|This person has Assburgers Syndrome, |
so you can't say anything bad! :-(
Be aware of that, you insensitive fuck.
Internet Hate Machine (or IHM for short; also known as Brittany Marie Holechko, b. April 6, 1990), also known as Internet Fatass Machine, and not to be confused with the TRUE and ORIGINAL Internet Hate Machine, is a 20-something, Internet dating, poseur mall gothic whale of an attention whore who admits that the internet is all she has (besides a home, a bed, food to eat, water supply, etc.) . It has been confirmed that, since she is fat, she was blessed with a FUPA (Fat Upper Pussy Area). She is an ex-FCTC member and the usurper of a failchan formally known as 94chan. Allegedly, Brittany has been trolling since 2005. This was when she first realized that no one would take her seriously, and was kicked out of middle school for picking a fight with the dean of the school, after she got in trouble for violating the school's dress code by wearing her trenchcoat.
In addition to obesity and an obsession with self-photography, IHM suffers from a common disorder that makes her unable to socialize in the real world without fault. When she's not busy updating her Tumblr or Twatter, she's threatening others with retrieval of their personal info for raids by friends she thinks she has at /i/.
Because of the trauma from her fucked-up childhood, IHM is unable to tell the difference between friends and trolls. This leads to her depending on her internet friends for emotional comfort, claiming that "everything she's done was done for them."
Currently, Bri can be found trying to lead of a pack of a failure trolls known as FUPA Force. She will also link you to this ED page when you converse with her online, which suggests the very real possibility that she's *proud* of being listed here. Being a fat whore, one supposes that this will probably be the apex of her achievements.
Early Life and Family
Brittany had a very troubled family life as a youth. One day her father was disappoint and decided to shoot himself right in front of her, since he had finally come to the realization that he had fathered a fat, lazy sack of shit. On top of this, her mother gave her bipolar disorder and her uncle also finger banged her asshole at his leisure. Well, I guess that's one way for your family to show their love for you. IHM is also a middle school dropout, because kids at school would laugh at her massive amounts of piercings, her spoiled cottage cheese stink (from lack of showering) and ninth wonder of the world physique.
Last Thursday, Brittany was brought into the FCTC's inner circle because she had doxed an underage furfag, despite the fact that said furfag had trolled circles around her. After the novelty of having a female in a trolling group wore off, and the FCTC got tired of having a cumdumpster groupie around, they decided to ditch her - leaving her cold, naked and defenseless.
—AnonymousX on IHM's l33t hacking abilities
To further push her internet tough guy front, IHM likes to make believe that she's a 1337 hax0r. She says she is capable when it comes to HTML/CSS, but fails so hard that she steals myspace layouts and removes all credit from the original author.
IHM has had various little conflicts with irrelevant people, but one long-running fight has been with an Australian hacker under the alias aush0k, who's notable for pwning the shit out of 420chan's Kirtaner( Only when he could take time away from his usual activity of dingo fucking). Her running her cock sucking mouth irritated him to the point where he felt the need to attack. By attack, I mean send a SWAT team to her house on three different occasions, from the same police department. She can no longer order take-away from any of her favorite restaurants due to her ruination tactics being used on herself, forcing her to find other ways to suppress her depression other than excessive eating. On top of the daily pizza floods, he filled IHM's modem with over 900,000,000 rice packets per second, knocking her offline for a couple of hours. Not to mention ordering a ton of sand to her house, which she would later have shoveled into her vagina. She would soon attempt to gather aushc0ck's personal information, and have the authenticity of the info she gathered questioned to this very day due to being a worthless obese slut. Ironically, her and aush0k at once had an intimate relationship, which was unsurprisingly held over the internet, and felt like a stupid whore when YHBT had flip turned her e-mail inbox upside down.
Like most fat, hideous, basement dwellers, IHM has been known to do a lot of online dating. Most, if not all of her e-lovers have been trolls, cheaters, or complete faggots. Trolling IHM by pretending to be a lover is a common pastime, and follows a very simple pattern: Tell her you think she can hack and is "boss," let her develop a high-strung emotional attachment (built on a terrible inferiority complex that probably has to do with her height, loneliness and the ability to set off metal detectors from a distance), and when she gets to the point of trying to be on the phone with you 24/7, tell her to fuck off. You will receive her terrible wrath of text message spam and threatening to get someone else to hack you, and receive such delights as live video feeds of wrist-cutting. This whole process takes about a day or two, which is also the length of time most can tolerate it for. The current record is somewhere around 2 weeks, done by someone with an IRL girlfriend to help them.
