Modern Warfare 2
Call of Duty 4 : Modern Warfare 2 : Electric Boogaloo, also known as Modern Warfare 2, also known as Camp: The Game, is the highly successful sequel to Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and the best game ever. The game was commercially successful and universally praised by critics for it's engaging gameplay, beautifully rendered and realistic environments, blockbuster campaign, and the $200 pair of night vision goggles that came with the super special edition of the game. Of course it's the best selling thing to ever hit the PS3, XBOX 360, PC, Wii and Sega Dreamcast. According to the sales records, you and everybody in your home own at least two copies.
(Protip: instead of reading this huge ass essay about why Modern warfare 2 is complete and utter bullshit, you could just play the game to get an idea for yourself. Or you could make the smarter decision and just take it for granted that this game is complete horse shit and not play it at all.)
Once again, realism in Call of Booty: Modded Warfail 2 includes -but is not limited to-:
- Buildings and structures made of wood that take no damage whatsoever from a direct hit by an RPG-7.
- (Again) Attack dogs that take a 7.62 by 39mm (AK-47 for the war nerds) round to the body and only flinch/ roll over slightly.
- (When will this be fucking fixed) the Roflknife still possesses a magical energy or some shit that allows it to fucking massacre someone by shallowly slashing their leg, whereas a .50 cal round to the stomach will still only make them flinch slightly.
- Armoured personnel carriers that can only stop small arms fire and give half-decent protection against heavy machine gun fire which aren't even dented by 40mm grenade rounds (as long as the grenades are fired from pro pipes, of course).
- Snipers which magically resurrect from the dead if you betray them, and give you sniper support from a hill surrounded by trees with very bad visibility, killing anybody around you. Even if the faggot they're shooting happens to be in the basement of a house, half a mile away.
- The idea that a war between Russia and America would take place, and not just be both sides nuking the fuck out of each other.
- An AC-130 is shot down, and happens to land on the EXACT same building you're trying to capture.
- An infantry fighting vehicle that needs to be told to shoot at enemies, despite seeing them clearly. Also, the .50cal machine gun fucking rapes Russian helicopters in no more than two hits, despite -at the best of times- only barely being able to penetrate their outside.
- A badass ally that is able to dive out of a two story window, land exactly on top of a guy he's trying to chase, both landing smoothly on top of a car, neither of them being significantly hurt in any way.
- Five guys with light machine guns, assault rifles and shotguns managing to get into a guarded airport, without concealing them or using a distraction.
- Finding the main headquarters of the Taliban or some shit, which is fuck-full of guns, and not having the idea to take all the weapons and shit, and sell them for jewgold. Also, despite being a four- man squad trying to defend a shed surrounded by forests, ridges, and decent natural cover, from a company of well- armed and organised mercenaries who seemingly have the Russian Air Force's entire inventory of utility and light attack helicopters giving them air support, the thought never occurs to any of you to use the dozens of C4/IEDs, or the fully functional miniguns/grenade cannons/sentry guns lying about (which presumably would help a little).
- Being chased down a river, in a canoe, by heavily armed soldiers, attack helicopters and tanks, then falling down a waterfall. And living.
- Guys in bomb squad armour with light machine guns chasing you despite carrying about 100kg of weight with them. Also, get slaughtered by a .50 cal, but not even hurt by an RPG-7. Unless, of course, you hit them in the face.
- A criminal gang in backstreet Brazil trying to keep low and avoid detection by the police, but have about 300 men - who somehow found the money to buy high technology sights and attachments - that are heavily armed with machine guns, rocket launchers, sniper rifles, shotguns, assault rifles and submachineguns, clusterfucked into a small ghetto.
- Being part of a squad made up of the best soldiers from every NATO special force, and having the stamina and running ability of someone who is morbidly obese and has just spotted a free ice cream stand.
- Elite Russian invasion forces and Spetsnaz units that are armed exclusively with weapons that aren't produced by any Russian arms manufacturers/ stopped being produced 30 years beforehand/ are only used by ghetto gangs, African dictator nations, and China.
- Organized and, apparently, well- trained paramilitary patrols, that spot some of their soldiers who have just been killed, and upon spotting them, simply stop patrolling, casually remark how strange it is to find a dead body out here, and start sucking each other's dicks. Funnily enough, if they were well- trained, government- supported mercenaries, they would usually start trying to figure out how long ago their guys were killed and form a plan to find and stop you but apparently that's too retarded to be considered by Infinity Ward.
- Small, remote control plastic planes that carry an infinite number of radio guided missiles which annihilate anything within ten miles of the point that they hit (in reality, UAV drones can only carry a maximum number of 2 predator missiles and 'Predator Drones' don't exist.)
- Being chased down a mountain, in a sled, by mobile intercept units armed with assault rifles, and a Hind (big-ass Russian attack roflcopter if you're retarded), with a fucking epic jump over a half-mile wide gap at the end, armed with a peashooter that you can fire at the enemies whilst trying not to crash into a tree and break every bone in your body. And, of course, you come out completely unharmed.
- (You would, by now, think that this series has already featured more than enough epic chase scenes ripped straight from Tom Cruise movies, wouldn't you? Wrong again, faggot!) Being chased through an Air Force base in Afghanistan, driving a go-kart, by mobile attack squads in Jeeps, and light attack helicopters with miniguns, and trying to drive into the rear entrance of the cargo hold of a C-130 plane, which lands, rolls for a few seconds while you get in, then takes off again with no trouble. The air base also appears to have more broken down helicopters and military transport planes surrounding it than the actual number of the same aircraft which were reported to have been built.
- (And we're still not done) Being chased through a favela on a slope, by every political gang member in Brazil stationed on rooftops and firing at you with AK-47s. Despite having no cover, you safely manage to jump down the multiple corrugated iron buildings, do a fucking awesome slide through a glass window, and jump off a mile high mountaintop, over a 50 foot gap, to catch on to the overhanging ladder of your helicopter. Also, the helicopter is owned and operated by a random Russian homeless person (who was your buttbuddy in the last game), despite that model only having less than 100 built and being exclusively owned by the U.S. government.
- Casually firing on a crowd of Russfag civilians, in a well- guarded Airport. The guard posts don't do shit, and it takes the armed response squads the rest of the day to get a force up to stop you (even though the Airport is in a populated part of Russia and has good communication with the outside forces). There is a magical energy field of some sort stopping you from moving faster than a crippled person carrying 100kg of weight, yet somehow you manage to catch up with most of the civilians and stop them from escaping, after they just heard you firing a machine gun. If you accidentally nudge one of your guys, or spend too much time jacking off to the porn magazines in the duty free, all four of your guys start shooting at you (which is retarded because it means you pretty much can't use the flash-bangs you get). You could hit them with the U.S. Army's entire firepower, nukes and everything, and they wouldn't even flinch, yet they can kill you by throwing a paper ball at you. If you give a shit, the story also goes that America is framed and nobody guesses that Makarov is behind the attack, despite the security cameras in the Airport showing Makarov raping the crowd of civvies, and Makarov is apparently well- known as the leader of Al-Queada at the time.
