Senator Barack Hussein Obama

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Illinois' Black Lincoln


The first Black Leader

Senator Black Hussein Obama, also known as باراك حسين أوباما, Baruch ibn-Baruch al-Husseini al-Obalamiya, Baraka Hussein Abu Oumama, Rabbi Barry Herschel Soetorowitz, Barack Osama, That One, Barack the Magic Negro or Black Jesus was the 44th President of the United States of America. He defeated John McCain for the prize of being the next fuckwit to run the country even further into the ground. In 2016, he was succeeded by the God-emporer of mankind; Donald J. Trump.

To retards like Glenn Beck and Fox News fans, Barack Iraq "Saddam" Hussein Obama Bin Laden Jr. is an unpatriotic Islamic Manchurian candidate, a Raghead posing as a Christfag who may even be the Antichrist. Of course, because he is a nigger, he probably would have just tried to steal the election if he didn't win, although some have argued that this conjecture doesn't follow considering Dubya stole the election despite being a Whitey. Others have countered that Dubya's actions are proof that rap music and prominent black culture are corrupting America.

To retarded Democrats and Daily Kos readers, Barack Jesus F. Kennedy Christ is a messianic cult leader, the reincarnation of John F. Kennedy born as a black Jesus come to save America from six years of Iraq, eight years of George W. Bush, and two centuries of white guilt.

Scientists have deemed it "impossible" to determine which side is more retarded, and have asked the public to refer to the Bible for answers.

America's 2nd 3rd Oreo President


As he was born in Kenya, Obama's ancestors were never slaves, therefore giving him no right to whine about slavery. This meant he had to find something else to complain about; politics. With his black sense of entitlement and his white personality, Obama set out to take over the world last Thursday. Obama is terrible at dancing, but he can still sink nothing but net over the white boys from the three-point line.

A drug-addicted terrorist, who is to Democrats the messiah. Some also believe that he is the devil himself and shall bring about the end of days. Additionally, the media liberal dipshits are now somehow fashion police and told his nigger ass that he had to wear a piece of metal or he would be even more of a terrorist.

Obama rose near the top of the presidential pack by parroting off the word "change" without even suggesting what kind of "change" he wants so voters can decide whether it happens to be "good" change or "bad" change. Additionally, he has very little political experience and actually believes this eminently qualifies him to be president above the other candidates in the field. No, seriously.

Additionally, reports have suggested that Obama has taken many of Hillary Clinton's ideas and simply passed them off as his own. While some are upset with Obama's potential plagiarism, others have acknowledged that it is just Obama's negro tendency to steal things off of white people. To quote Kevin Hassett, John McCain's economic advisor:

The fact is that Obama's plan today is the most shameless piece of potential plagiarism that I have ever seen. He basically took Hillary Clinton's words and Clinton's policies and called them his own. If I were a professor I'd give him an F and try to get him kicked out of school for something this terrible.


Gay sex and drugs

Shut yo mouf!
Obama loves his blonde bitches.

As with all politicians, Barack Obama is not without his dark secrets and shadowy past, and since Obama is black, this trait is amplified. The following is a video of some guy who says that in 1999, Obama used and sold crack and cocaine as the two drove around in a limousine. This mysterious individual then goes on to claim that he also performed oral sex on Obama! While this would initially seem detrimental to Obama's chances of winning the presidency, one must remember that the individual was most likely Hillary Clinton who is in fact not an actual human. We must also remember that a cokehead and a sex fiend have already served as president of the United States, however separately. Obama counters that no one would actually want to fuck this guy, so the stories must be false. Although these claims have yet to be validated (they're clearly true), the video still makes for excellent trolling material.

What is in a name?

Yes we can!
Probobly a Glenn Beck rally.

For moar on Obama's hilariously questionable name, we turn to the experts. To rapper and beacon of wisdom DMX, Barack Obama ain't no fuckin' name, as poignantly divulged in an interview:

XXL: Are you following the presidential race?

DMX: Not at all.

XXL: You’re not? You know there’s a Black guy running, Barack Obama and then there’s Hillary Clinton.
DMX: His name is Barack?!

XXL: Barack Obama, yeah.
DMX: Barack?!

XXL: Barack.
DMX: What the fuck is a Barack?! Barack Obama. Where he from, Africa?

XXL: Yeah, his dad is from Kenya.
DMX: Barack Obama?

XXL: Yeah.
DMX: What the fuck?! That ain’t no fuckin’ name, yo. That ain’t that nigga’s name. You can’t be serious. Barack Obama. Get the fuck outta here.

XXL: You’re telling me you haven’t heard about him before.
DMX: I ain’t really paying much attention.

XXL: I mean, it’s pretty big if a Black…
DMX: Wow, Barack! The nigga’s name is Barack. Barack? Nigga named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this nigga when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name. Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.”



