Brittany Murphy

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She's got the blues.

Brittany Anne Murphy-Monjack is a dead crack addict who deserved worse than what she got. When not busy sucking thousands of cocks she made time to play a duck in kiddie's favorite Happy Feet. She did not win an Oscar for her roles in Clueless, Girl Intercourse or Eminem's 8 Milligrams or for her singing on family favourite Faster Vagina Meow Meow.

She first died in the film Little Black Book and then again in 2009, the latter not by acting. Not that anything she ever did could be called acting. She was sacked from the film Happy Feet 2 for being dead and hopes to make a comeback in Lost as yet another incarnation of John Locke.

Whenever a famous celebrity tragically passes ED is right on it. However, the case of Brittany Murphy was a special one. If by special you mean nobody gave a fuck and it took 3 months before somebody shat out a pathetic failed abortion style blasphemy. Fuck you Brittany Murphy, your death is less important than a fart in a hot-tub.

How to flog a dead actress

  • Take bits of the dead body and embed it in jewelry to sell to the fans.
  • Hire out the formaldehyde-preserved genital areas to necrophiliacs.
  • Like Sharon Murphy, Brittany's loving mother, and Simon Monjack, Brittany's loving husband, establish the Brittany Murphy Foundation, a charitable fund aimed at raising funds for child abduction, as well as supporting UFOs and cancer. The Foundation was officially launched on February 4, 2010 at an event at the Saban Theatre in Beverly Hills where Monjack requested donations of $1,000 per person and $10,000 per corporation to attend, although records search revealed that the foundation's not-for-profit status had not been filed, a move technically known as fraud. Soon thereafter, the foundation announced it would refund any donations received and issued an official letter on the Foundation's website.


A list of not drugs regularly snorted by Brittany off the rotting corpse of Heath Ledger.

  • Drano
  • Santorum
  • Hair Bleach
  • Fisherman's Friends
  • Night Nurse
  • Not cocaine, a not drug favoured by not gays
  • L-methamphetamine
  • Pneumonia

See Also

External Links

  • Her IMDb Why did this bitch never win an oscar?