- Deciding to solve the shitstorm in the USA by nuking the fuck out of the place. When you then play as a US Ranger who survives the nuke, you then have to run from a storm of random planes and helicopters- that presumably completely just switched off after the nuke- which just appear out of nowhere in the sky and all fall on the street you're on. To add to the realism, your whole squad survives (except for that retard who got a bullet straight through the head).
- Cappin' those Russian niggas in da hood and then securing the area...despite the fact that they outnumber your forces, are firing on you from all directions and have armoured vehicles and air support. But it gets better. Even though you have secured the entire area and have a decent position once you fucking smoke them all, somehow you then find that there were several platoon- sized units and a couple of APCs you missed. One of them even just appears out of some little ghetto joint right next to the building you're in!
- Despite apparently having good commanders and a decent team, communication and professionalism in your squad for any mission you do is limited to one of your guys dying every half a second. Even better than that, all that happens is one of your other guys yells: 'man down!' and then nobody gives a fuck, which really makes the whole system that the Army currently uses- where if somebody receives so much as a scratch, the whole squad panics and regroups to help him- seem pretty retarded.
- Russian terrorists trying to keep a low profile who arm themselves with, amongst other examples: WA2000 (see the description below): a sniper rife worth about 50 grand that was cancelled in favor of the PSG-1 (for fuck's sake, why couldn't they have just used the Dragunov like every other terrorist group) , the T.A.R. 21: a high tech Jewish weapon from Israel that only elite forces have access to, and the MP5K, which is only used by the SAS, British police units and some German units, as well as some Americunt police.
- An armed gang full of poor Brazilians from the shitty end of Rio/ a gang of Taliban Jihads who are somehow able to get hold of and operate effectively, amongst other things: An AC-130 (Average cost to own and fly one for a few days= about $200,000,000) with fully functional technology, flares and loaded weapons, an Mi-28 Havoc (A fucking expensive attack helicopter currently being produced in Russia and only a couple hundred having been produced so far) with loaded and functional weaponry and technology, a UAV with predator missiles and thermal optics, a Pave Low (Owned by the U.S. government, retired from active service, fucking expensive and with about 90 having been produced) and Nuclear ICBMs.
Taking place five years after COD 4, General Shepherd tells you in a way that he thinks is really deep and inspiring, but actually is just a speech of long and convoluted bullshit that no one could give two shits about, that everything the happened in the previous game was meaningless and was there for a complete waste of time. You play as several different characters with bullshit appearances that are completely at odds with any doctrine of stealth or combat effectiveness such as a mowhawk and a ski mask with a skull printed on it. You run around the world, fucking up the days of 3rd world country soldiers who just want to eat some shit that's not radioactive or filled with agent orange. About halfway through the game, shit starts hitting fans and everything goes wrong:
- Mission #1: Generic waste of time training mission that tells you how to play when you could just read the instruction pamphlet that comes with the game.
- Mission #2: Kill a bunch of sandnigger Taliban in Afganistan. General Shepherd tells you he has a special tactical elite mission for commando general special sergeant soldier people like you.
- Mission #3: Roach and the SAS guy 'soap' you played as in COD4 attack an entire Russian airbase and win. This is all too get some part of a downed Americunt satellite that you're not told the importance of and therefore do not give a shit about. Introduces bullshit like 'the heartbeat sensor'.
- Mission #4: OMG THE CONTRIVSHEL NO RUSIAN MISION!!11!!1one!11 The guy you play as in missions 1 and 2 goes undercover as a Ruskie and does a Columbine at a Russian airport, before getting team killed by Makarov for the lulz. The game allows you to skip this mission in an attempt to get all the stupid whore 'concerned mothers' and faux news dickheads to shut the fuck up.
- Mission #5: You go to Rio de Genero to hunt down the spic who sold the weapons that were used in the massacre in the last mission. You shoot his gay lover in the legs and use enhanced interrogation techniques to discover his location. You then must chase the spic though some shitty little shanty town before capturing him and subjecting him to gang rape.
- Mission #6: The Russians conduct a full scale invasion of the mainland United States in response to the shit that went down in mission 4. Some white middle class American suburbs get shot up and you must defend burger king from Russians abusing the free refills at the coke machine.
- Mission #7: Back in Rio all the people in the shanty town start exibiting normal spic behaviour and start attacking you so they can steal your shit. You must run away like a little bitch and GET TOO THE CHOPPA!1!!!11 in order to survive.
- Mission #8: In the US the Russians start to trash every neighbourhood they go into for no reason like gangs of niggers. Sgt Foley orders you to do fucking everything over 9000 times again.
- Mission #9: Americunts and Britfags liberate an oilrig from dirty foreigners and take control of teh delicious oil, just like IRL.
- Mission #10: You rescue Captain Price from a prison that he's in for
no reasonbeing gangfucked by Russians.
- Mission #11: The Russians reach Washington D.C, take over the white house and rape Obama to death.
- Mission #12: You go to a Russian nuclear sub base for no reason and attack it. Price somehow thinks its a good idea to shoot a nuclear missile at his own fucking side, irradiate the atmosphere over the United States, fry everyone's electronics and destroy the International Space Station. Great work Price you fuck nut.
- Mission #13: In Washington you get almost raped by the Russians but you escape due to Price's stupid fucking horseshit and feel the effects like 'OMG OUR RED DICK SIGHTS DON'T WORK!1!!11!one1!11 You find Obama's sex dungeon has been turned over and blown to shit by the Russians looking for the giant dildo of death.
- Mission #14: You win back the Whitehouse, take advantage of Obama's corpse and stop the US air force from carpet bombing the whole city by lighting up a fat blunt disguised as a flare you stole from Sgt. Foloy's weed stash as revenge for shouting "Rameraz [insert bullshit command here]". Every five fucking seconds you are around him throughout the game.
- Mission #15: Shepherd orders you to collect evidence that Makarov has been fapping to bestiality porn so you break into his house and download his extensive collection off his computer while holding off attacks from Makarov's bum boys. At the end of the mission Shepherd turns out to be evil and behind everything all along and so fucks Roach and Ghost over via .44 magnum gunshot to the balls and fire.
- Mission #16: Shepherd's and Makarov's forces are fighting eachother........even though they are working together.......Whatever, the plot of this game at this point is so convoluted and self-contradictory and it really doesn't even matter anymore. Basically Makarov tells Soap and Price where Shephard is so you can fuck his shit up for pwning Roach and Goast.
