled vagina at all opportunities. You should assume that everyone who disagrees with you, makes fun of you, or fails to buy you things from your wishlist does so because he is prejudiced against you due to your centipede-filled vagina.

The key to making your centipede-filled vagina into an effective bargaining tool is to bring attention to it as loudly as possible. Some suggested options are "JUST BECAUSE I HAVE A NEST OF CENTIPEDES IN MY VAGINA DOESN'T MEAN I'M ANY LESS OF A PERSON!" or "YOUR CENTIPEDE-FILLED VAGINA WOULDN'T FIT INTO AN MRI EITHER!"


See Also

External links

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Featured article September 27, 2005
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