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AustNet is an IRC network formerly run by Oneyed and RogerY that was built on the unreal ircd base with custom written services code added which makes it good enough for them to call it a new ircd appropriately titled Austhex.

It's mostly used by people that the Internet forgot and still think it's 1999. They're entirely unaware of pretty much anything that has happened in the last 15 years, like 4chan, ED, broadband, Windows 7 and multicore CPU's. As a result, pretty much anything modern escapes them and the only things they talk about are usually Australian Rules Football, bogan cars (i.e Holden and Ford) and free-to-air television.

With servers located in Australia and the USA, AustNet is an excellent IRC network to troll. If you get glined, leave it to attempt to reconnect, after a while, you get let in again. Make sure that when you get back in, you retain the same nick and say "Hi guys, I'm back" for maximum annoyance. It can also be fun to mass register nicknames on AustNet as they require no email authentication like any real ircd.

History and Events

AustNet was the target of a ddos attack by iCER/darkacid but he bragged got owned then went to court and shit but got off quickly making it irrelevant.

In 2007 there was a fight between opers and some cunt /squit most of the servers and formed a new network called AustIRC which has never had more the 50 users in its life. Many dumb AustNet users did not know what to do when this happened as the network was left with only two servers. Many nerds puckered up and offered to help in an effort to get irc pussy and soon there were more servers and connecting issues were over. Realizing that unreal was a shit ircd base, and had been owned with backdoors, AustNet decided to switch to inspircd.

In a retarded move AustNet decided to cause trouble and give operator access to iCERs best mate Stevie, who runs the servers and only faggots use these servers. Stevie in turn added his Redneck friend Blackdevil to the operator list, who owns the channel #teens and is a known Pedophile. This caused a dramatic drop in users falling from Over 9000 to nearly below 1000.

Sometime in 2008 the AustNet homepage and AustNet services help sites were defaced.

IRCop hijinks have been on the rise as of late 2014, with IRCops taking over the #melbourne channel, the most popular and most used channel on Austnet, rivaled only in user count by the #sydney horde of bots and idlers. As a result, #melbourne is now a cesspit of horrible bogans with the new channel management largely being either AFK or bogans themselves. Chatting in #sydney is prohibited as one of the ops there will be offended at any words at all and they prefer silence in their chat room. IRCops and ASD persons have also been telling ChanOPs and owners how their rooms shall be operated and run, what is and isn't allowed and who is to be kicked/banned. Most of the IRCops on Austnet are well into their middle aged years and thus are grumpy, authoritive and fascist, despite some of them being involved in the trade of child pornography.

More recently, some of the Austnet IRCops have been attempting to wipe this article out as it causes them to get very irritated around their anus, much like their first curry. One of the most hilarious texts left written to wipe was "Hi Cobaltcat, you can go and continue to block IP's all day long. I'm not going to sit back and allow trolling and defamation of AustNet to be broadcast publicly on this site. If it's a war you want, you got it." An Austnet IRCop war on ED? This would be akin to a gnat attempting war on a brick wall. No doubt there will be more hilarity, tears and rage from these people in the future.

As of 15/11/2014, if you paste the link to this site on Austnet, you will be insta-zlined. Maximum butthurt achieved.

Notable Users

Awolf aka mrwuf

Awolf is a 30 year old man (as of 2014) who lives at home with his dearest mother and cat, doesn't work and eats KFC a lot, while pretending to work out. He is well known for telling people in his personal room, #cats, that he's off to do some "weights", only to return 30 seconds later. #cats is an interesting channel where Awolf goes to seek solace, but only finds mockery and laughter at the hands of many. He is also known by the name mrwuf, further cementing his status as a faggot furry. He likes to stalk the dating sites for profiles around his town (known for having far more men than women) then links the girls he likes in his chat room. Nothing ever happens though, because it's Awolf and, while despite talking about knowing what women want (like how virgins talk about sex), he's on IRC without fail every day and night.