- Mission #17: Price contracts whatever brain disorder Shephard has that makes him deliver another anti-climactic speech which has no fucking substance to it whatsoever and causes you to give even less of a shit about what happens next (if thats even possible). You kill Shepherds guys and destroy his little underground cave complex like he's a wannabe Osama Bin Larden.
- Mission #18: You and Price hunt down Shepherd, he shanks you and gives you yet another fucking speech about how he's an emo because no one cares about how his guys got pwned by the nuke that went off in cod 4. As Shepherd is about to make you an hero with his .44 magnum, Price beats the shit out of him but gets a beat down of his own when Shephard fights back. As Shephard is ruining Price's shit Soap pulls the knife out of his own chest and throws it at Shepherd, stabbing him in the face and killing him.
It should be noted that not a single weapon in this game, literally not a single one (except the Dragunov which hardly gets a look in anyway), is used by any modern Russian force in real life. Of course Infinity Ward knows this but they also know that they could put a Call of Duty title on a bag of dog shit and every 13 year old will still use up all their pocket money to buy it.
The most used category of weapons in general, though the only ones that get
pussy use are the M4A1, FAMAS, SCAR-H or the ACR because the rest suck shit.
M4A1 - The generic piece of shit carbine is back for the fapping pleasure of 13 year old americunt /k/ommandos. At least Infinity Ward got the name right this time by calling it the M4A1 (which is full auto) and not the ‘M4 carbine’ like in cod 4 (which is 3 round burst). This shows that Infinity Ward is slowly learning.
FAMAS - A French fuckstick that fires with a 3 round burst and compels you to surrender to the first enemy you see. Takes its magazine up the ass like a true French faggot and comes with a free white flag and garlic bread. No French forces are seen in MW2 (lol of course, as if the French would fight) or any force that uses this gun IRL so why its in the game in the first place is anyone’s guess.
SCAR-H - A good example of a developer fuckup
and Infinity Ward are lucky that this didn't turn into the MP-40 of MW2 THERE IS AN MP40 OF MW2 LOOK ON THE 1ST WEAPON OF THE SMG SECTION FAGGOT!!!!. Despite firing the full power 7.62x51mm NATO round on full-auto this gun has fuck all recoil while dealing shit tonnes of damage. This bullshit is compounded by the fact that the FAL fires the same ammunition on semi-auto yet has tonnes more recoil and pretty much all the other assault rifles fire less powerful ammunition yet are harder to control. TL;DR this gun is made of hax.
TAR-21 - The Tiny Arab nation Rapist of the 21st century, or TAR-21 for short, is a kike rifle made to do the bidding of the Zionist pigs. Like the FAMAS, F2000, L86 LSW and AUG-HBAR is has a bullpup design meaning it can have full nigger cock rape power while maintaining the size of a small asian chode. Profags think this is one of the better rifles despite its inaccuracy while aiming down the sight so they were probably just brainwashed by the Jew media.
FAL - More like FAIL, amirite? Just a reskin of the G3 from CoD4. While firing that same ammunition as the SCAR-H this gun has more recoil and is made out to be a long range rifle even though its listed as an assault rifle; only used by 13-year old boys that think it's reloading animation makes them a badass.
M16A4 – The M16A4 is back with a vengeance to be the piece of shit shotgun-but-with-long-range that it was back in cod 4 as if the FAMAS was not enough. Then again it is the standard issue Americunt military weapon and so to not include it would make all the rednecks cry as they would have been denied their chance to cream themselves by pretending to be in the military with this gun as they can’t join IRL due to the fact they are fat, inbred, sister fucking AID’s ridden dickheads.
ACR – Generic assault rifle used by everyone. Presumably put in to get more ‘Murkan weapons in as it’s the unwelcome replacement to the G36C. IRL this gun is just a prototype that has not been accepted by any force in the world yet while the G36C is in service and is a tried and tested gun but none of that matters because the G36C is a faggy eurotrash gun and Infinity Ward panders to the americunt market by filling the game with yank crap.
- Bad iron sight ✓
- Terrible recoil ✓
- Awful accuracy ✓
- Looks like shit ✓
- Worst AR in CoD history ✓
AK-47 - Infinity Ward fucked up big time with this gun. Due to the fact its only unlocked on the last level before prestige its gone from being one of the most common weapons used by anyone on the battlefield in CoD4 (like IRL) to being one of the rarest weapon only used by l33t tacticool operators (not like IRL). Also this terrorist 2.0 Americunt slayer has been bastardised with aftermarket decedent western plastic crap. Wow I never knew a bunch of dirt poor spics living in the slums of Rio de Janeiro had enough money to blow on the latest polymer telescoping buttstocks, picatinny rails and all that other bullshit for their AK’s. Appears to have magic homing bullets as it is very accurate even though the barrel jerks around faster than you having a wank.
UMP45 - The stupid overpowered replacement of the MP5 in CoD4, this is the best example of developer fuck ups in Infinity Ward history as this gun is now the MP40 of MW2 as it is used by everyone and people get butthurt over its usage. This thing somehow deals the same level of damage as assault rifles while having a far bigger magazine capacity than it does IRL. Of course the guys at Infinity Ward would know this if they just did a quick google search but were probably too busy bathing in their money
MP5K - Basically a circumcised MP5 and as such is an affront to all German weapons and their Nazi pedigree through its defilement by Jewish practices. No one uses this bullshit gun because its completely eclipsed by the UMP45 in every way. SIEG HEIL!!!
Vector - Only included so there would be an americunt sub-machine gun. Like the ACR this gun IRL is only a prototype and is used by no one increasing the bullshit still further. It looks like shit and has a really gay high pitched noise completely unbefitting of its .45 ACP round. Again, even though it uses the same round as the UMP45 it deals less damage. Deficiencies in research can again be put down to excess fapping on the part of the IW staff.
P90 - This gun has been made 10 times shittier from CoD 4 in an attempt to 'balance gameplay' but Infinity Ward has already shat all over that idea with the fuckup that is the UMP45. Has more kick than that of a nigger on steroids and now sounds like a broken typewriter. Regardless, its standard issue 50 round magazine allows you to lay down the smack and with extended mags practically turns it into a mini light machine gun, another gun made of hax.
Mini-Uzi - Exactly the same from CoD4. Stupid Jewish gun, used by niggers so they can pretend they are in the hood doing drive buys.
PROTIP; use this gun and pretend you're in the IDF mowing down palistinian children for the lulz.
EVEN BETTER PROTIP; Just use the RPG/UMP .45/SPAS-12 liek everyone else!
Light Machine Guns
Spam bullets in enemies general direction to be guaranteed a kill.
L86 LSW - The only Britfag gun in the game and only included because the Britfags were buttsore that British soldiers were using Americunt M4s. Even though this gun is so shit IRL that British special forces refuse to use it or the rest of the SA-80 family of weapons. Proof that the SA-80 design is so shit is that even Infinity Ward had to artificially change it for the game to make it somewhat good by replacing its little chode 30 round assault rifle magazine with an impracticly large drum mag. Uses the British SUSAT scope instead of the ACOG because the British are too good for that yank rubbish.
