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When he wasn't busy working as a "overnight IT help-desk assistant" he could be found on Bluehell and EDIRC. Aush0k spent most of his twenties claiming to ruin people's imagechan experience and being a complete failure on IRC. His primary hobby was falsely claiming responsibility for: the packet rape of (711chan, 4chan, 420chan, not420chan), running LulzSec, and everything that's left his fat faggot mouth. By hiding behind his BFF's dshocker and Cromlech "CBOSS" they were able to forward 420chan some vacation time, to the tune of a week, because what's better than being king of the faggot pile? He was left with only his blog pride & fuckbuddy C afterward as his comrades later fell victim to Operation Boss Roast. Following these events he tried to become the big boss of Lulzsec but was rejected. He told Aussie Police that he continued to forward sick time to overstrained websites such as the entire PSN network, various computer "security" agencies, and the CIA but he has the hacking skills of a 12 year old. Never the less, various media outlets widely reported this as fact even though the only thing Aush0k has ever hacked is his microdong. Currently he is claiming to be the leader of Lulzsec and facing federal bragging charges.
Aush0k's Early Days
This intrepid shit chatter began his
Internet career Reason for going to jail lol as many had: being a pasty faced Counter Strike player. Spending his adolescence mindlessly grinding away at South Korean l33t gamers wasn't enough for him, though, so he decided to begin stealing poorly written code so he could brag about getting banned by 12 year old server admins. After mastering AIMbots he moved onto the chats of Bluehell IRC a skiddie cove popular with people who weren't in the Outback Steakhouse. He slowly honed his master class hacker skills here by watching poor abbo bootleg copies of Hackers and posting pictures of himself in poorly lit rooms. However, he was surely destined for greatness and when BlueHell fell, he did what all Aussie children do when not watching the Crocodile Cunter- he started posting on 4chan. Unfortunately for him, he was not greeted with pictures of pokemon and dogcocks but with derision. He reeled back in horror and ran back crying to #ezbake oven where he cried to his underground hacker lair to help him take down the Internet. The following transpired:
1. 420chan and the /i/nsurgents are targeted first and were quickly cooked in the ez bake oven.
2. 711chan was hit, in an attempt to incite action against C & Aush
3. CBoss & Aush visited the partyvan IRC servers, and CBoss took them offline. When they let it back on, they visited #insurgency where januszeal and all of the other Admins sucked both of their dongs,
Victory was claimed even though the real story was that people who run off the shelf weeb imagechans have the security experience of a fat girl obsessed with stuffing their face with pocky, JanusZeal is completely inept at doing anything but having his ass fucked, and chanfags can't seem to operate basic database software. Aushok & Cromlech thought that they could utilize the forces of Anonymous for their own needs, and said they would equip them with a small, outdated oven & a lifetime supply of KFC Vouchers. After the realization that assimilation, reformation or crowning any of the *chan trolls as associates or lackies was impossible due to their level of inferiority, the bosses Cromlech & Aushok left the chan sites and IRCD's alone
Bitches Fuck Shit Up
Aush0k, being the shit sucking loser that he is, decided to upload a video of himself back in 2009 proclaiming his "return to the internet". In the video, he talks like a fat teenager who just discovered youtube about BOSS OWNING a few first time 4chan users and plebs from the Internet. These nobodies include, Dshocker (his former chatfren), Brittany Holecko (his former e-gf), some other insignificant faggots who he circle jerked with and so on. Fun fact: in the video, he is wearing his girlfriend's pink pajama pants. Aush0k lacked any filter whatsoever when interacting with his various love interests, until they dumped the fuck out of him, and could commonly be found in threads such as this:
—lol tell ur bitch to come here
Here are some words of wisdom if you are going to be a l33t internet haxor and self proclaimed "legende".
Do not allow your stupid cunt of a whore girlfriend to video tape you singing along karaoke style to some faggotty-ass shit song from a shitty movie. If your bitch girlfriend does get you to do that, make sure the rotten bitch doesn't upload the video onto the internet for all to see, as this will ruin your e-cred and cause your self esteem to drop down a few BOSS notches. Additionally, do not allow her to post on any Internet forums, let alone with your face plastered all over her posts. Finally, after she dumps your sorry ass, do not sob deeply and openly when she leaves you and you head to IRC.
During his time as the self-proclaimed boss of the Internet, aush0k was smitten by a disgusting grease whale. They were the perfect match. Both enjoyed being autistic power hungry nerds, claiming to ruin chans they never hacked, and taking the Internet incredibly seriously. During their time as Internet pals they regularly chatted about how they were both going to hack the planet. In between posting on imageboards about how cool they were, the two would have hot passionate IRC sessions. Unfortunately for Brittany, aush0k realized he didn't want to fuck 300 pounds of Spanish flavored lard. In the ensuing fallout, he did what all elite hackers do and jumped on AIM to inform him of how hard he owned her using borrowed spoofing programs. The rest is history.
How do I hack ED?
Now at the pinnacle of his confabulated power, aush0k decided to make his voice heard on EncyclopediaDramatica. He began by writing himself into articles and generally acting like a overly caffeinated sperglord. Careful to always mention how feared and respected he was he generally intimidated no one. Next he attempted to write articles about minor people no one fucking knew or cared about always proudly displaying references to his historic chan career. With that not being enough to stroke his massive dickslurping ego, he turned to writing a page about himself from which this very article was rehabilitated. In summary, aush0k was a shitlord asshat whose only success in ED or ED IRC was talking to himself.