In more recent news, Awolf had his dole/welfare payments suspended due to refusing to participate in the "Work for the Dole" program. With no income at all now, he mooches further from his mother and has sunk more into the permanent basement dwelling moleman lifestyle. He has gone into self-imposed exile from #cats, after the users of the channel he made trolled him so much about being a sexless, jobless loser that he had to leave, transferring ownership over to Jefferson. His MO now is to sit in channels and offer his one sided opinion how everyone else in the room are just males trying to posture over and dominate each other because they are either gay or unsure of themselves, just not him. Since anything he says never has anything to do with any conversation and no one actually responds to his rants, you can pretty much ignore him or risk being judged and psychoanalysed (basically he just says you're unhappy, gay and unsure of yourself and need to be more like him).

Lo aka Christopher

lo aka Chris. lo is in the closet, but only comes out when drunk or on drugs, often telling male users he'll suck them off for more drugs. When sober he denies all knowledge of this. He once hired a hooker, but during foreplay found he couldn't keep it up and the hooker left. He's also known for looking a lot like Mr. Bean. He's 35 (as of 2014) and still a virgin. He chats up women online, only to drive them off with his issues which involve being unable to accept that he's gay. During his drug fueled rants, he's admitted to doing gay porn and being in a mental ward with a Canadian transexual who he fondled, but nothing else. You can see lo in action here. His latest IRC nick is Christopher, which he pretends is a different person to Lo. He'll often proclaim he's quitting drugs and booze, only to complain later that he couldn't get weed or that he's now fried. He has a cat that he wishes was a person so he can fuck it, but I guess if you're as drug fucked as Lo, that's probably not too out of the norm.

In his drug addled haze, lo/Christopher likes to make really shitty techno/rave music, which you can find here. It's rumoured he tortures his cat, records the sounds and sound tunes this into the abomination of audio he unleashes on the word.

lo aka Chris

Bastardly_One aka B1

Bastardly_One is an example of a perfect person to troll. Picture can be found here: He plays a constant victim role, likes to cry out that he's being abused and often insults people who he tries to get support from in a weird sort of masochisitc self-defeating cycle. On the subject of such, he's also into hardcore BDSM and has a Fetlife profile found at (text can be found at in which he describes himself as a Bitch, possibly inferring he likes to dress up as a ugly woman and pretend to be a Dominatrix of some kind, preferably with other trannies. He has a history of drug abuse and has a mental disorder which causes him to have issues with paranoia and mood swings. It's been alleged that his BDSM dungeon was raided and police seized a computer of his as evidence, which also meshes with a reputation he has for liking younger girls. He's also known for causing major amounts of IRC drama as can be seen here: and more pics can be found at: If you plan to troll Bastardly_One, make sure you log it and put it up here for all to see!


Picard is a well known pedophile on Austnet who frequents the #melbourne chat. He has been known to attempt to solicit gay men to meet him in a motel room in Melbourne, as well as trying to lure a 15 year old girl, Erynn, over to his house in an almost Chris Hanson "to catch a Predator" style. He's a bald man, early 40's from Mildura who runs an A/C company and is known for his love of travel to Thailand. His latest trip involved a ladyboi and his wife getting it on without his knowledge, which is why he's going for a divorce process and is very upset lately. He's been trying to pick up underage girls on IRC again, which will only result with his fate becoming the following:


Pieter is another junkie loser in #melbourne, no one likes him yet he fees the need to chat there every day. His facebook can be found at and as you can see, he believes himself to be Neo from the Matrix. Or at least, dress like him and think he's awesome. Pieter is in love with himself but like Austnet, hasn't left the 90's. He constantly "thrusts" because he believes he's headfucking everyone, despite everyone just telling him to fuck off and go away/an hero himself.

Jefferson aka Kuniva or Jeffros

Jefferson is a great troll target, he'll always bite and reacts like an angry drunk bogan. Make sure to bring up that he got convicted for assault (he beat up a woman) and likes to act tough on the Internet (but he only hits women). His catchphrase is "bumjacked yer dad" which implies he had anal sex, forcibly, with your father. Ironically, he hates anyone who is gay while proclaiming his sexual acts with other men. Also goes by the nicks Jeffros and on occasion LeroyBrown. He is the current owner and only ChanOP of #cats at time of writing, cementing his place as the king of retards and losers.


