A brony is a self-titled obsessive fanboy of the television program My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic, usually adult men who channel their latent homosexuality, pedophilia and/or daddy issues by wearing their Pinkie Pie underwear and watching a show which has an audience bracket that consists of little girls. These basement-dwelling sacks of neckbeard flesh latched their grubby hands onto everything pony as soon as they heard the whimsical theme-tune drift through their hairy ears. Bronies smothered themselves with all things related to the show, and spread their sick fetishism throughout the Internet, declaring themselves the new collective of asperger ridden no-lifes on the block.
Essentially, bronies are a rehash of the 2007-era furry community. This is true not only in the sense that their fandom revolves around anthropomorphic cartoons, they also have conventions for "mascoting" (see: fursuit) and are notorious for exchanging sexually themed images of children's shows, but also have the same persecution complex that furries are so well known for. Thus, bronies quickly rose to prominence as some of the favorite victims of the trolling community, right up next to Freenode opers and anime bloggers.
Excess of the fandom
Before one looks deeper into the horrors of the pony genre, it is important to keep in mind just how large it actually is.
Take, for instance, one of the most irritating and prolific parts of the fandom: the "music scene". YouTube is flooded with literally thousands of poorly made remixes of every song to appear in the show, some with millions of views.
Bronies are no longer a mere 4chan trend, nor a schism in the furfaggot fandom as was once believed, but rather their own spin-off of *chan and furfag "culture". Basically large enough for any sane person to ask why???
Origins and explanations
The Brony faggotry can be traced back to a trope found commonly in anime. Throughout the years the Japanese had this concept of "Moe," a character trait of cuteness exemplified by submission, humility, selflessness, self-sacrifice, dependence, a tendency to be messianic to the point of sacrificing herself for others, and most suitable for being tortured in many other ways than possible, and crying cutely while at it. This trait manifested itself in the show's character Fluttershy, and set the stage for weeaboos to look away from their tentacle porn long enough for their jizz to spatter on, and infect, the entirety of the Internet.
"Bronies" began on 4chan's /co/ (arguably the worst board, next to /lit/) after the premier of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. The original poor critical reception of the show drew their interest, and for God knows what reason, the "pony thread" was birthed.
As the series progressed, so did the cancer. Eventually spreading itself to /b/ and /v/, "bronies" were quickly becoming a staple of everyday life at 4chan. So much so, that the mods were able to have their last moment of glory.
Note that now a guaranteed way to troll these fuckers is to matter-of-factly declare that their fandom started on 4Chan. This will swiftly sound some alarms as it will simultaneously trigger mlp/'s unwarranted self importance, bellowing from the bronies who refuse to accept the "bullies" from 4Chan did anything good (for them), and fierce deepthroating from from the bronies who idolize 4Chan for some retarded reason.
Bronies vs. furries
It's hard to say what exactly the brony menace is. Are they a bunch of furfags or hipster fags? Both. My Little Pony is a show about neon girly animals, this gives the furfag community a boner. Now as for why hipsters love this show, it's clearly obvious. Hipsters hate what adults like, however, adults do not fully understand this brony thing and they don't understand why grown males would watch a show for little girls. Thus making My Little Pony perfect hipster bait for every possible hipster reason.
Despite obviously being a bunch of closet furfags, bronies claim they are not furries and will go to great lengths to prove their point. Ironically, even though bronies claim to love and tolerate all the faces of the Internet, they constantly denounce and cast-out furries from any of their boards/discussions. They do this because they think it absolves them from being trolled. They think that by siding with trolls, they will avoid being trolled themselves. Of course the very notion that a troll wouldn't just start trolling the next juicy rape culture is absurd. The bronies just obliviously go on decrying the furfags, but what they don't realize is, once the furfags are all dried up, all that's left to troll is them. In addition, some bronies have been known to claim that all bronies who clop to the show are in reality furfags and not real bronies. This is an example of a No true Scotsman. While it is indeed undeniable that there is a significant overlap between both fandoms, to say that all ponyfags who fap to the show are in reality simply furfags is a pathetic attempt at resolving the brony fandom of blame for this sickness. It is also a proven fact that if you obsess over something enough you will invariably begin sexualizing it. Are Trekkies who find scantily clad Klingon women attractive furries now?
