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Africa

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Technically, it is also a space of spades
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Ever driven through the Ghetto? Now imagine a ghetto the size of an entire fucking continent and you'll begin to understand the IRL edition of Planet of the Apes. Africa (also known as "Blackistan", "Africoon", "Assfrica", "Niggerland", "Lolfrica", "Africunt", "Aidsfrica", "Gayfrica", "Rapefrica" or "Hell") is a wretched hive of scum and villainy further south than Europe and much darker, almost completely uninhabitable where (with the exception of Egypt) Civilization has never progressed beyond primitive Stone-Age tribal shit-throwing. Africa is made mostly of dirt, AIDS, diseases, Apes, Rapes, Apes that rape, Rape of apes, Poisonous oversized grapes, Biohazard warning tape, and Homicidal dudes who escape.

It is generally accepted that the only white people found in Africa are intelligent, kind Europeans who give kittens and free textbooks to black families on a regular basis. The lunatic Africans kill them in return for their kindness. Proof.

History

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Afrocentrism.

The entire continent has never progressed at all due to the fact that it is uninhabited by actual Humans, only by niggers whose evolution never progressed beyond that of the monkey. Despite the fact that you can strike precious minerals such as diamond and Uranium anywhere you dig, the indigenous animals are to retarded to be able to comprehend Human technology and government systems, instead eating each other and/or raping chimpanzees (this is where HIV originated from). There has never been a day in African history where somebody isn't starving or war isn't going on, or anything less than 100 children have been pwned. The only way to keep up with this high death rate is by making babies as fast as possible, raping even more people and therefore spreading AIDS. Despite the whole world pouring money into it, they still can't figure how to stop raping and eating each other. And they are so stupid that instead of moving, they'd rather walk three miles every day for water.

African Civilization

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: WE WUZ KANGZ.

Darwin tells like it is

African Civilization is an oxymoron made up by liberal autists that have nothing better to do but wallow in nigger's shit and AIDS. African civilization is a myth made up by the American government to make niggers think that their 'friends' in Africa (That actually hate American niggers, because they are the descendants of the slave class in Africa) are smart (they are not). If you 'learn' about African civilization in history class, call your teacher out on his bullshit and say "African civilization is an oxymoron" and proceed to An Hero the entire class and yourself.

Economy

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Welfare.

There are two wonderful jobs you can get in Africa. One is spreading AIDS, and the second is becoming a child soldier. People serving in both occupations are on average about two years old. Morons like Bono made Amerikkka give a lot of money to Africa, but it's just as shit as it's ever been. The odd celebrity will also deposit a few thousand bucks to the continent to get rid of that extra money lying around while keeping up their image to appear as though they genuinely care. Billions has been put towards the ongoing poverty over the years, yet it's still a shithole, even when basic education for farming has been introduced.

Healthcare

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Death.

Feeling unwell? You have AIDS. But never mind, just pop along to your local witch doctor, because niggers are too dumb to build a decent medical center. They've got enough bizarre and wonderfully useless concoctions that'll most likely put you out of your misery rather than heal you of it. Tastes funny? Stop bitching! Because you know what they say, if it tastes bad it's good for you!

Frequent appointments to the Voodoo Hut may also involve having your daughter's clitoris cut off with a blunt rock. Remember girls, only men in Africa are privileged to the joy of sexual pleasure!

Negromancy

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Witchcraft.

Africa is a place where black magic genuinely happens. It is hard for western observers to perceive the subtle ways in which magic works, but the savage is more in tune with nature's mysteries and this explains why IRL examples of witchcraft, conjuring, lycanthropy, and similar ju-ju events tend to look completely fucking stupid when filmed.

Here are some examples. Warning, do not watch if you are of a nervous disposition.



The self-driving car - another nigger invention stolen by whitey

This tree is bewitched

Compelling evidence of lycanthropy

A magician's curse has closed this woman's punani

This witch crashed while flying above a hut


African Culture



This is Africa

The National Anthem of Africa

Movies in Africa

Laws on Homosexuality

Like indians,africans cant poo in the loo


Tourism

Nuvola apps xmag.png Moar info: Justine Sacco.


There are thousands of reasons why the holidaymaker should go to Africa. Millions. We're not going to list them all because it would take too long. But you can look forward to:

Whatever your reason for visiting Africa, we can guarantee you that you will find it difficult to leave.


National Pastimes

Some blacks participate in the human race
Oh snap!
Bitches gonna get raped!

Africa is a simple land of simple pleasures. These pleasures consist of eating shit you find on the ground, AIDS, rape, and rape with AIDS.

In Africa, they will eat ANYTHING. See that monkey? It's food. Oh look, a pile of cow shit! Food! If it tries to run away, the Africans will hurl spears and rocks at it until it stops moving. Some African tribes evolved the habit of kicking things to death instead. Thus, African soccer was born.

Whatever can not be eaten will be fucked. AIDS supposedly came from some bored African fucking a green monkey. Why anyone would fuck a creature that has obviously gone rotten is beyond the understanding of most civilized countries, but this is Africa - deal with it! And what is fucking when one party isn't into it? RAEP!