RPD - The LMG used by Russians in the 2010's even though it had been replaced by the RPK and RPK-74 all the way back in the 60's. In reality, even the fucking Taliban- a bunch of Afghan Jihads with little funding or organisation- now use the RPK. As of about 1980 onwards, not even dirt poor banana republics use this gun anymore. The only place it would now be seen would be on exhibit in a war museum. Like in cod 4 this is one of the easist guns to get kills with. Spray in the general direction of the enemy for garenteed kills, camp with this to generate lulz you cheap faggot.
MG4 - A modern-day nazi weapon and a proud desendent of the pwnage master that was the MG-42. It kicks like a motherfucker but has zero actual recoil, and has a nice meaty sound to it though it loses points for its gay little canvas handbag ammo holder that it has on the side.
Protip; Attach a grip to have the most accurate sniper rifle in the game.
AUG HBAR -
Yet another fail from Infinity Ward. This is an assault rifle that they somehow classed as an LMG. Just as powerful as one though, so used by profags.First time IW got something right as the HBAR version of the AUG is actually an LMG! Still used by profags though.
M240 - Just like the bullshit situation with the M1919 in WAW, this is a heavy, bulky, massive machine gun that you can go running around with without any effort as if its made out of polystyrene. Also like the SCAR-H you can empty the entire magazine without trying the keep it on target and its sight will just stay exactly where it is throughout.
Used by mindless 5 year olds to get those sweet youtube clips.
Intervention - The standard token bolt-action sniper rifle and as such is easily the most commonly used. As usual the bolt-action is used by every faggot dickhead trying to get quickscopes, no scopes, 360 shots and all that other horseshit, unrealistic crap to record off their phone camera and clog up youtube with instead of playing the game properly. Used with FMJ, or Thermal scope, if your especially shit at using it.
Barrett .50cal - Used by everyone that can't use the Intervention. Using it in the fashion that players do in this game would knock a persons teeth out or tear their arm off if used in real life. Weighs about as much as a dead cow too. Oh, and you can add a silencer to this heavy, high-caliber, armour-piercing round sniper rifle that can blow a target's legs off in real life, thus making it quiet.
- Infinity Ward retard 1:- Hay you know what would be great?
- Infinity Ward retard 2:- What?
- Infinity Ward retard 1:- If we replaced a proper military weapon used IRL like the Dragunov for some bullshit, obsure, limited production run, target shooting rifle that no one has ever heard of and pass it off as a commonly found military weapon.
- Infinity Ward retard 2:- Wow yeah that would be great.
The result of this was the inclusion of the WA2000.
M14 EBR - Also known as the M21 EBR because IW has the quality assurance of a Thai hooker. The next step down the shitscale; those that can't use the Barrett .50cal end up using this. It has no recoil and takes 2 hits to kill someone, making it the shittiest sniper rifle. Add a silencer to be 1337.
Dragunov - Performs the same as the WA2000 in every respect. For
some no reason this gun was replaced by the WA2000 in both single and multi-player and can only be used in the Museum mission at the end. Even though the Dragunov would be an infinitly more logical choice as its the only weapon on this entire fucking list that is actually used be the Russians IRL. Seriously whose ever job it was to decide which weapons to put in the game should be fired because they're a fucking idiot.
Made completely obsolete by all the other secondary weapon classes. Seriously these things have nothing going for them except maybe the tactical knife so you can run around the map knifing people like a nigger chasing a watermelon.
USP .45 - AKA the Universally Shitty Pistol! It has a large as fuck mag but you'd get your ass UMP'd or quikscop'd from over 300 meters away. Can pwn people from miles away if a suppressors put on it.
.44 Magnum - The only handgun that anyone regularly uses. Was included because Infinity Ward was trying to appease those who used the .357 Magnum from World at War. As usual this bullshit token handcannon can be shot at idioticly fast speeds that even the Terminator couldn't without snapping his wrists off.
M9 - Copypasta'd from CoD4 along with the shitty little pee-shooter noise it makes. One differnce though is that when you fire it with a suppressor enemies can still fucking see your red dot on the radar.
Desert Eagle - All criticisms that can be leveled at the .44 Magnum can also be applied to this wrist cracking piece of glitchy show off shit. They tried to make it look legit for this game by giving it a matte black finish, night sights, rails and all the other tacticool shit but are not fooling anyone, now accepts attachments and has Barret .50 cal sized recoil. Rendered obsolete by the earlier available .44 Magnum in every way. Oh and Infinity Ward thinks this gun is standard issue in the US military as you are forced to train with this shit in the first mission rather than using one of the proper sidearms like the M9, USP .45 or M1911.
M1911 - The most realistic pistol in the game - that's only used by Soap and Captain Price in the single player campaign and in the museum 'mission' at the end.
The MOST used category of Secondaries.
AT4 - Rendered obsolete by all the rest of the rocket launchers in both pwning enemies and taking out aircraft.
Thumper - This things real name is the M79 grenade launcher but that doesn't matter now because every bastard, faggot 13 year old will now call it the 'Thumper' after seeing it in this game and thinking that its fact. It shoots stupid sacks of shit that don't even detonate half the time. Used by those who haven't unlocked the slightly moar 1337-ish RPG.
Javelin - Reskinned AT4, always misses, and loses to the Stinger SAM launcher in everyway.
Stinger - Outclasses the Javelin and AT4 when it comes down to destroying Aircraft, but you'd get killed instantly while appearing to watch the birds while doing so.
RPG - USED BY EVERY-FUCKING-BODY. Commonly found with Danger Close as the noob's tier 2 weapon of choice. If used correctly, it can be one of the few things that makes playing this game worthwhile; equip with danger close on hardcore search and destroy and fire at the ground at the start of every match. Don't forget to use a mic and record!
They render Handguns inferior, and you can use one of these in Last Stand, if you're that ghey anyways.
PP2000 - It is the 1st Machine pistol you get, thus making it shit, if you have Bling pro, slap a red dick sight and extended chodes on it to have a spare SMG!
Glock 18 - Reskinned USP but with worse accuracy, an insanely larger mag and a rate of fire that blows through it's large mags faster than a horny 13 year old fapping to Miley Cyrus. Butthurt by the other team will ensue if you slap on akimbo and stopping power.
M93R - Reskinned M9 that burst fires like the M16. Can pwn someone from miles if used with stopping power. Potential for lulz as you can use this in Last Stand.
TMP - This shit stick has a magazine the size of
Justin Bieber's cock LOL he doesn't even have 1 amirite? and should not be used under any circumstances.