A parent's reaction to bronies
Most bronies respond to ridicule (like all NEETs do) with either a cwc-tier fit or by just bitching out. Occasionally, though, some of the more dedicated fedora-wearers amongst them who unironically defend their fandom tooth and nail will try and get creative with the claim that their pathetic fandom is actually an act of bravery and individuality.
Note that this is textbook, and merely trotting out (no pun intended) the same bullshit argument used for years and years by furries and hopeless weeaboos to justify their own cognitive dissonance and respective faggot obsessions when they get painted into a corner.
Because, hey, what else can you do when people think you're a faggot but give yourself a blank check for being a bigger one amirite?
How To Treat Bronies In Person
- Brony – Bro + pony, male fan of MLP (ie a faggot desperate to belong somewhere)
- Pegasister – Pegasus + sister, female fan of MLP (ie, intended viewer demographic)
- Plot – The hindquarters of a pony
- Clop – To masturbate to ponies
- Parasprite – Troll
- Brohoof – Faggot version of brofist
- Skinfag – Someone who is attracted to humans as opposed to ponies
If you ever come across someone saying any of the following, please do your best to make their life a living hell.
- Love and tolerate – Ponyfag version of you mad bro?
- Dat Flank – Ponyfag version of Dat Ass
- 20% cooler – Ponyfag version of over 9000
- Ten seconds flat – Ponyfag version of at least 100
- Fluttershy is a tree – Surprisingly in-depth observation for a brony. For people, this would be followed by: "No shit retard".
- Pony should pony pony – The original ponyfag copypasta. You can see the intelligence we are dealing with here.
- Nigga she an apple – Ponyfag nigger joke.
- >no hooves – without a doubt will be the /mlp/ response to
any non-horse pornographic imageliterally any post with humans in it will result in this response. (Note: Saying it is a meme on /mlp/ will result in denial and butthurt to astronomical levels.)
- ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE – When something is said loudly and/or in all caps.
- I watch it for the plot – Ponyfag's way of saying: "I fap to this show."
- I want to cum inside Rainbow Dash – A forced meme on having sex with Rainbow Dash made by bronies from 4chan's /mlp/.
Even the furry "community" doesn't make up such asinine bullshit as this. These "memes" and "catchphrases" are really just a series of gore-esque failed abortions spewed out of the mouths of inane ponyfags desperate to make their sexual deviance look more like a "culture". A culture so loosely tied together that it looks as if its web of lies is about to fall apart at any moment? A culture so inconsistent that everybody has a vastly different opinion on everything from clopping to shitty fanfics? Ponyfags are often seen saying one thing retarded, saying something more retarded to their friends, and then doing the most fucktarded thing possible. For example, A ponyfag often says that they have nothing against cloppers. "To each his own" is the typical catchphrase. But then, they meet up with fellow ponyfags and start talking about how fapping to ponies is disgusting. But even after that, they go ahead and fap to ponies anyways. Reminds you of someone huh? So that's it? Ponyfags are just as bad as furfags right?
No. Let's find out why.
While reading this article, perhaps you felt that we were blowing it all out of proportion? Maybe these bronies we speak of aren't so bad? Boy do we wish that were true... What? Do you need proof? Sure. Not like we'd have to scour the Internet or anything. No, all you would have to do is go to Google for this shit. Here are just some of the many acts of pony faggotry. Because ED loves you.
BronyCon: The Documentary
Like a beast of the wild, this much reviled horsefucking manimal must be documented, and presented to the general for entertainment, ridicule, and eventually, overlooking. Luckily, there is already a ten minute documentary on these sad autists. However, one enterprising agent of the lulz has decided to scam these pathetic basement dwelling freaks out of their disability checks. Yes indeed. You see, it is a most intelligent plan. As the wretched ponyfag feels alienated by family, wimmins, and really, anyone outside their repugnant cult. And, due to Internet's deep immersion in the ponyfag virus, these thoughts can be easily accessed by just going to that faggot's livejournal and reading some of its emo "poetry". Well, clearly these subhumans do not deserve the validation they so desperately desire. But, by manipulating this desire, one can squeeze quite a bit of profit out of these "people". Michael Brockhoff has done exactly this, and it has seen unprecedented success. The initial goal for the project was $60,000 in 28 days; it raised over $322,000 from around 2,000 people. That's about $161 per person. See what we mean? Hell, six people donated $10,000, which alone is enough to reach the goal. Everything after that was just gravy.
