Rape Womble

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A somewhat confusing police identity parade

Every decade has its defining moment. For the 1980s, it was the Berlin Wall coming down. For the 1990s it was the death of Princess Diana There may have been something that happened that shaped the entire first decade of the 21st Century, but noone can remember what it was.

But what of the 1970s? There are many to choose from: Watergate; who shot JR?; the Star Wars episode of the Muppet Show?

No, the 1970s reached an unsurpassable peak on 20 December 1973, when the following took place.

WTF are wombles?

You mean "WTF were wombles?" as they were graciously hunted to extinction in the 1990s.

Wombles were made-up eco-friendly furries who lived on Wimbledon Common, south west London. They were the means by which an entire generation of Britfags was brainwashed into hand-washing their own trash for free so that the local council could make money by recycling it.

The gimmick of the wombles was that they picked up litter. That's it. You can see for yourself with the following video, if you really have too much time on your hands. (You don't really want to watch it, you want to get to the point of this article, and who can blame you?).

But puppets can't rape!

Oh, ye of little faith.

Due to being popufur with the kiddies, and having a feem chyune written by an oldfag lyricist called Mike Batt, a series of records was released, with which retards could sing along while their parents played cribbage and drank Mateus Rosé while bouncing up and down on spacehoppers. One of these TV 'tie-in' albums was called "Superwombling", and made it into the charts. So then some actors had to dress up as wombles and appear on the weekly BBC music program called Top of the Pops and jig about pretending to sing, so that schoolchildren would believe that wombles really existed.

This was rendered slightly disturbing by the fact that the cartoon wombles were about the size of a young badger whereas the live-action wombles were about six fucking feet tall, but no matter. Everyone had seen Kermit the frog ride a bicycle in longshot in the Muppet Movie and knew that puppets could do shit IRL. Here are the wombles on Top of the Pops for your viewing pleasure, if you really need showing. (We're getting close to the action now, so keep going).

This womble shit got to be what we would now call "A Thing" with the result that you would sometimes get wombles in the Top of the Pops studio audience, even when songs by the wombles weren't actually featured. You can see an example here, in footage that is like a sort of trisomy-afflicted cross between "Where's Wally?" and the Patterson "Bigfoot" film, as imagined by Russ Meyer (Nearly there!):

And now...

But who on earth would get any kind of pleasure out of dressing up as a six-foot fur-clad abomination and lurking anonymously among an unsuspecting audience consisting of schoolkids?

You guessed it!

Jimmy Savile raped a ten-year-old boy and sexually assaulted a girl of 12 while he was dressed as a Womble, a long-awaited report into his 'monstrous' campaign of sex abuse has revealed.

The BBC DJ attacked the children in his personal dressing room minutes after walking off the set of a Top of the Pops pre-Christmas show in 1973. He told the children, who had excitedly persuaded relatives to take them to TOTP special, that it would be 'their little secret'.

The girl, who was 12 at the time, had travelled to London from Scotland to visit her aunt, who accompanied her to the studios in December.

She and the boy, 10, were taken to meet Savile, who was still dressed in the Womble costume he had presented the show in. The woman, who now lives abroad, told the review that after chatting for around 15 minutes Savile raped the boy. He then sexually assaulted her and made the boy watch while he was 'sat still like a statue'.



Savile sez you gonna get wombled.jpg


Where are your 1970s now, retrofags?

See also

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Rape Womble is part of the kiddie-sex scandal...
Jim'll Fix It!

Rape Womble is part of a series on
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