The 1 Secondary type that gets the most use, besides the RPG and M203s.
SPAS-12 - Another Infinity Ward fuckup. This thing normally fires semi-auto IRL, it can be used as a pump-action but it only has that capability so it can fire less-lethal ammunition which is to faggy and weak to cycle the semi-auto action. But infinity Ward is more concerned with looking badass and spreading the kind of gun myths normally only reserved for action movies from the 1980's than making a true to life game. This bitch didn't get use prior to the Akimbo 1887 patch, but since then, Some argue it's the best sniper rifle in the game!
AA-12 - The 1 Shotgun profags use because its automatic. CoDfags use this with extended mags to make up for it's 1 downside of it going through ammo fast as fuck. PROTIP:Put scavenger on and camp in a corner.
Striker - A South African shitstick. Like anything that comes out of that place. Takes about an hour to reload from empty.
Ranger - After the Model 1887 this is the most overpowered shotgun and one of the most overpowered weapons in the game. At point blank they can kill someone with painkiller in one hit, WITHOUT STOPPING POWER. Always used with akimbo to compensate for its crappy two shot capacity.
M1014 - Reskinned Ranger but with higher recoil. Like in cod 4 this thing has its ammo gimped to 4 rounds. Probably the most realistic shotgun in the game, considering one or two of the forces featured actually use this as their CQB weapon of choice. Ironically, also the shotgun you're least likely to encounter in multiplayer.
Model 1887 - Because nothing screams 'Modern Warfare' more than a hundred-and- thirty year old First World War shotgun. Out of all the unrealistic, over the top, faggy, bastard, horseshit in this game, this thing is probably the worst of the worst. Without question the most overpowered weapon in the game. Always used with akimbo so the player does that shitty terminator flip-cock animation to reload because its OMG SOOOO KEWL!!!1!!!one!!1! Was originally considered the best sniper rifle in the game when used with akimbo, but it got nerfed in a patch, now everyone uses the SPAS-12.
W1200 - Same as it was in cod 4, can only be used in the museum mission at the end of the campaign.
Riot Shield - Not even a weapon. Only used by trolls to corner other players for the lulz.
M203 - Used by EVERYONE. Always used in conjunction with One Man Army and Danger Close. 13-year-old boys that use this often end up BAWWing when they get killed by it. Refered to as a 'Noob-Tube' to the fags that suffer it's wrath, or 'Pro-pipe' to those that are retarded enough to use it. Sometimes found with an Assault rifle attached to it.
Tactical Knife - An incredibly real tactic used by Armies across the globe is to sprint around the battlefield like a nigger chasing a watermelon and stabbing their enemies from 15 feet away, despite having a fully functional handgun in their other hand. It was only natural Modern Warfare 2 was to feature this. The answer on how not to camp, but still not have to use any real skill to kill people.
Underbarrel Shotgun- Also known as the 'Masterkey'. Hardly worth mentioning, because nobody uses it when they can just use a hacker shotgun like the Spas- 12, a full auto rape machine like the AA-12 or the point blank cannon that is the Ranger. You also have to get 20 kills with the underbarrel grenade launcher, which is infinitely more effective.
Holographic Sight- Red Dick Sight, but with a fucked- up reticule which makes it even harder to aim, but apparently looks fucking cool.
FMJ- Gives you magical hollow point rounds which allow for better penetration of your enemies, and now your gun can shoot through brick walls to kill them. Shoot through 40 of said brick walls and kill the pussies hiding behind them to get... a slightly larger magazine for the gun you're using. Woop de fucking doo.
Extended Mags- Also known as 'Extended Chodes' by witty motherfuckers, you have to get 40 penetration kills with FMJ before you can use this. So, all that bullshit for a slightly larger clip? Fucking useless and not worth the effort, except for those who can't aim a gun for shit and always end up running out of ammo one shot away from killing the other player they were shooting.
Akimbo- Now you can hold two machine pistols or sub machine guns and run around spraying bullets in the enemy's general direction and pretending to be in a lame ass action film, usually not achieving anything other than looking like an epileptic on drugs and alerting the other team to your location.
ACOG sight- Attach a shitty abortion scope to your gun and go around hitting even less than usual, because now you have to land the target right on the little dot in the middle otherwise you'll miss. Will always miss at long range, will zoom in too close so you can't see the enemy at short range;
normally only used to get the thermal scope.
Thermal Scope- When you eventually manage to get 20 kills using the ACOG sight mentioned above, you can attach a hacked to fuck 1337 scope which allows you to pwn any other players at a distance. Used by every body who likes to camp and snipe; in other words, one of the most commonly used attachments in game. Equip Cold Blooded in order to
counteract this make no difference at all, because they can still see your silhouette moving, but you just won't be as abundantly obvious.
Rapid Fire- Make sub machine guns shoot ludicrously fast and be out of ammo as soon as you pull the trigger. Useless perk- sorry, I mean 'attachment'- is useless because your gun will kick like a nigger and you won't hit anything.
Grip- Earn the right to call up whatever fucking retard made your gun and somehow couldn't be bothered to include a plastic stick to attach to the end of the gun and tell him to get his lazy ass in gear. Plastic handle that goes on weapons, not needed unless the gun kicks like a motherfucker/ you can't aim and fire for anything worth a fuck.
Heartbeat Sensor- Infinity Ward and the Xbox team punish people for using hacks, then decide it's okay to include a pussy ass little monitor on the side of your gun which shows nearby enemies as red dots and allows players to not have to go to the unnecessary effort of using an ounce of skill to find other players and avoid getting flanked. Makes camping twice as easy. Basically means that 'Ninja' is the only Tier 3 perk worth using. Enough said.
Mounted Guns- Find a minigun mounted in windows and on blocks and fire at enemy. Included to lure retards into getting sniped or flanked, don't do shit if there's any cover or concealment nearby.
Camouflage- Unlock a shitty reskin colour change for your gun- which literally doesn't do anything- after getting a certain number of headshots. After a few hundred head shot kills, you eventually get the coveted 'fall' camouflage, which you can then promptly jizz your pants over and go around showing all the online wildlife how much of a fucking loser you are.
Red Dot Sight- Also known as 'Red Dick Sight' to stupid, unfunny prepubescents, this is the most basic of the sight unlocks. You'll probably remember it from CoD 4. Used by anyone who is too much of a fucktard to aim with iron sights. Get a number of kills- I can't be fucked looking it up- with this to unlock the Holographic Sight, which features a confusing reticule and thus makes it worse than RDS to anybody who's stupid and shit at the game to the extent that they'd need to use either of these sights.