Here is a list of some, but not all of her e-lovers.
- Kakama's roommate
- Ghost exodus
- A 15 year old girl posing as a male hipster
- The family dog
- Your mom
Some time ago, Brittany met Ickeriss. They both had a lot in common, one being a bisexual self-proclaimed epin-ween troll and the other one being exactly the same but in male form. Due to the fact both thought they were Internet superheroes, they decided to meet up in real life to procreate. After people discovered how low Ickeriss's standards were, he decided to fabricate a story about how IHM had tried to rape him.
The result of this hideous affair was LULZY yet still saturated in fail. Ickeriss managed to fuck the hambeast and yet was too much of a useless faggot to get any nudes. However, like a true failure he did manage to have a video of him fapping released recently this year, so at least we have a bent penis to look at. Which is just great.
No matter which of the stories is true, her raping Ickeriss or him just being desperate, I think we can all agree that it went as well as can be expected from these two. Not only did we not get to enjoy her nudes, but we also don't get to see what the offspring of two of the biggest fails of the internet would look like, or see how long it would take for her to an hero in front of her kids like daddy did for her.
Lardy Gaga - Shrapnel Face
The Deliah Sykes Incident
IHM had been keeping one of her troll friends around by blackmailing him. That's the only way she can keep any of her friends around, apparently.
He and a group of friends decided to flame her on 94chan, and she started oinking that she had an IP address on one of them and that she was going to get dox with it. The IP belonged to a 15 year old troll. IHM can be trolled even by 15 year old girls.
IHM was added on MSN a little later by a male member of the group, who apologized for his friends' rude behavior and offered to give IHM information on the girl who had been trolling her. It was love at first sight for Brittany, who began saying things like "You're my new buddeh ;3" to her new hipster prey. IHM learned that the girl trolling her was named Deliah Sykes, was fifteen, and went to Judge Catholic High School, in Utah. She tried frantically to dig up information on the girl, not knowing that the person she was trying to find didn't exist, the information was all false, and that her new soulmate had been the same person all along. Brittany even paid Intellius.com to try and find a phone number on Deliah Sykes.
The young troll, under the guise of the 20 year old man, told IHM that Deliah Sykes was going on stickam to cry about being doxed. Instead, she revealed herself and told IHM that the whole thing had been a sham, while laughing and calling her a fat sack of shit. Before leaving and blocking the winner, all Brittany had to say was "epic".
The Josef Saga
Last thursday, a former DMR member/ex-elover named phuxx0r leaked some screenshots of an msn conversation he was having with IHM. In the screenshots, IHM was seen with an androgynous-looking, long-haired blond individual. He was later revealed to be a faggot named Josef Musial, an emaciated young man from Illinois whom IHM had unsurprisingly met on the internets in September 2009. Josef's sudden inclusion into Brittany's life only further shows that she has a thing for girly looking, long haired faggots.
Being the e-whore that she is, Brittany at one point, e-dated GhostExodus, the leader of a tightly knit group of skiddies known as the Electronik Tribulation Army. It has been alleged that she made ghost stoop to such lows as singing on cam. However Ghost had just been trolling Brittany in order to obtain her dox, which he later dropped.
GhostExodus is now spending time in Prison trying not to drop the soap. "What did he get sentenced for"? you might ask, "Was it for DDoSing 94chan that one time"? No, actually it was for "hacking" an air-conditioner at the hospital he worked at.
The hardest troll on the internet must have many myspaces. IHM did such a good job with these myspaces that she dropped her first and last name there along with her blogs about being raped on a ferris wheel by an old man after smoking weed. IHM's primary myspace homepage also consisted of bullshit subtle threats, interest and hobbies, a layout most likely made in the days of Web 1.0, and plenty of camwhoring goodness. She also used VampireFreaks PREMIUM because she's a fat goth.
|Major Boards||/b/, /i/, /prank/|
|Epic Wins||lol none|
94chan.org is IHM's failed attempt at making a chan website and proving to the almighty boss aush0k that she indeed does have l337 computer skills. Contrary to popular belief, 94chan was infact never IHM's website to begin with. The site was originally created by a furfag whose friend had given IHM server-side access for reasons unknown. It has been alleged though that she broke the site by making one too many wordfilters in a vain attempt to outwit her friends who now hate and troll her. On the site you'll see a black page with text claiming that the board's return is inevitable. The board's return has been inevitable since at least July '09, but it never happened. Like everything with Brittany, it was complete shit. Even when it was open.