Tigger_ hangs out in #politicaldebate, he prtends to be a 54 year old on disability who lives at home with his ancient fossil mother in a place called Birdsville, aka buttfuck nowhere. No doubt pretending to be old is some kind of fetish he has. His greatest accomplishment in life was buying a collection of manga comics. He's a racist, a sexist, a homophobe and hates atheist scum. In short, he's a pedophile who likes to trade yaoi with Glenn (metioned below). He's also dated and slept with bee_girl.



BlackDevil is an IRCop of Austnet who has a script tied into to his IRC client that auto-informs on Youtube and TinyURL links. He also has a script that will auto z-line any user who links to this article in any room he is in. BlackDevil is a known #cats regular who recently pulled off a coup over the #melbourne channel, due to his dislike for the active ChanOP Serenity as well as wanting his #cats friends to be able to partake in the only active chat room on all of Austnet.


Glenn is an old fart who gets grumpy at anyone who speaks. He's one of the ASD staff and will dictate to chanops how their room should operate. He hangs out in a range of rooms that no one ever talks in, so feel free to join and spam about how he likes yaoi. If you use Kiwiirc to connect, he'll think you're someone called "werewolf20" who I can only imagine killed his cat and stole his TV for the amount of hate he has for this unknown.


Lwaxana is an IRCop who pretends to be an older lady who digs being Troi's mother on Star Trek, when in fact it's really an old trekky guy who gets off on wearing beehive wigs and ugly seqiun gowns. He will occasionally pop into a channel to watch what is going on and then advise/order the ChanOPs on whom to remove. They recently asked someone about this, in relation to this article: "<Lwaxana> question: Do you understand about Australian defamation laws?" Well, funnily enough, YES WE DO. Good luck getting anything on this article dealt with under defamation, because you first of all need a reputation to defame WHICH AUSTNET AND ITS CHATTERS DO NOT HAVE!!! Oh, Lwaxana, you make us lol.

1337 Mods

Please note trolling the Operators on AustNet is NOT RECOMMENDED as they practice Computer Science III and have unlimited resourses and if you piss them off they will attack you and get your Internets turned off as shown here:

trekster will kill you
Session Start: Sun Feb 08 12:34:47 2009
[12:34:47] Session Ident: trekster ([email protected])
[12:34:47] <trekster> you flooded my channel
[12:34:53] <whybanme> i did?
[12:35:00] <whybanme> i don't flood
[12:39:24] <whybanme> which channel?
[12:41:15] <whybanme> So i cant register my nick anymore?
[12:42:12] <trekster> You can evade all day long, but everytime you do it's logged by iinet* 
[12:42:30] <trekster> and when we contact them and they look at the dhcp logs and see you a new host being allocated every 30 seconds 
[12:42:36] <trekster> your going to get your service cancelled, 2 weeks without ADSL can be very annoying.
[12:42:47] <whybanme> It can be.
[12:43:22] <whybanme> whats the reason for channel suspension?
[12:43:37] <trekster> Your nickname will be available for registration in 2 weeks, if i see anymore floods it'll increase to 2 months
[12:43:49] NOTICE whybanme:*** You are banned from this IRC server
Session Start: Sun Feb 08 13:40:57 2009
[13:41:02] <whybanme> you zlined the wrong person asshole, i wasnt flooding
[13:49:45] <trekster> I didn't just start guessing who was responsible, we can track users through the phone system
[13:50:25] <trekster> We can also pull logs from more than you realise
[13:51:26] <whybanme> lol, you are a fuckhead mate, you dont know shit
[13:51:29] NOTICE whybanme:*** You are banned from this IRC server

After this revelation trekster had his oper powers removed ;(

Related Articles

External Links

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