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Wesley tries to kill his dog by feeding it bananas and bread.
You can't compress electricity.
Wesley doesn't want to be tortured because it'll increase his hatrid.
Wesley helps out the girls with their aiks.
Wrestling class suddenly.
Wesley saves a life.

Wesley!!! is a meme originating from the 11th of November 2008 when /b/ innocently stumbled upon the profile of a particulary retarded Yahoo Answers user and decided it was lulz.

In essence, Wesley combines a large number of the things which make the internet a bad place. Not only is he a Jesus loving Christfag who constantly credits the Lord as his source of knowledge, he is also a self-confessed lover of bestiality who hates gays and seems to believe that he knows everything there ever was to know. Don't bother going to see the doctor, Wesley has all the information you need to make your ass stop pissing blood.

In addition to all that, Wesley's spelling is around the level of an aspie three year old who's spent his entire life in a ditch being raped by foxes. Sometimes it's almost impossible to understand which part of his penis he's trying to tell you was bleeding last night.

Wisdom of Wesley

i slowly bent towards jesus throught the years.


—On Jesus.

i don't hate gay people i hate the things they do such as whoring around with the same gender bringing great and unemanginble diseases.


—On why he hates gays.

cannabilism is unhealthy. it was on the health channel.


—On cannabalism

i let my dogs eat bananas and lick peanut butter off my face.


—On bestiality.

i am top dog and nobody dares to hump me.


—On himself.

theyer like the comination of a butcher, a pig or wolf, and a pocher


—On vampires.

i am good at putting baby children to sleep by making them thinj theyrer in a car


—On being a pedo.

i'd cook jesus pasta


—On...wait, what?

save your manhood!!!!


—On the time he cut open his balls.

wetdreams are 10X better.


—On masturbation.



—On pooping blood.


Opinions are mixed on whether or not Wesley is indeed as stupid and batshit insane as he appears or if he's just another loveable Yahoo Answers troll. Unfortunately, it is a question to which we will probably never know the answer as Wesley seems reluctant to reveal any information on himself that doesn't revolve around his dog or weird parts of his body that bleed.

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