2008 Presidential Campaign

The election in a pokebal-- err, nutshell


Obama's campaign slogan during the primaries.
He wants change... in your pants
Obama loves the white wimmins

In a shocking and lulzy much shock and lulz were had when Hillary Clinton featured a negative campaign ad about national security or some shit. The ad is set at 3:00 AM, and the country is going through a terror attack or something. Apparently, there's a phone ringing at the White House, and Hillary Clinton (in full business attire) answers it. The ad is supposed to convince you that Clinton would be better suited to deal with this situation. However, noone really cares whether this is actually true, because the viewer's attention is lost within the first 15 seconds when the letters "NIG" could be plainly read on a sleeping child's pajamas. Why Clinton chose to use this specific stock footage for her campaign remains unclear. Some argue that it's because she's racist, while others say that it's because she doesn't like niggers. Naturally, the internets soon went ablaze in fierce debate, even though Hillary is completely correct in suggesting that nobody wants a nigger answering his/her call of distress at 3 in the morning. Below is the original campaign ad along with some links to the ensuing shitstorm. Additionally, many parodies of the ad can be found on YouTube. Although it shouldn't need to be stated, TROLL FOR GREAT JUSTICE.

In an even lulzier twist, the delicious loli featured in the ad, Casey Knowles, says she actually prefers Obama, and denounces the ad as fear-mongering. According to her mom, when Casey shook Obama's hand, she cried and trembled.

Obama's Pastor

Obama in a fez

HOLY FUCKING RACISM, BATMAN! It turns out that Obama's long time Christian Pastor, Jeremiah Wright, is anti-American and batshit crazy. Last Thursday, rather than preaching to his gathering about how to better their lives or the lessons of peace of the Bible like pastors with normal skin, Pastor Wright went on a crazy, lulz filled rant on the various ways in which black people are oppressed in America. Many Blacks agreed but told him to STFU for fear of scaring white voters who believe black people are totally equal now. While Obama denounced Wright's comments, he refused to disown the pastor himself, saying he was 'like family'. Obama then used the event as a launching-point to speak some inspiring bullshit in a Philadelphia speech about race -- resulting in respectful acknowledgment and carefully-worded analysis by the Old Media.

Running Mate

Being a terrorist nigger, Obama selected Joe Biden as his running mate for the specific purpose of being able to call his administration the Obama Bin Biden Administration. Others vetted include The Man in the Yellow Hat, The Man in the Yellow Turbin, Osama Bin Laden, and Bill Ayers.

Deez Nuts

Jesse Jackson Describes how much he wants Obama's nuts

On July 8, 2008 Reverend Jesse Jackson, bored with not being in the news, expressed a strong desire to emasculate Barack Obama. While Jesse Jackson was preparing for an interview on CNN, a camera recorded Jackson talking with a friend of his about the Democratic presidential candidate. Specifically, Jackson described an elaborate process by which he would forcibly remove Barack Obama's testicles with a sharp implement because of something he'd seen on the Cosby Show.

The last public threat against a presidential candidate's nuts was in 1884 when Grover Cleveland swore loudly into a megaphone that he would soon have rival Samuel J. Tilden's shrivelled old man balls swinging from the highest tree in the union.

After they found out that Jackson's threat had been captured on video, CNN called both the Obama campaign and Jesse Jackson to tell them about the contents of the tape before they blabbed about it to the rest of the nation. This provided Jesse Jackson with an opportunity to pre-emptively apologize to Obama before Republicans could start telling jokes about it.

No one takes Jesse Jackson seriously anymore. Not even his own son, Ill Representative Jesse Jackson Jr. (an actual politician) who took the time to call the old man out.

Jackson's surrender:

The Real First Black President

Barack Obama is not the first black man to be in office. Warren G. Harding's opponent ran a "he's-a-nigger" campaign and provided evidence that Harding's grandmother was a jungle bunny. The country ignored this, and elected him anyway. Most historians regard Warren G. Harding as the worst second worst president, right after the first gay president. Clearly, America does not learn from its mistakes.


Yeah, pretty much.
RT '2035' promo: Retired Obama, John Kerry, & ft President Snowden
"John Kerry" and "Barack Obama" appear on RT for its 10th anniversary.

Family Life

Typical day in Kenya for George.

George Obama is the evil half twin brother of Barack Obama (who surprisingly has a normal last name unlike real baboon names such as Oomfoofoo Mutanbe). When not seeking out white wimminz to make love to, he can be seen roaming the slums of Africa claiming to be a drug dealing kingpin. Despite accusations of getting arrested for buying weed on the streets of Kenya, he claims like every single other nigger that he was set up. Little is known about him besides the fact that he likes to smoke weed. Plenty of weed.


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