But, lets say, for a minute, that this Michael Brockhoff genius turns out to be... Less of an intellect. That he does not in fact, abscond with the funds in an incredibly lulzy fashion. That this man turns out to actually be one of these perverse abominations. Well then. We would be talking about an entirely different story here. Yes, there would be a documentary. No, it would not be a very good one. Yes, Faust would probably have to draw 13 shitty pony fursonas. No, It would not be impartial in the least. Oh no, far from it. Perhaps you have been to /mlp/ recently? Seen some bronies? Seen them perpetuate that rape culture of theirs? Funny in a sickening way. Too bad that stuff won't be in the documentary. Nope, it will definitely be a gigantic act of masturbation by the brony fandom. Just a long video of celebrities being paid to praise bronies for their mantra of love and tolerance, unwavering patience, impressively high level of maturity, and what good clean fun the whole fandom is. Certainly not any of that unflattering pornography! Or all those bronies jerking it to rule 34! Or the fact that according to a survey, about one fifth of all bronies masturbate to horses, and probably more! Or that there are whole sites advancing their sick agenda and disgusting rape culture! Oh no! None of that! That would make it detailed, impartial, and remotely important! Cant have that!
The Island of Equestria
Another scam, but less skilled. It's by some dumbasses named Colton C and Cliff. These idiots are failing at scamming. So far, the fund has only raised $130. The reason the first shitpeice and the second shitpeice are so drastically different in terms of success, is because the first one aims for the feeling of alienation. Not that ponyfags don't deserve to be hated and avoided, But it's the promise of validation that makes them want to give up say... $10,000 to a fucking scam just to feel better about themselves. What this crap does is tell people, hey, were going to build a statue of ponies on an island. You will never get to see it unless you pitch in thousands of dollars, but don't you want to just give us money because ponies?
AKA The Pony Plot Perfection Project. Let uncle ED tell you a story. One day, a bunch of greasy nerdsacks were dicking around on deviant art, and, due to their enormous girth, developed their own wretched gravitational field. Soon, the sickfuckery congealed into a mass of writhing, squirming, fat. And this gigantic lump of filthy basement dweller said: "You know whats weird about characters in a little girl's show? They don't have genitalia we can masturbate to!" So the people trapped within its folds set to work on this abomination. And they called themselves, pony plot perfection participants. But you'll never guess what happened next. The horsefuckers actually thought that this was terrible! Drawing vaginas on talking horses from a little girl's show? Never! Why they would think such a thing baffles zoologists to this very day. But, the project goes on. Currently, it is unknown if the vaginas are currently being drawn, or if they are being masturbated to, But one thing is for sure. These faggots are absolutely the sickest of fucks.
Bronies are well known for being autistic no-lives who couldn't get near a girl if they were the last assperger riddled men-children on the planet, so it is only natural that one of them decided to get a little womanly action by applying force. The brony in question is one real name Vanya Holt who confessed on his tumblr to slyly face-fucking a 16 year-old girl in a parking lot, probably mistaking her for a horse. When news of this wen't public, Vanya and many of his brony followers adamantly claimed that the tween was clearly asking for it, because she told him to get out of his truck in a "sing-song voice". They went on to claim that the girl was a slut and that maxveers was somewhat aroused, and therefore had absolutely no control over his actions whatsoever. So there you have it folks, by brony logic even if a girl is telling you to get the fuck out of their sight, if they say it with a can-do attitude it is totally cool to shove your pen0r in their wet sobbing mouth.
— Vanya the brony flexing his romantic muscles.
Fighting is Magic
In the spirit of a show about love, and continuing the proud traditions of autists on the Internets being unable to into copyright, a group of losers calling themselves the Mane Six decided to make a fighting game, entitled "My Little Pony: Fighting is Magic", centering around their favorite pastel colored equine creatures.
After displaying it at the fighting game tournament Evo, they of course, received attention and support from their fellow horse-fucking neckbeards, but also claimed that they'd received a lot of interest from people who were not bronies as well. However, an ordinary person could easily point out that just because those individuals weren't bronies, doesn't mean that they weren't just as sad, because they evidently think that fighting games are serious business.