Suppressor- You'll never guess what this does, considering that this is only the third game it's been in. Whatever stupid fucking dumbass they employ as a joke to design and include weapons in the game still hasn't realised that only children and film producers call these things 'silencers' and they still seem to think that suppressors/silencers/whatever make firing a weapon sound like a quiet 'clicking' noise (listen to an actual suppressed weapon being fired and you'll see). Same as before; put this on your gun to reduce its effective range and stop enemies seeing you on their map. They can still hear and see your shots at close range, though, which makes this fucking useless if you're not planning on camping, as 99% of engagements you come across will be double teams.
—Typical faggot who enjoys playing this liquified abortion of a game.
Knowing that the ADD ridden customers would shift their attention to something else at the conclusion of the five minute campaign, Infinity Ward decided to create an alternate game mode where the Aspies could frolic amongst each other without leaving the safety of their Grandmothers' basements. Proving a success to antisocial-fags and paraplegi-fags with access to the tubes, tens of thousands of the gullible consumer whores gather each day to partake in an ancient ritual known as "Pwn1ng N008s"
For example, Modern Warfare 2 features repetitive game modes suited for your enjoyment.
Team Deathmatch - Point at people on the other team and shoot them. Apparently so skillful.
Capture the Flag - Run, stop running, walk for 3 seconds, run for 2 seconds, walk some more, and then repeat until you obtain the other teams flag. There is a 99.99999 percent chance you will get killed by a claymore/C4/Camper as soon as you touch the flag. The other .000001 percent will have the flag completely unguarded, leaving you to grab it and run, walk, and whatever you did trying to obtain the flag in the first place, only to have you killed by a spawn camper 0.000002531 inches away from the drop point.
Search and Destroy - Also known as trollfest or Search and Dont go for the Objective, this gametype is filled with children ages 8-12 years of age and the occasional 16 year old wigger who think they are the most L337 3P1C COD PL4Y3R 3V4R!!!!! In this type of game, if you die, you respawn the next round. There is a bomb that you need to carry to a bomb site to make it asplode. Most players don't go for the bomb, because "OMG IF YOU KILL THEM THEY DIE JUST LIKE IN REAL ARMY AND PLUS MORE XP FOR KILL!1!!!11!" Though, some players get butthurt over "WHO GETS THE MUTHAFUCKING BOMB!!" because there's always someone who has to go for the objective and plant it, making the game time shorter and the game easier to win. Also, when you kill the last guy alive after he planted the bomb, be sure to jump around the bomb until the last second to defuse it just to look cool. There are about 5 rounds, it may be something else but I don't feel like looking it up so fuck you. Most of the time you will be killed within 5 seconds by a Quickscoper/MLC Knifer/OMA Noob tuber on the other team. Expect many rages of lulzy proportions. Did I mention its also a copypasta of cunterstrike's bomb defusal gamemode?
Demolition - A game mode where you have to asplode the other teams bombs while the other team defends them. When the round switches, the roles switch as well. If you do manage to get through the claymores/Cold Blooded pro campers and get to plant the bomb, you will be killed approximately 0.00001 seconds before you have completed the bomb planting, leading to rage and then suicide.
Headquarters - Where all the Prestige pros go to gain exp like a rabbit on speed. In this game mode you have to capture a Headquarters that will appear on a random point on the map. When a team captures it, they cannot respawn until the other team destroys the headquarters or when the timer for "reinforcements" counts to zero. During the time in which the headquarters(which looks exactly like the bombs in Demolition and Search and Destroy. Go figure.) is captured, the team will gain random blots of exp until the headquarters dissapears. However, most of the time one team is filled with either a shitload of campers, 8-18 year olds who play the game to much and a shitload of Last Stand noobs. Your team will probabaly be made out of trolls, AFK fags, or other people of many different age groups WHO JUST PLAIN FUCKING SUCK AT THE GAME!!!
Sabotage - A game type nobody plays. Basically Search an Destroy except with RESPAWNING!
Domination - Also known as campfest, where 3 points around the map have to be controlled in order to get points. Usually every team will only try to capture two of the three points in order to force the opposing team to spawn in the third point, if this happens spawn killing will ensue. Also, the reason Nukes drop down from the sky at random!
Ground war - The only game type that gets the most players because it allows Xbox party chat. Its Team Deathmatch and Domination games that have insanely hueg teams of 6-9 players instead of the usual 3-6.
Global Thermonuclear War - A cut game mode where you and your team stick your cocks into a designated site that's a cross between Headquaters and SmyD. Once you're done gangbanging it, the timer will count down and if successful, cum from the gangbang will kill everything in it's path.
- Rusher: The second least common player type, these guys are the only ones who play/think offensively. They are often the subject oh harassment by Campers and griefers. They often target noobs who don't know how to play the game. In a nutshell, (Re)spawn, rush to enemy location, spam bullets in general direction before dying, repeat. Preferred weapons include the biggest LMG they can find, Stopping power and extended mags if possible.
- Camper: The second most common player type, campers hide like a bitch in the corner until an unsuspecting victim turns their back and provides the player a chance to make his move. Used weapons include Assualt rifles for a moving kill, sniper rifles for a stationary target and the combat/throwing knife when (He thinks) there are no enemies around and to brutally embarress their prey.
- Booster: Exclusively for Trolls and people who suck at direct combat, they work from the shadows, building up a kill streak until they get some banhammer of a booster to rape their enemies/teammates. Commonly used weapons include sniper rifles, claymores and whatever else can be used to kill from a safe distance.
- Sniper: The least common class and the only one possessing skillz, they enjoy seeing the enemy's cranium bursting into a crimson cloud of pwnage. Used weapons include sniper rifles and combat knives for ultimate humiliation. (Often fall into the category of camper)
- Noob: The most common type of player, they employ the tactics of all previous types, but fail in successfully executing said techniques. Common weapons include grenades, the biggest assualt rifle/pistol they can find (n00b tube included), RPGs, l33t snip3rer r1fles and screeching pre-adolescent mic spam.
- Griefer: A player who can give two shits less and pisses off other players for the lulz. You can easily spot griefers by seeing anyone spawn on a hardcore match with a RPG.
Perks and Killstreaks
- UAV: A crappy, small styrofoam plane that sucks worse than your mom's assflaps.
- Counter UAV: Another crappy styrofoam plane that blocks enemy's radar.
- Care Package: Used by those who can't get a higher than 4 killstreak. Potential for traps and lulz. Used with Hardline to turn the map into a total shitstorm.
- Sentry Gun: Shoots enemies if they stand infront of it for about an hour. This shit goes down in 1 hit from your butter knife. ONCE.
- Predator Missile: AN UNHOLY BEACON OF DEATH AND DESTRUCTION THAT EXISTS ONLY TO FUCK YOUR SHIT UP, IT IS HEAVEN, IT IS HELL AND IT DOES NOT MISS!!!
- Prescision Airstrike: Copypasta'd from the infamous 5th killstreak from CoD 4, always misses and is shitty as ever.
- Attack Helicopter: Still as shitty as it was from CoD 4, but it kills even less now! HOORAY!!!!!