—IHM on her nonexistent chan
January 2010 Shitstorm
In early 2010, IHM was involved in a retarded feud with KrappleGuy, creator of Legi0n. Working with IHM's former co-admin on 94chan known as TK, Krapple, Ickeriss, and co. managed to gain control of 94chan. Pretty epic trolling, huh? Well, until you consider the fact that Legi0n had to enlist the help of a pedophile furfag to "hack" a tiny chan site. A perfect example of trolls trolling trolls.
Basically in March of 2009 a PN member named Soviet trolled her into believing that he doxed the PN's leader and was going to take over the Patriotic Nigras with that information. Soviet giggled as IHM cried over her spammed chan that Soviet dropped some lulzy images that promoted the Soviet Union. IHM BAWWWWWWed for an hour and twenty minutes on skype to some person about how she loved Frizzle, Soviet went too far, Aush0k, how calling her a troll is a disgrace to trolls everywhere, and among other things, threatened to come back as a new IHM, hopefully with less tons of fat.
Trolled on Skype again
One day in late January 2010, Second Life user and owner of the 4chan-themed Woodbury University sim, Tizzers Foxchase, stumbled upon IHM's ED page and proceeded to contact IHM on skype, bitchslap her, and send her back to the kitchen.
Cool Troll Fighting Crew
—IHM on the ctfc, right before frizzle joined and she quickly shut the fuck up
To IHM's surprise, CTFC members were harder to dox than she thought. So she decided to attempt to blackmail a user of the CTFC, who was trolling her from the start of the blackmail into giving her information. The member of the CTFC then sarcastically begged for mercy. He trolled IHM and made her think she had an iron grip of him and some other members. Her so called "doxing" would not come into a realization as she was just the intelius whore for the FCTC and Patriotic Nigras. After further playing with her feeble brain the member revealed himself to be a troll and IHM decided to go back to her silly habits telling people to kill yourself and a get fucked.
—IHM raging like the fat sack of shit she is, after getting her fat ass handed to her again
The Whale Strikes Back
Within the same breath of declaring herself an "unstoppable force", in 2012 IHM began sending off legal requests to her critics. Britney took it upon herself to team with some random patent e-lawyer. IHM threatened anyone who posted anything she found questionable, without realizing the irony of her actions. The questionable material included this article, Partyvan.info, a tumblr, a deviantart account, shit load of random lulzy youtubes and a pastebin post.
- Her current Facebook profile.
- - Old profile.
- Deleted. - Suspended. - Belongs to someone else now.
- Instagram account. -
- List of URLs that she owns. - Tumblr blog.
- Blogger blog; no longer exists, but her username is up for grabs!
- Current YouTube channel.
- - Has one upload, which is some shitty hardstyle track she presumably helped produce.
- Dox dropping sock. Suspended.
- - Parody account.
- Suspended due to multiple or severe violations of YouTube's policy prohibiting content designed to harass, bully or threaten. Bebo- Bebo's a streaming platform now lol. Her Jewgle Plus Page- Speaking of dead sites, this isn't going to be around for very long now. Her formspring- This is supposed to be a lulcow article but it's starting to look like a graveyard for shitty, defunct social media sites. Brittany on myyearbook.com- I don't even know what MyYearbook is, other than dead. Stickam- Another corpse of a website. IHM's Vampirefreaks Page- Deleted.
Additional Contact Info
- Troll it for lulz
Hateful TerrorI Define Violence - The same applies MSN: [email protected]
- MSN: [email protected]
- MSN: [email protected]
MSN: [email protected]- MSN is dead.
- (812) 870-3929 - Her "current" (not checked) phone number.
- 94chan on rotteneggs.com
- #infamous on rizon, IHM's most recent irc haven
- The IHM Funpack (Huge zip archive of logs, dox, shoops, audio, screencaps, etc.) *Part 2
- I'm Here To Help You!
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|Featured article December 23, 2009|
|Brittany Holechko||Succeeded by|
Frosty the Snowman