On February 8th, 2013, Hasbro sent a cease and desist order to the Mane Six team to stop their bullshit, forcing them to shut down production of the game they had been making and that Hasbro had apparently been aware of for two years, crushing the dreams of millions of button-mashing ponyfuckers the world over.
Eventually, to soothe the vast amounts of brony butthurt that had broken out all across Ponyland, MLP:FiM creator Saint Lauren Faust, herself, who had been
eagerly anticipating utterly indiffierent to the game's release, decided to throw a bone to the whining neckbeards that make up her fanbase and tentatively made an offer on her Twitter to help the Mane Six rebuild the project with new characters. Obviously, the desperate horse molestors of the Mane Six team leapt on her offer like a sex-starved Mr. Hands on a newborn foal and on March 2nd, 2013, announced that the project was continuing despite Hasbro's objection.
Needless to say, the horsefuckers all rejoiced at this, claiming that the finished product can be modified with their precious candy-colored horses to return the game to what it was originally supposed to be before the almighty C&D notice, hoping that they can slip under Hasbro's legal radar this way.
Ladies and gentlemen, don't ever try fucking making a "fan episode" of your favorite horsefucker cartoon for virgin 5-year-old girls. To make top some shit-flavored syrup on it, don't ever fucking cross it over with ANOTHER cartoon with virgin 5-year-olds.
Just a few months later, Hasbro came across this atrocity and gave it what it deserved: yet another cease and desist order. Even though most of the autistic neckbeards bitched about how terrible it was, they cried in their mother's basement sending Hasbro more death threats just as they always did.
On March 21, 2013, a fan animation titled Snowdrop was published to Silly Filly Studios' YouTube channel. The story revolves around a blind filly who is on the autism spectrum in which Special Snowflakes push for representation by making a short film about... a special snowflake. Who makes special snowflakes. Don't get the wrong idea though - the only thing "special" about this one are the people who thought it'd be a good idea in the first place.
Journey of the Spark
Down with Molestia
Bronies, and the volumes of porn they churn out, have been surviving on Hasbro turning a blind eye to their existence; which has had nothing to do with the piles of money it makes them. Well, Hasbro finally came to its senses and reacted towards this sticky swarm of odiferous man-children the way any self-respecting corporation should, sending a big fat C&D letter to any Brony who creates glorious pony fanart.
—FDaki, Maker and seller of fine, fuckable My Little Pony pillows, and other shit furry products.
What were the Bronies to do now that they'd finally drawn the ire of the only entity capable of shutting the entire shit-show they call a fandom down?
Their answer to that question was created on March 23, 2014, in the form of saveourfandom.com. The goal was to remind Hasbro who wore the pants in their awkward, non-consensual relationship via a letter writing campaign. Their passive agressive ransom note for Brony jew-gold has been preserved here for future generations to laugh at.
The website existed for exactly one day before vanishing just as quickly as it appeared; likely due to a C&D letter from Hasbro.
The irony of this is delicious.
Bronies: The Musical
Proving that they can, in fact, shove their heads even further up their own asses, a group of them have managed to cobble together a stage production which glorifies being a Brony. We wish this were a joke, they managed to raise over $18,000 to produce this piece of shit. Of course, according to them it's received nothing but positive reviews. Dedicated Ediots attempted to find reviews which spoke to how shit it really was, but couldn't because nobody with dignity paid to watch this circle-jerk take place.
Though, unfortunately, more shows are planned you can sleep soundly knowing that Hasbro will soon be sending them a C&D letter to shut this shit down.
The Great Howard Stern Butthurt
Ever since Faux News pointed out the faggotry of this new fascination with a children's show, others have been observing these basement dwellers. One of these said observers was Howard Stern, the radio host. After having his servants go to BronyCon and ask some questions, he was ready to truly give the ponyfags what they had coming for so long. Public humiliation. Not that he intended to. Indeed, he was just pointing out some facts about horsefucker "fandom". Like that firstly, they watch a show for little girls. That makes the perverse to begin with. But they took it much farther. Drawing porn, writing pathetic fanfics, making "Original Character" ponies, which were actually pony fursonas, everything furries ever did and more. Everyone knows bronies do this, and all Stern did was point out these things. With a few jokes, but what kind of radio host would he be if he didn't try to make it entertaining? Really, it was just a little humor. A normal broadcast.