- Harriers: Upgraded Prescision airstrike which is followed by an upgraded Attack Helicopter which is destroyed easily as fuck. You're guaranteed to be killed everytime you call it in. It also can pwn any enemy choppers in the air, on the bright side.
- Emergency Airdrop: Like the care package, but you get 4 of them, most of them giving you shitty 3-4 killstreaks you've probably already obtained.
- Pavelow: Superior to the Attack chopper in every way, but loses to the dreaded Chopper Gunner.
- Stealth Bomber: A black plane that flies low just like it does in real life. Will pwn everyone who dares even to stand 50 feet from the door.
- AC-130: A FUCKING COPY OF THE PREDATOR MISSILE!!!! Also makes the Spetsnaz announcer flip shit and scream like a girl when called in.
- Chopper Gunner: Don't use this killstreak, you'll get shot down in 0.9001 seconds by a harrier or a rare teamplaying enemy that just so happens to have a Stinger handy. Prime example of how anything can be unfunny. Do it right, faggot.
- EMP: Doesn't do shit and is only used to make the Spetsnaz announcer cry like a bitch, just like the AC-130.
- Tactical Nuke: HOLY SHIT! THIS SHIT WILL BLOW THE ENTIRE MAP UP AND WILL FUCK UP ANYONE!!!!! THE TEAM WHO CALLS IT IN PWNS EVERY1 REGARDLESS OF SCORE!!!!!! Too bad you suck so badly you'll never get it, you'll be killed 0.9001 seconds before getting the 25th kill needed to get this shit.
- Marathon: Allows you to run like the pussy you are. Combine with Lightweight and Commando for EXTREME TROLLING!
- Sleight of Hand: Allows you to reload your gun faster than you can blink. The pro version turns even the noobs into quick scope masters.
- Scavenger: You can pick up enemy ammo and 'nades. Why the fuck don't you do that anyways?
- Bling: Gun can have 2 attachments, only used by Wiggers because of it's name. The pro allows you to have 2 secondary attachments, as if you would use a secondary weapon that has any attachments since you're using the Thumper/RPG you cheap faggot.
- One Man army: Namesake agrees with the mentality of all CoDfags out to get a high k/d ratio. Pro decreases switch time. Used by ppl with Noob tubes for the ultimate lulz.
- Stopping Power: Used by EVERYONE. Increases gun power but even with stopping power it'd take you at least 100 bullets to kill some one with Painkiller. Unless you're REALLY cheap and decide to use the all pwning Ranger shotgun.
- Lightweight: Allows you to run away quicker like the pussy you are. Combine with Commando and Marathon for EXTREME TROLLING!
- Hardline: 1 less kill for killstreaks. Use with Predator Missile to turn the map into a total shitstorm.
- Cold-Blooded: Favored perk of campers and UMP users. Pro renders you practically invisible.
- Danger Close: Favored perk of OMA and any class with explosives in general. Pro turns the AC-130 into a death machine with an unstoppable onslaught for 60 whole seconds.
- Commando: The most popular perk. Basically it allows you to extend your arm across the map and kill someone with your knife like a fucking magician. Combine with Marathon and Lightweight for EXTREME TROLLING!
- Steady aim: Better hipfire accuracy, negates aiming down sights completely. The pro allows you to hold your breath while zoomed in. If you dont have pro then you have the lung capacity of a lung cancer ridden AIDs patient.
- Scrambler: The troll perk of choice. Fucks up your radar and draws you into a well placed claymore trap. Pro delays Claymore reaction, useful for taking out campers with Claymores, but they see it coming with jammed radar.
- Ninja: Heartbeat monitors can't see you like the cheap faggot you are.
- SitRep: Impossibly difficult pro challenges, allows you to see enemy equipment.
- Last Stand: You lie on the floor after inhaling over 9000 bullets like a coke user on speed. You can use an M93R machine pistol when down like a cheap faggot to be guaranteed a lulzy kill.
You must read this section because guaranteed at least 100 times you will find yourself using them.
- Copycat: Useless deathstreak is useless.
- Painkiller: the most popular deathstreak, it gives you 9001 times normal health, but it lasts for 10 seconds and you would probably spawn far away from the team your facing. Once again it is useless. Oh, and 1 shot with a ranger at close range [without stopping power even] will pwn you even with this active.
- Final Stand: Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V of Last Stand, but you can use your primary and 'nades.
- Martyrdom: Used with Danger Close and Marathon to turn the map into a shitstorm.
Typical Online game
- 5 year old Wigger talking shit on the mic about your mom or your faggotry while trying to get those sweet Intervention 1337 QU1KSC0PZ. (And failing)
- Troll who's trying to fuck over the team by team killing or getting bombs/flags/etc and not going to the objective.
- Noob with RPG and Danger Close.
- Most likely nobody's taking up the 6th spot, as the matchmaking system is an ass.
- UMP45 rusher.
- OMA/DC/Commando Noob tube camper using an M16A4.
- Marathon/Lightweight/Commando knifer with Tac knife running around pwning you.
- FAMAS Camper using claymores.
- Intervention quickscoper who, unlike your team's equivalent, is succeeding.
- A modder using a fall camo FAL.
In the end, regardless of what game mode you play, the enemy team will win (In the case of Team Deathmatch) with over 9000 kills. You should probably go an hero yourself now while you have a shred of dignity left.
Game Winning Kill
This new installment recreates the moment the opposing team is buttfucked with the barrel of your assault rifle/sniper! Toss the throwing knife straight up in the air and watch as it bounces of walls/railings/rooftops (because shitty physics)and hits the enemy in the back while the other team rages and shits bricks.
Modern Warfare 2 Playas
The average player is a disgruntled 20-something year old with a fetish for War and almost always has a deep loathing for Koreans, Germans, Vietnamese, Arab or anybody else who Americunts have waged war on in the last million years. When not reading through war hero novels, reverting changes made to the Vietnam War Wikipedia page or just going to anti-abortion rallies to sure up the numbers of new troops, you can bet your ass they'll be screaming at some 10 year old kid on Modern Warfare 2 and telling bleeding heart stories about soldiers they never met. Another interesting part of the MW2 player's psyche is that they truly believe playing the game has made them into a trained killer with senses honed many times greater then the average man and the ability to silently take out an entire room of armed Russian extremists with nothng but a combat knife. If ever you see one in the street, (Identifiable by a grim expression, at least one article of khaki clothing and a habit of shooting any non-black person minorities a death stare) please prove them wrong with a swift kick to the testicles and a gunshot to the head.