Africans use rape for everything - Seriously! Rape is used to cure faggots, get wimmin back into the kitchen, show how manly you are, pass the time, proper disposal for rancid monkey carcasses, and more! In fact, tribal medicine even says that raep cures AIDS. However, retards in Africa don't know that it won't work, ensuring much lulz to be spread around the continent.

Little do many know, but there is indeed a vaccine created for the AIDS virus. Too bad nobody in Africa can afford it. There are too many faggots in the Western world loaded with money to even care, dat's why they got the AIDS. Major butthurt and SLAVE pwnage.



Wild niglets perform their war-dance

A tribe that hasn't discovered fucking fire yet

African rave

Africans who have never met white people before

Moar African rave


Politics

Corruption

If there's one aspect of modernity that the stinking cess-pit of Africa has embraced, it's corrupt military dictatorships. Present-day Africa is mainly notable for the number of Nigglers that it has produced, some of whom are so spectacularly mad and vicious that they make Saddam Hussein look like a jolly decent chap and a bit of a shrinking violet. None of Africa's tyrants has ever been overthrown by the USA, but that might be because America knows from first-hand experience that freeing niggers just isn't worth the trouble in the long run. Here is a slideshow of some of the dark continent's top-rated tyrants.


Censorship



The Dark Internet Continent

Surprisingly, the internet is not censored anywhere in Africa. Not-so-surprisingly, this is because only 12% of Africans have any internet access. That minority consists of people who live within a day's travel of the new-fangled "internet cafés" and can afford to spend a whole week's income just to waste 30 minutes waiting for a single .gif animation to download. (Did we mention that only 1% of Africans has access to broadband?)

At present, internet usage is so rare that in (e.g.) Burkino Faso, a regulatory body called "the Superior Council of Communication" can effectively monitor the entire online population to ensure compliance with local law.

In May 2012 the Council issued a formal warning to a site after a user insulted the nation's President during a forum debate, forcing the site's owners to publish an apology and undertake to prevent any further misconduct.

The whole continent of Africa currently has fewer phone lines than New York City but this may change in the future. If it does, expect the phenomenon of "Eternal September" to be replaced by "Eternal Kwanzaa," in which a large amount of online activity will consist of niggers trying to put curses on their enemies by sending them the "I Love You" virus. It is furthermore estimated that by the year 3000 the entire GDP of Nigeria will be derived from 419 scams. But more optimistic forecasts estimate that most of Africa will have died of AIDS before this can happen.

African TV

Incredibly, television has been accepted by the people of Africa, without TV salesmen being hacked to death by villagers. Since the entire continent is essentially medieval but with electricity, it is believed that Africans regard TV as a form of crystal ball, which reveals faraway wonders when it is gazed upon. And it does indeed produce wonders, if you are from a civilized country you will scarcely believe your eyes at the content produced for African audiences.

A hard-hitting Kenyan TV News investigation that makes several unexpected detours
November 17, 1993 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
(You can tell he means business when he promises to eliminate 419)
Troublesome mermaids are dealt with firmly in Nigeria. Full-length original YouTube Favicon.png here
January 29, 1986 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
Zimbabwe's most popular soap - a gritty depiction of real life (i.e., bike theft, mud huts, and witches)
November 14, 2017 - "We interrupt your scheduled viewing for an important announcement..."
A well-edited episode of Ghana's favorite drama series climaxes in a gruelling fight
(May or not be in English, can't really tell for sure)
A typical TV advertising campaign, based on everyday African life

Europe and Africa

African bird sanctuary.jpg
Europe's relationship with Africa is something like this.

Just as the first European settlers came to America, conquered the Moors and the Indians (feather, not dot), and then enslaved Africans and robbed them of all their resources, white Americans of today will continue to keep black people as pets in cages, ghettos, and BET where, as far as the country clubs are concerned, they belong.

These retarded apes still haven't done anything to improve this country, well, with few exceptions, but those people were exceptions because their ancestors were raped by white people. All those negro preachers in the NAACP (Niggers Appreciating A Chunky Pussy) might as well take a rope and hang their own damn selves. These theories are dominant, because no black person could receive enough of an education to disprove those racist beliefs except for Martin Luther King Jr.

Foreign AIDS

Lately, a lot of whining liberals have been protesting to introduce foreign strains of the AIDS virus into the African population. Little do they know that the AIDS is an American secret weapon to destroy the dark skins and the homosexuals, mostly for Africa and their overpopulated shit holes.

Often, people will hold benefit concerts and other gay shit in the name of foreign AIDS. However, the bleeding hearts don't know this usually goes to the Jew bankers in New York instead of the fucktards in Africa. Jew bankers with foreign AIDS - HA! Serves them right.

300 Africans

Contrary to the faggot Spartans, the African 300 leader had much more trouble inspiring his troops. Simply think of him saying "Africans! Tonight, we dine in...oh wait, we don't have any food." Therefore, their end would have not been caused by a retard that looked strangely similar to that ugly bitch, but by the mere lack of cheeseburgers in their McDonald's and by failing at purification through the fucking of one-year-olds.