So obviously, the ponyfags lost their shit like never before.
YouTube was flooded with butthurt ponyfags screaming about what a "hater" Howard Stern is. Even Tara Strong, one of the voice actors from My Little Pony got into this anti-Howard Stern hype with some nonsensical comment about the movie Private Parts. YouTube videos were whining about him, Funnyjunk, Reddit and 4chan horsefuckers were screaming about him, and his mailbox was flooded with lotion encrusted letters sealed with cheeto dust paste and filled with the butthurt of a thousand closet furfags. And all through this great shitstorm, The Internet has been laughing. Because at this point, everyone already hates bronies.
—Commander Shephard on YouTube speaks the truth.
In 2015 the toy company Mattel released a line of Thomas the Tank Engine toys called 'Minis'. The toys were small train models that were sold in blind bags aimed at 6-year-old children (Keep this in mind as you read), in this range a set of engines repainted as characters from DC Comics were made. When Sodor Island Fagsite's blog heard about this they made suggestions that the line would make a range of trains repainted as characters from 'My Little Pony'. When the blog post was released the Thomas Fan Base went APE-SHIT there beloved Thomas characters would be butchered into shitty repaints! The only people who supported the idea were autistic cloppers. What most people failed to see is that Mattel and Hasbro are FUCKING RIVALS.
- Adam Smith, a 19-year-old teen who threw himself in front of a train after being bullied by people who do not like bronies. The train is okay though. Source
- Michael Morones, an 11-year-old who hung himself after being picked on in school for bringing pony toys to school. (Seriously, just leave them at home.) Source
— Michael's parents - taking a dead kid to BronyCon
- Barneyfag - Arch nemesis of all bronies, and the only person more autistic than they are.
- Curt Sibling - The greatest cartoonist on earth, specializes in fucking with bronies.
- Dying Alone
- Feminism - A ton of bronies identify as feminists, even though feminists hate them.
- Five Nights at Freddy's - One of the fandoms to arguably surpass the brony fandom's autism.
- Howard Stern - A cunt who calls out other cunts, such as bronies, for being cunts.
- Libertarianism - The second official brony political ideology.
- Men's Rights Activist - The official brony political party.
- Michael Arega
- MLP Forums - One of the largest collection of basement dwellers on the Internet.
- My Little Pony
- MysteriousMrEnter - A brony version of the Nostalgia Critic.
- Team Fortress 2 - The unofficial game of the brony fandom and it also has an equally autistic fandom.
- Undertale - Another terrible furry fandom.
- Brandon Hole - Went postal and an heroed to embrace Applejack's hillbilly pussy in the afterlife.
- Dylann Roof
- Jerry Peet - Brony pedo who is also a transgender and feminist.
- Masem - A Wikipedia administrator/brony, and old enough to know better.
- Mr. Hands - The man who inspires them all.
- Pinkiepony - A hypocrite feminazi and brony in denial.
- Randy Stair
- Sethisto - Masturbates to a waifu villain pony name Trixie.
- Edd Gould - Yes...that guy who made that show you loved when you was 14 was actually a brony
- The Eclectic Espeon
- ToonKriticY2K - Brony Analyst who was recently accused of committing pedophilia with a 14 year old on Skype.
- Meet 'bronies' -- grown men who are fans of My Little Pony
- A lovely little wiki dedicated to the entire show You should go and make an account! Once you do that, just use this little guide.
- The bronies take Manhattan
- Their rule 34 blog which is totally not affiliated or supported by Equestria Daily
- Fluttershy meatspin no exceptions, remember?
- Even Know Your Meme have standards.
- Buzzfeed's view
- Derpibooru – The brony's main imagebooru.
This is where they host countless amounts of underaged horse porn, but thankfully you need to make an account and change your settings to see the filth.Purged. Pony lolis are now at PoniBooru.
- "Rob, who is single, has spent thousands on his hobby"
- "Journalist" "Gianna DeCarlo" trolls bronies
- "My Nationalist Pony" (Fully archived: )
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