Things were good at Infinity Ward; Modern Warfare 2 had sold like a nigger in the 18th century and the offices were lined with gold and jewels. But all was not well; the pathetic amount of multiplayer maps included on MW2's disc were failing to capture the attention of consumers and they threatened to go back and play a better game with more maps, rather than fuck around on boring dirt mounds for barely valid bragging rights. So the head warlock programmers got to work on making 10 new maps to satisfy the needs of the players, a good portion of which were unoriginal ports of maps from previous games.
After discovering that they didn't have enough traded in gold fillings and diamond plated wheel rims that the lowly peasants traded in for the last map pack to satisfy their Jewishness, they once again reached into their magic portal to the dimension of best selling shit and pulled out 5 moar maps (only 3 of which are actually new), and threw them up onto the game marketplace for a few billion dollars. No guesses as to what happened next; every idiot who owned the game and even a couple who didn't proceeded to buy several copies each and fap to the slightly more varied selection of dungeons to earn sweet XP in.
We Fucked What Up?
Sometime last Thursday, Infinity Ward decided to release a patch for the Xbox 360 that was to coincide with the new Stimulus package, in order to make online play and matchmaking more fun. The only problem was that the morons at IW were unaware of how beta testing, a timetable or synchronization, worked and fucked up royally in the process, releasing the DLC before the Patch. What followed next could only be described as lulz of epic proportions; matchmaking was for the most part rendered inoperable, and gamers everywhere found themselves unable to find any matches or enjoy the awesome fifteen dollar DLC they just downloaded. Even gamers who refused to pay for this shit got nailed by the same bug. Infinity Ward is now scrambling to fix their fuck up, but in true retard fashion, they're getting nowhere fast.
UPDATE: After a month of non-stop shenanigans and resignations from the company, IW has finally announced that a new patch is coming out that will fix the recent fuck up with the Xbox 360's matchmaking. Only time will tell if the patch in question actually fixes the problem or leads to more lulz.
How to Troll MW2 Fanbois
Seeing as how every MW2 player in the whole world has some sort of retardation/emotional sensitivity problem/aggression enhancing tumor sticking out of their cranium, their feelings are about as stable as those of a 35 year old British Virgin on the rag. This makes trolling them not only easier, but also gives better results as they aren't used to being picked on from inside their airtight, plastic bubble.
- Mention Halo in any positive way, the Warfaretards will proceed to engage in a heated argument with you about MW2's realistic graphics and large player base (Half that of Halo 3) until their crusty brains will overheat and they proceed to team-kill you until the match ends.
- Spam your n00btube infinitely by using Scavenger (walk over bodies to pick up 'nades) or One Man Army (switch classes to replenish 'nades).
- Team-kill someone multiple times until they start sending you retarded messages about playing the game properly, post on Youtube and give a username so everybody can troll rush them on Ecksbawks LIEV.
- Make any kind of gay joke, MW2 fans are notorious fag bashers and insinuating that they play for the other team will make them furiously masturbate to girl only porn (But not lesbian porn 'coz homosexuality is wrong) until all doubt of sexuality is washed from their minds.
- Grief in any form, their underdeveloped caveman brains will catch fire as they struggle to comprehend what's happening.
- Mention any similarites between the Battlefield: Bad Companies and MW2, yeilds same results as mentioning Halo times ten. Extra points if you say that Jew/Haggard could kick Soap's/
Ghost's ass.We all know Scarecrow was 9001 times better than Ghost, anyway.
- Say anything about their Mom/Dad, it doesn't even have to be offensive, they'll still get defensive over someone else talking about the woman/man who breast fed/took care of him his whole life.
- Have a friend in a game with you. (Assuming you have a friend but you obviously don't because of how much of a cunt licking faggot You are.)Arrive on the map vacant playing search and destroy. Then when your team is trying to spawn in the wooden wall spawn at the top of the map you and your friend stand in both doors. You'll then hear the whiny 12 year olds screaming at you to move. You must then reply with hate towards the CoD series for extra lulz and enjoyment for the world.
- Mention Battlefield 3 in any context. Enjoy.
The MW2 Trolling Game: The only thing MW2 is actually good for, find a couple of friends online and enter matchmaking, have your mics and troll faces ready. Get a pen and paper, write down the rules and prepare for the grief of a lifetime.
- Team Kill: 1 Point
- Camp Kill: 1 Point
- Get Angry Reply: (Insulting/Arguing) 1 Point
- Get Furious Reply: (Yelling) 2 Points
- Get Team Killed: (By Pissed Off Player) 3 Points
- Box Teammate Into Corner: 2 Points
- Boxed Teammate Doesn't Kill You to Get Out: +5 Points
- Booster Kill: 5 Points
- Successfully Use Hax: 5 Points
- Cause Rage Quit: 10 Points
The Infamous 4th Level: "No Russian"
One day while monitoring playthroughs of every violent video game released that month, the concerned mothers at FAUX News came across the 4th level in MW2, in which you gun down hundreds of Russian civilians and the Russian S.W.A.T team who came to defend them. Bricks were shat and the FAUX News team called head of the Earth Defense Force, Jack Thompson. Every douche with a camera flocked to the gates of Infinity Ward's castle and waged a five year war on the villains clearly guilty of crimes against humanity.
Opposing comments from actual players, who clearly disprove FOX News' accusations that violence in video games can impede social development.
—A fine youth from GameFAQs.
Eventually all the Christ-loving skanks at FOX News gave up when the great warriors of Infinity Ward plugged up the bitches' holes with their chrome plated cocks of justice, keeping Tacgnol at bay and holding off Catnarok off for another thousand years.
Battlefield: Bad Company 2 vs. MW2 - Battle for Mount OlympFPS
For Millenia the war has waged about who is the better FPS, Battlefield or MW2. Modern Warfare fags argue that the fact everybody is playing MW2 and not Battlefield proves that MW2 is better. Battlefield fans however argue that the fact MW2 players aren't all playing Battlefield is the reason it's better. This once and for all proves that Modern Warfare 2 is a pile of shit game with no players over the age of 13 that aren't fucktarded and the declining quality is due to the fucktards who play it and not the game itself.
Every youtube commentary over this game ever
- Call of Duty 4
- Call of Duty: World at War
- Call of Duty: Black Ops
- Modern Warfare 3
- Call of Duty: Black Ops 2
- SGT FOLEY
- Battlefield: Bad Company 2
- Metal Gear Solid
- Playstation 3
- Xbox 360
- BIZARE MODERN WAREFARE 2 spec ops DEATH
- Something for the Lady Gaga fanboys
- Typical of clans playing MW2 with only one thing in mind - camp
- A Collection of your average Modern Warfare 2 experiences.
- Kid realizes MW2 sucks
- Lowtax trying to be funny
- "Modern Warfare 2 mod support is coming!" Says Infinity Ward staff -Srsly guise,srsly.
|Featured article February 15, 2010|
|Modern Warfare 2||Succeeded by|
Modern Warfare 2 is part of a series on
Visit the Gaming Portal for complete coverage.