Aush0k's "Hard Chats"
Apr 15 15:37:01 * aush0k ([email protected]) has joined #ed Apr 15 15:37:05 <PieAreSquare> Yeah, I meant the people who don't want to do a SFW wiki Apr 15 15:37:06 <LYNX> we all die anyways Apr 15 15:37:10 <Finney> and yes, fucking anon is sooooo stupif Apr 15 15:37:11 <aush0k> hello faggots Apr 15 15:37:14 <Finney> the forums will be NSFW Apr 15 15:37:16 <PieAreSquare> Not everyone is going to want to contributo to ohi Apr 15 15:37:19 <aush0k> what has happened to ed ? Apr 15 15:37:21 <Finney> aush0k: hello boring troll Apr 15 15:37:27 <kasper> PieAreSquare, good Apr 15 15:37:28 <Finney> aush0k: ED evilved Apr 15 15:37:32 <Finney> evolved also Apr 15 15:37:37 <PieAreSquare> ashok: We're not doing it any more, fuck off Apr 15 15:37:55 <Finney> lol Apr 15 15:38:03 <LYNX> aushOk, what's wrong? Apr 15 15:38:05 <PieAreSquare> We're on holiday forever Apr 15 15:38:07 <aush0k> the death of encyclopediadramatica may be attributed to attracting the attention of irc.grove.bz #Grove Apr 15 15:38:20 <PieAreSquare> Never heard of them Apr 15 15:38:21 <Finney> aush0k, if you think that's true, be my guest Apr 15 15:38:21 <PieAreSquare> FUck off Apr 15 15:38:22 <LYNX> ok Apr 15 15:38:33 <ttj> WHY DID WE OFFEND IRC.GROVE.BZ Apr 15 15:38:35 <ttj> WHY Apr 15 15:38:36 <ttj> YOU ASSHOLES Apr 15 15:38:44 <PieAreSquare> I thought it had been well established that we'd been bought and now we're all rich Apr 15 15:38:48 <Finney> lolol Apr 15 15:38:49 <LYNX> aushOk, go start an article about that Apr 15 15:38:53 <Finney> Pie, true Apr 15 15:38:58 <Finney> lol Lynx Apr 15 15:38:59 <Finney> yes Apr 15 15:39:07 <Finney> that is the appropriate course of action: Apr 15 15:39:07 <deuZ> [00:40:15] <aush0k> the death of encyclopediadramatica may be attributed to attracting the attention of irc.grove.bz #Grove Apr 15 15:39:08 <PieAreSquare> I can has my jewgolds nao, Sherrod Apr 15 15:39:13 <deuZ> what the fuck is irc.grove.bz? Apr 15 15:39:19 <deuZ> is that some fucking faggot hivemind? Apr 15 15:39:22 <PieAreSquare> Never heard of it Apr 15 15:39:27 <deuZ> YOU Apr 15 15:39:28 <deuZ> PieAreSquare Apr 15 15:39:35 <deuZ> why did you molest me Apr 15 15:39:40 <aush0k> [17:41:10] <+deuZ> what the fuck is irc.grove.bz? Apr 15 15:39:40 <aush0k> [17:41:16] <+deuZ> is that some fucking faggot hivemind like ED? Apr 15 15:39:46 <PieAreSquare> The answer to that question Apr 15 15:39:46 <Finney> lol Apr 15 15:39:51 * Finney sets ban on *!*@4D73B2E7.7638D553.ACEAA30.IP Apr 15 15:39:55 <Finney> yes hello Apr 15 15:39:59 <PieAreSquare> Is the same as the answer to EVERY question which starts "Why did you molest me" Apr 15 15:40:01 <Finney> you are not saying anything of value Apr 15 15:40:04 <PieAreSquare> Because you were asking it, obv Apr 15 15:40:15 <deuZ> PieAreSquare, was not asking to get molested on the wiki Apr 15 15:40:15 <deuZ> yet i did Apr 15 15:40:16 <deuZ> by you Apr 15 15:40:16 * aush0k ([email protected]) has left #ed
THE ABBO POPO SHOWS UP
—THIS ISNT HARMLESS FUN
Aush0k was arrested by the didgerido-gooders of the Aussie Feds for grave computer crimes and nefarious hacks. He was quickly awarded a Fosters and a jail cell in Sydney. It has been revealed that aush0k was actually the leader of LulzSec and that Sabu was merely a puppet. However, because the world's entire effort at accurate reporting is fucking zero they never checked their facts. He was, in fact, a hanger0n much like his entire Internet career. Despite the world police holding Sabu for the better part of almost two years, it took the authorities much time to update their Twitters before they could arrest this cubicle slave. He is described as an IT worker who held many sensitive government MSpaint files as the Australian government has no idea how to utilize the Internet. RIP aush0k you 27 year old fuckup.
Aussie version of Goatse
Aush0k, being the shitstabbing queer he is, decided to show off his unwashed anus on MSN to his gay lover Taekesi.
Notice how it's shaved; obviously his boyfriend is into shaved buttholes. Also what's up with it being all pink and stretched? ugh #closet
Why u chattin at me?
Y U GET NULL ROUTED SON????
- jewlion ([email protected]) Quit (Input/output error)
- @plasma ([email protected]) Quit (Resource temporarily unavailable)
- +Tony`Stark ([email protected]) Quit (Resource temporarily unavailable)
- Ms_Mister ([email protected]) has joined #420chan
- [FBI] sets mode: +ao Ms_Mister Ms_Mister
- Kakama sets mode: +v Ms_Mister
- +whurrk ([email protected]) Quit (Client exited)
Aush0k can work on it while in prison
- Stolen Facebook accounts. -His current yt account used to sell
- -Old Youtube account
-Aush0k Boss's current IRL girlfriend.Dumped LOL!!
- 16-year-old girls with his l33t hacker lingo into doing what he wants. One of his current Facebook accounts used for attention whoring and scaring
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