Gallery


BzzzzzBzzzzzzBzzzz.... About missing Pics


See also

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External links

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Africa is part of a series on Black People
TemplateNigger1.png
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Places

AfricaAfro-chanAtlantaDead Nigger StorageE.S. Nigger Brown StandEgyptGambia ♠ The GhettoHabbo HotelKenyaLiberiaMediatakeoutMozambiqueNawlinsPrisonRepublic of Sierra LeoneSomaliaSouth AfricaSudanTanzaniaWashington, DCZimbabwe

Personas

AboriginalBlackineseBoko HaramChavCripsGothNativeNiggerNegressNigraOFWGKTATransniggerWiggerYounger Woolwich Boyz

People

Abner LouimaAdria RichardsAfro NinjaAfroduckAinsley HarriottAl SharptonAlison FloydAmanda KijeraAmericanDad86Mychal BellAntoine DodsonBags of MoneyBANGSBarry BondsBernie MacBill ClintonBlack DiligentBarack Hussein ObamaBLACK_MANBLACKB0NDBLACKbusterCriticBlackwashingBomani ArmahBrandon PhillipsBrenda WilliamsC-NOTECandyJunkieCarltonCasey BrezikCharles RamseyCharlie Check'mCheyenne CherryChris DornerCondoleezza RiceCRoadwarriorCulexorDangermanDave ChappelleDcigsDeborrah CooperDr. Laura SchlessniggerDramasetterEDP445Fresh PrinceFuture the rapperG-ZayGary ColemanGeneral Butt NakedH2OHappy NegroHerman CainIsaac HayesIsmaaiyl BrinsleyJadaJames WatsonJeremiah TrueJesse JacksonJkidJoseph KonyKanye WestKerney ThomasKobe BryantLatarian MiltonLil BLoud NigraM0M0koMadThad0890MajelaZeZeDiamondMalcolm XMark EssexMartin Luther King, Jr.Marvin Morvan and Alex TeniolaMary Alice AltorferMaurice ClemmonsMichael JacksonMichael VickMike TysonMintahMiss LandmineMr PregnantMr. TMuteba KidiabaNawlinWikiNicki MinajNigger PigRick RossOFWGKTAOG LocOJ SimpsonOld Spice GuyOprah WinfreyP DiddyPurple AkiQueen KongRachel DolezalReverend XRobert Butler Jr.Rocky LockridgeRon MexicoRucasRudy EugeneSenator Barack Hussein ObamaSheneequaSoulja BoyStarlaglamSteve Hodder-WattSweet BrownTacgnolTarisai VusheTay ZondayTedius ZanarukandoThe Booty WarriorThe CrackheadThe TrashmanTiger WoodsTony EvereadyTony48219Tookie WilliamsTrayvon MartinTyra BanksUnMaskingTheTruthValisHDWilliam UnekWrong Location Nigger

Parlance

Are You Serious?BECAUSE MY CAPS LOCK KEY IS LOUDBix NoodBrraa pap pap papBOOYA!Dat AssDINDUNUFFINEbonicsENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU SPEAK ITFirst World ProblemsFlea Market MontgomeryFuck The PoliceGeorge Bush doesn't care about black peopleHack is Wack!Happy NegroI Go Chop Your DollarImma Let You Finish IM PRESSIN CHARGESNiggers tongue my anusNot racistRead a BookScrub Me Mama With A Boogie BeatSittin On Tha ToiletSmell yo dickThanks ObamaThe BoondocksThese CuffsWHOO

Pastimes

365Black.com419 Nigerian Email ScamsBasketballBlackbirdBooty ShakingChikinsChimpoutConspiracy theoriesDogo Nahawa MassacreDolemiteFUBUHypebeastJenkemKFC Double DownKool-AidLinux for NiggersNigga Know TechnologyPolice AbolitionPool's ClosedRacismRapRapeRiotsSoulja Boy Tellem ChatSwagThe Black SentinelThe Great Black Dick Hoax (see also Niggerdick and Niggercock)TwitterUbuntuVoodooVuvuzelaWatermelonzWorldstar Hiphop

Past

BLACK FACE contempoLynchingNO NIGGERSSlavery (see also Nigger Manual)

Present

AIDSAll The Niggers Are DeadBlack People Love Us!Chocolate RainComputer Science IIICulexorGay Nigger Association of AmericaJena SixP.A. PalaceSheeeitThere are no niggers on the InternetUnemployment ♠ and Welfare

Enemies

A. Wyatt MannAznCopsDylann Storm RoofEbola virusEmploymentEpic Beard ManIlluminatiKu Klux KlanJames WatsonJohnny RebelJustine SaccoKramerRacismSpicsPopobawaWWhite people

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See Also For drama in your neck of the world, please consult the Encyclopdedia Dramatica Lulz Map. Also see: ED:Map